Debra was raised in the faith in a large, strict Mormon family. She didn’t feel like she ever made her own decisions because she was to “follow all the rules set by the church and never deviate.” After some exploration as a teen, she helped convert her husband and raised a faithful Mormon family herself. …
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The church has lately been making regular changes to church policy and the church handbook. Most of these changes are met with praise, such as 2-hour church services! Others seem to simply be bureaucratic noise. Retiring the Home and Visiting Teaching programs, only to replace them with a similar Ministering Program, a big push to …
In Germany, Tim was raised in an atheist family but was intrigued by the church. He met with missionaries and wanted to get baptized at 16 years old. At this age, he needed parental permission, which they did not give but he continued to investigate the church for two more years. He was baptized right …
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In 1945, the LDS magazine Improvement Era stated: “When our leaders speak, the thinking has been done. … To think otherwise, without immediate repentance, may cost one his faith, may destroy his testimony, and leave him a stranger to the kingdom of God.” This wasn’t just a random article, it was the teaching message for …
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Andrew was raised in a Mormon family but harbored some doubts about the religion, especially when he failed to have spiritual experiences while training to serve a mission. He continued to attend church, get married in the temple, and raise his family in the faith but began to doubt the existence of God – and …
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Mike was raised in the church and hit all the Mormon milestones. His wife struggled with church truth claims and left the church. He “eventually realized that [he] married her and not the church,” but also intended to reason her back into the church to regain his celestial family. He came up with issues that …
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Willow converted to the church as a young child and became a devout member of the church. She always knew she was different from other kids but didn’t understand why until puberty, when she started feeling wrong in her own body and wished she was a girl. She fell into a deep depression after praying …
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Elder McKay the official Church Historian, with no credentials for history, but a career lawyer and executive gave a devotional at BYU-I in April 2023 titled A Sure and Certain Foundation. He detailed to students and young adults how to strengthen their faith in the church and how to face doubts. Elder McKay, Church Historian …
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Considering the demeaning parable from Elder Renlund about the spoiled boy leaving the boat and Elder Holland being furious with members who “bail” and imploring members to “Stay in the Boat” as well as The Old Ship Zion references from Brigham Young, Mormon church culture has a lot of imagery around boats, and staying in …
Gen grew up as a military brat with strict Mormon parents and experienced various forms of abuse during her childhood. She also suffered the devastating loss of her brother, who was her best friend, and sees Mormon beliefs as a contributing factor. After leaving the church, she is now focusing on healing and discovering her …
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In his lazy learners and lax disciples talk at the April 2021 General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, church President Russell M Nelson emphasized the importance of developing faith in Jesus Christ through intentional effort and action. Those who don’t succeed in this self-administered brainwash he refers to as “lazy …
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Pascal’s Wager is an argument proposed by the French mathematician and philosopher Blaise Pascal in the 17th century, which attempts to demonstrate that it is rational to believe in God. It does not provide evidence or proof that God exists, but it sets up belief as a rational choice we can make and outlines the …
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Samuel grew up in the church doing all the Mormon things with his family. As an adult, he took the opportunity to “do a deep dive into the doctrine.” He found out that what he was taught to be true, were in fact lies. Through this struggle, he faced anger and devastation, but with reflection …
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Brendan was raised in the church but from early on saw things that didn’t sit well with his soul. He recognizes many instances in his life where cognitive dissonance was telling him something wasn’t right. This led him to study deeply and even pursue a study of history, which led him to an internship with …
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When Latter-day Saints discover problems with church history and doctrine, they often turn to church leaders and scholars for answers. Sometimes these answers are more unsettling than the problems themselves. Here’s a video compilation followed by quotes with individual sources where available. Some struggle with unanswered questionsabout things that have been doneor said in the …
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Sally believed in real love and integrity, but no longer saw those values at church. What she found was a Corporate Mormon Jesus that was not living the Golden Rule or living the rules it subjects its own members to. She resigned because “although it’s easier to walk away, I don’t want my name associated …
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Adam saw the church as providing a guilt-driven narrative aimed only at keeping him in control. This isn’t a healthy environment, let alone a church, and now he’s enjoying his freedom and a life of exploration, while at the same time admitting there is still a struggle. He’s found that communities that understand his journey …
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Do you have exmormon trauma? Try writing your story. Write about your faith deconstruction or crisis. wasmormon.org gives you a place to do this important and healing writing. Consider contributing your story to the site so others can read it and find community and validation as well! Suppressing the trauma is bad for us and …
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As a convert in his late teens, Bill Reel learned early that church history was messy, but loved it. He began a podcast (which has now grown to host over a dozen individual podcasts) to discuss and explore this messy mormon history. Over the years through examining the church, he discovered that the Mormon church …
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Rebekah didn’t have to look further than the prejudice against women to know that the Mormon church was not where she belonged. Even though it took a few years, she doesn’t look back. I enjoy music and running. I am a hiker and explorer. I was a mormon. I grew up in the church. I …
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Heidi was a faithful member who enjoyed studying church history. Recently, the “new” church history became disturbing and sounded more like a cult. Through her spouse leaving the church she struggled with the fear-based messages of church leaders and digging in to understand when they are speaking as prophets vs as men, realizing that they …
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Laycie had a rude wake-up call when she was put into a situation to choose between her church and her child. Thankfully, she listened to her love and realized that she was in a cult. So happy to know that she got out and supported her child! ❤️ I’m here. I’m queer. I love the …
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Rebecca was always a devoted mother and homeschooled her children. Ward leaders frowned upon homeschooling and judged her for it. As she found herself and studied mysticism more, she saw that it was not compatible with the church. I was an overly devoted mormon throughout my life. I was a homeschooling mother to four children …
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Jayme sought evidence for the testable truth claims of the church. He looked at the Book of Mormon and found it lacking when using history and science as his guide. I was a mormon. The testable truth claims that need to be true for the Book of Mormon to be true are not true. A …
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Joseph Smith purportedly knew he was going to be killed, and said the following, which is now canonized in the D&C scriptures as the dominant narrative of the church. I am going like a lamb to the slaughter; but I am calm as a summer’s morning; I have a conscience void of offense towards God, …
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Jen supported her family through trials and desperately wanted to be together forever with her mother who passed when she was a teenager. But between experiencing sexism in the church, her son coming out as gay, and her daughter struggling with the corporate sales tone of her mission it didn’t add up. She struggled with …
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Though Oaks will say research is not the answer, and the church uses research to understand why they are losing so many members to a faith crisis, the church handbook has something else to say about research. Research in the Church Research as defined in the church handbook is to gather information to support the …
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Jessie was troubled by her shelf items: issues with church history, sexism, racism, and homophobia in the Mormon church. It became too much to reconcile, and she’s lucky to have left the church as a whole family. Born and raised in Germany and live now in Texas. I was a mormon. We left the church …
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Elder Jeffrey R Holland gave a fiery talk at a devotional in Tempe, Arizona in April 2016. Tempe Rescue This is a very dynamic address, and he’s quite emotionally charged about those who leave. Though charged, Holland does come off as more intelligent than in his BBC interview where he claims he’s neither an idiot …
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Jeff believed it all and served until he reached a tipping point where he found belief itself to be damaging. He stopped believing in anything and struggled through a mixed-faith marriage until he discovered “so much nastiness cluttering up nearly every aspect of the church” and sharing these issues with his wife, she joined him …
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