Tag Archives: I Was a Mormon

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"I remained a faithful member of the church, fulfilling all my church obligations, attending meetings, observing the Word of Wisdom, wearing my temple garments. But I was struggling mightily to reconcile the church's inconsistencies, lies, and dubious past with my faith in its divinity. It was at a single moment one day in the university library when I was pondering this problem. I was suddenly struck with the thought, "All of these problems disappear as soon as you realize that the Mormon church is just another man-made institution. Everything then is easily explained." It was like a revelation. The weight suddenly lifted from me and I was filled with a feeling of joy and exhilaration. Of course! Why hadn't I seen it before?" - Richard Packham | https://wasmormon.org/profile/richard-packham/
"I remained a faithful member of the church, fulfilling all my church obligations, attending meetings, observing the Word of Wisdom, wearing my temple garments. But I was struggling mightily to reconcile the church's inconsistencies, lies, and dubious past with my faith in its divinity. It was at a single moment one day in the university library when I was pondering this problem. I was suddenly struck with the thought, "All of these problems disappear as soon as you realize that the Mormon church is just another man-made institution. Everything then is easily explained." It was like a revelation. The weight suddenly lifted from me and I was filled with a feeling of joy and exhilaration. Of course! Why hadn't I seen it before?" - Richard Packham | https://wasmormon.org/profile/richard-packham/
"My childhood was very happy, with loving and nurturing parents and family. We were "special" because we had the "Gospel," meaning Mormonism. My high school sweetheart was a good and faithful Mormon girl. I enjoyed my four years at BYU, being surrounded by devout fellow-students and being taught by devout and educated teachers. One professor of geology was also a member of our ward. I was just learning about the age of the earth as most geologists taught it. I asked him one Sunday at church how he reconciled the teachings of his science with the teachings of the church (which said that the earth was created about 6000 years ago). He replied that he had two compartments in his brain: one for geology and one for the gospel. They were entirely separate, and he did not let the one influence the other. This bothered me, but I didn't think more about it." - Richard Packham | https://wasmormon.org/profile/richard-packham/
"My childhood was very happy, with loving and nurturing parents and family. We were "special" because we had the "Gospel," meaning Mormonism. My high school sweetheart was a good and faithful Mormon girl. I enjoyed my four years at BYU, being surrounded by devout fellow-students and being taught by devout and educated teachers. One professor of geology was also a member of our ward. I was just learning about the age of the earth as most geologists taught it. I asked him one Sunday at church how he reconciled the teachings of his science with the teachings of the church (which said that the earth was created about 6000 years ago). He replied that he had two compartments in his brain: one for geology and one for the gospel. They were entirely separate, and he did not let the one influence the other. This bothered me, but I didn't think more about it." - Richard Packham | https://wasmormon.org/profile/richard-packham/
"I left for one reason, and one reason only: the Mormon church is not led by God, and it never has been. It is a religion of 100% human origin. However, my life since leaving the church has been a rich and rewarding one. I married a lovely girl with beliefs similar to mine, and we now have two fine adult sons whom we raised with no religious training whatsoever, and who are as admirable human beings as one could ever want their children to be. And as I am getting older I also realize that I have no fear of death, even though I have no idea what to expect when it comes." - Richard Packham | https://wasmormon.org/profile/richard-packham/
"I left for one reason, and one reason only: the Mormon church is not led by God, and it never has been. It is a religion of 100% human origin. However, my life since leaving the church has been a rich and rewarding one. I married a lovely girl with beliefs similar to mine, and we now have two fine adult sons whom we raised with no religious training whatsoever, and who are as admirable human beings as one could ever want their children to be. And as I am getting older I also realize that I have no fear of death, even though I have no idea what to expect when it comes." - Richard Packham | https://wasmormon.org/profile/richard-packham/
"I realized that in order for me to defend Mormonism I would have to know what its enemies were saying about it, so that I could be prepared with the proper facts. I had never been an avid student of the history of the church, although I had earned the highest grades in the third year high-school seminary course in church history. I mean, what was there important to know about church history, beyond the story of how Joseph had his visions, got the plates, translated them, and how Satan had persecuted the Saints until they got to Utah? I began to read church history, both the authentic histories published by the church and the awful lies and distortions published by its enemies. How different they were! It was almost as if the authors in each camp were writing about different events. And the university library, where I spent a good deal of time, seemed to have more of the latter than the former.What began to bother me most was that the church did not seem to be telling the entire truth about many events in its past." - Richard Packham | https://wasmormon.org/profile/richard-packham/
"I realized that in order for me to defend Mormonism I would have to know what its enemies were saying about it, so that I could be prepared with the proper facts. I had never been an avid student of the history of the church, although I had earned the highest grades in the third year high-school seminary course in church history. I mean, what was there important to know about church history, beyond the story of how Joseph had his visions, got the plates, translated them, and how Satan had persecuted the Saints until they got to Utah? I began to read church history, both the authentic histories published by the church and the awful lies and distortions published by its enemies. How different they were! It was almost as if the authors in each camp were writing about different events. And the university library, where I spent a good deal of time, seemed to have more of the latter than the former.What began to bother me most was that the church did not seem to be telling the entire truth about many events in its past." - Richard Packham | https://wasmormon.org/profile/richard-packham/
"I rushed home to share with my wife the great discovery I had made. I told her what I had learned: the church isn't true! She turned away and refused to accept anything I said critical about the church. It was the beginning of the end of our marriage. A last-ditch attempt at reconciliation failed when she said that her return would be conditioned upon my returning to the faith. I realized that I could not do it, however much I wanted to keep my family. In the years since leaving the church I have never regretted my decision for a moment (other than the fact that it caused me to lose my wife and children)." - Richard Packham | https://wasmormon.org/profile/richard-packham/
"I rushed home to share with my wife the great discovery I had made. I told her what I had learned: the church isn't true! She turned away and refused to accept anything I said critical about the church. It was the beginning of the end of our marriage. A last-ditch attempt at reconciliation failed when she said that her return would be conditioned upon my returning to the faith. I realized that I could not do it, however much I wanted to keep my family. In the years since leaving the church I have never regretted my decision for a moment (other than the fact that it caused me to lose my wife and children)." - Richard Packham | https://wasmormon.org/profile/richard-packham/
"The Adam-God problem continued to occupy my mind. I finally decided to try to settle the matter. If the doctrine were true, I was willing, as a faithful member of the church, to accept it. If it were not true, I needed some explanation about the apparent fact that Brigham Young (and other church authorities of his time) vigorously taught it. So I composed a letter to Joseph Fielding Smith, whom I respected very much, and who at the time was the Church Historian and the president of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. I spelled out to President Smith my dilemma: the evidence seemed to be clear and uncontroverted that Brigham Young had taught that Adam is God the Father. But the present church does not teach this. What is the truth? I secretly thought that President Smith would write back and say something like: "Yes, you can be assured that President Young taught the truth: Adam is our Father and our God. The church does not proclaim this precious truth because we do not wish to expose the mysteries of God to the mockery of the world. Preserve this secret truth as you do the secrets of your temple endowment." I received a short and clear answer to my letter from President Smith. It was quite different from what I had expected. He wrote that such an idea was unscriptural and untrue, and completely false. He did not deal with the evidence that Brigham Young had taught it. He ignored the whole problem as if it didn't exist. It bothered me, but I tried to put it out of my mind." - Richard Packham | https://wasmormon.org/profile/richard-packham/
"The Adam-God problem continued to occupy my mind. I finally decided to try to settle the matter. If the doctrine were true, I was willing, as a faithful member of the church, to accept it. If it were not true, I needed some explanation about the apparent fact that Brigham Young (and other church authorities of his time) vigorously taught it. So I composed a letter to Joseph Fielding Smith, whom I respected very much, and who at the time was the Church Historian and the president of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. I spelled out to President Smith my dilemma: the evidence seemed to be clear and uncontroverted that Brigham Young had taught that Adam is God the Father. But the present church does not teach this. What is the truth? I secretly thought that President Smith would write back and say something like: "Yes, you can be assured that President Young taught the truth: Adam is our Father and our God. The church does not proclaim this precious truth because we do not wish to expose the mysteries of God to the mockery of the world. Preserve this secret truth as you do the secrets of your temple endowment." I received a short and clear answer to my letter from President Smith. It was quite different from what I had expected. He wrote that such an idea was unscriptural and untrue, and completely false. He did not deal with the evidence that Brigham Young had taught it. He ignored the whole problem as if it didn't exist. It bothered me, but I tried to put it out of my mind." - Richard Packham | https://wasmormon.org/profile/richard-packham/
"I was offered a scholarship at Northwestern University to work on a master's degree. So my young wife and I with our two (at that time) babies moved to Evanston, Illinois, and for the first time in my life I was surrounded by non-Mormons. I was the only Mormon in my university program. This did not intimidate me in the least. I felt that I was intelligent enough, knowledgeable enough about religion, and skillful enough in debating skills to discuss, defend and promote my religion with anybody. I soon found takers. Many of my fellow graduate students had questions about Mormonism. They were friendly questions, but challenging. For the first time in my life I had the opportunity to spread the gospel. It was exhilarating. We had some wonderful discussions. They asked me questions that I was unable to answer satisfactorily because they were based on facts I was unfamiliar with. I had never heard about the Danite enforcer gangs, about the Blood Atonement Doctrine or the Adam-God Doctrine. Where did these horrible allegations come from?" - Richard Packham | https://wasmormon.org/profile/richard-packham/
"I was offered a scholarship at Northwestern University to work on a master's degree. So my young wife and I with our two (at that time) babies moved to Evanston, Illinois, and for the first time in my life I was surrounded by non-Mormons. I was the only Mormon in my university program. This did not intimidate me in the least. I felt that I was intelligent enough, knowledgeable enough about religion, and skillful enough in debating skills to discuss, defend and promote my religion with anybody. I soon found takers. Many of my fellow graduate students had questions about Mormonism. They were friendly questions, but challenging. For the first time in my life I had the opportunity to spread the gospel. It was exhilarating. We had some wonderful discussions. They asked me questions that I was unable to answer satisfactorily because they were based on facts I was unfamiliar with. I had never heard about the Danite enforcer gangs, about the Blood Atonement Doctrine or the Adam-God Doctrine. Where did these horrible allegations come from?" - Richard Packham | https://wasmormon.org/profile/richard-packham/
All my children have left the church, each for their own reasons, and my husband eventually left as well. We are all so happy and content with our life now. Finding a Community has been tough but I wouldn’t change anything. The people in our lives now are genuine, kind and real. There is life after mormonism, and it's wonderful. | https://wasmormon.org/profile/beth/
All my children have left the church, each for their own reasons, and my husband eventually left as well. We are all so happy and content with our life now. Finding a Community has been tough but I wouldn’t change anything. The people in our lives now are genuine, kind and real. There is life after mormonism, and it's wonderful. | https://wasmormon.org/profile/beth/
Like a lot of people, my final Sunday at church was the last Sunday before Covid. I started listening to podcasts and came across one about a lady who had left the Mormon church. Everything she said resonated with me so strongly and I wanted to learn more. I listened to everything I could find, Mormon Stories, etc. I knew I was completely done and was never going back. | https://wasmormon.org/profile/beth/
Like a lot of people, my final Sunday at church was the last Sunday before Covid. I started listening to podcasts and came across one about a lady who had left the Mormon church. Everything she said resonated with me so strongly and I wanted to learn more. I listened to everything I could find, Mormon Stories, etc. I knew I was completely done and was never going back. | https://wasmormon.org/profile/beth/
I eventually went back to church because I still had little ones at home and thought it was the only way. My shelf was so full of teachings I didn’t understand and things I no longer believed in. They put me in Relief Society for five years but I would only teach lessons on god's love and faith and enduring to the end. | https://wasmormon.org/profile/beth/
I eventually went back to church because I still had little ones at home and thought it was the only way. My shelf was so full of teachings I didn’t understand and things I no longer believed in. They put me in Relief Society for five years but I would only teach lessons on god's love and faith and enduring to the end. | https://wasmormon.org/profile/beth/
I had my first faith crisis when our oldest started giving us trouble in high school. I realized then, that my eternal family may not be so eternal. I also realized I believed in a very scary and judgmental God and I didn’t like it.  I went inactive for about a year. I started studying other books about God, his love, his mercy. | https://wasmormon.org/profile/beth/
I had my first faith crisis when our oldest started giving us trouble in high school. I realized then, that my eternal family may not be so eternal. I also realized I believed in a very scary and judgmental God and I didn’t like it.  I went inactive for about a year. I started studying other books about God, his love, his mercy. | https://wasmormon.org/profile/beth/
When I was 12, two Mormon missionaries showed up at our door. My mom, sister and I were baptized shortly after. I was semi-active during the next six years but ended up going to Rick's college where I met my husband. Two years later, we both went on missions. Four month after we returned we were married in the Oakland temple. My desire was always to give my future children a different life than I had. I fully embraced the gospel during and after my mission and loved it. We raised four children in the church, served in many callings and was all in. | https://wasmormon.org/profile/beth/
When I was 12, two Mormon missionaries showed up at our door. My mom, sister and I were baptized shortly after. I was semi-active during the next six years but ended up going to Rick's college where I met my husband. Two years later, we both went on missions. Four month after we returned we were married in the Oakland temple. My desire was always to give my future children a different life than I had. I fully embraced the gospel during and after my mission and loved it. We raised four children in the church, served in many callings and was all in. | https://wasmormon.org/profile/beth/
"In 2020, when in-person church services came to a halt, I started to examine my feelings about the church. My children were getting older and starting to experience things that every normal, healthy teenager experiences. Things started unraveling for me when my oldest daughter discussed with me having her annual bishops interview and discussing masturbation. The thought of my minor daughter discussing her private sexual habits with a grown man (untrained to discuss such topics) was utterly appalling." Debra | wasmormon.org
"In 2020, when in-person church services came to a halt, I started to examine my feelings about the church. My children were getting older and starting to experience things that every normal, healthy teenager experiences. Things started unraveling for me when my oldest daughter discussed with me having her annual bishops interview and discussing masturbation. The thought of my minor daughter discussing her private sexual habits with a grown man (untrained to discuss such topics) was utterly appalling." Debra | wasmormon.org
This is no ad, it's a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find Debra's full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/debrac28/. There are over a hundred more stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
This is no ad, it's a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find Debra's full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/debrac28/. There are over a hundred more stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
"As an active member of the church, we are taught that if you leave the church, you will never be happy. I was shocked to find out that this is, in fact, not true. I am happier now in my life than I have ever been as an active member of the church. I am free to make my own decision and live the kind of life that feels true and genuine to me. I am a better wife, a better mother, and a more well-rounded individual since leaving the church." Debra | wasmormon.org
"As an active member of the church, we are taught that if you leave the church, you will never be happy. I was shocked to find out that this is, in fact, not true. I am happier now in my life than I have ever been as an active member of the church. I am free to make my own decision and live the kind of life that feels true and genuine to me. I am a better wife, a better mother, and a more well-rounded individual since leaving the church." Debra
"I went on to learn about the church finances and how they hoard money, property, etc. all while bleeding their membership dry financially. As a very young married couple with a brand new baby, my husband and I struggled to make ends meet. We went to our bishop for financial assistance. He agreed to help us pay rent as long as we went to the church building for multiple weekends and pull weeds - with our only months old baby in tow. It was demeaning, humiliating, and we were still expected to pay our tithing, even while struggling to put food on the table." Debra | wasmormon.org
"I went on to learn about the church finances and how they hoard money, property, etc. all while bleeding their membership dry financially. As a very young married couple with a brand new baby, my husband and I struggled to make ends meet. We went to our bishop for financial assistance. He agreed to help us pay rent as long as we went to the church building for multiple weekends and pull weeds - with our only months old baby in tow. It was demeaning, humiliating, and we were still expected to pay our tithing, even while struggling to put food on the table." Debra | wasmormon.org
"Being a mormon was everything to me for 38 years. I was my entire identity. I had no identity outside of being a mormon. Everything I did was because of my religion. After deconstructing and learning the truth and lies about the church, I was devastated. Everything I thought I new and held as truth was in question. It has been immensely helpful for me to research and discuss and share about my experience with the church." Debra | wasmormon.org
"Being a mormon was everything to me for 38 years. I was my entire identity. I had no identity outside of being a mormon. Everything I did was because of my religion. After deconstructing and learning the truth and lies about the church, I was devastated. Everything I thought I new and held as truth was in question. It has been immensely helpful for me to research and discuss and share about my experience with the church." Debra | wasmormon.org
"The more I talk about my experience and what I've learned, the more I become content with who I now am and at peace with where I am at in my life. There's no way, at this time, I could "leave the church alone" because it was all I was for my entire life. It is possible that some day I won't feel the need to discuss mormonism or its effects on me, and I hope that day does come." Debra | wasmormon.org
"The more I talk about my experience and what I've learned, the more I become content with who I now am and at peace with where I am at in my life. There's no way, at this time, I could "leave the church alone" because it was all I was for my entire life. It is possible that some day I won't feel the need to discuss mormonism or its effects on me, and I hope that day does come." Debra | wasmormon.org
"I was setting a terrible example for my children - claiming to believe in the church, but only bits and pieces. I knew I had to be true to myself and live the life I knew was right for me, my husband, and my children. The CES letter was the nail in the coffin and confirmed to me that my decision to leave was the right one." Debra | wasmormon.org
"I was setting a terrible example for my children - claiming to believe in the church, but only bits and pieces. I knew I had to be true to myself and live the life I knew was right for me, my husband, and my children. The CES letter was the nail in the coffin and confirmed to me that my decision to leave was the right one." Debra | wasmormon.org
"I was a Mormon. I am the middle child of 11 children and was raised in a strict mormon home from childhood. I was to follow all the rules set by the mormon church and never deviate therefrom. I never made my own choices. We went on to have a total of 5 children. My husband and I served in many callings, from nursery leaders to ward choir director to primary teachers to ward clerks and my final calling was in the Relief Society presidency." Debra | wasmormon.org
"I was a Mormon. I am the middle child of 11 children and was raised in a strict mormon home from childhood. I was to follow all the rules set by the mormon church and never deviate therefrom. I never made my own choices. We went on to have a total of 5 children. My husband and I served in many callings, from nursery leaders to ward choir director to primary teachers to ward clerks and my final calling was in the Relief Society presidency." Debra | wasmormon.org
"I had an acquaintance from my ward that was posting on social media about their feelings on the church which made it clear they were no longer an active member. I was surprised, intrigued, and bothered, all at the same time. I wondered how someone who seemed so "faithful" could have left the church." Debra | wasmormon.org
"I had an acquaintance from my ward that was posting on social media about their feelings on the church which made it clear they were no longer an active member. I was surprised, intrigued, and bothered, all at the same time. I wondered how someone who seemed so "faithful" could have left the church." Debra | wasmormon.org