LDS Apostle Dallin H. Oaks spoke to the global church about pornography. He warned that pornography was evil, that it “impairs one’s ability to enjoy a normal emotional, romantic, and spiritual relationship with a person,” and “erodes the moral barriers that stand against inappropriate, abnormal, or illegal behavior,” and patrons find their “conscience is desensitized” and “they are subject to the power and direction of the evil one.” These are not new or surprising from a modesty-obsessed religion like Mormonism. But then he takes it further, and addresses the Young Women of the congregation and the whole church, he tells them that their clothing choices could turn them into pornography in the eyes of men.
The quote has echoed through youth conferences, seminary lessons, and modesty talks for years, leaving many women to grapple with the weight of responsibility for others’ thoughts and actions. This kind of messaging reveals more than just concern for standards—it exposes a harmful theology of objectification and misplaced blame.
LDS Apostle Dallin H. Oaks once addressed the global church about the dangers of pornography, warning that it “impairs one’s ability to enjoy a normal emotional, romantic, and spiritual relationship,” “erodes moral barriers,” and leads people to become “subject to the power and direction of the evil one.” For a modesty-obsessed religion like Mormonism, these warnings were predictable. But then he crossed a deeply disturbing line: he told young women that if they dressed immodestly, they would become pornography.
Let that sink in. A woman, just by existing in her own body and choosing her own clothing, could be equated with a digital sex object used for male consumption. This isn’t just wrong and inappropriate, it’s dehumanizing! People are not pornography. Is that a peek into his mind? Is this how he sees young women who don’t cover themselves?
This sentiment and quote have echoed for years through seminary lessons, youth conferences, and modesty talks, leaving countless women burdened. Women are made to feel like walking pornography with shame and the false belief that they are responsible for the thoughts and sins of others. This isn’t about modesty, it’s about objectification, spiritual manipulation, and a deeply flawed doctrine that expects women to feel guilty simply for being seen.
Those who seek out and use pornography forfeit the power of their priesthood. … Patrons of pornography also lose the companionship of the Spirit. Pornography produces fantasies that destroy spirituality. … Pornography also inflicts mortal wounds on our most precious personal relationships. …
Pornography impairs one’s ability to enjoy a normal emotional, romantic, and spiritual relationship with a person of the opposite sex. It erodes the moral barriers that stand against inappropriate, abnormal, or illegal behavior. As conscience is desensitized, patrons of pornography are led to act out what they have witnessed, regardless of its effects on their life and the lives of others. Pornography is also addictive. It impairs decision-making capacities and it “hooks” its users, drawing them back obsessively for more and more. …
When persons entertain evil thoughts long enough for the Spirit to withdraw, they lose their spiritual protection, and they are subject to the power and direction of the evil one…
Young women, please understand that if you dress immodestly, you are magnifying this problem by becoming pornography to some of the men who see you.
Dallin H. Oaks, LDS Apostle, Pornography, General Conference April 2005
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2005/04/pornography?lang=eng
Let’s be clear: women are not pornography. They are not objects. They are not visual temptations. They are not responsible for managing the thoughts, desires, or self-control of the men around them. Framing a young woman’s body as “pornography” simply because of her clothing choices not only dehumanizes her but also teaches young men that their sexual feelings are not their responsibility. It implies that modesty is a weapon against male weakness, and that when women “fail” to wield it, they are to blame for the fallout.
This is the theological equivalent of victim-blaming dressed up in spiritual language.
Instead of teaching men to take ownership of their thoughts, develop emotional and spiritual maturity, and recognize women as full human beings, this rhetoric infantilizes them. It reinforces the idea that they are helpless in the face of a bare shoulder, a knee, or a fitted shirt. And for women, it burdens them with shame, self-policing, and a deep-seated fear that their worth is tied to how “pure” or invisible they can appear to others.
It also creates a perverse kind of moral hierarchy where a woman’s body becomes sinful because of how someone else sees it, not because of anything she has done. It makes every woman responsible for any man’s lust.
As a woman, one thing I think is so important is to make sure you are not walking pornography.
Alicia, Mormon.org: How can we stop the spread and influence of pornography?
https://web.archive.org/web/20150531092653/http://www.mormon.org/faq/stop-pornography
Leadership can’t make women sex objects and then blame them for being objectified
Let’s flip this narrative. If a man sees a woman and sexualizes her, that is a reflection of his mind, not her body. Women are not stumbling blocks. They are not temptresses. And they are definitely not pornography. They are people with thoughts, talents, voices, and a divine worth that has nothing to do with how others perceive their physical appearance.
There is a real cost to this kind of messaging. Women grow up feeling ashamed of their bodies, anxious about attention, and afraid to fully inhabit their own humanity. They internalize the belief that their spiritual value is bound to male approval or male perception. And when they finally see the deep injustice in that system, many of them leave.
And maybe they should.
Because a church that sees women as “pornography” when they dress in ways that challenge male comfort is a church that is more invested in controlling women than in honoring them.
Objectification and Blame Circle
Women are sexualized by the culture
The LDS Church, while preaching chastity and modesty, often reinforces the idea that women’s bodies are inherently tempting or dangerous—especially to men. Shoulders, knees, cleavage, and other body parts are portrayed as triggers for male lust, placing moral weight on the visibility of a woman’s body.
Modesty becomes a burden of prevention
Girls are taught to dress modestly to “help boys control their thoughts” and avoid leading them astray. This implies that a woman’s body is not just hers, but a spiritual threat to men.
Blame is shifted
If a boy or man has impure thoughts or acts inappropriately, the woman is often blamed for causing him temptation. The male behavior is not called out, but the female is blamed for causing him to gaze. It turns into a witch hunt. The logic goes: “If she hadn’t worn that, he wouldn’t have looked, thought, or acted that way.” Young Women are routinely reminded that they “might not recognize that the physical display they create when they dress immodestly affects boys more than it does them.”
As parents, we need to speak frankly about these natural tendencies but also about the importance and value of self-discipline that Heavenly Father requires us to learn as we overcome the “natural man” (see Mosiah 3:19). In this case, that refers to dressing and acting in a modest manner.
Girls might not recognize that the physical display they create when they dress immodestly affects boys more than it does them. Help children, especially daughters, understand that attracting someone of the opposite sex solely by physical means does not create a lasting relationship.
Silvia H. Allred, First Counselor in the Relief Society General Presidency, Teaching Modesty to Our Children, Ensign, July 2009
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2009/07/modesty-a-timeless-principle-for-all/teaching-modesty-to-our-children
Women are punished for it
The woman is reduced to an object of temptation, judged by how effectively she hides her body. If she is catcalled, harassed, or even assaulted, the question becomes: “What was she wearing?” Thus, the system creates the conditions for objectification and then blames the woman for being objectified.
This excuses men from being responsible for their thoughts. They’re not taught to own their thoughts, but to expect women to dress in ways that keep them “righteous.” It teaches girls that their bodies are shameful. This can create long-lasting issues around body image, self-worth, and sexual expression. It also reinforces inequality. The standards are not applied equally; men are rarely told their bare shoulders or tight pants are a threat to women’s virtue.
In Mormonism, modesty is framed as a spiritual value, but in practice, it often functions as a social control mechanism disproportionately aimed at women and girls.
You can’t teach that women’s bodies are dangerous, fixate on controlling them, and then act surprised or judgmental when those same bodies are objectified. If you build the system that turns them into objects, you don’t get to scold them for being seen that way.
@lainey.molnar
This illustration by Lainey Molnar delivers a powerful critique of modesty culture and gendered double standards. First, a man in a suit says to a woman wearing a tank top, “Wear decent clothes.” This reflects the societal—and especially religious—message directed at women: that they are responsible for how others, particularly men, perceive and react to them. It implies that women must dress “modestly” to prevent male temptation or arousal. The woman calmly but assertively holds up her hand, responding with, “Have decent thoughts.” This flips the script and redirects the responsibility back where it belongs: on the individual doing the thinking. She refuses to accept the idea that her appearance dictates another person’s morality or self-control.
Rather than policing women’s bodies and clothing, we should teach men (and everyone) that they are responsible for and should manage their own thoughts and behaviors. It’s a direct call to reject victim-blaming and to shift the cultural narrative from control and shame to personal responsibility and respect.
Real-Life Consequences
This harmful mindset has far-reaching and deeply personal consequences within Mormonism and other modesty-obsessed religious cultures. Here are several more real-life examples that illustrate how damaging and pervasive this ideology can be:
- Women internalize the belief that their spiritual purity is tied to how others perceive them, creating a toxic sense of spiritual insecurity and performance-based worthiness.
- Male leaders feel entitled to comment on or regulate female attire, reinforcing a power imbalance and fostering a culture where spiritual worth is judged visually, not internally.
- Young women feel pressure to dress to avoid “tempting” their male peers or leaders, placing male perception at the center of their self-worth and encouraging hypervigilance and body shame.
- Girls are taught from a young age that their shoulders, knees, or stomachs are “too sexual” to be seen, leading to body image issues, eating disorders, and long-term struggles with self-acceptance.
- Girls are pulled out of class or dances for dress code violations, reinforcing shame and prioritizing male comfort over their education and experience.
- Brides are asked to alter their wedding dresses to meet “temple standards,” even if it compromises their joy or personal expression on what should be a meaningful, once-in-a-lifetime day.
- Women are denied temple recommends or callings because their clothing choices are seen as not modest enough, even if they are otherwise faithful and engaged members.
- Students at BYU can face Honor Code violations for clothing deemed “immodest,” leading to academic holds, disciplinary action, or even expulsion. This creates a culture of surveillance and fear, where female students are scrutinized for how they dress more than how they think or learn.
- Victims of sexual assault at BYU are investigated for Honor Code violations after reporting abuse, including being questioned about what they were wearing or whether they had broken curfew. This practice silences survivors and discourages others from seeking help, prioritizing rules over compassion.
- Victims of sexual assault wonder if they were at fault for dressing “immodestly,” internalizing guilt and shame that should never have been theirs to carry.
- Survivors of abuse may be disbelieved or minimized if they are seen as dressing “immodestly,” reinforcing rape culture and silencing those most in need of support.
These are not small side effects—they are soul-level consequences. The idea that a woman’s body is inherently dangerous or provocative has fueled shame, silenced victims, and diminished countless lives.
Modesty should never be weaponized. Worthiness is not a hemline. And the responsibility for lust lies with the one who lusts.
This is about more than dress codes or doctrinal sound bites—it’s about reclaiming autonomy and restoring dignity. Women are not objects, temptations, or walking moral hazards. They are full human beings with agency, worth, and the right to exist in their bodies without being reduced to distractions or blamed for someone else’s lack of self-control. The message, whether from pulpits or policy, that women become “pornography” through their clothing is not only harmful—it’s spiritually abusive. If we’re serious about promoting respect and dignity, we must stop teaching girls that their bodies are problems to be hidden, and stop teaching boys that they’re victims of visual temptation. That’s not morality; that’s misogyny dressed up as virtue.
Men must be taught to take responsibility for their own thoughts and desires. The burden of male self-mastery should never be offloaded onto the shoulders of young girls and women. We must reject this toxic modesty culture and replace it with a culture of consent, respect, and accountability.
To the women navigating their faith and modesty journeys: you are not the problem. Your body is not offensive. Your clothing is not sinful. Your worth is not measured by how well you disappear. You have the right to make choices that reflect your values, your comfort, and your confidence.
If you’ve been hurt by these teachings, or you’re finding your way out of them, we invite you to share your voice. Your story matters—and it can help others who are wrestling with the same contradictions and shame. Visit wasmormon.org to share your deconstruction journey and help illuminate a better path forward.
More reading:
- https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2005/04/pornography?lang=eng
- https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2009/07/modesty-a-timeless-principle-for-all/teaching-modesty-to-our-children
- https://www.mormonmatters.org/mormon-org-faq-modesty-chastity/
- https://web.archive.org/web/20150531092653/http://www.mormon.org/faq/stop-pornography
- https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/nov/29/mormon-women-metoo-particular-challenge-sexual-abuse
- https://www.instagram.com/p/CaDHkDzrHB-/
- https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/7jd23a/oaks_young_women_please_understand_that_if_you/
- https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/7jbm42/so_many_notable_achievements_and_impressive/
- https://becketfund.org/media/religious-liberty-leader-elder-dallin-h-oaks-awarded-becket-funds-highest-honor/