Jared Halverson, Assistant Processor of Ancient Scripture at BYU, former CES Teacher, shares Come Follow Me, or LDS Sunday school curriculum, insights on his Unshaken Saints channel. He recently expressed concern over a surprising trend in religion: for the first time in recent history, more women are leaving the church than men.
He speaks of the “sister saints” who have historically filled the pews, held up the church with quiet strength, and done the “heavy lifting in the kingdom of God.” He warns of a coming collapse, pointing to a similar trajectory in Great Britain, where women’s exodus preceded widespread religious decline. He exposes his privilege and blind spots. He gets caught here saying the quiet part out loud: that women are doing a lot of the work in the church, but through service, not leadership. Rather than asking why these women might be leaving, he calls them to stop being so “worldly” and to continue or increase their sacrifices for the church, which he couches as investments in the church with the promise of eternal reward.
One of the statistics that has worried me most of late comes from a survey that was done in 2023. And it’s suggesting that for the first time that I can think of, more women are leaving religion than men are. That’s shocking to me as a historian of religion in America.
There was actually a great article I read in grad school called Religious History is Women’s History. That women have always outnumbered men. Not at the pulpit, but in the pew.
And so often it’s these sister saints organizing benevolent societies, ours is called the Relief Society, doing incredible things. So much heavy lifting in the kingdom of God is done by God’s daughters.
I read a book once on the history of secularization in Great Britain in the 20th century. And one of the author’s main points was religion seemed to collapse in Great Britain when women stopped coming to church. Men were a mixed bag, sometimes strong, sometimes weak. Sometimes coming, sometimes leaving. But women seemed to hold steady and they held the church up until they stopped doing that. And there wasn’t much left to keep it afloat.
Sister saints, be aware of just how important you are in the kingdom of God. Each of you daughters of God. Each of you elect ladies. And then prepare yourself for this caution in section 25 verse 10. Yes, it applies to men just as much, but, I want you sisters to hear it with feminine ears.
[D&C] 25:10 to Emma Smith, “Verily I say unto thee that thou shalt lay aside the things of this world and seek for the things of a better.”
A better world. In some ways I’m asking you to sacrifice. Lay aside the things of this world. But in another way, I’m not asking for a sacrifice at all. It’s not a sacrifice when you get more than you give. That’s called an investment.
So invest in a better world by saving your stock and not putting it into this world. Those are all declining returns. You want an amazing return on investment? Then lay up treasures in heaven where moth and rust doth not corrupt.
Jared Halverson, Unshaken Saints,
https://www.instagram.com/p/DHg0QNFpwHH
The Church’s Invisible Labor Force
“Women have always outnumbered men. Not at the pulpit, but in the pew.”
Well-meaning though it may be, this message unintentionally highlights a deep and painful truth in Mormonism: women have long carried the weight of the church without ever being allowed to steer its course.
A quiet admission is embedded in his words: women do the work. They organize, they teach, they comfort, they feed, they visit, they administrate, they show up. They show up even when they’re not seen—because they’ve been taught that visibility isn’t their role. Leadership isn’t their domain. Authority isn’t their right.
“So much heavy lifting in the kingdom of God is done by God’s daughters.”
Yes, it is. And it always has been. But in Mormonism, women do this work without priesthood, without real decision-making power, without representation at the highest levels, and often, without recognition. They sit in the pews while men stand at the pulpit. They counsel quietly while men speak authoritatively. Their labor is spiritual, emotional, and logistical—but always rendered invisibly.
He please with women to “be aware of just how important you are” in the church. Yet, lived experience makes many feel “needed,” but not so “important.” Halverson calls this investment, but for many women, it’s felt more like exploitation. Women feel that investing themselves and sacrificing for an organization that only takes is not a good investment.
“Lay Aside the Things of This World”?
His lesson ends with a plea to women to “lay aside the things of this world” and “invest” in a better world—one presumably offered by the church. It’s framed as an invitation, but it reads more like a demand for continued sacrifice. It’s an appeal for women to keep giving—to keep showing up, keep doing the work, and keep holding things together.
He insists women must keep showing up, so they can continue supporting an institution that does not grant them full equality. Women are increasingly asking hard questions:
- Why are we asked to “invest” in a system that doesn’t invest in us?
- Why is our loyalty expected when our voices are not heard?
- Why are we asked to sacrifice for an institution that withholds priesthood authority, excludes us from top leadership, and dictates our roles from birth?
Maybe he’s the one not asking the right questions.
It’s not just about modernity or feminism—it’s about dignity, equity, and truth.
Blind Spots Worth Naming
Halverson’s perspective reveals some troubling blind spots:
- He recognizes women are essential to the church’s function, but doesn’t acknowledge their exclusion from its power structures.
- He acknowledges their exodus, but does not consider that their reasons for leaving might be valid, not just signs of spiritual weakness.
- He calls their labor “investment,” but fails to admit that the returns often go to others—namely, men in leadership.
The idea that women are the backbone of the church but must remain in the shadows is not a sustainable model. It’s a spiritual and patriarchal pyramid scheme that benefits those at the top while burning out those below. Ironic that he mansplains this to women while highlighting his own privileged blindness to the issues it causes.
Emma Smith
Halverson’s choice to invoke Doctrine & Covenants 25:10, a verse directed specifically to Emma Smith, to urge modern LDS women to “lay aside the things of this world,” is painfully ironic. Emma, who had already sacrificed profoundly for the church, ultimately chose not to follow the Brighamite sect of the church and the migrating saints west. What did Emma do instead? She remarried, this time a non-Mormon man, and spent the rest of her life outside the institution that had cost her so much, including her peace, her marriage, and her public reputation.
For many women today, Emma’s trajectory resonates more than the idealized version presented in church manuals. They, too, are weary of being asked to sacrifice endlessly for a system that offers little in return for their invisible labor other than conditional belonging. Quoting this verse as a rallying cry for increased devotion, without acknowledging the full arc of Emma’s story, feels not only tone-deaf but dismissive of the very real pain and burnout that leads so many women to step away. If anything, Emma Smith’s legacy underscores the cost of continual sacrifice and the moral clarity of walking away when that cost becomes too great.
Women Are Walking Away and That’s Worth Listening To
If more women are leaving the church than ever before, maybe the church should stop telling them what to do and start asking why they’re leaving, and listening to what they’re saying as they go. Many are not walking away from faith altogether—they’re walking away from a system that asks for their devotion without granting them voice, authority, or autonomy.
And they’re not just “seeking the things of this world.” They’re seeking: Truth. Healing. Equality. Wholeness.
The Apology
His original remarks were cloaked in concern and reverence, yet they struck many as tone-deaf, patronizing, and dismissive of the valid and complex reasons women are walking away from organized religion, especially Mormonism.
To his credit, Halverson responded to the backlash. In a public apology, he expressed sorrow for the unintended message that his words conveyed. He admitted that linking women’s religious departure to “worldliness”—even unintentionally—was hurtful. He made clear that he does not believe women leave the church due to selfishness or spiritual deficiency. Instead, he emphasized the importance of listening and learning from those who walk away.
To his credit, after the backlash and thousands of comments on his post (where he usually gets dozens), Jared Halverson issued an apology video acknowledging his blind spots and apologizing for the pain his post caused.
I failed to see that by speaking of the recent increase in women leaving organized religion, and then quoting a scripture about “seeking after the things of this world,” this implied that women who leave our Church do so largely because of worldliness. Then, by speaking of sacrificing “this world” in favor of “a better world,” my words suggested that women are not making sufficient sacrifices in the here and now.
I want to state clearly that these are NOT my beliefs, and that I am deeply sorry that this was the message that came across to so many. As I have tried to make clear in other lessons, women already sacrifice so much, and people leave religion for many reasons, and we should listen to and learn from them with a “Lord, is it I?” attitude.
To be clear, I believe that the Church will continue to improve as women are valued not only for their sacrifices, but for their gifts of leadership and spiritual authority.
The Restoration will remain incomplete, and the Gathering cannot occur, without the powerful voices of the daughters of God. These voices need to be heard. President Nelson has made that abundantly clear, and we should do all we can to reflect that prophetic priority.
Jared Halverson, Unshaken Saints
https://www.instagram.com/p/DH06jbisdK2/
This kind of public reflection is rare in LDS leadership circles, and it deserves recognition. Owning unintended harm is a meaningful step. Many leaders double down when criticized; Halverson did not. For that, he deserves some respect.
A Tinge of Gaslighting?
That said, the apology is not without its complications. There’s a subtle but important dynamic at play that’s worth unpacking.
Halverson’s language—“I’m sorry that’s how it came across”—while probably well-intentioned, centers the misunderstanding in the audience rather than in the message itself. It frames the hurt as a kind of accidental reception problem rather than a flaw in the original framing or assumptions. That can feel like gaslighting, even if unintentional.
Because let’s be clear: the problem wasn’t just how it came across—it’s what was actually said.
Halverson quoted scripture telling women to “lay aside the things of this world” directly after lamenting that more women are leaving religion. He then framed that sacrifice not as loss, but as an investment. The implication was not subtle. The unspoken message was clear: women leaving the church are choosing the world over heaven; if only they saw the eternal return on investment, they’d stay.
To now say “that’s not what I meant” is important, but it doesn’t fully acknowledge how deeply that framing echoed well-worn and painful narratives used to dismiss, belittle, or patronize women who leave.
Are You One of These Women?
Have you walked away from the church after years of quiet service? Have you been expected to sacrifice everything while receiving little in return? Have you been faithful, invisible, and weary—and then found your voice?
You are not worldly.
You are not selfish.
You are not failing in faith.
You are doing the difficult, courageous work of asking hard questions. Of seeking integrity and truth, and of refusing to invest in a system that doesn’t invest in you.
And your voice deserves to be heard—not just in the pews, but in the larger conversation about what the Restoration could become if it truly included everyone. You’re not alone. Your story matters. Share your story on wasmormon.org and help others see that stepping away from the pews can be the first step toward reclaiming your power, your voice, and your truth. Building a better world is one where women aren’t just in the pews, but at the pulpit, in the room, and at the table.
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