René Was a Mormon, an Ex-Mormon Story Spotlight

René was Mormon through and through. Married a return missionary in the temple, and mother of six children, she was defined by the church before even reaching maturity, as she says, “When my frontal cortex matured and I really began to form my own self, it was too late.” She was kept busy, by design, too busy to question or to consider her own worth despite the patriarchy in which she lived. Through deep “trials” she found her voice and now speaks against the misogyny from which she resigned.

I was twelve when my mother and stepfather joined the Mormon church. My older brother and I had no choice in the matter but I thought the young Elder missionary was so cute, who could say no? I grew up in a family of Methodists so much of the religion didn’t seem strange to a me as a child. I was a Mormon.

I married a return missionary in the Salt Lake Temple and became a stay at home mom to six children. When my frontal cortex matured and I really began to form my own self, it was too late.

I believed Joseph Smith was a prophet and the Book of Mormon but had no historical background and just believed what I was told. I pushed limits and poo-pooed rules that I knew were man made but still obeyed. I took out my second and third piercing and didn’t get the tattoo I wanted so badly in the 90’s. I was too busy to do anything but routine given to me.

Patriarchy loomed large and obvious as I watched my husbands life thrive and mature with his career and his church positions. I was an eternal mother with diapers and snack bags.

My last and sixth child was born when I was 32 and his traumatic birth and resulting disabilities formed my future path. My severely disabled child died on Christmas day 2022, he was 37. I had resigned my membership 3 years prior from exhaustion and increased knowledge.

I started an Instagram page to express my freedom and to acknowledge that getting old is my only option and I intend to live it to the fullest! I began a podcast under the umbrella of Mormon Discussions (shebecamevisible.org), I only interview women where we discuss the freedom of leaving this misogynistic cult and finding our selfs!

I’m so happy now. Fitness and aging gracefully are important to me so wearing 3 layers of clothing doesn’t jive with respecting and adoring my healthy body. My husband took a minute to cross over to the new me and though he is a TBM he loves me for who I am.

René

This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find René’s full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/graydame/. There are over a hundred more stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!