Sexism, Patriarchy, and the Lingering Legacy of Polygamy in the LDS Church
Two statements made by high-ranking LDS church leaders reveal more than just outdated social attitudes—they expose the deeply entrenched gender roles and patriarchal frameworks that continue to shape the church’s view of women. In a devotional, President David O. McKay once said, “Even a barn looks better when it’s painted,” a statement later echoed by other leaders as spiritual wisdom. Apostle M. Russell Ballard went further, admonishing young women to “Put on a little lipstick now and then and look a little charming. It’s that simple.”
At first glance, these may appear to be light-hearted remarks. But in context—especially in a religious institution that claims divine authority—these quotes are far from harmless. They reveal a system that still conditions women to see their worth through male approval, appearance, and subservience to a patriarchal ideal. Ballard’s flippant direction for “beautiful girls” to “look a little charming” trivializes the complexity of womanhood and the depth of spiritual identity by reducing it to physical appeal. It sends the message that charm and lipstick are not just preferences, but spiritual expectations.
Even a Barn Looks Better Painted
Church President, David O. McKay, allegedly wanted sisters to put on their make-up since, as he explained, “Even a barn looks better painted.” The original source for the quote is undocumented, but even the church attributes this to McKay:
Occasionally, look in a full-length mirror. Certainly we should not become obsessed with how we look, but we should work to improve our physical appearance. President Kimball said:
How nice and easy would it be if we had a magic wand! But we haven’t. You might take a careful inventory of your habits, your speech, your appearance, your weight, . . . and your eccentricities. . . . Take each item and analyze it. What do you like in others? What personality traits please you in others? Are your dresses too short, too long, too revealing, too old fashioned? Does your weight drive off possible suitors? Do you laugh raucously? Are you too selfish? Are you interested only in your own interests? [TSWK, pp. 295–96]
The Lord expects us to do the best we can with what he has given us. President McKay said, “Even a barn looks better when it’s painted.” After you have done what you can to improve your appearance, forget about yourself and think of others and their needs.
Rather than working so hard to find Mister or Miss Right, work harder to become Mister or Miss Right and you will more likely have the social life and marriage you desire. You will have good friends, and, in the end, I hope you can be fortunate enough to marry your best friend.
Joe J. Christensen, Presidency of the Seventy, Resolutions, January 9, 1994
https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/joe-j-christensen/resolutions/
Patriarchy Dressed in Doctrine
Sadly, these thoughts still permeate church leadership. In 2015, the late LDS Apostle, M. Russell Ballard, stated it even worse by asking the “beautiful girls” in attendance at a Young Single Adult Devotional to “put on a little lipstick now and then and look a little charming,” as his advice to getting married.
The LDS Church is built on a patriarchal structure in which male leaders hold all ecclesiastical authority. Women are excluded from priesthood ordination and decision-making positions at every level of institutional governance. While women may lead other women or children in auxiliary organizations, they are always ultimately accountable to male priesthood holders. When these men make statements equating a woman’s spiritual worth or effort to painting a barn or wearing lipstick, they reinforce the objectification of women and diminish their humanity into something ornamental.
These statements aren’t isolated or accidental—they are reflective of a long institutional history rooted in controlling women’s roles, bodies, and autonomy. The teachings and cultural norms surrounding modesty, chastity, motherhood, and appearance create a climate where women’s value is constantly weighed against patriarchal expectations.
A Legacy of Polygamy and Property
The “painted barn” analogy, once used by LDS President David O. McKay and later echoed by church leaders to suggest that women should wear makeup and look their best, is perhaps more revealing than they intended. After all, it’s hard not to draw a connection to another barn where Emma Smith caught her husband Joseph in a compromising situation with the maid, Fanny Alger—a moment the Church retroactively refer to as his first “plural marriage,” while his close associate Oliver Cowdery more accurately described it as a “dirty, nasty affair.” Perhaps we should be less concerned about women putting a fresh coat of paint on the proverbial barn and more focused on what the founding prophet was doing inside it.
The objectification of women in LDS teachings cannot be fully understood without acknowledging the church’s origins in polygamy. For decades, LDS doctrine taught—and in some ways still teaches—that women were eternal rewards for righteous men, a view that renders women as property rather than partners. Brigham Young, the second church president, once said the greatest privilege is receiving the fullness of the ordinances of the Priesthood and living in the marriage relation. But this “marriage relation,” as he defined it, was deeply lopsided: men were to collect wives like treasures, while women were taught that their salvation depended on obedience to a husband’s priesthood authority.
Though the LDS Church officially discontinued polygamy over a century ago, the theological remnants remain. Leaders like M. Russell Ballard and David O. McKay were raised in the shadow of these doctrines, and their rhetoric reflects that culture. Today, in temple sealings, men can still be sealed to multiple women in succession, but women are limited to being sealed to only one man. Church President, Russell M. Nelson, and counselor, Dallin H. Oaks, are, in fact, currently polygamously married to both their first and second wives for eternity. The imbalance persists—not just structurally, but ideologically.
Another clear symptom of the Church’s deeply rooted patriarchy is found in its ongoing obsession with female modesty—especially the infamous notion of “porn shoulders.” Women and girls are regularly taught that exposing their shoulders or knees can lead men to have inappropriate thoughts, essentially likening everyday parts of their body to pornographic material. This objectification not only places an unfair burden of responsibility on women for men’s thoughts and actions but also reduces women to sources of temptation rather than full human beings with autonomy. These teachings contribute to a culture of shame and body policing, fostering unhealthy attitudes about sexuality and self-worth from a very young age.
A Feminist Rejection of Sacred Sexism
Feminism demands that women be treated as full and equal individuals, not as adornments to the male gaze or spiritual ornaments to be painted and polished. LDS teachings often speak of divine gender roles and “complementary” differences, but in practice, these roles create a spiritual hierarchy in which women are subordinates. Reducing women to their appearance and charm is not divine—it is dismissive, harmful, and unworthy of any institution that claims moral and spiritual authority. At the same time, the Church often tries to mask these harmful dynamics with empty reassurances.
Leaders routinely assert that women are respected and revered in the gospel, often pointing to quotes like Brigham Young’s 1862 claim: “There is no people on the face of this earth that pay more respect to females than do this people.” Notably, he said this after having married over 50 women, many of them significantly younger and financially dependent.
In 2024, J. Anette Dennis, a counselor in the Relief Society General Presidency, echoed a similar lip service, and rightfully so received backlash, “There is no other religious organization in the world, that I know of, that has so broadly given power and authority to women.” In the same institution, women are still barred from holding the priesthood, excluded from top leadership roles, and rarely given decision-making power without male oversight. These contradictions highlight how institutional lip service cannot cover for deeply embedded inequality.
For too long, the LDS Church has taught women that their worth is secondary to their appearance, obedience, and submission. These recent quotes should not be dismissed as jokes or generational slips—they should be seen for what they are: symptoms of a deeper systemic inequality that continues to harm women spiritually, emotionally, and socially.
If you’ve felt the weight of these harmful teachings or struggled with the way women are viewed and treated in the LDS Church, you’re not alone. Your experience matters—and your voice deserves to be heard. By sharing your story at wasmormon.org, you can help others feel seen, offer solidarity to those still questioning, and challenge the narratives that have kept so many silent for too long. Stories have power—especially when they come from people like you who are reclaiming their worth and stepping into their truth.
More reading:
- Church Leaders on Power and Authority Broadly Given To Women
- A Fig For Polygamy?
- Mormon Polygamy: Taking Wives Akin to Buying Cows
- The Drawn Flaming Sword of Polygamy – Spiritual Abuse and Manipulation
- The Wives of Lorenzo Snow
- Fanny Alger, Joseph Smith’s “dirty, nasty, filthy affair” Teen Bride
- “Put on a little lipstick now and then and look a little charming” M. Russell Ballard’s Devotional
- https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/joe-j-christensen/resolutions/