Freidom was a happy Mormon, or so she thought. Her questions were ignored, she was silenced, and her devotion was taken for granted. After experiencing a devastating divorce she realized that she was not cared for at all! Out of spite she checked out an exmormon channel on youtube and binged it. This led to more research and she finally found answers to her forbidden questions. They are answers the church didn’t want her to find and ironically led her to real happiness!
I was born and raised, pioneer stock, serving and obeying… all while my shelf cracked in so many places. I was (mostly) happy in my ignorance. I am finally free to be happy! I was a Mormon.
I had blind, trusting faith. I was taught the Prophet was unfalible. I was taught that stake presidents and bishops were always inspired. I had faith of a child. I asked questions but was told so many times to “just stop”. So I asked questions quietly, apologizing for my lack of faith.
I never knew anything other than mormon life. So much praying! The mormon church told me how to dress, how to eat, what to eat, what to drink, what I could not drink. They told me when I could date and who I was allowed to date. My days, my weeks were planned with all mormon activity at the church, the temple, or “reactivating” the less-active. I had to give 10% of my income, instead of taking my children to a movie or circus. It was in every aspect of my life. Including my sex life!
After I discovered my then-husband’s “dark secret life” (his words for explaining his interests in other women). When I left him, no one gave a fuck. No one visited. No one called. Not the bish. Not his counselors. Not the RS or missionaries or elders quorum. Not my own mother. I went through my divorce fumbling alone. I lived in squalor, a tiny 600sq ft 2bedroom apartment for me and my three kids. No one offered help. No one visited. No one cared. I was so pissed!!! Why had I wasted so much time, effort, money, on an institution that didn’t care about me.
Out of sheer spite, I found an exmo YouTube channel and binged it. That was the beginning of the end. I have since read the CES letter, read various biographies and writings of exmos. I have begun thinking for myself. I have let my children think for themselves. And we are happier than ever. My joy is mine to determine. My life is in my own hands.
Freidom
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