Tag Archives: I Was a Mormon

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I'm happier than I have ever been. My kids are happier too. My deconstruction of Mormonism led to the deconstruction of so many other things as well: I deconstructed patriarchy and reconstructed beautiful, badass womanhood. I deconstructed homophobia and reconstructed love and full acceptance for the lgbtq community that my beautiful children are now a part of. I deconstructed abuse from my personal relationships and reconstructed boundaries of safety and respect. Deconstruction has been the most painful and rewarding, beautiful experience of my life.
I'm happier than I have ever been. My kids are happier too. My deconstruction of Mormonism led to the deconstruction of so many other things as well: I deconstructed patriarchy and reconstructed beautiful, badass womanhood. I deconstructed homophobia and reconstructed love and full acceptance for the lgbtq community that my beautiful children are now a part of. I deconstructed abuse from my personal relationships and reconstructed boundaries of safety and respect. Deconstruction has been the most painful and rewarding, beautiful experience of my life.
Shortly after that feeling of peace and love from God in the temple, I watched General Conference and I was filled with fear about the spiritual and physical safety of my family, and frustration that my spouse gave up, and now it was all on me to keep my kids safely in the church. I was angry towards him, but then I remembered the feeling of peace and love I received from God, and I paused. I thought it was odd that the message of love/peace is what I received from God, and the message of fear is what I received from my leaders.
Shortly after that feeling of peace and love from God in the temple, I watched General Conference and I was filled with fear about the spiritual and physical safety of my family, and frustration that my spouse gave up, and now it was all on me to keep my kids safely in the church. I was angry towards him, but then I remembered the feeling of peace and love I received from God, and I paused. I thought it was odd that the message of love/peace is what I received from God, and the message of fear is what I received from my leaders.
I was excited when the new church history came out. I was surprised to hear a different version of church history than what I was raised with. I put myself in the shoes of the Saints and wondered if I were them, would I have accepted the church? To my own surprise, I admitted to myself that I probably would not have joined because it sounded a lot like a religious cult.
I was excited when the new church history came out. I was surprised to hear a different version of church history than what I was raised with. I put myself in the shoes of the Saints and wondered if I were them, would I have accepted the church? To my own surprise, I admitted to myself that I probably would not have joined because it sounded a lot like a religious cult.
Joseph Smith is my great, great, great grandfather, though these days I prefer to claim Emma because she's a badass... When I deconstructed Mormonism, I remember deconstructing Joseph Smith and all of the things I learned at once: he was dishonest, a con-man, a treasure digger, a polygamist, he coerced women and teens to marry him, and he was a narcissist. The Mormon in me was in disbelief, but the Smith in me recognized my father in Joseph Smith immediately.
Joseph Smith is my great, great, great grandfather, though these days I prefer to claim Emma because she's a badass... When I deconstructed Mormonism, I remember deconstructing Joseph Smith and all of the things I learned at once: he was dishonest, a con-man, a treasure digger, a polygamist, he coerced women and teens to marry him, and he was a narcissist. The Mormon in me was in disbelief, but the Smith in me recognized my father in Joseph Smith immediately.
"It led me to realize that the church leaders DO NOT speak for the god that I believed in at the time. I could see that god would never treat the lgbtq community the way the mormon leaders do and would never make me choose between church and my child." https://wasmormon.org/profile/queerexmo30/
"It led me to realize that the church leaders DO NOT speak for the god that I believed in at the time. I could see that god would never treat the lgbtq community the way the mormon leaders do and would never make me choose between church and my child." https://wasmormon.org/profile/queerexmo30/