Tag Archives: I Was a Mormon

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"Eventually, everything that was stacked against the church added up. Everything I had put on my metaphorical shelf (where one keeps things that they don’t want to think about yet) had become too heavy, and the shelf broke. While on a work trip in Iowa, I determined I needed to seriously evaluate my church membership. I was done being uncomfortable with the church’s teachings and actions while still supporting them, and I needed to either be firmly in or firmly out. When I got home, I prayed my heart out and asked God if I should leave the church. I felt more peace and comfort than I ever did when I asked if the church was true. I came to the conclusion that either God was a liar or these feelings were manufactured in my own mind. In either case, I was not going to continue to support an organization that caused me and millions of others incredible amounts of trauma. Since leaving, I have been happier than I have ever been. I enjoy the health benefits of tea, the low-calorie energy I get from coffee, and the extra money I have from not paying tithing. We have more opportunities to be generous and kind. Sunday mornings are finally enjoyable, and we don’t feel like we have to spend two hours in triggering church meetings. We have focused on trading up, and we are so grateful for the wonderful people who have helped us learn how to live without the church." - Landon's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/elementalepistles/
"Eventually, everything that was stacked against the church added up. Everything I had put on my metaphorical shelf (where one keeps things that they don’t want to think about yet) had become too heavy, and the shelf broke. While on a work trip in Iowa, I determined I needed to seriously evaluate my church membership. I was done being uncomfortable with the church’s teachings and actions while still supporting them, and I needed to either be firmly in or firmly out. When I got home, I prayed my heart out and asked God if I should leave the church. I felt more peace and comfort than I ever did when I asked if the church was true. I came to the conclusion that either God was a liar or these feelings were manufactured in my own mind. In either case, I was not going to continue to support an organization that caused me and millions of others incredible amounts of trauma. Since leaving, I have been happier than I have ever been. I enjoy the health benefits of tea, the low-calorie energy I get from coffee, and the extra money I have from not paying tithing. We have more opportunities to be generous and kind. Sunday mornings are finally enjoyable, and we don’t feel like we have to spend two hours in triggering church meetings. We have focused on trading up, and we are so grateful for the wonderful people who have helped us learn how to live without the church." - Landon's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/elementalepistles/
"I attended the singles ward for just over a year before I got married. We were disappointed to learn that the only part we played in our own marriage ceremony was the word “yes”. The temple worker instructed us before the ceremony; he said he would ask us one question, and the answer was “yes” and not “I do”. My wife and I had to decrease our church activity for a few reasons, including time constraints and health limitations. One of the most noteworthy, concerning, question-sparking parts of our experience was when we were serving as primary teachers but were unable to attend for a couple of weeks in a row. The primary presidency stopped by our apartment when we were both sick with a cold and asked to visit. We said they could stop in for a few minutes, and their first question was about what they could do to get us back in our calling. We stayed polite, but this got us thinking about the intentions of the church as an organization. A great deal of factors impacted my decision to leave the church, and a great deal of other factors impacted my wife’s decision. As my wife has become a therapist and learned a great deal about trauma, we have each processed trauma caused by the church." - Landon's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/elementalepistles/
"I attended the singles ward for just over a year before I got married. We were disappointed to learn that the only part we played in our own marriage ceremony was the word “yes”. The temple worker instructed us before the ceremony; he said he would ask us one question, and the answer was “yes” and not “I do”. My wife and I had to decrease our church activity for a few reasons, including time constraints and health limitations. One of the most noteworthy, concerning, question-sparking parts of our experience was when we were serving as primary teachers but were unable to attend for a couple of weeks in a row. The primary presidency stopped by our apartment when we were both sick with a cold and asked to visit. We said they could stop in for a few minutes, and their first question was about what they could do to get us back in our calling. We stayed polite, but this got us thinking about the intentions of the church as an organization. A great deal of factors impacted my decision to leave the church, and a great deal of other factors impacted my wife’s decision. As my wife has become a therapist and learned a great deal about trauma, we have each processed trauma caused by the church." - Landon's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/elementalepistles/
"During the remainder of my mission, I became extremely anxious. I didn't have access to sufficient resources, so I lost a significant amount of weight and lived with an infected foot for the majority of my mission. While I had great relationships with a couple of companions, I survived emotional and physical abuse from multiple companions without any option for recourse from the church. When riots started, we were told to stay in our homes, but many of us didn't have sufficient food and clean water. We used gift money we had received from home to purchase some emergency food and supplies (against the instructions of the mission president). When I served as assistant, I started seeing major issues with how the mission was run. I was expected to do the job of a mental health professional when missionaries called in distress. I saw how little the church did to help missionaries who were robbed or assaulted. And I noticed the lack of discernment that went into assigning mission companions." - Landon's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/elementalepistles/
"During the remainder of my mission, I became extremely anxious. I didn't have access to sufficient resources, so I lost a significant amount of weight and lived with an infected foot for the majority of my mission. While I had great relationships with a couple of companions, I survived emotional and physical abuse from multiple companions without any option for recourse from the church. When riots started, we were told to stay in our homes, but many of us didn't have sufficient food and clean water. We used gift money we had received from home to purchase some emergency food and supplies (against the instructions of the mission president). When I served as assistant, I started seeing major issues with how the mission was run. I was expected to do the job of a mental health professional when missionaries called in distress. I saw how little the church did to help missionaries who were robbed or assaulted. And I noticed the lack of discernment that went into assigning mission companions." - Landon's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/elementalepistles/
"I was to serve in the Honduras Tegucigalpa mission. After some research, I learned it was statistically one of the most dangerous places in the world. I heard from someone who served there that the church often provided inadequate food, medicine, and housing to missionaries. All the talks and lessons during the MTC conveyed one message to me: if I was not an exactly obedient, perfect missionary, my safety was immediately in danger. If I failed to obey any of the mission rules or commandments, my parents were in danger of never seeing their son again. On top of all of this, we were closely monitored as we wrote home. There were several staff members in the computer lab at all times while it was unlocked, and we were told that if we were struggling, we should not include that in our emails home. Everything was to be faith-promoting. This struck me as extremely strange: God trusted me to represent Him in a huge capacity, but He didn’t trust me to email my mom. Because of all of this, I didn’t dare write home about how awful I felt since I believed disobedience would put me in danger (or at best earn me some kind of punishment), and I didn’t need to stress out my worried family even further." - Landon's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/elementalepistles/
"I was to serve in the Honduras Tegucigalpa mission. After some research, I learned it was statistically one of the most dangerous places in the world. I heard from someone who served there that the church often provided inadequate food, medicine, and housing to missionaries. All the talks and lessons during the MTC conveyed one message to me: if I was not an exactly obedient, perfect missionary, my safety was immediately in danger. If I failed to obey any of the mission rules or commandments, my parents were in danger of never seeing their son again. On top of all of this, we were closely monitored as we wrote home. There were several staff members in the computer lab at all times while it was unlocked, and we were told that if we were struggling, we should not include that in our emails home. Everything was to be faith-promoting. This struck me as extremely strange: God trusted me to represent Him in a huge capacity, but He didn’t trust me to email my mom. Because of all of this, I didn’t dare write home about how awful I felt since I believed disobedience would put me in danger (or at best earn me some kind of punishment), and I didn’t need to stress out my worried family even further." - Landon's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/elementalepistles/
"I was one of the first people endowed in the Idaho Falls temple after the renovation, so it was a disorganized, confusing experience to say the least. I received no explanation of what to expect, and it was traumatizing to be expected to make huge promises without any indication beforehand of what those promises would be. Everything was disorienting, and all of my ordinances were performed “for and in behalf of Landon, who is dead.” It wasn’t until later that I learned they had a different script to read if it was a living ordinance, and I spent the rest of my time in the church wondering if my endowment was even valid. I became anxious that this was God’s punishment for some sin I hadn’t remembered to repent of, throwing away my shot at exaltation." - Landon's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/elementalepistles/
"I was one of the first people endowed in the Idaho Falls temple after the renovation, so it was a disorganized, confusing experience to say the least. I received no explanation of what to expect, and it was traumatizing to be expected to make huge promises without any indication beforehand of what those promises would be. Everything was disorienting, and all of my ordinances were performed “for and in behalf of Landon, who is dead.” It wasn’t until later that I learned they had a different script to read if it was a living ordinance, and I spent the rest of my time in the church wondering if my endowment was even valid. I became anxious that this was God’s punishment for some sin I hadn’t remembered to repent of, throwing away my shot at exaltation." - Landon's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/elementalepistles/
"In the same way the church assumed I wanted to be baptized and receive the priesthood, they assumed I wanted to serve a mission. It was made clear to me since primary that I would disappoint my parents and likely be berated or shunned by members if I didn’t serve. I was told I wouldn’t find a wife if I didn’t serve a mission, and I knew the young women in the church were taught to only date returned (with honor) missionaries. I attended mission preparation classes and went to the “mission prep” activities (where leaders taught us how to sew on a button or cook a grilled cheese sandwich), but I still felt unprepared. I had spent my whole life in the church, but I still felt that its doctrine was so convoluted that I couldn’t make sense of it. I had prayed about the Book of Mormon, Joseph Smith, and the truthfulness of the church. I never felt anything, but I figured God was holding off or I was not righteous enough to get a response. If everyone around me said the church was true, it must be. I received a phone call from the ward secretary asking when I would like to meet to start mission papers. When I arrived, I learned my papers had already been started. I was given a list of tasks to complete along with a deadline, and I was told what to set as my availability date." - Landon's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/elementalepistles/
"In the same way the church assumed I wanted to be baptized and receive the priesthood, they assumed I wanted to serve a mission. It was made clear to me since primary that I would disappoint my parents and likely be berated or shunned by members if I didn’t serve. I was told I wouldn’t find a wife if I didn’t serve a mission, and I knew the young women in the church were taught to only date returned (with honor) missionaries. I attended mission preparation classes and went to the “mission prep” activities (where leaders taught us how to sew on a button or cook a grilled cheese sandwich), but I still felt unprepared. I had spent my whole life in the church, but I still felt that its doctrine was so convoluted that I couldn’t make sense of it. I had prayed about the Book of Mormon, Joseph Smith, and the truthfulness of the church. I never felt anything, but I figured God was holding off or I was not righteous enough to get a response. If everyone around me said the church was true, it must be. I received a phone call from the ward secretary asking when I would like to meet to start mission papers. When I arrived, I learned my papers had already been started. I was given a list of tasks to complete along with a deadline, and I was told what to set as my availability date." - Landon's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/elementalepistles/
"I remember receiving praise from my family because I had made the decision to be baptized and receive the priesthood. I enjoyed the praise, but I don’t remember making any decision. The church simply expected me to want to participate. When I remember church in my early teenage years, the emotion that dominates my memories is fear. I was terrified of messing up, doing anything that wasn’t perfectly Christlike. I didn’t dare let myself have a crush on someone, since my leaders’ loose interpretation implied that being attracted to someone was as bad as murder. It was not until my 20s that I learned that this nervous voice in my head was clinical anxiety telling me I wasn’t good enough, not the Holy Ghost keeping me safe from sin." - Landon's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/elementalepistles/
"I remember receiving praise from my family because I had made the decision to be baptized and receive the priesthood. I enjoyed the praise, but I don’t remember making any decision. The church simply expected me to want to participate. When I remember church in my early teenage years, the emotion that dominates my memories is fear. I was terrified of messing up, doing anything that wasn’t perfectly Christlike. I didn’t dare let myself have a crush on someone, since my leaders’ loose interpretation implied that being attracted to someone was as bad as murder. It was not until my 20s that I learned that this nervous voice in my head was clinical anxiety telling me I wasn’t good enough, not the Holy Ghost keeping me safe from sin." - Landon's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/elementalepistles/
"I'm a computer engineering PhD student. I believe everyone is worthy and has inherent value. As I grew up, I did all the right things, as far as my young self could tell. All of my friends belonged to active families. I was baptized the day after my eighth birthday, and I started going to Cub Scouts that same week. I was encouraged to share my testimony in primary, and despite not understanding any of it, I recited the familiar lines: “I know the church is true, I know Heavenly Father loves me,” and so on. When I aged out of primary, this became second nature. I was a Mormon." - Landon's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/elementalepistles/
"I'm a computer engineering PhD student. I believe everyone is worthy and has inherent value. As I grew up, I did all the right things, as far as my young self could tell. All of my friends belonged to active families. I was baptized the day after my eighth birthday, and I started going to Cub Scouts that same week. I was encouraged to share my testimony in primary, and despite not understanding any of it, I recited the familiar lines: “I know the church is true, I know Heavenly Father loves me,” and so on. When I aged out of primary, this became second nature. I was a Mormon." - Landon's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/elementalepistles/
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/blackheart/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/blackheart/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
"I wrote a letter to the church and told them everything. I told them that I wanted the sealing canceled and that if they wanted this type of person in the church, it was their business. All I received back was a letter stating that it was canceled, and the kidnappers continued to go to church and hide behind it. As much as the Mormon church talks about families, they do not care about families. Since that time, I have changed my name because I will not carry on Jean’s fourth husband's last name. I also did an adult adoption of my biological father. I completed a Bachelor of Science in Criminal Justice and am currently working on getting a Master of Business Administration." - Max's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/blackheart/
"I wrote a letter to the church and told them everything. I told them that I wanted the sealing canceled and that if they wanted this type of person in the church, it was their business. All I received back was a letter stating that it was canceled, and the kidnappers continued to go to church and hide behind it. As much as the Mormon church talks about families, they do not care about families. Since that time, I have changed my name because I will not carry on Jean’s fourth husband's last name. I also did an adult adoption of my biological father. I completed a Bachelor of Science in Criminal Justice and am currently working on getting a Master of Business Administration." - Max's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/blackheart/
"I reached out to family and friends, Mormon church leaders, and law enforcement with all of this information for help. With family and friends, they either did not want to deal with Jean or tried to gaslight me into thinking that I should be okay with it. They failed to understand or see from my view how it destroyed me and my family. The Mormon Church counseled some of the people to “don’t get involved.” I resigned from the Mormon Church, effectively canceling all of the blessings that had been given to me. I knew that somewhere down that line, after I die, someone was going to do a baptism for the dead in my name. Because of this, I would be sealed again to the individuals who kidnapped me." - Max's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/blackheart/
"I reached out to family and friends, Mormon church leaders, and law enforcement with all of this information for help. With family and friends, they either did not want to deal with Jean or tried to gaslight me into thinking that I should be okay with it. They failed to understand or see from my view how it destroyed me and my family. The Mormon Church counseled some of the people to “don’t get involved.” I resigned from the Mormon Church, effectively canceling all of the blessings that had been given to me. I knew that somewhere down that line, after I die, someone was going to do a baptism for the dead in my name. Because of this, I would be sealed again to the individuals who kidnapped me." - Max's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/blackheart/
"I spent a month calling people to get information; some were willing to work with me, and others denied knowing anything. From everything that I gathered and from knowing how Jean operated, this is what I have been able to determine. Jean (my grandmother) got married to her fourth husband, and he really wanted a son to carry on his name. But Jean was to old and not able to have any more children, so when my mother, Susan, got pregnant with me, they ran my biological father off. Jean being a manipulative individual, she and her husband put their names on my birth certificate." - Max's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/blackheart/
"I spent a month calling people to get information; some were willing to work with me, and others denied knowing anything. From everything that I gathered and from knowing how Jean operated, this is what I have been able to determine. Jean (my grandmother) got married to her fourth husband, and he really wanted a son to carry on his name. But Jean was to old and not able to have any more children, so when my mother, Susan, got pregnant with me, they ran my biological father off. Jean being a manipulative individual, she and her husband put their names on my birth certificate." - Max's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/blackheart/
"I called my sister Jennifer, in a nutshell I was gaslighted and told that if it was true, I should be grateful to Jean and her husband for raising me, and she let it slip that she had known since she was about sixteen years old. She knew that Jean and Martin were not her real parents either. I called my father the next day, and he denied everything. From that moment on, I started to track down and contact anybody that I knew who might have information about why I was never told. Growing up, I never felt truly loved by my parents; I always felt that I was a burden to Jean and to my father. So, for me, if there was a logical answer, I was more than happy to hear it." - Max's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/blackheart/
"I called my sister Jennifer, in a nutshell I was gaslighted and told that if it was true, I should be grateful to Jean and her husband for raising me, and she let it slip that she had known since she was about sixteen years old. She knew that Jean and Martin were not her real parents either. I called my father the next day, and he denied everything. From that moment on, I started to track down and contact anybody that I knew who might have information about why I was never told. Growing up, I never felt truly loved by my parents; I always felt that I was a burden to Jean and to my father. So, for me, if there was a logical answer, I was more than happy to hear it." - Max's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/blackheart/
"In February of 2017, at the age of forty, my whole world was turned upside down. Earl reached out to me and told me that we needed to talk – because we were siblings. I had not talked to Earl in over twenty years, and I did not trust him because Jean had put the idea in my head that he was not to be trusted. Growing up, I heard from Kathy that Jean and her husband were not my real parents and that Susan was my real mother. I never believed any of this because I trusted my parents and why would my parents lie to me? Any time I would ask them, they would call Kathy a liar and say she was making things up. Kathy’s own kids have been told this, and they never believe her either. At the same time, I had an uncle on my father’s side come visit me. My wife had numerous discussions about this topic and decided to ask him if any of the rumors were true. He was flabbergasted that I asked him that question because he thought I knew. The lies that Kathy was saying for all those years were true, and Susan was my real mother. I was devastated." - Max's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/blackheart/
"In February of 2017, at the age of forty, my whole world was turned upside down. Earl reached out to me and told me that we needed to talk – because we were siblings. I had not talked to Earl in over twenty years, and I did not trust him because Jean had put the idea in my head that he was not to be trusted. Growing up, I heard from Kathy that Jean and her husband were not my real parents and that Susan was my real mother. I never believed any of this because I trusted my parents and why would my parents lie to me? Any time I would ask them, they would call Kathy a liar and say she was making things up. Kathy’s own kids have been told this, and they never believe her either. At the same time, I had an uncle on my father’s side come visit me. My wife had numerous discussions about this topic and decided to ask him if any of the rumors were true. He was flabbergasted that I asked him that question because he thought I knew. The lies that Kathy was saying for all those years were true, and Susan was my real mother. I was devastated." - Max's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/blackheart/
"At the age of nineteen, I was told I was going on a mission, and I did not want to. I wanted to join the military. This went against Jean’s wants and told me that I was going “to serve in God’s army”. I was miserable and told myself that I would never listen to what Jean wanted me to do again. When I got home, I met my wife, and eventually married and had two kids. Eventually we moved to another state for work. In 2013, two months after the fact, I found out that Susan had passed away. I called my parents and asked why I was not told, and Jean just laughed about it and was smug on the phone. She was not invited to her daughter’s funeral, and there was a restraining order against her, so she was not even allowed to go, even if she wanted to go. I thought it was odd, but I had stopped trying to communicate with her many years ago unless I had to. I understood that my family was dysfunctional, but that was all I knew." - Max's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/blackheart/
"At the age of nineteen, I was told I was going on a mission, and I did not want to. I wanted to join the military. This went against Jean’s wants and told me that I was going “to serve in God’s army”. I was miserable and told myself that I would never listen to what Jean wanted me to do again. When I got home, I met my wife, and eventually married and had two kids. Eventually we moved to another state for work. In 2013, two months after the fact, I found out that Susan had passed away. I called my parents and asked why I was not told, and Jean just laughed about it and was smug on the phone. She was not invited to her daughter’s funeral, and there was a restraining order against her, so she was not even allowed to go, even if she wanted to go. I thought it was odd, but I had stopped trying to communicate with her many years ago unless I had to. I understood that my family was dysfunctional, but that was all I knew." - Max's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/blackheart/
"Jean was also a liar and a thief. She was running a shoplifting ring with her daughters, Susan, Kathy, and Jennifer. One of them would go into a store, bring them out to the car, and then someone else would take the item back into the store and ask for a cash refund. During this time, I was forced to go to church, and we became the ideal Mormon family. I absolutely despised going to church because I was told that if I “do what is right, I will be blessed.” This went against everything that I saw at home. Because Jean was shoplifting and manipulating people behind closed doors then being rewarded, it never made sense to me. Around the age of ten, my family was sealed in the Manti Temple as an eternal family. That would not only be together in this life but into the next." - Max's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/blackheart/
"Jean was also a liar and a thief. She was running a shoplifting ring with her daughters, Susan, Kathy, and Jennifer. One of them would go into a store, bring them out to the car, and then someone else would take the item back into the store and ask for a cash refund. During this time, I was forced to go to church, and we became the ideal Mormon family. I absolutely despised going to church because I was told that if I “do what is right, I will be blessed.” This went against everything that I saw at home. Because Jean was shoplifting and manipulating people behind closed doors then being rewarded, it never made sense to me. Around the age of ten, my family was sealed in the Manti Temple as an eternal family. That would not only be together in this life but into the next." - Max's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/blackheart/
"I grew up in a very narcissistic environment where Jean (mom) was the controlling party, and if you did not do what she said, there was going to be hell to pay, and she would find ways to punish you. She controlled everything in my life and also her other children’s lives. I was only allowed to do things that she could control or that made her look good. Jean had two different personalities. In public, she acted like a devoted wife and mother who wanted the best for her family, and then behind closed doors, she was a miserable person who did not want anybody (especially her kids) to be better than her." - Max's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/blackheart/
"I grew up in a very narcissistic environment where Jean (mom) was the controlling party, and if you did not do what she said, there was going to be hell to pay, and she would find ways to punish you. She controlled everything in my life and also her other children’s lives. I was only allowed to do things that she could control or that made her look good. Jean had two different personalities. In public, she acted like a devoted wife and mother who wanted the best for her family, and then behind closed doors, she was a miserable person who did not want anybody (especially her kids) to be better than her." - Max's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/blackheart/
"I did all of the typical Mormon things growing up. Becoming an Eagle Scout and getting my patriarchal blessing. In my blessing, it stated that I would “take care of my parents in their declining years." I grew up in Utah in a Mormon family with a mother (Jean), and father (Martin), and one sister (Jennifer) who was ten years older than me. I also had step siblings that were 15-20 years older than me. My step siblings (Susan and Kathie) have kids, and their kids are around the same age as me. I was their uncle, and it just never seemed right, and even at a young age, I recognized it. In February of 2017, my whole world, as I know it was changed forever. I found out that the individuals that I called mom and dad for over forty years were not my real parents! I was a Mormon." - Max's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/blackheart/
"I did all of the typical Mormon things growing up. Becoming an Eagle Scout and getting my patriarchal blessing. In my blessing, it stated that I would “take care of my parents in their declining years." I grew up in Utah in a Mormon family with a mother (Jean), and father (Martin), and one sister (Jennifer) who was ten years older than me. I also had step siblings that were 15-20 years older than me. My step siblings (Susan and Kathie) have kids, and their kids are around the same age as me. I was their uncle, and it just never seemed right, and even at a young age, I recognized it. In February of 2017, my whole world, as I know it was changed forever. I found out that the individuals that I called mom and dad for over forty years were not my real parents! I was a Mormon." - Max's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/blackheart/

Escaping the Matrix: Breaking Free from the Illusions of the Mormon Church

Have you seen the 1999 film, The Matrix? The Matrix is an excellent movie for deconstruction. Anyone familiar with The Matrix trilogy knows it presents a complex philosophical and even religious worldview. Even ordinary people, who had no education in philosophy, metaphysics, or neuroscience, came away from viewing those fanciful stories, asking themselves, “What is …

Continue reading “Escaping the Matrix: Breaking Free from the Illusions of the Mormon Church”

This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/byron-marchant/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/byron-marchant/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
"A few years ago I summarized my story in a letter I sent to President Russell M. Nelson. I have not received any response from any church leaders regarding my letter. I can conclude that LDS Church leaders are in awe of what can be accomplished when members and former members, along with non LDS associates, work as a well oiled machine to defeat false nonsense." - Byron's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/byron-marchant/
"A few years ago I summarized my story in a letter I sent to President Russell M. Nelson. I have not received any response from any church leaders regarding my letter. I can conclude that LDS Church leaders are in awe of what can be accomplished when members and former members, along with non LDS associates, work as a well oiled machine to defeat false nonsense." - Byron's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/byron-marchant/
"Mormonism is a hoax. Though I no longer believe my youthful Mormon mythology, I will be ever grateful for the contributions of the (to use an Anthropological term) "Mormon Tribal Community" wherein I learned the many lessons from this cultural milieu of my youth that have served me." - Byron's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/byron-marchant/
"Mormonism is a hoax. Though I no longer believe my youthful Mormon mythology, I will be ever grateful for the contributions of the (to use an Anthropological term) "Mormon Tribal Community" wherein I learned the many lessons from this cultural milieu of my youth that have served me." - Byron's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/byron-marchant/
"Realizing there was no historical foundation to support any 1820 First Vision was crucial to my LDS Faith investigations, resulting in my belief that The Old Testament, The New Testament and The Book of Mormon are all fiction. Anyone who wishes to convince me otherwise will need to first go through the Old Testament which cannot be considered as reliable evidence (lacking the required archaeological support) for what allegedly had happened in ancient Israel. I became an atheist when I learned of three French and German scholars, Jean-Baptiste Mirabaud, Baron d’Holbach and Bruno Bauer. The first two wrote and published Système de la Nature (System of Nature) and Bauer wrote Christus und die Cäsaren (Christ and The Caesars), which was originally published in 1877." - Byron's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/byron-marchant/
"Realizing there was no historical foundation to support any 1820 First Vision was crucial to my LDS Faith investigations, resulting in my belief that The Old Testament, The New Testament and The Book of Mormon are all fiction. Anyone who wishes to convince me otherwise will need to first go through the Old Testament which cannot be considered as reliable evidence (lacking the required archaeological support) for what allegedly had happened in ancient Israel. I became an atheist when I learned of three French and German scholars, Jean-Baptiste Mirabaud, Baron d’Holbach and Bruno Bauer. The first two wrote and published Système de la Nature (System of Nature) and Bauer wrote Christus und die Cäsaren (Christ and The Caesars), which was originally published in 1877." - Byron's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/byron-marchant/
"Myself, John W. Fitzgerald, Douglas A. Wallace, and attorney Brian M. Barnard, as dedicated gadflies during that period of time (1970-1978), acting as a team brought attention to the falsehood of the 1969 policy letter, thereby resulting in the 9 June 1978 change." - Byron's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/byron-marchant/
"Myself, John W. Fitzgerald, Douglas A. Wallace, and attorney Brian M. Barnard, as dedicated gadflies during that period of time (1970-1978), acting as a team brought attention to the falsehood of the 1969 policy letter, thereby resulting in the 9 June 1978 change." - Byron's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/byron-marchant/
"My belief in Mormonism was on the decline in October 1977, influenced in part through discovering Smith’s signature on Able’s 1836 Ordination License in August 1977 and reading the 1977 “Spalding Enigma” book. By then I was acquainted with John Fitzgerald, Doug Wallace and Vernal Holley. In fact, I probably learned about the book, Who Really Wrote the Book of Mormon, from Vern Holley. In my studies through the 1980s, I wrote a paper for an anthropology class called “Mormon Exaggerations”. The 1986 Signature Books publication, Dale Morgan On Early Mormonism, edited by John Walker, was an eye opener for me (especially chapter 3). Some of my pissed-off relatives decided to steal my Social Security Survivor’s Benefits and use it to bribe and kidnap our (their deceased mother and me) two young (12 and 16 years old) daughters." - Byron's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/byron-marchant/
"My belief in Mormonism was on the decline in October 1977, influenced in part through discovering Smith’s signature on Able’s 1836 Ordination License in August 1977 and reading the 1977 “Spalding Enigma” book. By then I was acquainted with John Fitzgerald, Doug Wallace and Vernal Holley. In fact, I probably learned about the book, Who Really Wrote the Book of Mormon, from Vern Holley. In my studies through the 1980s, I wrote a paper for an anthropology class called “Mormon Exaggerations”. The 1986 Signature Books publication, Dale Morgan On Early Mormonism, edited by John Walker, was an eye opener for me (especially chapter 3). Some of my pissed-off relatives decided to steal my Social Security Survivor’s Benefits and use it to bribe and kidnap our (their deceased mother and me) two young (12 and 16 years old) daughters." - Byron's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/byron-marchant/
"In 1978 the church changed their policy of banning the priesthood from blacks. My wife passed away in September 1979, but we celebrated the 9 June 1978 LDS black priesthood change together. My 7 June 1978 lawsuit against Kimball happened at the right time to show that it was THE pivotal push over the edge. The LDS Church could not admit to having made a mistake so they covered the whole thing up until 2013 when they finally published the news which I had told them about in 1977 as a Gospel Topic Essay." - Byron's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/byron-marchant/
"In 1978 the church changed their policy of banning the priesthood from blacks. My wife passed away in September 1979, but we celebrated the 9 June 1978 LDS black priesthood change together. My 7 June 1978 lawsuit against Kimball happened at the right time to show that it was THE pivotal push over the edge. The LDS Church could not admit to having made a mistake so they covered the whole thing up until 2013 when they finally published the news which I had told them about in 1977 as a Gospel Topic Essay." - Byron's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/byron-marchant/
"N. E. Tanner was wrong in the 1969 First Presidency Letter. I publicly opposed him and explained why, but he never recanted his statment, even after it was shown to be false. His statement is false because Joseph Smith signed the 1836 Elijah Able Ordination License, which proves Joseph Smith didn't teach the priesthood ban. The church apostle, Nathan Eldon Tanner, was found to be lying, but I was the one excommunicated. Rather than the church appreciating the correction, I was kicked out for speaking truth and pointing out the incorrect statement of the church leaders. In the 1977 excommunication trial, I was not allowed to present my “Accused” defense, so the excommunication did not follow the prescribed procedure and should not be valid." - Byron's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/byron-marchant/
"N. E. Tanner was wrong in the 1969 First Presidency Letter. I publicly opposed him and explained why, but he never recanted his statment, even after it was shown to be false. His statement is false because Joseph Smith signed the 1836 Elijah Able Ordination License, which proves Joseph Smith didn't teach the priesthood ban. The church apostle, Nathan Eldon Tanner, was found to be lying, but I was the one excommunicated. Rather than the church appreciating the correction, I was kicked out for speaking truth and pointing out the incorrect statement of the church leaders. In the 1977 excommunication trial, I was not allowed to present my “Accused” defense, so the excommunication did not follow the prescribed procedure and should not be valid." - Byron's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/byron-marchant/
"In October 1977, I voted not to sustain N. Eldon Tanner in the Tabernacle, it was because he lied when he put his signature on a 15 December 1969 First Presidency letter which states "From the beginning of this dispensation, Joseph Smith and all succeeding presidents of the Church have taught that Negroes, while spirit children of a common Father, and the progeny of our earthly parents Adam and Eve, were not yet to receive the priesthood." The 1969 statement was historically false, because Joseph Smith in 1836 had signed the Elijah Able Elder License." - Byron's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/byron-marchant/
"In October 1977, I voted not to sustain N. Eldon Tanner in the Tabernacle, it was because he lied when he put his signature on a 15 December 1969 First Presidency letter which states "From the beginning of this dispensation, Joseph Smith and all succeeding presidents of the Church have taught that Negroes, while spirit children of a common Father, and the progeny of our earthly parents Adam and Eve, were not yet to receive the priesthood." The 1969 statement was historically false, because Joseph Smith in 1836 had signed the Elijah Able Elder License." - Byron's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/byron-marchant/