Tag Archives: marriage

Union of spouses. Temple marriage required for highest salvation.

A Loving God?

When deconstructing religious beliefs, examining whether the God we’ve been taught to worship and admire is indeed as loving as we think is on the table for many. Christianity teaches that “God is Love,” but examining scriptural narratives reveals inconsistencies in this portrayal, especially concerning God’s actions as a parental figure. Here are several examples …

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Martha Brotherton: Pressured by Church Leaders to Become a Plural Wife

In July 1842, the Sangamo Journal published the affidavit of Martha H. Brotherton, a young English convert who had only recently arrived in Nauvoo with her family. In it, she recounts a disturbing encounter where she was pressured by church leaders Brigham Young, Heber C. Kimball, and Joseph Smith himself to become Young’s plural wife. …

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The one-wife system not only degenerates the human family, both physically and intellectually, but it is entirely incompatible with philosopbical notions of immortality; it is a lure to temptation, and has always proved a curse to a people. Hence I see the wisdom of God in not tolerating any such system among the celestial worthies who are to be kings and queens unto God for ever. - Official LDS periodical, Millennial Star, Vol. 15, Samuel W. Richards, editor. p. 227, Nelly and Abby, A familiar conversation between two cousins on marriage, April 9, 1853 | wasmormon.org
The one-wife system not only degenerates the human family, both physically and intellectually, but it is entirely incompatible with philosopbical notions of immortality; it is a lure to temptation, and has always proved a curse to a people. Hence I see the wisdom of God in not tolerating any such system among the celestial worthies who are to be kings and queens unto God for ever. - Official LDS periodical, Millennial Star, Vol. 15, Samuel W. Richards, editor. p. 227, Nelly and Abby, A familiar conversation between two cousins on marriage, April 9, 1853
Monogamy, or restrictions by law to one wife, is no part of the economy of heaven among men. Such a system was commenced by the founders of the Roman empire....Rome became the mistress of the world, and introduced this order of monogamy wherever her sway was acknowledged. Thus this monogamic order of marriage, so esteemed by modern Christians as a holy sacrament and divine institution, is nothing but a system established by a set of robbers.... Why do we believe in and practice polygamy? Because the Lord introduced it to his servants in a revelation given to Joseph Smith, and the Lord's servants have always practiced it. 'And is that religion popular in heaven?' it is the only popular religion there... - Brigham Young, The Deseret News, August 6, 1862 | wasmormon.org
Monogamy, or restrictions by law to one wife, is no part of the economy of heaven among men. Such a system was commenced by the founders of the Roman empire....Rome became the mistress of the world, and introduced this order of monogamy wherever her sway was acknowledged. Thus this monogamic order of marriage, so esteemed by modern Christians as a holy sacrament and divine institution, is nothing but a system established by a set of robbers.... Why do we believe in and practice polygamy? Because the Lord introduced it to his servants in a revelation given to Joseph Smith, and the Lord's servants have always practiced it. 'And is that religion popular in heaven?' it is the only popular religion there... - Brigham Young, The Deseret News, August 6, 1862
“Polygamy is particularly disastrous for women... No one can truly feel safe inside a marriage whose vows have an asterisk.” - Perspective: It’s time to push back against the glamorization of polyamory, Opinion By Maria Baer and Brad Wilcox, Deseret News, October 18, 2025 | wasmormon.org
“Polygamy is particularly disastrous for women... No one can truly feel safe inside a marriage whose vows have an asterisk.” - Perspective: It’s time to push back against the glamorization of polyamory, Opinion By Maria Baer and Brad Wilcox, Deseret News, October 18, 2025

Deseret News on Polygamy

The Audacity The recent Deseret News opinion piece condemning polygamy and polyamory as a “direct threat to kids” and insisting that “monogamy ought to remain our social ideal” is dripping with irony. For a newspaper owned by the LDS Church to rail against the supposed dangers of polygamy—without mentioning their own history as America’s largest …

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“We declare that we believe, that one man should have one wife; and one woman, but one husband... We have given the above rule of marriage as the only one practiced in this church, to show that Dr. J. C. Bennett's "secret wife system" is a matter of his own manufacture... We know of no other rule or system of marriage than the one published from the Book of Doctrine and Covenants, and we give this certificate to show that Dr. J. C. Bennett’s “secret wife system” is a creature of his own make as we know of no such society in this place nor never did.” - Joseph Smith, October 1, 1842. At the time, he had at least 13 wives. Times and Seasons, Vol. 3, No. 21, October 1, 1842, On Marriage | wasmormon.org
“We declare that we believe, that one man should have one wife; and one woman, but one husband... We have given the above rule of marriage as the only one practiced in this church, to show that Dr. J. C. Bennett's "secret wife system" is a matter of his own manufacture... We know of no other rule or system of marriage than the one published from the Book of Doctrine and Covenants, and we give this certificate to show that Dr. J. C. Bennett’s “secret wife system” is a creature of his own make as we know of no such society in this place nor never did.” - Joseph Smith, October 1, 1842. At the time, he had at least 13 wives. Times and Seasons, Vol. 3, No. 21, October 1, 1842, On Marriage

Joseph Smith’s Polygamy Denials: Carefully Worded Lies, Loopholes, and Lasting Damage

One of the most unsettling aspects of Mormon history is the secret practice of polygamy. Joseph Smith publicly denied practicing polygamy while secretly marrying between 30 and 40 women, including teenagers and other men’s wives, as the church’s published essay confirms (in a footnote). The exact number of women to whom he was sealed in …

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Rumors prompted members and leaders to issue carefully worded denials that denounced spiritual wifery and polygamy but were silent about what Joseph Smith and others saw as divinely mandated “celestial” plural marriage. [Footnote: In the denials, “polygamy” was understood to mean the marriage of one man to more than one woman but without Church sanction.] LDS Church Website, Gospel Topics Essays: Plural Marriage in Kirtland and Nauvoo | wasmormon.org
Rumors prompted members and leaders to issue carefully worded denials that denounced spiritual wifery and polygamy but were silent about what Joseph Smith and others saw as divinely mandated “celestial” plural marriage. [Footnote: In the denials, “polygamy” was understood to mean the marriage of one man to more than one woman but without Church sanction.] - LDS Church Website, Gospel Topics Essays: Plural Marriage in Kirtland and Nauvoo
The statements emphasized that the Church practiced no marital law other than monogamy while implicitly leaving open the possibility that individuals, under direction of God’s living prophet, might do so. [Footnote: See, for example, “On Marriage,” Times and Seasons, Oct. 1, 1842, 939–40; and Wilford Woodruff journal, Nov. 25, 1843, Church History Library, Salt Lake City; Parley P. Pratt, “This Number Closes the First Volume of the ‘Prophet,’” The Prophet, May 24, 1845, 2. George A. Smith explained, “Any one who will read carefully the denials, as they are termed, of plurality of wives in connection with the circumstances will see clearly that they denounce adultery, fornication, brutal lust and the teaching of plurality of wives by those who were not commanded to do so” (George A. Smith letter to Joseph Smith III, Oct. 9, 1869, in Journal History of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Oct. 9, 1869, Church History Library, Salt Lake City).] LDS Church Website, Gospel Topics Essays: Plural Marriage in Kirtland and Nauvoo | wasmormon.org
The statements emphasized that the Church practiced no marital law other than monogamy while implicitly leaving open the possibility that individuals, under direction of God’s living prophet, might do so. [Footnote: See, for example, “On Marriage,” Times and Seasons, Oct. 1, 1842, 939–40; and Wilford Woodruff journal, Nov. 25, 1843, Church History Library, Salt Lake City; Parley P. Pratt, “This Number Closes the First Volume of the ‘Prophet,’” The Prophet, May 24, 1845, 2. George A. Smith explained, “Any one who will read carefully the denials, as they are termed, of plurality of wives in connection with the circumstances will see clearly that they denounce adultery, fornication, brutal lust and the teaching of plurality of wives by those who were not commanded to do so” (George A. Smith letter to Joseph Smith III, Oct. 9, 1869, in Journal History of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Oct. 9, 1869, Church History Library, Salt Lake City).] - LDS Church Website, Gospel Topics Essays: Plural Marriage in Kirtland and Nauvoo

Mormon Leadership On Women

The LDS or Mormon Church has long articulated clear and restrictive expectations for women. Framed as divinely inspired guidance, these teachings portray a woman’s highest calling as homemaking, motherhood, and submission to traditional gender roles. While many women in the church find meaning in family life, the rigid and one-dimensional framework leaves little room for …

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What eventually tipped the balance for me was learning about the excommunication of Natasha Helfer, a licensed marriage counselor and former Mormon, who was excommunicated the year prior for openly speaking out against the harm the church's doctrine of chastity, and it's accompanying purity culture. I researched her story more. What she had said made sense, and resonated with my own experiences. She seemed to want to help people find healing, but in the end was punished for it. Something clicked in my brain as I contemplated what all of this meant. It became very clear to me that no benevolent God would accept or condone any of it. That’s when I realized that my integrity was on trial, not my faith. I knew then that I needed to resign from the church immediately. - Nathanael's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/nathanael-davenport/
What eventually tipped the balance for me was learning about the excommunication of Natasha Helfer, a licensed marriage counselor and former Mormon, who was excommunicated the year prior for openly speaking out against the harm the church's doctrine of chastity, and it's accompanying purity culture. I researched her story more. What she had said made sense, and resonated with my own experiences. She seemed to want to help people find healing, but in the end was punished for it. Something clicked in my brain as I contemplated what all of this meant. It became very clear to me that no benevolent God would accept or condone any of it. That’s when I realized that my integrity was on trial, not my faith. I knew then that I needed to resign from the church immediately. - Nathanael's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/nathanael-davenport/
I was anticipating marriage and family. As a 26 year old, I felt (wrongly) that I was getting old and didn't want to be a single LDS woman for the rest of my life. There was the temple sealing I had long been looking forward to, but not a single member of my family was allowed in the temple, and I had another question on the back burner: Surely there's a way to include non-member and inactive family members at a temple wedding? And don't get me started on the Endowment ceremony. Could it be any weirder? That back burner was starting to get crowded. - Christi's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/avilabeach77/
I was anticipating marriage and family. As a 26 year old, I felt (wrongly) that I was getting old and didn't want to be a single LDS woman for the rest of my life. There was the temple sealing I had long been looking forward to, but not a single member of my family was allowed in the temple, and I had another question on the back burner: Surely there's a way to include non-member and inactive family members at a temple wedding? And don't get me started on the Endowment ceremony. Could it be any weirder? That back burner was starting to get crowded. - Christi's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/avilabeach77/
“The First Presidency have recently received letters making inquiry concerning the position of the Church regarding the contracting of polygamous or plural marriages. It is evident these letters, a well as from certain published material—some of it distributed during our last General Conference—that a secret and, according to reputation, an oath-bound organization of misguided individuals is seeking to lead the people to adopt adulterous relations under the guise of a pretended and false polygamous or plural marriage ceremony.” - Official Statement from the First Presidency (Heber J. Grant, Anthony W. Ivins, J. Reuben Clark) of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Deseret News, June 17, 1933. | wasmormon.org
“The First Presidency have recently received letters making inquiry concerning the position of the Church regarding the contracting of polygamous or plural marriages. It is evident these letters, a well as from certain published material—some of it distributed during our last General Conference—that a secret and, according to reputation, an oath-bound organization of misguided individuals is seeking to lead the people to adopt adulterous relations under the guise of a pretended and false polygamous or plural marriage ceremony.” - Official Statement from the First Presidency (Heber J. Grant, Anthony W. Ivins, J. Reuben Clark) of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Deseret News, June 17, 1933.

The 1886 Revelation Denial and the LDS Church’s Longstanding Dishonesty

In the complex history of Mormonism, few documents expose the tensions between prophetic revelation and institutional survival quite like John Taylor’s 1886 revelation. This revelation, written in Taylor’s own hand, declared that the divine commandment of plural marriage would not and could not be revoked. Yet for over a century, the Church of Jesus Christ …

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“[A woman] was contemplating a temple marriage to a man whose eternal companion had died. She would be a second wife. She asked this question: would she be able to have her own house in the next life, or would she have to live with her husband and his first wife? I just told her to trust the Lord... You should be worried about whether you will get to [kingdom of glory]. Concentrate on that. If you get there, all of it will be more wonderful than you can imagine.” - Dallin H. Oaks, LDS Apostle, “Trust in the Lord”, October 2019 | wasmormon.org
“[A woman] was contemplating a temple marriage to a man whose eternal companion had died. She would be a second wife. She asked this question: would she be able to have her own house in the next life, or would she have to live with her husband and his first wife? I just told her to trust the Lord... You should be worried about whether you will get to [kingdom of glory]. Concentrate on that. If you get there, all of it will be more wonderful than you can imagine.” - Dallin H. Oaks, LDS Apostle, “Trust in the Lord”, October 2019

Trust Us—We Don’t Know: Dallin H. Oaks, Polygamy, and the Promise of Mormon Heaven

In a 2019 talk, Dallin H. Oaks—apostle and current First Counselor in the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints—responded to a question that hits at the heart of the legacy peculiar Mormon doctrine of plural marriage, especially for women today: If a woman marries a widower sealed to his first …

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“On Friday, June 7, 1844, dissenters from the Church published the one and only issue of an opposition newspaper they called the Nauvoo Expositor... The dissenters... voiced their discontent with the practice of plural marriage, Joseph Smith’s teachings on the nature of God from his recent King Follett sermon, and his mixing of religious and civic authority in Nauvoo.” - LDS Website: Church History Topics: Nauvoo Expositor | wasmormon.org
“On Friday, June 7, 1844, dissenters from the Church published the one and only issue of an opposition newspaper they called the Nauvoo Expositor... The dissenters... voiced their discontent with the practice of plural marriage, Joseph Smith’s teachings on the nature of God from his recent King Follett sermon, and his mixing of religious and civic authority in Nauvoo.” - LDS Website: Church History Topics: Nauvoo Expositor
“Inasmuch as there are numerous reports in circulation that plural marriages have been entered into, contrary to the official declaration ... which forbade any marriages violative of the law of the land, I, Joseph F. Smith, ... hereby affirm and declare that no such marriages have been solemnized with the sanction, consent, or knowledge of the Church. And I hereby announce that all such marriages are prohibited, and if any officer or member of the Church shall assume to solemnize or enter into any such marriage, he will be deemed in transgression against the Church, and will be liable to be dealt with according to the rules and regulations thereof and excommunicated therefrom.” - Joseph F. Smith, 1904 "Second Manifesto" - Official Statement | wasmormon.org
“Inasmuch as there are numerous reports in circulation that plural marriages have been entered into, contrary to the official declaration ... which forbade any marriages violative of the law of the land, I, Joseph F. Smith, ... hereby affirm and declare that no such marriages have been solemnized with the sanction, consent, or knowledge of the Church. And I hereby announce that all such marriages are prohibited, and if any officer or member of the Church shall assume to solemnize or enter into any such marriage, he will be deemed in transgression against the Church, and will be liable to be dealt with according to the rules and regulations thereof and excommunicated therefrom.” - Joseph F. Smith, 1904 "Second Manifesto" - Official Statement
“Press dispatches... allege that plural marriages are still being solemnized ... also that in public discourses the leaders of the Church have taught, encouraged and urged the continuance of the practice of polygamy—I, therefore, as President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, do hereby, in the most solemn manner, declare that these charges are false. We are not teaching polygamy or plural marriage, nor permitting any person to enter into its practice, and I deny that either forty or any other number of plural marriages have during that period been solemnized in our Temples or in any other place in the Territory.” - Wilford Woodruff, 1890 Manifesto - D&C Official Declaration 1 | wasmormon.org
“Press dispatches... allege that plural marriages are still being solemnized ... also that in public discourses the leaders of the Church have taught, encouraged and urged the continuance of the practice of polygamy—I, therefore, as President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, do hereby, in the most solemn manner, declare that these charges are false. We are not teaching polygamy or plural marriage, nor permitting any person to enter into its practice, and I deny that either forty or any other number of plural marriages have during that period been solemnized in our Temples or in any other place in the Territory.” - Wilford Woodruff, 1890 Manifesto - D&C Official Declaration 1

Bishop Warren S. Snow’s Teenage Brides and The Castration of Thomas Lewis

In 1857, just as tensions with the U.S. government were escalating toward the Utah War, a dark and largely forgotten episode of Mormon frontier justice played out in Manti, Utah. It involved a young man named Thomas Lewis, potentially an unnamed teenage girl, and Warren S. Snow, a high-ranking Mormon bishop and militia leader. What …

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Leadership Suppress Dissenfecting Light – The Nauvoo Expositor

On June 7, 1844, a bold and short-lived newspaper called the Nauvoo Expositor published its first—and only—issue in Nauvoo, Illinois. It was created by former Mormon insiders who could no longer remain silent. They leveled charges against Joseph Smith, including abuse of power, political tyranny, and most explosively, his secret polygamy. The Nauvoo Expositor printed …

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