Tag Archives: I Was a Mormon

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"I don't know what changed, but it was probably due to peer pressure from family and friends that that stage didn't last long. I threw myself full on into the church the way my family wanted. I went to BYU for my undergrad, served in young single adult relief society presidencies, and even took out my endowments at 21 without serving a mission or being engaged. I was the kind of person who would have spiritual talks with my friends for fun and would even go sit on the temple grounds singing hymns together." - Olivia's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/livandletlive/
"I don't know what changed, but it was probably due to peer pressure from family and friends that that stage didn't last long. I threw myself full on into the church the way my family wanted. I went to BYU for my undergrad, served in young single adult relief society presidencies, and even took out my endowments at 21 without serving a mission or being engaged. I was the kind of person who would have spiritual talks with my friends for fun and would even go sit on the temple grounds singing hymns together." - Olivia's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/livandletlive/
"It was some relief that church was canceled in person during covid. However, the real issue was that I was still attending BYU at that point. I knew I couldn't bring myself to go to church again with how angry I was, and so I had a plan - I chose to work my one, 24 hour shift a week on Sundays, pretending I had no choice but to work that day due to scheduling. It was only because of this, and finding new community volunteering as an EMT on campus, that I survived those final couple years at BYU. I lost all the friends I had apart from coworkers and fellow volunteers, including friendships I'd had since before I could remember. But I made it out." - Olivia's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/livandletlive/
"It was some relief that church was canceled in person during covid. However, the real issue was that I was still attending BYU at that point. I knew I couldn't bring myself to go to church again with how angry I was, and so I had a plan - I chose to work my one, 24 hour shift a week on Sundays, pretending I had no choice but to work that day due to scheduling. It was only because of this, and finding new community volunteering as an EMT on campus, that I survived those final couple years at BYU. I lost all the friends I had apart from coworkers and fellow volunteers, including friendships I'd had since before I could remember. But I made it out." - Olivia's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/livandletlive/
"That stage didn't last long. My shelf was already splintering. One day in my research, I came across the story of Sam Young and his Protect LDS Children campaign. That was the real beginning of the end for me, and within a matter of days, my shelf was broken. I learned things about the church I'd never known before, I found To A Mormon Man, Letter For My Wife, the CES Letter. It was all over. Most importantly, I got tired of trying to cut off the pieces of myself that would never fit into the box the church had designated for me." - Olivia's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/livandletlive/
"That stage didn't last long. My shelf was already splintering. One day in my research, I came across the story of Sam Young and his Protect LDS Children campaign. That was the real beginning of the end for me, and within a matter of days, my shelf was broken. I learned things about the church I'd never known before, I found To A Mormon Man, Letter For My Wife, the CES Letter. It was all over. Most importantly, I got tired of trying to cut off the pieces of myself that would never fit into the box the church had designated for me." - Olivia's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/livandletlive/
"When I was a teenager, I had a typical rebellious phase where I didn't want to be involved in anything church related. I remember fighting with my parents because I was supposed to go do baptisms for the dead for mutual and I was refusing to go. Eventually I lashed out and yelled at them that I wouldn't go because I didn't believe. Back then, however, that was a lie - I always thought to myself during that stage of my life that I 'knew' it was true but that I wished it wasn't. Spirituality brought me no joy and I always felt like everyone was just faking it as they went because that's what I was doing. I hated church activities and my parents getting me to voluntarily participate in things like scripture study was like pulling molars." - Olivia's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/livandletlive/
"When I was a teenager, I had a typical rebellious phase where I didn't want to be involved in anything church related. I remember fighting with my parents because I was supposed to go do baptisms for the dead for mutual and I was refusing to go. Eventually I lashed out and yelled at them that I wouldn't go because I didn't believe. Back then, however, that was a lie - I always thought to myself during that stage of my life that I 'knew' it was true but that I wished it wasn't. Spirituality brought me no joy and I always felt like everyone was just faking it as they went because that's what I was doing. I hated church activities and my parents getting me to voluntarily participate in things like scripture study was like pulling molars." - Olivia's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/livandletlive/
"I graduated without being caught by the Honor Code Office, and I've never looked back. I went to UVU to get my paramedic license and I currently work as both a firefighter and a paramedic with many of my coworkers also being ex mormon. The things I've seen in my admittedly short career have, to me, confirmed the lack of a caring higher power I was raised to believe in." - Olivia's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/livandletlive/
"I graduated without being caught by the Honor Code Office, and I've never looked back. I went to UVU to get my paramedic license and I currently work as both a firefighter and a paramedic with many of my coworkers also being ex mormon. The things I've seen in my admittedly short career have, to me, confirmed the lack of a caring higher power I was raised to believe in." - Olivia's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/livandletlive/
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find Rosana's full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/rosanna1818/. There are hundreds more stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find Rosana's full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/rosanna1818/. There are hundreds more stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
"I believe that the childhood trauma that my mother experienced caused mental illness and resentment. Those experiences combined with the Mormon culture developed into abusive situations. My mother’s temper and emotions always seemed to rule our household. I’ve always known her to be emotionally distant, rarely nurturing or comforting especially with me and I can remember this treatment as early as 6 years old. The dysfunction in my close family became readily apparent during my teens. Backhanded compliments, silent treatment and passive aggressiveness towards me was a daily occurrence from my mother. I began to notice the contrasting behavior my mother had outside of the home. Smiling and pleasant as if there were no issues." - Rosana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/rosanna1818/
"I believe that the childhood trauma that my mother experienced caused mental illness and resentment. Those experiences combined with the Mormon culture developed into abusive situations. My mother’s temper and emotions always seemed to rule our household. I’ve always known her to be emotionally distant, rarely nurturing or comforting especially with me and I can remember this treatment as early as 6 years old. The dysfunction in my close family became readily apparent during my teens. Backhanded compliments, silent treatment and passive aggressiveness towards me was a daily occurrence from my mother. I began to notice the contrasting behavior my mother had outside of the home. Smiling and pleasant as if there were no issues." - Rosana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/rosanna1818/
"During my teens we lived in an undesirable house. It was not the typical cookie cutter Mormon family house and it was, at best a fixer upper. I believe that’s when my mother’s mental health turned for the worst because she couldn’t fit in and get the life she wanted fast enough. She wanted the cookie cutter Mormon life with a large house in a neighborhood and to have lots more children than what she had. All our anxieties were focused on the threat of going without essentials and I remember shameful periods of time that our electricity was actually shut off. Taking showers surrounded by mold and without any light while my mother pretended that nothing was wrong was very difficult." - Rosana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/rosanna1818/
"During my teens we lived in an undesirable house. It was not the typical cookie cutter Mormon family house and it was, at best a fixer upper. I believe that’s when my mother’s mental health turned for the worst because she couldn’t fit in and get the life she wanted fast enough. She wanted the cookie cutter Mormon life with a large house in a neighborhood and to have lots more children than what she had. All our anxieties were focused on the threat of going without essentials and I remember shameful periods of time that our electricity was actually shut off. Taking showers surrounded by mold and without any light while my mother pretended that nothing was wrong was very difficult." - Rosana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/rosanna1818/
"My family has consistently struggled financially. When my brother and I were children my mother didn’t work and stayed at home as the Mormon religion promotes. My father always worked and his goal seemed to be focused on providing for his family. He had ambitions and was impressive in my eyes especially since he originated from a poor farm in Delta, Utah to becoming a refined car sales man in Salt Lake City." - Rosana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/rosanna1818/
"My family has consistently struggled financially. When my brother and I were children my mother didn’t work and stayed at home as the Mormon religion promotes. My father always worked and his goal seemed to be focused on providing for his family. He had ambitions and was impressive in my eyes especially since he originated from a poor farm in Delta, Utah to becoming a refined car sales man in Salt Lake City." - Rosana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/rosanna1818/
"My father rarely attended church or activities in my teens. Our congregation and neighborhood consisted of families who were well off and secure in their finances who also had large families with lots of children. I believe the shame my father learned from his peers and the stark differences in family dynamics made a very uncomfortable environment for him. I believe that he was pressured and shamed by my mother because she was demanding for him alone to provide her fantasy life. In the Mormon culture I learned to judge and fear those people who are not part of the Mormon faith. I never viewed my father in a negative way, I had empathy for him and I trusted him. My mother made it vocally clear that the congregation especially the bishopric were pressuring her to convince my father to attend church and that she was frustrated and uncomfortable with it." - Rosana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/rosanna1818/
"My father rarely attended church or activities in my teens. Our congregation and neighborhood consisted of families who were well off and secure in their finances who also had large families with lots of children. I believe the shame my father learned from his peers and the stark differences in family dynamics made a very uncomfortable environment for him. I believe that he was pressured and shamed by my mother because she was demanding for him alone to provide her fantasy life. In the Mormon culture I learned to judge and fear those people who are not part of the Mormon faith. I never viewed my father in a negative way, I had empathy for him and I trusted him. My mother made it vocally clear that the congregation especially the bishopric were pressuring her to convince my father to attend church and that she was frustrated and uncomfortable with it." - Rosana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/rosanna1818/
"Both my parents grew up Mormon and so I inherited their beliefs by default. I was born and raised in Utah where my family was actively involved and attended the church and their activities consistently. My mother grew up in a large Mormon family being one of 12 children and my dad was also one of 9 children who grew up as Mormon. Needless to say they both suffered in their childhoods due to financial strains and a lack of nurturing attention. Looking back now, I had the same upbringing. I was a Mormon." - Rosana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/rosanna1818/
"Both my parents grew up Mormon and so I inherited their beliefs by default. I was born and raised in Utah where my family was actively involved and attended the church and their activities consistently. My mother grew up in a large Mormon family being one of 12 children and my dad was also one of 9 children who grew up as Mormon. Needless to say they both suffered in their childhoods due to financial strains and a lack of nurturing attention. Looking back now, I had the same upbringing. I was a Mormon." - Rosana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/rosanna1818/
"When I was in middle school my mother’s emotional abuse escalated towards me enough for her to start a physical fight once, I tried to fight her but ended up running off the property. I never fit in with my community and never considered anyone, any neighbors a true ally. I felt alone without any support. No one ever talked to me about my family issues. No one saw my mother’s abuse." - Rosana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/rosanna1818/
"When I was in middle school my mother’s emotional abuse escalated towards me enough for her to start a physical fight once, I tried to fight her but ended up running off the property. I never fit in with my community and never considered anyone, any neighbors a true ally. I felt alone without any support. No one ever talked to me about my family issues. No one saw my mother’s abuse." - Rosana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/rosanna1818/
"This is just the tip of the iceberg. It would take me through a temple marriage and a divorce, cutting ties with my family and up until age 28 to finally say “Enough!” and walk away from the torture of the Mormon religion. Realistic conversations, belief struggles and mental health topics need to be more common in any religion. Heaven knows it would have helped me." - Rosana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/rosanna1818/
"This is just the tip of the iceberg. It would take me through a temple marriage and a divorce, cutting ties with my family and up until age 28 to finally say “Enough!” and walk away from the torture of the Mormon religion. Realistic conversations, belief struggles and mental health topics need to be more common in any religion. Heaven knows it would have helped me." - Rosana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/rosanna1818/
"I was constantly told who I was supposed to be in this life, how I was supposed to act and feel and that never aligned with my soul. I was told to date a certain way, to get married a specific way to a specific type of person and I was supposed to make babies. I felt pressure to conform to church standards and believe things that I didn’t care about. I knew from a young age that I never wanted to birth children, I never wanted to be a mother… just look at the one I had. I was constantly told that bringing souls to earth was my overall life purpose by my church leaders. It was even in my patriarchal blessing! My mother always felt burdened by her kids except when it came to the topic of giving her grandchildren. She felt entitled to a better life but was unable or unwilling to go get it. I wasn’t going to follow her footsteps. I didn’t want to be with my family together forever." - Rosana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/rosanna1818/
"I was constantly told who I was supposed to be in this life, how I was supposed to act and feel and that never aligned with my soul. I was told to date a certain way, to get married a specific way to a specific type of person and I was supposed to make babies. I felt pressure to conform to church standards and believe things that I didn’t care about. I knew from a young age that I never wanted to birth children, I never wanted to be a mother… just look at the one I had. I was constantly told that bringing souls to earth was my overall life purpose by my church leaders. It was even in my patriarchal blessing! My mother always felt burdened by her kids except when it came to the topic of giving her grandchildren. She felt entitled to a better life but was unable or unwilling to go get it. I wasn’t going to follow her footsteps. I didn’t want to be with my family together forever." - Rosana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/rosanna1818/
"I never liked church starting at the primary age. It was boring with weird stories with weird names and was a confusing language. Listening to the congregation sing was depressing it sounded like torture not a celebration of worship. I had crippling shyness and I didn’t like singing and I didn’t like dresses and I always felt pressure from my peers and the culture to be outgoing and share my testimony boldly. There weren’t real discussions about struggling with my beliefs or my family issues. The main message that came across was fitting in, being loyal and having strong faith. It seemed unacceptable if you or your family doubted any beliefs or weren’t fitting the Mormon mold." - Rosana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/rosanna1818/
"I never liked church starting at the primary age. It was boring with weird stories with weird names and was a confusing language. Listening to the congregation sing was depressing it sounded like torture not a celebration of worship. I had crippling shyness and I didn’t like singing and I didn’t like dresses and I always felt pressure from my peers and the culture to be outgoing and share my testimony boldly. There weren’t real discussions about struggling with my beliefs or my family issues. The main message that came across was fitting in, being loyal and having strong faith. It seemed unacceptable if you or your family doubted any beliefs or weren’t fitting the Mormon mold." - Rosana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/rosanna1818/
"I'm so grateful I chose myself and love and I'm so grateful for the exmormon community. I've been able to process and heal and deconstruct so much pain and harmful ideologies because of this community. Now, I feel loved, worthy, accepted and saved. I believe in Love, justice, reparations, and land back." - Savi's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/savi1lavy/
"I'm so grateful I chose myself and love and I'm so grateful for the exmormon community. I've been able to process and heal and deconstruct so much pain and harmful ideologies because of this community. Now, I feel loved, worthy, accepted and saved. I believe in Love, justice, reparations, and land back." - Savi's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/savi1lavy/
"I grew up in a devoted Mormon family and went to school where the majority of kids were also Mormon. I went to church weekly, mutual, and participated in baptisms for the dead. I prayed throughout the day and read the Book of Mormon multiple times. Every margin was inked with my thoughts and insights. I enjoy reading, writing, and hiking. I was a Mormon." - Savi's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/savi1lavy/
"I grew up in a devoted Mormon family and went to school where the majority of kids were also Mormon. I went to church weekly, mutual, and participated in baptisms for the dead. I prayed throughout the day and read the Book of Mormon multiple times. Every margin was inked with my thoughts and insights. I enjoy reading, writing, and hiking. I was a Mormon." - Savi's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/savi1lavy/
"I left before I knew the church wasn't true. I left thinking I was causing my eternal family suffering by my departure. I had to if I was going to survive. I was having panic attacks going to church. The mental torture of not being perfect, not feeling worthy, not being straight, and falling in love with an atheist and wanting to be with them was a constant loop of shame and depression and longing." - Savi's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/savi1lavy/
"I left before I knew the church wasn't true. I left thinking I was causing my eternal family suffering by my departure. I had to if I was going to survive. I was having panic attacks going to church. The mental torture of not being perfect, not feeling worthy, not being straight, and falling in love with an atheist and wanting to be with them was a constant loop of shame and depression and longing." - Savi's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/savi1lavy/
"The temple ceremonies were heartbreaking and not trauma informed or prevented. Joseph Smith and his young child brides, the sexual assaults that were hidden, tithing, sexism, same sex marriage, the erasure of Native Americans, the antisemitism, and colonization - all of it. Too much of the church didn't align with my morals or the world I wanted to live in - or could survive in." - Savi's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/savi1lavy/
"The temple ceremonies were heartbreaking and not trauma informed or prevented. Joseph Smith and his young child brides, the sexual assaults that were hidden, tithing, sexism, same sex marriage, the erasure of Native Americans, the antisemitism, and colonization - all of it. Too much of the church didn't align with my morals or the world I wanted to live in - or could survive in." - Savi's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/savi1lavy/
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find Savi's full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/savi1lavy/. There are hundreds more stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find Savi's full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/savi1lavy/. There are hundreds more stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
"I started to research and listen to the experiences of others who left. The racism in the church went so much deeper than I was taught and it disgusted me. I knew then, that the racism alone was enough for me to leave, but I kept diving in deeper." - Savi's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/savi1lavy/
"I started to research and listen to the experiences of others who left. The racism in the church went so much deeper than I was taught and it disgusted me. I knew then, that the racism alone was enough for me to leave, but I kept diving in deeper." - Savi's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/savi1lavy/
"I left so I could relax my mind and get away from all the pressure. I wanted to live more than I wanted to take the sacrament and the blessings that were promised to follow someday. Stepping away opened my eyes to genuine kindness and happiness without strings attached. Even with some guilt still, I felt I finally had permission to truly ask myself what my morals and standards were and I realized most of them didn't align with the church." - Savi's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/savi1lavy/
"I left so I could relax my mind and get away from all the pressure. I wanted to live more than I wanted to take the sacrament and the blessings that were promised to follow someday. Stepping away opened my eyes to genuine kindness and happiness without strings attached. Even with some guilt still, I felt I finally had permission to truly ask myself what my morals and standards were and I realized most of them didn't align with the church." - Savi's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/savi1lavy/
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/feebeedee/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/feebeedee/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
2024: My husband has now broken away from Mormonism! I am super happy for him (and us). What did it? Despite many things, even evidence, that I brought forward over the years, it was the Mormon Stories episodes with Dr. Ritner that woke him up! - Fiona's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/feebeedee/
2024: My husband has now broken away from Mormonism! I am super happy for him (and us). What did it? Despite many things, even evidence, that I brought forward over the years, it was the Mormon Stories episodes with Dr. Ritner that woke him up! - Fiona's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/feebeedee/
2023: It's been painful witnessing my TBM's denials and deeply ingrained indoctrination, even despite the profound evidence, the programming is keeping him there. I absolutely despise the lies!! - Fiona's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/feebeedee/
2023: It's been painful witnessing my TBM's denials and deeply ingrained indoctrination, even despite the profound evidence, the programming is keeping him there. I absolutely despise the lies!! - Fiona's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/feebeedee/
2014: I married a Mormon, realizing relatively soon that there were events, issues and historical accounts that just didn't add up. Including temple ordinances–the first Endowment session had me reeling with absolute doubt! I literally felt the evil. - Fiona's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/feebeedee/
2014: I married a Mormon, realizing relatively soon that there were events, issues and historical accounts that just didn't add up. Including temple ordinances–the first Endowment session had me reeling with absolute doubt! I literally felt the evil. - Fiona's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/feebeedee/
I'm naturally an investigative person who asks questions and needs to make logical connections regarding rational reasoning alongside any form of historical claims. I despise gaslighting and euphemistic language that controls people. I travelled down the appropriate rabbit holes... the rest is history... literally! I was, for a time, a Mormon. - Fiona's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/feebeedee/
I'm naturally an investigative person who asks questions and needs to make logical connections regarding rational reasoning alongside any form of historical claims. I despise gaslighting and euphemistic language that controls people. I travelled down the appropriate rabbit holes... the rest is history... literally! I was, for a time, a Mormon. - Fiona's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/feebeedee/