Proud of leaving the cult

When I was baptized in the mormon church, I felt like I belonged in a religious environment that was perfect. I remember attending two different stakes. One was with my grandmother and the other was with my family. And what could be more uplifting then getting toys and video games during birthdays and holidays? I was a child who waved his twiggy arms and over exaggerated facial expressions. I also had a mormon face! When I dropped out from elementary school, my arms flabbed in a response to uncomfortable teachers. Cognitive dissonance shattered my mental health. I began to see those old autistic fixations as evil. The Mormons think to this day that news stations like CNN, secular tv shows, and some secular media can be inherently evil. According to what the mormon gospel defined as evil in the articles of faith anyways..
Looking back, the Mormons intensified the cognitive dissonance I was experiencing! I left the church but need to resign my membership one of these days too! The Mormons have a history of sexual assault, financial fraud m, and sexual trafficking.

 I was dropped out from high school. And I was falsely diagnosed with two mental illnesses. The Mormons has exhibited prejudice against marginalized groups! It doesn’t help that my perfectionist mother dropped me out of high school when I was defiant towards the mormon gospel. I got into an emo phase, developed delusions and changed my real name just from not getting therapy for religious trauma sooner.

I got into a self deprived state of mind, almost like I was catatonic from the dissonance.

I also had unhinged fantasies and fictitious delusions. Ugh if only the Mormons had a secular remedy for mental illnesses. The priesthood holders asked me intensive sexual questions, and I wasn’t given ANY sexual education. The LDS church might have played a part in that stuff I was into.. they saw a hairy neck beard cosplayer who thought he could change his AGE! The baptisms of the dead by proxy were to help me perform temple works for people who are long gone and dead. That might’ve had something to do with how I didn’t want to look at my exact age.

This is about 3-4 years back. They really lied that I had grandeur and split personality disorder. I’m in a more healthy chapter in my life! It turned out I didn’t have those mental illnesses, but I am still seeking therapy, just to “de-spiritualize” it was helpless that my mom forced me to join clubs with even more disabled people at school. Nor did anyone hear me out. Old late grannies were preying on me. She also forced me to let them kiss me. That was a rapey experience tat wasn’t in my power! I had to get into disabled clubs in middle school I didn’t want to endulge in. I was threatened to be raped by a mlp loving brony. So to my cousins and aunts and uncles: that is why vapor wave pictures and fandom pics on my profile with selfies of me looking sickly and malnourished. I’m sincerely sorry, I am sorry inside and out to my Tennessee uncle and aunt ,and your kids. And I am sorry to another uncle and your kids for upsetting your deceased sibling who had cerebral palsy. and I am sorry to others for having to leave the Mormon church. How we I am not sorry for having too expose my father as a rapist! If any uncles or aunts of mine will shield me then I will forgive myself more. And try bonding again even if we never see each other in person. It was no one else’s fault my dad groomed but himself and my mother and Mama’It was very rewarding for me to quit the Mormon church, and when I did quit is the CES letter, screenshots of the Mormon temple rituals and my own experiences that answered a tons of questions about my mental health way back! For God’s sale I HATE trains and veggietaes!! My grandma did a lot of weird stuff to hold me back from maturing, a healthy journey to teen hood. She probably had a disability like Munchausen Syndrome!

The LDS church does perform service projects, and even donate to hospitals and charities. Some have even been USA veterans. I was too disassociated to distinguish if my dad was rapping or if someone else did that. So I made some serious accusations.

 However prioritizing someone’s disability in school for years would make ANYONE psychotic. I was never allowed to put my disability first unless I was scolded by my parents, and. I was sexually abused by my father too.

My LDS family is no longer in charge of my medicines, and I was able to get two diagnoses removed. I truly hope some other ex Mormons know what love bombing is. Love Bombing is what got me into self deprived spending habits and cognitive dissonance with sexual habits at the same time.. Impulse purchases actually is a part of cognitive dissonance even if it isn’t in a religious context. I am hurting while I type all of this up. At least I have my own autonomy, enjoy begin a man who doesn’t get into bad habits anymore, has tried coffee, and doesn’t pretend to be a fictional person while I still enjoy life . Maybe self love and forgiveness too :)