Tag Archives: shame

Painful feeling of humiliation. Church culture around sexuality is criticized for creating shame.

A Loving God?

When deconstructing religious beliefs, examining whether the God we’ve been taught to worship and admire is indeed as loving as we think is on the table for many. Christianity teaches that “God is Love,” but examining scriptural narratives reveals inconsistencies in this portrayal, especially concerning God’s actions as a parental figure. Here are several examples …

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Trust Us—We Don’t Know: Dallin H. Oaks, Polygamy, and the Promise of Mormon Heaven

In a 2019 talk, Dallin H. Oaks—apostle and current First Counselor in the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints—responded to a question that hits at the heart of the legacy peculiar Mormon doctrine of plural marriage, especially for women today: If a woman marries a widower sealed to his first …

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Bishop Warren S. Snow’s Teenage Brides and The Castration of Thomas Lewis

In 1857, just as tensions with the U.S. government were escalating toward the Utah War, a dark and largely forgotten episode of Mormon frontier justice played out in Manti, Utah. It involved a young man named Thomas Lewis, potentially an unnamed teenage girl, and Warren S. Snow, a high-ranking Mormon bishop and militia leader. What …

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“After having expressed myself so freely upon this subject, I do not doubt but those who have been forward in raising their voice against the South, will cry out against me as being uncharitable, unfeeling and unkind—wholly unacquainted with the gospel of Christ. It is my privilege then, to name certain passages from the bible, and examine the teachings of the ancients upon this matter, as the fact is uncontrovertable, that the first mention we have of slavery is found in the holy bible, pronounced by a man who was perfect in his generation and walked with God. And so far from that prediction’s being averse from the mind of God it remains as a lasting monument of the decree of Jehovah, to the shame and confusion of all who have cried out against the South, in consequence of their holding the sons of Ham in servitude!” - Joseph Smith, Letter to Oliver Cowdery, April 9, 1836 | wasmormon.org
“After having expressed myself so freely upon this subject, I do not doubt but those who have been forward in raising their voice against the South, will cry out against me as being uncharitable, unfeeling and unkind—wholly unacquainted with the gospel of Christ. It is my privilege then, to name certain passages from the bible, and examine the teachings of the ancients upon this matter, as the fact is uncontrovertable, that the first mention we have of slavery is found in the holy bible, pronounced by a man who was perfect in his generation and walked with God. And so far from that prediction’s being averse from the mind of God it remains as a lasting monument of the decree of Jehovah, to the shame and confusion of all who have cried out against the South, in consequence of their holding the sons of Ham in servitude!” - Joseph Smith, Letter to Oliver Cowdery, April 9, 1836

Joseph Smith on Slavery

In recent years, LDS apostle Quentin L. Cook has claimed that early members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints were persecuted because they were abolitionists and anti-slavery. Today leaders promote the narrative that latter-day saints of the day were driven out of Missouri in significant part because they were opposed to slavery. …

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Green Flake, The Man and Slave Labor The Church Accepted as Tithing

Today, the LDS Church no longer condones slavery, and leaders assert that the church has always been against slavery and racism, but there is a hidden history of racism and even slavery in the church. There are even instances where slaves were given as tithing to the church—the church used slave labor in temple construction. Green Flake …

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Can Mormons Wear Tank Tops? What are Porn Shoulders?

In Mormonism, modesty has long been tied to righteousness, especially for women and girls. From early youth activities to temple preparation, countless lessons reinforce the idea that spiritual worth is directly connected to how much skin is covered. Among the most scrutinized body parts? Shoulders. For generations, sleeveless dresses have been seen as taboo—unworthy of …

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I’m still the only one in my immediate family who has left the church. My parents believe I’m doomed and that I’ve doomed my children to eternal unhappiness. However, I’m more at peace now in life than I’ve ever been. I’m so happy we left the church and glad my children will not grow up with the same guilt and shame I experienced as a member just trying their best. - https://wasmormon.org/profile/lanceallenclark/
I’m still the only one in my immediate family who has left the church. My parents believe I’m doomed and that I’ve doomed my children to eternal unhappiness. However, I’m more at peace now in life than I’ve ever been. I’m so happy we left the church and glad my children will not grow up with the same guilt and shame I experienced as a member just trying their best. - https://wasmormon.org/profile/lanceallenclark/

How to Let Religion Sabotage Your Life: A Deconstructing Mormon Perspective on Jim Palmer’s 16 Steps

Jim Palmer, a former pastor turned spiritual critic and trauma-informed coach, outlines 16 stark observations in his piece How to Let Religion Sabotage Your Life. For those deconstructing Mormonism, these steps feel less like satire and more like a checklist of lived experience: 1. Begin with the premise that there is something hopelessly and incurably …

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LDS Leadership on Appearances: “Put on a little lipstick,” “Even a barn looks better painted”

Sexism, Patriarchy, and the Lingering Legacy of Polygamy in the LDS Church Two statements made by high-ranking LDS church leaders reveal more than just outdated social attitudes—they expose the deeply entrenched gender roles and patriarchal frameworks that continue to shape the church’s view of women. In a devotional, President David O. McKay once said, “Even …

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Would You Die For The Church?

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland illustrates the extreme, manipulative, and abusive expectations that LDS leadership places on its members—especially young missionaries. He spoke at the MTC to all missionaries in training in 2001. He set the expectation that serving a mission for the church, the church “wants you to run all the way, every day, every …

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Church Indoctrination Is The Goal

Spencer W. Kimball, LDS Church President from 1973–1985. He gave an address soon after becoming the church president at a Regional Representatives Seminar where he asked for indoctrination. While the term “indoctrination” may seem neutral in some contexts, its use here is a red flag, suggesting a deliberate effort to mold individuals into unwavering adherents …

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Better Dead Clean, Than Alive Unclean

Bruce R. McConkie’s statement in Mormon Doctrine—”Loss of virtue is too great a price to pay even for the preservation of one’s life—better dead clean, than alive unclean”—is deeply problematic and reflects harmful ideologies surrounding purity culture. By equating virtue exclusively with chastity and suggesting that death is preferable to “uncleanness” (interpreted as loss of …

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Mormonism and The BITE Model

Determining whether The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (commonly known as the Mormon Church) qualifies as a cult hinges on various criteria. According to the BITE model, we find evidence that it meets several characteristics associated with cults. Note that the term “cult” carries negative connotations and lacks a universally agreed-upon definition, and …

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Rosanna Was a Mormon, an Ex-Mormon Profile Spotlight

Growing up in Utah within a devout Mormon family, Rosana inherited her parents’ beliefs but soon found herself grappling with the suffocating pressures of conformity and cultural expectations. Despite her upbringing in a community steeped in faith, Rosana’s experience with church rituals and teachings left her feeling disconnected and disillusioned. The rigid standards imposed by …

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