Grace’s journey out of the Mormon church was marked by profound personal struggle and self-discovery. From a young age, she grappled with her identity as a gay individual in a religious environment that condemned her very existence. Raised in the Mormon faith, she internalized the belief that her sexuality was sinful and spent years attempting to pray the gay away, rejecting an innate part of herself. However, a turning point came after a near-suicide attempt prompted her to seek answers beyond the approved confines of the church. Through online exploration, she discovered the harmful practices of her church, including excommunication and conversion therapy, leading her to question the integrity of the institution she once trusted. Grace’s story sheds light on the emotional turmoil and resilience of those who dare to challenge the teachings of their upbringing and seek authenticity in their own truth.
I knew I was gay at age 9 and grew up being told my entire life that I was sinful. I was a Mormon.
I denied who I was for years because I believed god hated people like me.
I thought if I just didn’t accept what I was, it would go away and I’d go to Heaven. I spent years “praying the gay” out of me with only more self-hatred growing inside me.
After a near suicide attempt at age 13, I started reading online “anti Mormon websites” to try and discover why god would hate me so much as to make me gay.
As I read, I discovered the ways the church harmed those like me, from excommunication to the conversion therapy led at BYU by Dallin Oaks. As I kept reading I saw more and more that I was in a very very dark religious group.
The church has been absolutley dishonest with its own history. I was never taught most of the truth and was taught lies instead.
I mentally ran from the church shortly after, but was forced into Sunday attendance by my parents for another year. After that year ended, I refused to step foot in a church building again, and so far, I have not.
Grace
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