How did being Mormon affect your daily life?

I felt very left out of the things that my friends did, my purity and lack of interest in more mature video games lead to a lot of bullying and harassment, (much of which was sexual), and most kids didn't understand me. Daily life was.... rough. To say the least.

jacob profile image for wasmormon.orgbakiraka01

I learned to motivate myself through shame and to view myself through a lens of self-hatred so dense no self-reflection could penetrate it.
I learned to doubt my own thoughts and to avoid acknowledging my own triumphs.
The way I learned to move through the world was deeply shaped by the church's worldview. None of my time, talents, or resources were my own. All glory to god. I was just the fuckup trying to follow the line laid out for me.
My life felt tangential in my own existence. My freedom was to fill in the cracks around the blocks that the church laid out for me. Every worthy thing I did was god's triumph, and every failure was my own.

layhandsondeez profile image for wasmormon.orglayhandsondeez

I never felt like I fit in. I was always trying to jump through mormon hoops but never felt perfect enough. 

Sandra profile image for wasmormon.orgsandra

Being Mormon affected my daily life and it still does because not only do you have the church but you have the culture. It is almost all toxic. There’s so much shame and misogyny and struggles that you feel you’ll never be good enough. When I was eight, and I was going to be baptized, the only thing that I thought about was, I was so happy to have a second chance, because then I wasn’t gonna make any mistakes. Who in the hell thinks that when they’re eight years old? I feel like I got my childhood stolen from me. It was not one of love, but one of never feeling good enough.

kathyh1976 profile image for wasmormon.orgkathyh1976

Almost from the moment I was baptized I started to feel less than. First I was told my clothes were immodest. Then that I was too fat. ( I wasn’t . I was within normal weight for my height) I dieted got very thin and came down with an eating disorder. That was just the beginning.

nancypantsy72 profile image for wasmormon.orgnancypantsy72

I never knew anything other than mormon like. So much praying! Personal am, family am, breakfast, dinner, family pm, personal PM. Now add in >2 if there was a mormon activity that day. If it was a Sunday, at least 6 more. Oh, and don't forget to "pray continually" during the day, like for tests, or running late to school, or being scared. The mormon church told me how to dress, how to eat, what to eat, what to drink, what I could not drink. They told me when I could date and who I was allowed to date. My days, my weeks were planned with all mormon activity at the church, the temple, or "reactivating" the less-active. I had to give 10% of my income, instead of taking my children to a movie or circus. It was in every aspect of my life. Including my sex life! I was married 2yrs,"wasting" my time without having babies. God forbid I wanted to get to know my new husband before we had a family.

freidom profile image for wasmormon.orgfreidom

It affected me a lot. I hid being Mormon. When I did mention it, I was accused of trying to be white because the Mormon Church is seen as a 'white religion' by people of color. And, living in Los Angeles, the Mormon Church goes against what the area philosophy is.

Carlos profile image for wasmormon.orgclos75

I was riddled with guilt and shame every single day. My self-respect was trashed by that guilt. I invested countless hours serving in the church, working harder and harder at my career, in the community, in my home, all to be an example of the joy of being a Mormon.

In January 2018, I reached a breaking point that nearly killed me. Being broken down to my weakest point allowed me to ask the questions that I had been too busy to ask.

The answers to those questions led me to leave Mormonism, a decision that I don't regret.

Josh Biggley profile image for wasmormon.orgJoshua Biggley

It controlled it. Everything in life revolved around the mormon worldview. My prescribed goals were centered around the church. It was too much. Each week after being involved in passing the sacrament, I felt guilty because I felt like I had lied to the congregation. I took it on personally, and that affected me deeply. I realize now that I was just part of the system, but that was how I felt for years.

 profile image for wasmormon.orgAnonymous