Patrick served faithfully and notes that his “faith defined every decision of [his] life.” He was successful at putting his issues on the shelf for decades until he wasn’t and it came time to understand and accept his own gay child in the context of the church. He found the church position lacking when studying …
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Sam Young discovered that his children had been asked sexually explicit questions by Bishops in worthiness interviews. This troubled him and he discovered that it is commonplace among Mormon Bishops to ask these questions, which lead to real harm. He advocated for protecting children from this harm and campaigned for church leaders to stop the …
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Ken converted to the church and then faithfully served in church callings and as a CES Educator. Over his 27 years teaching for the church, he grew increasingly uneasy with the whitewashed history the church teaches and took notes along the way. Eventually, this led to a tipping point where he “just couldn’t violate [his] …
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Brent was raised in the church and served faithfully. Over time his shelf items overloaded his testimony. He was particularly distressed after leaving to find out that issues he dismissed as anti-mormon lies were confirmed to be true by the church gospel topic essays. He left the church with his wife and joined his 4 …
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Evert accepted God into his life as a young man, met the missionaries, and joined the Mormon church. He served a mission, married in the temple (without his non-member family present), and began a Mormon family. When he questioned his leaders they retorted that they don’t make mistakes. He noticed a lack of the Spirit …
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Emma didn’t feel right or safe at church. She struggled with the dissonance until she stumbled on ex-Mormon creators and community and knew she’d finally found her people! I was born into the church. I left the church in 2020, after taking a hiatus from church for about a year. I decided I didn’t want …
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Madison found she always had questions, but was forced to them off. She told herself, that she’d “figure it out later.” She did figure it out eventually through her experiences in the church and the temple to know that the church is not true. She felt connected to diety and felt confirmation that she was …
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Jeff was all-in and served with gusto. He learned to overlook things on his shelf and assumed that since others who knew more than he did could stay, he should trust them. Over time the issues on his shelf piled high until he learned more about “the treatment of and attitude regarding LGBQT+ people.” He …
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Teddi chipped away on her Mormon checklist, repented when guilt and shame told her she needed to, and thought that without the rules and teachings of the church, she wouldn’t be happy. Over time she found herself disillusioned from the church, and still happy. She recognizes there is still healing on the other side, but …
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Christopher’s path within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints encompassed doubt, growth, and eventual departure. Born into the faith, he faced critical information as a teen and young adult. He grappled with church history, racial issues, and doctrinal conflicts. His departure from the church marks an authentic pursuit of personal truth and growth …
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Daniel was raised Mormon and cruised along the Mormon conveyor belt in life. He’s also a physician and was educated to “research and investigate, to seek truth from reliable sources”. He suffered from religious scrupulosity and constantly felt like a sinner. He came across the Gospel Topic Essays though and quickly felt “uneasy with the …
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John was a golden convert. He found comfort in the certainty. He also found the authority of the church exacerbated his anxiety into a real OCD and religious scrupulosity. The high-control authoritarian system was incredibly unhealthy for him throughout adolescence and a mission. John acknowledges that some may blame his OCD, but he knows it …
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Tom discovered that he does not need special qualifications to analyze the text of the Book of Mormon. He found plenty of simple evidence that shows it is “easily seen as a product of its time.” He feels that the lack of support from church leadership negates any claims from apologists and cites that the …
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Simon was an active, believing member serving as a Bishop. While reading the Ensign he came across some interesting statements regarding the Flood which led him to research more about it. He came upon “volumes of scientific research” that contradicted things he believed at church. Then he applied his own scientific training in molecular genetics …
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Brigham Young was the second leader of the Mormon church. He wanted no dissension among the ranks and taught that members who openly disagree with church leaders are cursed. He said that any who reject Mormon doctrine or the absolute authority of the church leaders are apostates. He shared what he thinks of an apostate. …
Micah was all in and fully believed in the church. He lived every bit of it. To be more prepared for the second coming, he studied church doctrine deeply. But as he studied church history, he learned that what he’s always been taught wasn’t exactly an honest representation of history. In fact, he found that …
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Lyndon Lamborn served well in the church. But as he served he found himself examining the beliefs he was taught and found some issues that seemed not to add up. This troubled him, but he continued on until he reached a tipping point he describes perfectly: “The desire to know the truth at whatever cost …
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Richard Packham is a founding father of the ex-mormon internet. He tells his story of diving deep into church history in order to spread the gospel. He found troubling issues and even wrote to Joseph Fielding Smith to make sense of it all. Everything clicked one moment when he realized all his questions and problems …
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Beth converted at a young age and struggled with being fully active, but once she was on her own she dedicated herself to the church, she “fully embraced the gospel” and “loved it”. Raising her own family, however, presented the dissonance of unconditional love and a “scary judgmental God” but she soldiered on because she’d …
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Debra was raised in the faith in a large, strict Mormon family. She didn’t feel like she ever made her own decisions because she was to “follow all the rules set by the church and never deviate.” After some exploration as a teen, she helped convert her husband and raised a faithful Mormon family herself. …
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In Germany, Tim was raised in an atheist family but was intrigued by the church. He met with missionaries and wanted to get baptized at 16 years old. At this age, he needed parental permission, which they did not give but he continued to investigate the church for two more years. He was baptized right …
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Andrew was raised in a Mormon family but harbored some doubts about the religion, especially when he failed to have spiritual experiences while training to serve a mission. He continued to attend church, get married in the temple, and raise his family in the faith but began to doubt the existence of God – and …
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Even though experiencing a faith crisis is devastating, there is hope, it does get better. After struggling with a breaking shelf and feelings of groundlessness, we can reconstruct and find wonder again. There is still magic to be found in the world! Even when deconstructing a church worldview or faith paradigm, we must dig deep …
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The show 60 Minutes broadcast a segment about the Mormon Billions. Sharyn Alfonsi follows up with whistleblower David Nielsen who resigned from his position at Ensign Peak Advisors and wrote the whistleblower report in 2019. Since then, the Mormon church has been fined 5 million dollars by the SEC for illegal filing practices, but Nielsen …
Mike was raised in the church and hit all the Mormon milestones. His wife struggled with church truth claims and left the church. He “eventually realized that [he] married her and not the church,” but also intended to reason her back into the church to regain his celestial family. He came up with issues that …
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Willow converted to the church as a young child and became a devout member of the church. She always knew she was different from other kids but didn’t understand why until puberty, when she started feeling wrong in her own body and wished she was a girl. She fell into a deep depression after praying …
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May the Fourth be with you. In honor of today – which is commonly known as Star Wars Day, because May the Fourth sounds like “May the Force be with you” – let’s look at a simple example of gaslighting, or as it can be referred to when aided by the Force, Jedi mind-tricks. May …
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Considering the demeaning parable from Elder Renlund about the spoiled boy leaving the boat and Elder Holland being furious with members who “bail” and imploring members to “Stay in the Boat” as well as The Old Ship Zion references from Brigham Young, Mormon church culture has a lot of imagery around boats, and staying in …
Gen grew up as a military brat with strict Mormon parents and experienced various forms of abuse during her childhood. She also suffered the devastating loss of her brother, who was her best friend, and sees Mormon beliefs as a contributing factor. After leaving the church, she is now focusing on healing and discovering her …
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A recent episode of the Mormon Book Reviews podcast features an interview with Evan, the creator of wasmormon.org, and his brother Garrett. Evan shares the story of how he came to create the website and why he chose to share his experience of leaving the Mormon church. The interview includes the personal stories of faith …
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