Tag Archives: I Was a Mormon

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In my second year of teaching, I met a man and fell in love. Six months after meeting, we were sealed in the temple. Eleven months after that, we had a baby, Morgan, and postpartum depression hit me like a ton of bricks. Our marriage went south, mostly because he just couldn't relate to my mental illness. After six years of marriage, we divorced. Soon after the divorce was finalized, I met another man on an LDS dating app. With encouragement from both of our bishops, I married far earlier than was healthy (again, only six months). We had four kids between us, and our daughters were the best of friends. Unfortunately, my new husband and I were not. Our marriage was never a particularly happy one, but it wasn't supposed to be, was it? Obedience. Sacrifice. Endurance to the End. That doctrine had been pounded into us since birth and there was no way we were going to waver from the straight and narrow. At least we were working toward happiness in the next life. - Kate's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/midlifeexmomomma/
In my second year of teaching, I met a man and fell in love. Six months after meeting, we were sealed in the temple. Eleven months after that, we had a baby, Morgan, and postpartum depression hit me like a ton of bricks. Our marriage went south, mostly because he just couldn't relate to my mental illness. After six years of marriage, we divorced. Soon after the divorce was finalized, I met another man on an LDS dating app. With encouragement from both of our bishops, I married far earlier than was healthy (again, only six months). We had four kids between us, and our daughters were the best of friends. Unfortunately, my new husband and I were not. Our marriage was never a particularly happy one, but it wasn't supposed to be, was it? Obedience. Sacrifice. Endurance to the End. That doctrine had been pounded into us since birth and there was no way we were going to waver from the straight and narrow. At least we were working toward happiness in the next life. - Kate's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/midlifeexmomomma/
I'm a mom, dog mom, divorcee, former teacher, barbershopper, future author, and public speaker. Born in the covenant, this past summer I turned 45 years old, and for my birthday I got a sweet midlife crisis. In a matter of months, I ended my 18-year teaching career to support my husband in his new career out of state, I quit grad school halfway through, my shelf came crashing down, I left the LDS church for good, my second husband and I divorced, I severed ties with my parents and others who refused to show empathy or respect my boundaries, we sold our home, I packed the place up single-handedly, and wound up homeless and unemployed. And all parts of this midlife transition were tied to my decision to first stay in, then ultimately leave the church. I was a Mormon. - Kate's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/midlifeexmomomma/
I'm a mom, dog mom, divorcee, former teacher, barbershopper, future author, and public speaker. Born in the covenant, this past summer I turned 45 years old, and for my birthday I got a sweet midlife crisis. In a matter of months, I ended my 18-year teaching career to support my husband in his new career out of state, I quit grad school halfway through, my shelf came crashing down, I left the LDS church for good, my second husband and I divorced, I severed ties with my parents and others who refused to show empathy or respect my boundaries, we sold our home, I packed the place up single-handedly, and wound up homeless and unemployed. And all parts of this midlife transition were tied to my decision to first stay in, then ultimately leave the church. I was a Mormon. - Kate's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/midlifeexmomomma/
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/spenceay94/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/spenceay94/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
"I first read the letter for my wife and I couldn't reconcile with the facts it contains, Joseph Smith was not a good man, he wasn't even pleasant from the sound of it. After that I struggled to see why I should stay." - Spence's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/spenceay94/
"I first read the letter for my wife and I couldn't reconcile with the facts it contains, Joseph Smith was not a good man, he wasn't even pleasant from the sound of it. After that I struggled to see why I should stay." - Spence's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/spenceay94/
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/docbob49/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/docbob49/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
"A small town Mormon boy. I had 4 years of released time seminary, a mission interview by Assistant Apostle Packer in 1962, a mission to Mississippi where we were told not to contact the Negro. I had a BYU faculty interview by Apostle Stapley in 1977 and a Salt Lake temple marriage. I served as a Branch President in Nebraska, on the High Council in Flagstaff, and in the Bishopric in Cache Valley. I was a Mormon." - Bob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/docbob49/
"A small town Mormon boy. I had 4 years of released time seminary, a mission interview by Assistant Apostle Packer in 1962, a mission to Mississippi where we were told not to contact the Negro. I had a BYU faculty interview by Apostle Stapley in 1977 and a Salt Lake temple marriage. I served as a Branch President in Nebraska, on the High Council in Flagstaff, and in the Bishopric in Cache Valley. I was a Mormon." - Bob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/docbob49/
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
"I lost my belief in God first, and let Mormonism hover at edges of my life through family and friends. I didn't spend time with it, but I didn't push it away. But my mental health deteriorated year after year. Until I realized that I was not living my life. I was enduring it. I was going through the motions I learned so long ago instead of deciding for myself what would make me happy. So I started detaching my sense of self from my Mormon upbringing. And though it has been work, it has been so worth it." - Jana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/
"I lost my belief in God first, and let Mormonism hover at edges of my life through family and friends. I didn't spend time with it, but I didn't push it away. But my mental health deteriorated year after year. Until I realized that I was not living my life. I was enduring it. I was going through the motions I learned so long ago instead of deciding for myself what would make me happy. So I started detaching my sense of self from my Mormon upbringing. And though it has been work, it has been so worth it." - Jana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/
"Suddenly I KNEW that there was no God. A loving God would NOT "allow" these things to happen over and over to good, loving, and faithful people. There was no lesson to be learned, just pain. I looked around and realized that all the piles of crap in my life did not have gold nuggets inside that I would enjoy in the next life. Crap happens, and there is no rhyme or reason to it. We have to do what we can to make our life and the lives of those we love as beautiful as we can. There is no magical sky daddy who will do it for us if we are 'good'." - Jana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/
"Suddenly I KNEW that there was no God. A loving God would NOT "allow" these things to happen over and over to good, loving, and faithful people. There was no lesson to be learned, just pain. I looked around and realized that all the piles of crap in my life did not have gold nuggets inside that I would enjoy in the next life. Crap happens, and there is no rhyme or reason to it. We have to do what we can to make our life and the lives of those we love as beautiful as we can. There is no magical sky daddy who will do it for us if we are 'good'." - Jana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/
"My shelf got heavier and heavier, but I tried not to think about it. I grew up KNOWING that if we are righteous we would be blessed. And that God would not give us more trials than we could handle, and that enduring them would bring MORE blessings. But eventually I had seen one too many times when someone I love with my whole heart got kicked by life while they were already down." - Jana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/
"My shelf got heavier and heavier, but I tried not to think about it. I grew up KNOWING that if we are righteous we would be blessed. And that God would not give us more trials than we could handle, and that enduring them would bring MORE blessings. But eventually I had seen one too many times when someone I love with my whole heart got kicked by life while they were already down." - Jana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/
"It wanted me to be too many things: an obedient wife, a wonderful mother, a support to the priesthood, a leader and example for others, a spiritual giant, an unquestioning follower. It wanted me to always be happy, pretty, busy, selfless, devoted, and un-worldly. It told me to be a stay-at-home mom who cooked and baked and canned, had her food storage, knew all the right answers, prayed multiple times a day, and gave her life completely over to the Lord. I didn't want any of those things. I just wanted to figure out how to be happy with myself." - Jana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/
"It wanted me to be too many things: an obedient wife, a wonderful mother, a support to the priesthood, a leader and example for others, a spiritual giant, an unquestioning follower. It wanted me to always be happy, pretty, busy, selfless, devoted, and un-worldly. It told me to be a stay-at-home mom who cooked and baked and canned, had her food storage, knew all the right answers, prayed multiple times a day, and gave her life completely over to the Lord. I didn't want any of those things. I just wanted to figure out how to be happy with myself." - Jana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/
"As I grew older, I became less and less happy with the Mormon culture and what it wanted from me. It made me feel bad for any ways in which I wasn't "perfect". Any time I made a mistake I was angry at myself, thinking a better person would have been prompted to do things the right way. It told me that if I was truly righteous I shouldn't be suffering from depression. It surrounded me with the false smiles of people who knew nothing about me but knew what was "best" for me." - Jana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/
"As I grew older, I became less and less happy with the Mormon culture and what it wanted from me. It made me feel bad for any ways in which I wasn't "perfect". Any time I made a mistake I was angry at myself, thinking a better person would have been prompted to do things the right way. It told me that if I was truly righteous I shouldn't be suffering from depression. It surrounded me with the false smiles of people who knew nothing about me but knew what was "best" for me." - Jana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/
"Many times while I was growing up, I was challenged to pray to know The Church was true. And so I did. I was answered by silence and doubt. One time, besieged by depression and low self-worth, I spent perhaps a half hour pleading with my Heavenly Father to let me know that he loved me. I was feeling so alone and unloved, but I knew there was someone who was supposed to love me unconditionally. Again, I was answered with nothing: no still small voice, no burning bosom or even a slight warming of my heart. I put this on my shelf, and tried to tell myself that it didn't mean I wasn't loved." - Jana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/
"Many times while I was growing up, I was challenged to pray to know The Church was true. And so I did. I was answered by silence and doubt. One time, besieged by depression and low self-worth, I spent perhaps a half hour pleading with my Heavenly Father to let me know that he loved me. I was feeling so alone and unloved, but I knew there was someone who was supposed to love me unconditionally. Again, I was answered with nothing: no still small voice, no burning bosom or even a slight warming of my heart. I put this on my shelf, and tried to tell myself that it didn't mean I wasn't loved." - Jana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/
"I knew I didn't quite fit the Mormon cookie-cutter. I was sort of afraid of Mormon heaven. For one thing, I knew I would have to share my husband, with no regard for how I felt about it. I also couldn't think of a single thing I enjoyed that didn't have at least a little "worldliness" to it. And I found most church stuff to be incredibly boring. Would my brain be changed so much after I died that I wouldn't miss my books and games, and would instead love being all perfect and spiritual? How would that still be me? This thought stuck with me like a burr, making it so that I was never quite comfortable in my Mormon skin. It was the first item on my shelf." - Jana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/
"I knew I didn't quite fit the Mormon cookie-cutter. I was sort of afraid of Mormon heaven. For one thing, I knew I would have to share my husband, with no regard for how I felt about it. I also couldn't think of a single thing I enjoyed that didn't have at least a little "worldliness" to it. And I found most church stuff to be incredibly boring. Would my brain be changed so much after I died that I wouldn't miss my books and games, and would instead love being all perfect and spiritual? How would that still be me? This thought stuck with me like a burr, making it so that I was never quite comfortable in my Mormon skin. It was the first item on my shelf." - Jana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/
"I grew up in Utah. Both sides of my family were SUPER Mormon: we're talking "clutch your pearls at the very IDEA of drinking coffee or long hair on men" Mormon. I was the "perfect" daughter. I was quiet, did what I was told, kept the peace, and didn't rock the boat. I knew exactly what my future would look like: graduate high school, go to BYU, marry an RM in the temple, have 4+ kids, and go to the Celestial Kingdom when I died." - Jana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/
"I grew up in Utah. Both sides of my family were SUPER Mormon: we're talking "clutch your pearls at the very IDEA of drinking coffee or long hair on men" Mormon. I was the "perfect" daughter. I was quiet, did what I was told, kept the peace, and didn't rock the boat. I knew exactly what my future would look like: graduate high school, go to BYU, marry an RM in the temple, have 4+ kids, and go to the Celestial Kingdom when I died." - Jana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/
"I was born into the church, and believed everything I was told. It's a great feeling to think that you are special (as the Mormon Church says you are). But that feeling faded as I struggled with depression and low self-worth. The message I was constantly fed was that the Mormon Church was the only way to true happiness. If I was in it and miserable, I must be the problem. Mormonism is a tiny box to try and fit in, and pain from all the parts that didn't fit. I am a nerd with ADHD, who has found a love for critical thinking. I was a mormon." - Jana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/
"I was born into the church, and believed everything I was told. It's a great feeling to think that you are special (as the Mormon Church says you are). But that feeling faded as I struggled with depression and low self-worth. The message I was constantly fed was that the Mormon Church was the only way to true happiness. If I was in it and miserable, I must be the problem. Mormonism is a tiny box to try and fit in, and pain from all the parts that didn't fit. I am a nerd with ADHD, who has found a love for critical thinking. I was a mormon." - Jana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/exmo-in-flames/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/exmo-in-flames/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
In the meantime, I am pretending. I attend church and Young Women's activities, and try to stay quiet and compliant. In secret, I sneak out to drink coffee and joke with friends. I will make it out of this cult eventually, and I will take my life back. - Ally's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/exmo-in-flames/
In the meantime, I am pretending. I attend church and Young Women's activities, and try to stay quiet and compliant. In secret, I sneak out to drink coffee and joke with friends. I will make it out of this cult eventually, and I will take my life back. - Ally's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/exmo-in-flames/
Right now, it is not safe to come out as exmormon. When I do, I will be the first in my family to leave. However, my hope is to not be the last. By exposing the hypocrisies and harm done by the church, I might be able to put some weight on the figurative "shelves" of my parents, sibling, and extended family. - Ally's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/exmo-in-flames/
Right now, it is not safe to come out as exmormon. When I do, I will be the first in my family to leave. However, my hope is to not be the last. By exposing the hypocrisies and harm done by the church, I might be able to put some weight on the figurative "shelves" of my parents, sibling, and extended family. - Ally's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/exmo-in-flames/
It has been a year and a half since I fully deconstructed the church. It will be three more years until I can leave, and yeah, it gets pretty shitty sometimes pretending to be someone I'm not. But I have found a support system with my non-Mormon friends and with other exmos online. - Ally's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/exmo-in-flames/
It has been a year and a half since I fully deconstructed the church. It will be three more years until I can leave, and yeah, it gets pretty shitty sometimes pretending to be someone I'm not. But I have found a support system with my non-Mormon friends and with other exmos online. - Ally's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/exmo-in-flames/
I cried in my room for hours and hours one night, praying and pleading desperately for God to give me something, some sign that it was all true. There was nothing. No answer. I was alone. On that night my "shelf" had broken at only thirteen, and ever since then I have been researching the history of Mormonism and contemplating how I will escape the church once I am eighteen. - Ally's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/exmo-in-flames/
I cried in my room for hours and hours one night, praying and pleading desperately for God to give me something, some sign that it was all true. There was nothing. No answer. I was alone. On that night my "shelf" had broken at only thirteen, and ever since then I have been researching the history of Mormonism and contemplating how I will escape the church once I am eighteen. - Ally's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/exmo-in-flames/
I remember this awful hollow feeling in my chest. If the church really wasn't true, then who was I? What would happen to me? I am fifteen. My family doesn't know. I am hiding. I have been PIMO (physically in, mentally out of the church) for close to two years. - Ally's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/exmo-in-flames/
I remember this awful hollow feeling in my chest. If the church really wasn't true, then who was I? What would happen to me? I am fifteen. My family doesn't know. I am hiding. I have been PIMO (physically in, mentally out of the church) for close to two years. - Ally's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/exmo-in-flames/