Tag Archives: I Was a Mormon

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"I had an acquaintance from my ward that was posting on social media about their feelings on the church which made it clear they were no longer an active member. I was surprised, intrigued, and bothered, all at the same time. I wondered how someone who seemed so "faithful" could have left the church." Debra | wasmormon.org
"I had an acquaintance from my ward that was posting on social media about their feelings on the church which made it clear they were no longer an active member. I was surprised, intrigued, and bothered, all at the same time. I wondered how someone who seemed so "faithful" could have left the church." Debra | wasmormon.org
"In 2020, when in-person church services came to a halt, I started to examine my feelings about the church. My children were getting older and starting to experience things that every normal, healthy teenager experiences. Things started unraveling for me when my oldest daughter discussed with me having her annual bishops interview and discussing masturbation. The thought of my minor daughter discussing her private sexual habits with a grown man (untrained to discuss such topics) was utterly appalling." Debra | wasmormon.org
"In 2020, when in-person church services came to a halt, I started to examine my feelings about the church. My children were getting older and starting to experience things that every normal, healthy teenager experiences. Things started unraveling for me when my oldest daughter discussed with me having her annual bishops interview and discussing masturbation. The thought of my minor daughter discussing her private sexual habits with a grown man (untrained to discuss such topics) was utterly appalling." Debra | wasmormon.org
This is no ad, it's a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find Debra's full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/debrac28/. There are over a hundred more stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
This is no ad, it's a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find Debra's full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/debrac28/. There are over a hundred more stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
"As an active member of the church, we are taught that if you leave the church, you will never be happy. I was shocked to find out that this is, in fact, not true. I am happier now in my life than I have ever been as an active member of the church. I am free to make my own decision and live the kind of life that feels true and genuine to me. I am a better wife, a better mother, and a more well-rounded individual since leaving the church." Debra | wasmormon.org
"As an active member of the church, we are taught that if you leave the church, you will never be happy. I was shocked to find out that this is, in fact, not true. I am happier now in my life than I have ever been as an active member of the church. I am free to make my own decision and live the kind of life that feels true and genuine to me. I am a better wife, a better mother, and a more well-rounded individual since leaving the church." Debra
"I went on to learn about the church finances and how they hoard money, property, etc. all while bleeding their membership dry financially. As a very young married couple with a brand new baby, my husband and I struggled to make ends meet. We went to our bishop for financial assistance. He agreed to help us pay rent as long as we went to the church building for multiple weekends and pull weeds - with our only months old baby in tow. It was demeaning, humiliating, and we were still expected to pay our tithing, even while struggling to put food on the table." Debra | wasmormon.org
"I went on to learn about the church finances and how they hoard money, property, etc. all while bleeding their membership dry financially. As a very young married couple with a brand new baby, my husband and I struggled to make ends meet. We went to our bishop for financial assistance. He agreed to help us pay rent as long as we went to the church building for multiple weekends and pull weeds - with our only months old baby in tow. It was demeaning, humiliating, and we were still expected to pay our tithing, even while struggling to put food on the table." Debra | wasmormon.org
"Being a mormon was everything to me for 38 years. I was my entire identity. I had no identity outside of being a mormon. Everything I did was because of my religion. After deconstructing and learning the truth and lies about the church, I was devastated. Everything I thought I new and held as truth was in question. It has been immensely helpful for me to research and discuss and share about my experience with the church." Debra | wasmormon.org
"Being a mormon was everything to me for 38 years. I was my entire identity. I had no identity outside of being a mormon. Everything I did was because of my religion. After deconstructing and learning the truth and lies about the church, I was devastated. Everything I thought I new and held as truth was in question. It has been immensely helpful for me to research and discuss and share about my experience with the church." Debra | wasmormon.org
"The more I talk about my experience and what I've learned, the more I become content with who I now am and at peace with where I am at in my life. There's no way, at this time, I could "leave the church alone" because it was all I was for my entire life. It is possible that some day I won't feel the need to discuss mormonism or its effects on me, and I hope that day does come." Debra | wasmormon.org
"The more I talk about my experience and what I've learned, the more I become content with who I now am and at peace with where I am at in my life. There's no way, at this time, I could "leave the church alone" because it was all I was for my entire life. It is possible that some day I won't feel the need to discuss mormonism or its effects on me, and I hope that day does come." Debra | wasmormon.org
"I was setting a terrible example for my children - claiming to believe in the church, but only bits and pieces. I knew I had to be true to myself and live the life I knew was right for me, my husband, and my children. The CES letter was the nail in the coffin and confirmed to me that my decision to leave was the right one." Debra | wasmormon.org
"I was setting a terrible example for my children - claiming to believe in the church, but only bits and pieces. I knew I had to be true to myself and live the life I knew was right for me, my husband, and my children. The CES letter was the nail in the coffin and confirmed to me that my decision to leave was the right one." Debra | wasmormon.org
"I was a Mormon. I am the middle child of 11 children and was raised in a strict mormon home from childhood. I was to follow all the rules set by the mormon church and never deviate therefrom. I never made my own choices. We went on to have a total of 5 children. My husband and I served in many callings, from nursery leaders to ward choir director to primary teachers to ward clerks and my final calling was in the Relief Society presidency." Debra | wasmormon.org
"I was a Mormon. I am the middle child of 11 children and was raised in a strict mormon home from childhood. I was to follow all the rules set by the mormon church and never deviate therefrom. I never made my own choices. We went on to have a total of 5 children. My husband and I served in many callings, from nursery leaders to ward choir director to primary teachers to ward clerks and my final calling was in the Relief Society presidency." Debra | wasmormon.org
"I felt so sad, angry and disappointed at the same time. I cried for hours. Did I really just wasted 3 years of my life? Did I really believed in something, that is full of lies and intrigue? And yes, I did. And this understanding hurt me so deep. My Faith was a house of cards which floor by floor, slowly collapsed with every new TRUE thing I learned about the Church." – Tim wasmormon.org
"I felt so sad, angry and disappointed at the same time. I cried for hours. Did I really just wasted 3 years of my life? Did I really believed in something, that is full of lies and intrigue? And yes, I did. And this understanding hurt me so deep. My Faith was a house of cards which floor by floor, slowly collapsed with every new TRUE thing I learned about the Church." – Tim wasmormon.org
"I somehow always knew that I am gay. But because I got in touch with the Church I thought that this is a sin and that I need to repent. So I started to hide it and tried so ignore my feelings for other guys. Also in my time of investigating the Church for almost two years I got in touch with problematic topics and all the criticism against the Church. But I did exactly the same; I ignored it and often said that these things are all made up to harm the Church." – Tim wasmormon.org
"I somehow always knew that I am gay. But because I got in touch with the Church I thought that this is a sin and that I need to repent. So I started to hide it and tried so ignore my feelings for other guys. Also in my time of investigating the Church for almost two years I got in touch with problematic topics and all the criticism against the Church. But I did exactly the same; I ignored it and often said that these things are all made up to harm the Church." – Tim wasmormon.org
"I am from Germany. I started to hang around with the missionaries and talked with them for hours about the Church and its doctrine. I wanted to get baptized at 16 but I needed to ask my mother for her agreement. She said no – I got baptized 5 days after my 18th birthday. I never had doubts. I was a very firm member without looking left or right. I fully believed in everything the Church teaches. I joined Mormonism, ignoring that I am gay. I was a Mormon." – Tim wasmormon.org
"I am from Germany. I started to hang around with the missionaries and talked with them for hours about the Church and its doctrine. I wanted to get baptized at 16 but I needed to ask my mother for her agreement. She said no – I got baptized 5 days after my 18th birthday. I never had doubts. I was a very firm member without looking left or right. I fully believed in everything the Church teaches. I joined Mormonism, ignoring that I am gay. I was a Mormon." – Tim wasmormon.org
"All the members I talked to, didn't really care about my concerns and doubts. They simply said I should not read 'Anti-Mormon' literature and that I should ignore these things. But I cannot ignore facts and science. I cannot ignore how the Church treats members of the LGBTQ Community. And I can and will not ever ignore and be silent about the hundreds of lies, the leaders of the Church tell it's members." – Tim wasmormon.org
"All the members I talked to, didn't really care about my concerns and doubts. They simply said I should not read 'Anti-Mormon' literature and that I should ignore these things. But I cannot ignore facts and science. I cannot ignore how the Church treats members of the LGBTQ Community. And I can and will not ever ignore and be silent about the hundreds of lies, the leaders of the Church tell it's members." – Tim wasmormon.org
"In the time where did "sinful things" in the eyes of the Church, I got my calling in the Elder's Quorum. From that point I, knew that all this is nothing about inspiration, but just how you look on the outside. I wondered; Is it really that easy to deceive God, or is it just deceiving men? I lost my testimony of the Priesthood." – Tim wasmormon.org
"In the time where did "sinful things" in the eyes of the Church, I got my calling in the Elder's Quorum. From that point I, knew that all this is nothing about inspiration, but just how you look on the outside. I wondered; Is it really that easy to deceive God, or is it just deceiving men? I lost my testimony of the Priesthood." – Tim wasmormon.org
"But I met a boy. We had a wonderful time. I felt that this is what I always really wanted. This relationship between two boys, is nothing sinful or bad. But I was hiding it, because I was scared that the Members would start to hate me. That they would start trying to make me straight and that they would tell me that I am a dirty sinner. I came to the conclusion that denying the love of human beings is the worst thing someone could do." – Tim wasmormon.org
"But I met a boy. We had a wonderful time. I felt that this is what I always really wanted. This relationship between two boys, is nothing sinful or bad. But I was hiding it, because I was scared that the Members would start to hate me. That they would start trying to make me straight and that they would tell me that I am a dirty sinner. I came to the conclusion that denying the love of human beings is the worst thing someone could do." – Tim wasmormon.org
"I began my deep dive. The more I read or listened, the worse the church sounded. It soon became apparent to me that not only was the church not "true", it wasn't even remotely "good". It was founded by a power hungry sex predator with a long history of being a con-artist. It holds bigoted and racist views. It caters to right-wing violent extremists. It breeds sexism and misogyny. It protects and enables abusers and predators. It fights against equal rights for the LGBTQ community. It hoards money, exploits tax loopholes, and lies about how its finances are being spent. " - Andrew | wasmormon.org
"I began my deep dive. The more I read or listened, the worse the church sounded. It soon became apparent to me that not only was the church not "true", it wasn't even remotely "good". It was founded by a power hungry sex predator with a long history of being a con-artist. It holds bigoted and racist views. It caters to right-wing violent extremists. It breeds sexism and misogyny. It protects and enables abusers and predators. It fights against equal rights for the LGBTQ community. It hoards money, exploits tax loopholes, and lies about how its finances are being spent. " - Andrew | wasmormon.org
"I eventually got married in the temple, started a family and a career, and continued my activity in the church. I attended church, kept my temple recommend active, filled my callings, paid tithing, read scriptures, and prayed regularly. But I never got anything that confirmed the church to me. Didn't make sense to me. Eventually stuff like this led to me starting to doubt not just the church, but even the existence of God. But I soldiered on with the church, eventually deciding that it didn't really matter if the church was true, or even if God existed, I liked the church and believed it to be good." - Andrew | wasmormon.org
"I eventually got married in the temple, started a family and a career, and continued my activity in the church. I attended church, kept my temple recommend active, filled my callings, paid tithing, read scriptures, and prayed regularly. But I never got anything that confirmed the church to me. Didn't make sense to me. Eventually stuff like this led to me starting to doubt not just the church, but even the existence of God. But I soldiered on with the church, eventually deciding that it didn't really matter if the church was true, or even if God existed, I liked the church and believed it to be good." - Andrew | wasmormon.org
"I am an airline pilot who enjoys traveling the world. I was born in to the church, and raised in a small New England college town, where my sister and I were the only Mormons in our school. Although my parents were faithful, they were extremely progressive and nuanced Mormons. They raised me to be a free thinker, to follow my own path, be a hard worker, and to be loving and accepting. I so wanted the church to be true. I was a Mormon." - Andrew | wasmormon.org
"I am an airline pilot who enjoys traveling the world. I was born in to the church, and raised in a small New England college town, where my sister and I were the only Mormons in our school. Although my parents were faithful, they were extremely progressive and nuanced Mormons. They raised me to be a free thinker, to follow my own path, be a hard worker, and to be loving and accepting. I so wanted the church to be true. I was a Mormon." - Andrew | wasmormon.org
"Then one Sunday, someone mentioned the Gospel Topics Essays. I had never heard of these. So after church, I went home and looked them up. These were essays written and published by the church (so they are official) that dealt with many of the messy things in church history. As I looked through the different topics, I realized that I had never even heard of most of the issues, and the ones I had heard of, I was told were anti-Mormon lies. But there they were, essentially an official admission by the church that my church leaders had lied to me. Wow, that hit hard." - Andrew | wasmormon.org
"Then one Sunday, someone mentioned the Gospel Topics Essays. I had never heard of these. So after church, I went home and looked them up. These were essays written and published by the church (so they are official) that dealt with many of the messy things in church history. As I looked through the different topics, I realized that I had never even heard of most of the issues, and the ones I had heard of, I was told were anti-Mormon lies. But there they were, essentially an official admission by the church that my church leaders had lied to me. Wow, that hit hard." - Andrew | wasmormon.org
"My first real crisis with church stuff came when I attempted to serve a mission... I was never getting these hyper spiritual experiences when everyone else was claiming to get them. I was doing the right things, and I desperately wanted to get them, but never did. All of those things led to me basically having a nervous breakdown in the MTC. So after about five weeks, I went home." - Andrew | wasmormon.org
"My first real crisis with church stuff came when I attempted to serve a mission... I was never getting these hyper spiritual experiences when everyone else was claiming to get them. I was doing the right things, and I desperately wanted to get them, but never did. All of those things led to me basically having a nervous breakdown in the MTC. So after about five weeks, I went home." - Andrew | wasmormon.org
"Then I read the essay about race and the priesthood. I knew this was a touchy and controversial topic, and one I had never fully come to grips with. But at face value, the essay seemed to offer some explanation. But then the very next day, while reading the scriptures with my kids... the essay claims the disavow any theories that dark skin was a curse from God, but right there was the teaching that dark skin was a curse from God. It was a blatant lie that the church didn't know where the idea came from, and it was a blatant lie the teaching was disavowed, because the seminary assignment had the kids reading it right there in scripture." - Andrew | wasmormon.org
"Then I read the essay about race and the priesthood. I knew this was a touchy and controversial topic, and one I had never fully come to grips with. But at face value, the essay seemed to offer some explanation. But then the very next day, while reading the scriptures with my kids... the essay claims the disavow any theories that dark skin was a curse from God, but right there was the teaching that dark skin was a curse from God. It was a blatant lie that the church didn't know where the idea came from, and it was a blatant lie the teaching was disavowed, because the seminary assignment had the kids reading it right there in scripture." - Andrew | wasmormon.org