![“[A woman] was contemplating a temple marriage to a man whose eternal companion had died. She would be a second wife. She asked this question: would she be able to have her own house in the next life, or would she have to live with her husband and his first wife? I just told her to trust the Lord... You should be worried about whether you will get to [kingdom of glory]. Concentrate on that. If you get there, all of it will be more wonderful than you can imagine.” - Dallin H. Oaks, LDS Apostle, “Trust in the Lord”, October 2019 | wasmormon.org](https://i0.wp.com/wasmormon.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/Dallin-H-Oaks-second-wives-of-eternal-polygamy-just-trust-the-lord-worry-about-get-to-heaven-will-be-more-wonderful-than-you-can-imagine.jpg?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1)
In a 2019 talk, Dallin H. Oaks—apostle and current First Counselor in the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints—responded to a question that hits at the heart of the legacy peculiar Mormon doctrine of plural marriage, especially for women today: If a woman marries a widower sealed to his first …
Tag Archives: shame
Bishop Warren S. Snow’s Teenage Brides and The Castration of Thomas Lewis
In 1857, just as tensions with the U.S. government were escalating toward the Utah War, a dark and largely forgotten episode of Mormon frontier justice played out in Manti, Utah. It involved a young man named Thomas Lewis, potentially an unnamed teenage girl, and Warren S. Snow, a high-ranking Mormon bishop and militia leader. What …
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Joseph Smith on Slavery
In recent years, LDS apostle Quentin L. Cook has claimed that early members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints were persecuted because they were abolitionists and anti-slavery. Today leaders promote the narrative that latter-day saints of the day were driven out of Missouri in significant part because they were opposed to slavery. …
Green Flake, The Man and Slave Labor The Church Accepted as Tithing
Today, the LDS Church no longer condones slavery, and leaders assert that the church has always been against slavery and racism, but there is a hidden history of racism and even slavery in the church. There are even instances where slaves were given as tithing to the church—the church used slave labor in temple construction. Green Flake …
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Can Mormons Wear Tank Tops? What are Porn Shoulders?
In Mormonism, modesty has long been tied to righteousness, especially for women and girls. From early youth activities to temple preparation, countless lessons reinforce the idea that spiritual worth is directly connected to how much skin is covered. Among the most scrutinized body parts? Shoulders. For generations, sleeveless dresses have been seen as taboo—unworthy of …
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Oaks, On Young Women Becoming Pornography
LDS Apostle Dallin H. Oaks spoke to the global church about pornography. He warned that pornography was evil, that it “impairs one’s ability to enjoy a normal emotional, romantic, and spiritual relationship with a person,” and “erodes the moral barriers that stand against inappropriate, abnormal, or illegal behavior,” and patrons find their “conscience is desensitized” …
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Lance Was a Mormon, an Ex-Mormon Profile Spotlight
A journey from orthodoxy to authenticity, Lance grew up in a large, orthodox Mormon family—the seventh of eleven children—and was fully committed to the faith he was raised in. From serving a full-time mission in Wisconsin, marrying in the temple, and raising a young family, to holding multiple leadership callings, Lance did everything the church …
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Irony of Mormon Church Complaining of Bigoted Marriage Laws
![“The laws against the plurality of wives, we believe to be unconstitutional, growing out of the narrow-contracted bigoted customs of Apostate Christianity. If the [saints] wish to enjoy the privileges granted by the word God, and by the glorious Constitution of our National Republic, let them depart from under the jurisdiction if these illiberal State laws, and go to Utah where religious liberty is tolerated, and where every people and sect have the right to worship please, and marry as many wives as they please.” - Orson Pratt, LDS Apostle, The Seer (1853) Criticizing "bigoted" monogamous marriage laws forbidding his preferred plural marriage. wasmormon.org](https://i0.wp.com/wasmormon.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/Orson-Pratt-laws-against-plurality-of-wives-unconstitutional-narrow-contracted-bigoted-customs-go-to-Utah-where-people-have-the-right-to-marry-as-many-wives-as-they-please.jpg?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1)
Remember that time when Mormons called out marriage laws for being narrow-minded, bigoted laws. The Mormon church complained about laws that defined marriage as between one man and one woman. This was in the days of plural marriage, so in other words, these laws were against Polygamy and the plurality of wives. They called them …
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How to Let Religion Sabotage Your Life: A Deconstructing Mormon Perspective on Jim Palmer’s 16 Steps
Jim Palmer, a former pastor turned spiritual critic and trauma-informed coach, outlines 16 stark observations in his piece How to Let Religion Sabotage Your Life. For those deconstructing Mormonism, these steps feel less like satire and more like a checklist of lived experience: 1. Begin with the premise that there is something hopelessly and incurably …
LDS Leadership on Appearances: “Put on a little lipstick,” “Even a barn looks better painted”
Sexism, Patriarchy, and the Lingering Legacy of Polygamy in the LDS Church Two statements made by high-ranking LDS church leaders reveal more than just outdated social attitudes—they expose the deeply entrenched gender roles and patriarchal frameworks that continue to shape the church’s view of women. In a devotional, President David O. McKay once said, “Even …
Tithing is About Money, Not Faith, Obedience, Loyalty, or Sacrifice
Tithing is a fundamental doctrine in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church), requiring members to contribute 10% of their income to the Church. It is framed as a commandment from God, essential for spiritual growth, obedience, and blessings. Paying a full tithe is also a requirement for temple access, making it …
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Kendall Was a Mormon, an Ex-Mormon Profile Spotlight
Kendall grew up in a loving LDS family in Texas, embracing his faith because he had no reason to question it. Like many devout members, he served a mission, married in the church, and dedicated himself to his callings. But beneath the surface, troubling questions about church history, doctrine, and racist teachings gnawed at him. …
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Church Adjusts Correlated Children Lesson on Polygamy
In December 2024, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) released a children’s lesson supporting the polygamous history of the church as a hard commandment the leaders and members were blessed for following, even though they did not want to. Then in February 2025, the church updated the lesson to remove some …
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Would You Die For The Church?
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland illustrates the extreme, manipulative, and abusive expectations that LDS leadership places on its members—especially young missionaries. He spoke at the MTC to all missionaries in training in 2001. He set the expectation that serving a mission for the church, the church “wants you to run all the way, every day, every …
Church Indoctrination Is The Goal
Spencer W. Kimball, LDS Church President from 1973–1985. He gave an address soon after becoming the church president at a Regional Representatives Seminar where he asked for indoctrination. While the term “indoctrination” may seem neutral in some contexts, its use here is a red flag, suggesting a deliberate effort to mold individuals into unwavering adherents …
Better Dead Clean, Than Alive Unclean
Bruce R. McConkie’s statement in Mormon Doctrine—”Loss of virtue is too great a price to pay even for the preservation of one’s life—better dead clean, than alive unclean”—is deeply problematic and reflects harmful ideologies surrounding purity culture. By equating virtue exclusively with chastity and suggesting that death is preferable to “uncleanness” (interpreted as loss of …
Mormons Expected to Stand Forever – Despite Questions
Church leader Lawrence E. Corbridge, an LDS Seventy, gave a BYU Devotional that addresses how to properly deal with questions. Corbridge explains that he’s read all the anti-Mormon literature out there, but was successfully able to put all his questions on the shelf because he was able to convince himself that his questions don’t matter …
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Tithing—a Commandment Even for the Destitute
Lynn G. Robbins, LDS Seventy and Elder, spoke at General Conference in April 2005. He emphasizes that even the poorest members of the Mormon Church should pay tithing, regardless of their financial hardship. While Robbins likely intended to encourage strong faith and commitment, his approach creates a predatory framework that pressures the financially vulnerable into …
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Kathy Was a Mormon, an Ex-Mormon Profile Spotlight
Kathy’s journey is a powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the courage it takes to walk away from a faith that has defined so much of one’s life. Raised in the Mormon church, Kathy’s early years were marked by the expectations of religious conformity, deep-rooted shame, and a sense of never …
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The Church and Victim Blaming Victims of Abuse
Victim blaming occurs when the victim of a crime or harmful action is held partially or fully responsible for what happened to them. This mindset shifts the blame away from the perpetrator and can further harm the victim by suggesting they could have prevented the incident. Church leaders and materials are known to place blame …
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Mormonism and The BITE Model
Determining whether The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (commonly known as the Mormon Church) qualifies as a cult hinges on various criteria. According to the BITE model, we find evidence that it meets several characteristics associated with cults. Note that the term “cult” carries negative connotations and lacks a universally agreed-upon definition, and …
The BITE Model to Cults from Dr Steven Hassan
Steven Hassan Dr. Steven Hassan is a prominent mental health professional, author, and advocate known for his expertise in cults and undue influence. Having experienced firsthand the effects of mind control and manipulation as a former member of the Unification Church (commonly known as the Moonies), Dr. Hassan has dedicated his life to helping individuals …
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Kevin W. Pearson, Holy Ghost Not Active For Doubters or Apostates
Salt Lake Area held a YSA conference where they also held a speed dating event which set a new world record for the number of people at a speed dating event (at 2,060). After receiving the award, Elder Pearson gave the keynote address to the YSA conference attendees. Kevin Pearson described three types of people: …
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Elevation and Other Elevated Emotions
Many people who have left the church report still feeling the “spirit” just as they did when they were active members. This feeling is linked to a phenomenon called “Elevation Emotion,” which is well-researched and associated with positive emotions like gratitude and admiration. Researchers can reliably induce this feeling, often described as a warm sensation …
Olivia Was a Mormon, an Ex-Mormon Profile Spotlight
Raised in a devout Mormon family in Utah, Olivia spent the better part of her life immersed in the teachings and traditions of the church. However, even from a young age, she found herself at odds with certain aspects of her faith, grappling with feelings of doubt and discontent. Despite her initial rebellion during her …
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Rosanna Was a Mormon, an Ex-Mormon Profile Spotlight
Growing up in Utah within a devout Mormon family, Rosana inherited her parents’ beliefs but soon found herself grappling with the suffocating pressures of conformity and cultural expectations. Despite her upbringing in a community steeped in faith, Rosana’s experience with church rituals and teachings left her feeling disconnected and disillusioned. The rigid standards imposed by …
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The Mormon-Canadian-BYU Billion Dollar Tithing Funnel
![The church is taking away the government's ability to fund health care, and education, and provide other essential services. They've done it at the expense of taxpayer dollars. There's definitely been a change in [my] perspective. The church teaches that the temple should always be a focal point in your life. The temple has become a physical reminder of greed for me. - Nigel Kennet, a Canadian accountant, was working on the books of a church of a different faith, when he saw how much their members gave to charity. So, he looked into the Mormon's books, and was stunned by where their donations were going. - The Fifth Estate, October 27, 2022 | wasmormon.org](https://i0.wp.com/wasmormon.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/canada-5th-estate-Nigel-Kennet-church-taking-away-government-ability-to-fund-essential-services-temple-has-become-a-reminder-of-greed.jpg?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1)
Investigation reveals more than $1 billion raised by the Mormon church in Canada has been funneled to the U.S. rather than going to charitable works in this country. We hear from former members in Canada and elsewhere who say concerns about how money is spent have led them to leave the church. – The Fifth …
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McConkie Got It Wrong – Redacted Mormon Doctrine
!["There are statements in our literature by the early brethren which we have interpreted to mean that the Negroes would not receive the priesthood in mortality. I have said the same things, and people write me letters and say, "You said such and such, and how is it now that we do such and such?" And all I can say to that is that it is time disbelieving people repented and got in line and believed in a living, modern prophet. Forget everything that I have said, or what President Brigham Young or whomsoever has said in days past that is contrary to the present revelation... [All the views and all the thoughts of the past] don't matter any more... It doesn't make a particle of difference what anybody ever said about the Negro matter before the first day of June of this year." - LDS Apostle, Bruce R. McConkie, BYU Devotional 1978 | wasmormon.org](https://i0.wp.com/wasmormon.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/mormon-doctrine-it-doesnt-make-a-particle-of-difference-what-anybody-ever-said-about-blacks.jpg?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1)
Prior to 1978, LDS church leaders wrestled to understand the priesthood ban. They listened to explanations from Brigham Young and other church presidents who taught about the subject. They continued teaching the same things, and in some cases came up with new explanations. That changed in 1978, when the church flipped a 180 and granted …
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Church Leaders on Power and Authority Broadly Given To Women
During the Worldwide Relief Society Devotional and Testimony Meeting on March 17, 2024, President Russell M. Nelson and the Relief Society General Presidency spoke to the members of the Relief Society and Young Women. The event was a 40-minute video production. The remarkable part is the claim J. Anette Dennis, First Counselor in the Relief Society …
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What is ‘Letter For My Wife’
Letter For My Wife is a document aggregating questions and doubts about the Mormon church written by a questioning Mormon to his wife. The letter is meant to discuss the questions and concerns with the church’s truth claims or truth crisis and this man’s testimony. The letter was started as a document in 2009, when …