Tag Archives: I Was a Mormon

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"I felt so sad, angry and disappointed at the same time. I cried for hours. Did I really just wasted 3 years of my life? Did I really believed in something, that is full of lies and intrigue? And yes, I did. And this understanding hurt me so deep. My Faith was a house of cards which floor by floor, slowly collapsed with every new TRUE thing I learned about the Church." – Tim wasmormon.org
"I felt so sad, angry and disappointed at the same time. I cried for hours. Did I really just wasted 3 years of my life? Did I really believed in something, that is full of lies and intrigue? And yes, I did. And this understanding hurt me so deep. My Faith was a house of cards which floor by floor, slowly collapsed with every new TRUE thing I learned about the Church." – Tim wasmormon.org
"I somehow always knew that I am gay. But because I got in touch with the Church I thought that this is a sin and that I need to repent. So I started to hide it and tried so ignore my feelings for other guys. Also in my time of investigating the Church for almost two years I got in touch with problematic topics and all the criticism against the Church. But I did exactly the same; I ignored it and often said that these things are all made up to harm the Church." – Tim wasmormon.org
"I somehow always knew that I am gay. But because I got in touch with the Church I thought that this is a sin and that I need to repent. So I started to hide it and tried so ignore my feelings for other guys. Also in my time of investigating the Church for almost two years I got in touch with problematic topics and all the criticism against the Church. But I did exactly the same; I ignored it and often said that these things are all made up to harm the Church." – Tim wasmormon.org
"I am from Germany. I started to hang around with the missionaries and talked with them for hours about the Church and its doctrine. I wanted to get baptized at 16 but I needed to ask my mother for her agreement. She said no – I got baptized 5 days after my 18th birthday. I never had doubts. I was a very firm member without looking left or right. I fully believed in everything the Church teaches. I joined Mormonism, ignoring that I am gay. I was a Mormon." – Tim wasmormon.org
"I am from Germany. I started to hang around with the missionaries and talked with them for hours about the Church and its doctrine. I wanted to get baptized at 16 but I needed to ask my mother for her agreement. She said no – I got baptized 5 days after my 18th birthday. I never had doubts. I was a very firm member without looking left or right. I fully believed in everything the Church teaches. I joined Mormonism, ignoring that I am gay. I was a Mormon." – Tim wasmormon.org
"All the members I talked to, didn't really care about my concerns and doubts. They simply said I should not read 'Anti-Mormon' literature and that I should ignore these things. But I cannot ignore facts and science. I cannot ignore how the Church treats members of the LGBTQ Community. And I can and will not ever ignore and be silent about the hundreds of lies, the leaders of the Church tell it's members." – Tim wasmormon.org
"All the members I talked to, didn't really care about my concerns and doubts. They simply said I should not read 'Anti-Mormon' literature and that I should ignore these things. But I cannot ignore facts and science. I cannot ignore how the Church treats members of the LGBTQ Community. And I can and will not ever ignore and be silent about the hundreds of lies, the leaders of the Church tell it's members." – Tim wasmormon.org
"In the time where did "sinful things" in the eyes of the Church, I got my calling in the Elder's Quorum. From that point I, knew that all this is nothing about inspiration, but just how you look on the outside. I wondered; Is it really that easy to deceive God, or is it just deceiving men? I lost my testimony of the Priesthood." – Tim wasmormon.org
"In the time where did "sinful things" in the eyes of the Church, I got my calling in the Elder's Quorum. From that point I, knew that all this is nothing about inspiration, but just how you look on the outside. I wondered; Is it really that easy to deceive God, or is it just deceiving men? I lost my testimony of the Priesthood." – Tim wasmormon.org
"But I met a boy. We had a wonderful time. I felt that this is what I always really wanted. This relationship between two boys, is nothing sinful or bad. But I was hiding it, because I was scared that the Members would start to hate me. That they would start trying to make me straight and that they would tell me that I am a dirty sinner. I came to the conclusion that denying the love of human beings is the worst thing someone could do." – Tim wasmormon.org
"But I met a boy. We had a wonderful time. I felt that this is what I always really wanted. This relationship between two boys, is nothing sinful or bad. But I was hiding it, because I was scared that the Members would start to hate me. That they would start trying to make me straight and that they would tell me that I am a dirty sinner. I came to the conclusion that denying the love of human beings is the worst thing someone could do." – Tim wasmormon.org
"I began my deep dive. The more I read or listened, the worse the church sounded. It soon became apparent to me that not only was the church not "true", it wasn't even remotely "good". It was founded by a power hungry sex predator with a long history of being a con-artist. It holds bigoted and racist views. It caters to right-wing violent extremists. It breeds sexism and misogyny. It protects and enables abusers and predators. It fights against equal rights for the LGBTQ community. It hoards money, exploits tax loopholes, and lies about how its finances are being spent. " - Andrew | wasmormon.org
"I began my deep dive. The more I read or listened, the worse the church sounded. It soon became apparent to me that not only was the church not "true", it wasn't even remotely "good". It was founded by a power hungry sex predator with a long history of being a con-artist. It holds bigoted and racist views. It caters to right-wing violent extremists. It breeds sexism and misogyny. It protects and enables abusers and predators. It fights against equal rights for the LGBTQ community. It hoards money, exploits tax loopholes, and lies about how its finances are being spent. " - Andrew | wasmormon.org
"I eventually got married in the temple, started a family and a career, and continued my activity in the church. I attended church, kept my temple recommend active, filled my callings, paid tithing, read scriptures, and prayed regularly. But I never got anything that confirmed the church to me. Didn't make sense to me. Eventually stuff like this led to me starting to doubt not just the church, but even the existence of God. But I soldiered on with the church, eventually deciding that it didn't really matter if the church was true, or even if God existed, I liked the church and believed it to be good." - Andrew | wasmormon.org
"I eventually got married in the temple, started a family and a career, and continued my activity in the church. I attended church, kept my temple recommend active, filled my callings, paid tithing, read scriptures, and prayed regularly. But I never got anything that confirmed the church to me. Didn't make sense to me. Eventually stuff like this led to me starting to doubt not just the church, but even the existence of God. But I soldiered on with the church, eventually deciding that it didn't really matter if the church was true, or even if God existed, I liked the church and believed it to be good." - Andrew | wasmormon.org
"I am an airline pilot who enjoys traveling the world. I was born in to the church, and raised in a small New England college town, where my sister and I were the only Mormons in our school. Although my parents were faithful, they were extremely progressive and nuanced Mormons. They raised me to be a free thinker, to follow my own path, be a hard worker, and to be loving and accepting. I so wanted the church to be true. I was a Mormon." - Andrew | wasmormon.org
"I am an airline pilot who enjoys traveling the world. I was born in to the church, and raised in a small New England college town, where my sister and I were the only Mormons in our school. Although my parents were faithful, they were extremely progressive and nuanced Mormons. They raised me to be a free thinker, to follow my own path, be a hard worker, and to be loving and accepting. I so wanted the church to be true. I was a Mormon." - Andrew | wasmormon.org
"Then one Sunday, someone mentioned the Gospel Topics Essays. I had never heard of these. So after church, I went home and looked them up. These were essays written and published by the church (so they are official) that dealt with many of the messy things in church history. As I looked through the different topics, I realized that I had never even heard of most of the issues, and the ones I had heard of, I was told were anti-Mormon lies. But there they were, essentially an official admission by the church that my church leaders had lied to me. Wow, that hit hard." - Andrew | wasmormon.org
"Then one Sunday, someone mentioned the Gospel Topics Essays. I had never heard of these. So after church, I went home and looked them up. These were essays written and published by the church (so they are official) that dealt with many of the messy things in church history. As I looked through the different topics, I realized that I had never even heard of most of the issues, and the ones I had heard of, I was told were anti-Mormon lies. But there they were, essentially an official admission by the church that my church leaders had lied to me. Wow, that hit hard." - Andrew | wasmormon.org
"My first real crisis with church stuff came when I attempted to serve a mission... I was never getting these hyper spiritual experiences when everyone else was claiming to get them. I was doing the right things, and I desperately wanted to get them, but never did. All of those things led to me basically having a nervous breakdown in the MTC. So after about five weeks, I went home." - Andrew | wasmormon.org
"My first real crisis with church stuff came when I attempted to serve a mission... I was never getting these hyper spiritual experiences when everyone else was claiming to get them. I was doing the right things, and I desperately wanted to get them, but never did. All of those things led to me basically having a nervous breakdown in the MTC. So after about five weeks, I went home." - Andrew | wasmormon.org
"Then I read the essay about race and the priesthood. I knew this was a touchy and controversial topic, and one I had never fully come to grips with. But at face value, the essay seemed to offer some explanation. But then the very next day, while reading the scriptures with my kids... the essay claims the disavow any theories that dark skin was a curse from God, but right there was the teaching that dark skin was a curse from God. It was a blatant lie that the church didn't know where the idea came from, and it was a blatant lie the teaching was disavowed, because the seminary assignment had the kids reading it right there in scripture." - Andrew | wasmormon.org
"Then I read the essay about race and the priesthood. I knew this was a touchy and controversial topic, and one I had never fully come to grips with. But at face value, the essay seemed to offer some explanation. But then the very next day, while reading the scriptures with my kids... the essay claims the disavow any theories that dark skin was a curse from God, but right there was the teaching that dark skin was a curse from God. It was a blatant lie that the church didn't know where the idea came from, and it was a blatant lie the teaching was disavowed, because the seminary assignment had the kids reading it right there in scripture." - Andrew | wasmormon.org
"Prop 8 was hard for me to deal with. I could not understand why the church would care about the issue, particularly when most of the people affected were not even Mormons. That was a big weight on my "shelf". But eventually Prop 8 faded in to the background and I continued to live my life, trying to be a good Mormon and raise my kids to strong in the church because I still believed it to be "good", even if I was not sure if it was "true" or even if God existed." - Andrew | wasmormon.org
"Prop 8 was hard for me to deal with. I could not understand why the church would care about the issue, particularly when most of the people affected were not even Mormons. That was a big weight on my "shelf". But eventually Prop 8 faded in to the background and I continued to live my life, trying to be a good Mormon and raise my kids to strong in the church because I still believed it to be "good", even if I was not sure if it was "true" or even if God existed." - Andrew | wasmormon.org
"I started to listen to A Year of Polygamy podcast on her recommendation. When I got to the episode about Helen Marr Kimball, all of my belief collapsed. How could I follow a man that would do that? My wife told me about her shelf-breaker, the Lowry Nelson letters. Our kids have all left as well. It has been a difficult time leaving, but our little family is happier and more together than ever." – Mike | wasmormon.org
"I started to listen to A Year of Polygamy podcast on her recommendation. When I got to the episode about Helen Marr Kimball, all of my belief collapsed. How could I follow a man that would do that? My wife told me about her shelf-breaker, the Lowry Nelson letters. Our kids have all left as well. It has been a difficult time leaving, but our little family is happier and more together than ever." – Mike | wasmormon.org
"I had plenty of shelf items, but the first time I was honestly and permanently stumped was when we were talking about the Book of Abraham. I never studied apologetics, but I knew all of the "answers" anyway. The problem is, the only good answer for the Book of Abraham is 'wow, that doesn't make sense.'" – Mike | wasmormon.org
"I had plenty of shelf items, but the first time I was honestly and permanently stumped was when we were talking about the Book of Abraham. I never studied apologetics, but I knew all of the "answers" anyway. The problem is, the only good answer for the Book of Abraham is 'wow, that doesn't make sense.'" – Mike | wasmormon.org
"My wife preceded me out of the church. Her leaving was like a gut punch. How could we have a celestial family with a non-believing mom. It took me a bit to come to terms with it, and she helped me immensely, but I eventually realized that I married her and not the church." – Mike | wasmormon.org
"My wife preceded me out of the church. Her leaving was like a gut punch. How could we have a celestial family with a non-believing mom. It took me a bit to come to terms with it, and she helped me immensely, but I eventually realized that I married her and not the church." – Mike | wasmormon.org
"I hit all of the milestones and served a mission at age 19. I married an amazing woman and we had 5 kids. While I never had any super important callings (mostly due to a job that required work on some Sundays) we were one of those stalwart "same ten people" families. I never said no to a calling, even the ones I knew I would hate. My wife did the same and my girls were called into YW presidencies when they got there." – Mike | wasmormon.org
"I hit all of the milestones and served a mission at age 19. I married an amazing woman and we had 5 kids. While I never had any super important callings (mostly due to a job that required work on some Sundays) we were one of those stalwart "same ten people" families. I never said no to a calling, even the ones I knew I would hate. My wife did the same and my girls were called into YW presidencies when they got there." – Mike | wasmormon.org
"I decided to double down and get us all there. At the same time, I tried to understand why she left. I will absolutely admit that I was arrogant enough to think that if she gave me the reasons, I would be able to "reason" her back into the church. Wow was I wrong." – Mike | wasmormon.org
"I decided to double down and get us all there. At the same time, I tried to understand why she left. I will absolutely admit that I was arrogant enough to think that if she gave me the reasons, I would be able to "reason" her back into the church. Wow was I wrong." – Mike | wasmormon.org
"I'd always known I was different than the other kids my age but I didn't quite know why. When I hit puberty, changes that made the other boys in my class happy caused me to feel wrong and uncomfortable in my body. I began to wish that I was a girl even though I didn't have any idea what being transgender was at the time. I prayed every night for God to take these thoughts away from me with no response. I fell into a deep depression." – Willow | wasmormon.org
"I'd always known I was different than the other kids my age but I didn't quite know why. When I hit puberty, changes that made the other boys in my class happy caused me to feel wrong and uncomfortable in my body. I began to wish that I was a girl even though I didn't have any idea what being transgender was at the time. I prayed every night for God to take these thoughts away from me with no response. I fell into a deep depression." – Willow | wasmormon.org
"I stopped going to church entirely and began to resent the LDS church. I finally came out a year after I first realized I was a woman and that signaled the end of my marriage. I have now been on hormones for a year and a half and have never been happier." – Willow | wasmormon.org
"I stopped going to church entirely and began to resent the LDS church. I finally came out a year after I first realized I was a woman and that signaled the end of my marriage. I have now been on hormones for a year and a half and have never been happier." – Willow | wasmormon.org
"I started to see problems that I could not accomodate. The LDS church's homophobic and sexist policies became more and more upsetting as I got older and I made more LGBTQ friends and I had a harder and harder time overlooking the historical inaccuracies in the Book of Mormon." – Willow | wasmormon.org
"I started to see problems that I could not accomodate. The LDS church's homophobic and sexist policies became more and more upsetting as I got older and I made more LGBTQ friends and I had a harder and harder time overlooking the historical inaccuracies in the Book of Mormon." – Willow | wasmormon.org
"I finally found the label for the thoughts and unhappiness in my head when I was twenty-three and tried to tell my spouse that I might be transgender. The confession was met with threats of losing access to my child if I were ever to come out. My relationship with my spouse soured as they became neglectful and abusive." – Willow | wasmormon.org
"I finally found the label for the thoughts and unhappiness in my head when I was twenty-three and tried to tell my spouse that I might be transgender. The confession was met with threats of losing access to my child if I were ever to come out. My relationship with my spouse soured as they became neglectful and abusive." – Willow | wasmormon.org