Jim Palmer, a former pastor turned spiritual critic and trauma-informed coach, outlines 16 stark observations in his piece How to Let Religion Sabotage Your Life. For those deconstructing Mormonism, these steps feel less like satire and more like a checklist of lived experience: 1. Begin with the premise that there is something hopelessly and incurably …
Tag Archives: identity
LDS Leadership on Appearances: “Put on a little lipstick,” “Even a barn looks better painted”
Sexism, Patriarchy, and the Lingering Legacy of Polygamy in the LDS Church Two statements made by high-ranking LDS church leaders reveal more than just outdated social attitudes—they expose the deeply entrenched gender roles and patriarchal frameworks that continue to shape the church’s view of women. In a devotional, President David O. McKay once said, “Even …
Shifting Visions of God: Unpacking Mormonism’s Developing Theology Through Joseph Smith’s First Vision Accounts
Joseph Smith’s various accounts of the First Vision provide a window into his evolving theology, particularly regarding the nature of the Godhead. The changes in each version, when looked at as a narrative through a lens to understand the thinking of church leadership at the time, show ideas developing and how these changing ideas were …
Renlund’s Boat Parable – Showcase of Demonizing Doubters and Dismissing Concerns
In 2019, both Dale G. Renlund, LDS Apostle, and his wife, Ruth L. Renlund, gave a talk at a Worldwide devotional from BYU-Hawaii. They shared a colorful parable to marginalize and blame doubters for their struggles with the church’s false truth claims. They claimed to be prompted to share this message and that they’d been …
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Mary Was a Mormon, an Ex-Mormon Profile Spotlight
Mary Kathryn’s journey out of Mormonism is one of transformation, resilience, and self-discovery. A devoted believer, she followed the prescribed path—attending BYU, marrying young, and having eight children by age 35. She dedicated herself fully to the faith, shaping her identity around the church’s teachings on womanhood, family, and service. However, as life unfolded—with personal …
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The Stages of Grief When Your Shelf Breaks
Losing one’s testimony is a deeply painful experience, tragically affecting both the individual and the community. Faithful members mourn the loss of a fellow believer, viewing it as a defeat or a sign of weakness—someone who will now be cast aside like chaff from the wheat. But the greatest hardship falls on the individual. They …
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Jacob Was a Mormon, an Ex-Mormon Profile Spotlight
Jacob’s journey out of Mormonism is one of self-discovery, questioning, and, ultimately, liberation. Born into a deeply entrenched Mormon lineage tracing back to Wilford Woodruff, Jacob was raised to be a devoted member of the church, participating in seminary and Boy Scouts and striving to live by the commandments. However, from a young age, he …
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Distorted Reality
Religious zealotry distorts reality by imposing rigid, dogmatic worldviews that demand absolute obedience. High-demand religions, like Mormonism, instill a black-and-white perspective where faithfulness equates to righteousness, and doubt or dissent signals moral failure. This absolutism fosters an “us vs. them” mentality, making it nearly impossible for devout believers to see those who leave as anything …
Bennet Was a Mormon, an Ex-Mormon Profile Spotlight
Bennet grew up in a strict Mormon household, deeply immersed in the faith from an early age. With church activities filling nearly every day of the week, Bennet was constantly surrounded by the teachings and expectations of Mormonism. Yet, despite his efforts to be a faithful believer, he struggled with overwhelming anxiety and an ever-present …
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How To Leave the Mormon Church
There are many reasons someone might decide to quit the Mormon Church, often stemming from a deep desire for authenticity, integrity, and personal freedom. For some, the decision arises after discovering inconsistencies in the church’s foundational narratives, such as the lack of evidence for the Book of Mormon or the troubling aspects of Joseph Smith’s …
Brooklyn Was a Mormon, an Ex-Mormon Profile Spotlight
Brooklyn’s Mormon story is one of awakening, self-discovery, and courage. Growing up in a small ward in St. Louis and later navigating the tightly knit Mormon culture at BYU and beyond, she experienced the deeply ingrained patterns of self-criticism that the Church often encourages. These patterns, cloaked in the guise of humility and self-improvement, led …
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Plato’s Allegory of the Cave
Plato’s Allegory of the Cave serves as a timeless metaphor for the journey from ignorance to knowledge and truth. It parallels the experience of leaving Mormonism in profound ways. Just as the freed prisoner emerges into the light, grappling with the shock of a broader reality, those who leave the church often confront unsettling truths …
Gender in Terrestrial & Telestial Kingdoms or The TK Smoothie
Joseph Fielding Smith taught in his definitive Doctrines of Salvation that only celestial resurrected individuals will be able to procreate. He clarifies that individuals in the Telestial Kingdom would lack male or female genitalia, contrasting with those in the Celestial Kingdom, who would retain their reproductive organs for eternal procreation. This doctrine of salvation led …
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David Was a Mormon, an Ex-Mormon Profile Spotlight
For decades, David’s life was deeply intertwined with the church, even to the point of serving as a bishop—a significant position of spiritual and administrative leadership. However, 12 years ago, his life took a courageous turn when he disclosed to his wife and children that he is gay. This revelation set David on a path …
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Brigham Young on Being Offended
Brigham Young allegedly said that those who take offense are fools, when the offense was not intended, and those who take offense when intended are even bigger fools… Brigham Young’s quote suggests that taking offense is a choice that reflects a lack of wisdom, whether the offense was intended or not. He seems to advocate …
Mormon Means ‘More Good’
The Crusade Against Mormon Monicker The Mormon (LDS) church has been up in arms recently about what to call itself. Or more specifically what others are allowed to call it. Leaders are pushing to remove the Mormon moniker, and only use the full name of the church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, …
Corey Was a Mormon, an Ex-Mormon Profile Spotlight
Corey’s journey from a devout member of the Mormon Church to an individual outside its walls is a powerful example of courage, intellectual honesty, and the pursuit of truth and genuine faith. Raised in southern Idaho within a large Mormon family, Corey was deeply woven into the fabric of the Church. His identity, values, community, …
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Stephanie Was a Mormon, an Ex-Mormon Profile Spotlight
Stephanie grew up deeply immersed in the Mormon faith, believing that following the Church’s teachings would lead her to salvation. She dedicated herself to the Church from an early age, participating in youth activities, serving a mission in Colorado, and eventually marrying in the temple. But underneath the commitment, Stephanie carried a secret: since she …
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What is Cognitive Dissonance?
Cognitive dissonance occurs when a person experiences discomfort due to holding conflicting beliefs, attitudes, or behaviors. To reduce this discomfort, individuals often try to reconcile these inconsistencies, either by changing their beliefs, justifying their actions, or avoiding information that exacerbates the conflict. Leon Festinger Social psychologist Leon Festinger coined the term “cognitive dissonance” in the 1950s in …
The BITE Model to Cults from Dr Steven Hassan
Steven Hassan Dr. Steven Hassan is a prominent mental health professional, author, and advocate known for his expertise in cults and undue influence. Having experienced firsthand the effects of mind control and manipulation as a former member of the Unification Church (commonly known as the Moonies), Dr. Hassan has dedicated his life to helping individuals …
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Ally Was a Mormon, an Ex-Mormon Profile Spotlight
Ally is a brave young woman navigating the difficult path of deconstructing her faith while still within her devout Mormon family. Diagnosed with severe anxiety at twelve, Ally’s struggles were compounded by the pressures of her religious upbringing. At thirteen, she began questioning the beliefs she’d been taught, and her journey led her to a …
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Savi Was a Mormon, an Ex-Mormon Profile Spotlight
Meet Savi, whose journey out of Mormonism was a profound exploration of self-liberation and authenticity. Raised in a devout Mormon family and entrenched in a community steeped in faith, Savi’s departure from the faith was driven by the suffocating pressure to conform to rigid religious standards and the toll it took on her mental and …
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LDS Church On Same-Sex Marriages
The Mormon church is famously (or infamously) known for not allowing or supporting same-sex relationships or marriages. There is a trail of history showing the church to be opposed to honoring same-sex couples in society. They vehemently opposed Prop 8, and mobilized membership to work on continuing to outlaw same-sex marriages in the state of …
Grace Was a Mormon, an Ex-Mormon Profile Spotlight
Grace’s journey out of the Mormon church was marked by profound personal struggle and self-discovery. From a young age, she grappled with her identity as a gay individual in a religious environment that condemned her very existence. Raised in the Mormon faith, she internalized the belief that her sexuality was sinful and spent years attempting …
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The Mormon-Canadian-BYU Billion Dollar Tithing Funnel
![The church is taking away the government's ability to fund health care, and education, and provide other essential services. They've done it at the expense of taxpayer dollars. There's definitely been a change in [my] perspective. The church teaches that the temple should always be a focal point in your life. The temple has become a physical reminder of greed for me. - Nigel Kennet, a Canadian accountant, was working on the books of a church of a different faith, when he saw how much their members gave to charity. So, he looked into the Mormon's books, and was stunned by where their donations were going. - The Fifth Estate, October 27, 2022 | wasmormon.org](https://i0.wp.com/wasmormon.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/canada-5th-estate-Nigel-Kennet-church-taking-away-government-ability-to-fund-essential-services-temple-has-become-a-reminder-of-greed.jpg?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1)
Investigation reveals more than $1 billion raised by the Mormon church in Canada has been funneled to the U.S. rather than going to charitable works in this country. We hear from former members in Canada and elsewhere who say concerns about how money is spent have led them to leave the church. – The Fifth …
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Lilik Was a Mormon, an Ex-Mormon Profile Spotlight
Growing up in Indonesia within a Muslim community, Lilik navigated poverty and familial expectations from a young age, leaving school at 14 and working as a nanny away from home, in Singapore, and later in Hong Kong. Amidst the challenges of her early years, Lilik’s encounter with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints …
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Veronika Was a Mormon, an Ex-Mormon Profile Spotlight
Veronika’s faith journey from a Mormon to an agnostic secular humanist shows personal evolution and intellectual transformation. Growing up in Utah, she was the first in her immediate family to step away from the LDS Church. Initially embracing the conviction that living the gospel would lead to a happy life, Veronika grappled with the church’s …
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Kevin Was a Mormon, an Ex-Mormon Profile Spotlight
Kevin’s journey is a touching story about resilience, identity, and being a gay man in the context of Mormonism. With deep ties to handcart pioneers and a family history linked to Joseph Smith, Kevin experienced the challenges of being a gay Mormon in a community struggling to understand. His turning point, voting for gay marriage …
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Shane Was a Mormon, an Ex-Mormon Profile Spotlight
Shane’s journey unfolds as a poignant narrative of resilience, love, and profound self-discovery within the intricate tapestry of faith, family, and personal identity. A stalwart member of the LDS Church, Shane’s commitment to his beliefs and his family is evident in every chapter of his life. From the vibrant memories of a South Korean mission …
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Baxter Was a Mormon, an Ex-Mormon Profile Spotlight
Baxter, a talented artist and trans man, reflects on his journey out of Mormonism with a commitment to authenticity and respect for diversity. Raised in the Mormon faith, Baxter initially found himself uninterested in church because there were other places he’d rather be on Sunday. However, as he delved into researching the problematic aspects of …
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