Hello! I'm Susan.
I was a mormon. I'm now thoughtfully ex Mormon.
About me
I was born and raised in Phoenix, AZ. I was raised Episcopalian and went to church every Sunday during my childhood. The high school I attended was next to a Seminary building. When I reached 18 years old I thought religion wasn't for me. I married at 21, moved to Las Vegas. I realized my ex was a not great guy, and we divorced. I went to work for a dentist, who I later realized was Mormon. He was a really great man. All of his staff were so lovely to me, and I realized they, too, were all Mormon. Well, long story short, I ended up being baptized at 26. I was sort of active, but was fascinated with the weird lines under their clothing. I asked, and they told me that that were sacred undergarments. Ummm, OK? I decided to move back to Phoenix to be near family. I was inactive until 2008. I returned to church after a failed 2nd marriage. My daughter had expressed interest in religion. So I approached a man I knew was Mormon and asked him for a BoM. My daughter decided to be baptized, and I became active to support her. And I came to believe the doctrine as presented to me. I never really "read" the BoM, so didn't realize some of the awful things it portrayed.
I met my last husband in 2010. I knew I was going to marry him on our first date. We met in February, 2010 and married November 2010. A civil marriage because his children demanded it. He required I be endowed before we got married, so I finally saw the garments. Good grief... We were sealed in the Mesa Temple a year later on my birthday. I thought, hmmm. This is weird because I was told to keep my eyes on the temple worker, not my husband. The feeling stayed with me. I was in the Primary Presidency, a primary teacher and a Relief Society teacher. I hosted parties for others who were empty nesters, I was in charge of Relief Society entertainment and parties. I learned that my ancestors were Pioneers, and were well acquainted with Joseph Smith and Emma. I was so proud...
On my shelf
On the Mormon Spectrum
# Why I left More stories of 'Why I left' the Mormon church
Fast forward to May 2021. I had trouble sleeping all through my marriage. One morning, I woke up at 4:30 a.m. I turned on YouTube to find something to lull me back to sleep. I noticed a Mormon Stories episode featuring a Mormon woman I followed. The headline said she had left the church. Well, that caught my attention, and I listened to the entire 5 hour video. I was so stunned, I fell back onto my pillow and sobbed. Once I heard what she had to say, I knew I was done. I knew I couldn't speak to my husband. I kept it to myself, watched different videos about the church. Book of Abraham, Kinderhook Plates, origins of the BoM, Masonic rituals. The more learned, the deeper the rabbit hole went. Hundreds of branches.
In November, 2021, I finally started to explain to my husband what I had learned. It did NOT go well. In January 2022, he kicked me out of the bedroom. In February, he obtained a Protective Order stating I had assaulted him. I was forced to leave behind my pets, and everything I owned. If it hadn't been for my daughter and brother, I would have no place to live. Also, we had a 79 year old woman from the ward living with us. He kicked her out also. His children ghosted and blocked me in every way. I tried to call the bishop, but he refused to help my friend in any way. She was homeless at 79 years old. My daughter created a Go Fund Me and raised over $1500. From people I didn't even know and he friends. On March 8, 2021, I returned to our home, watched people pack up all of my belongings.
I am now living my best life. I moved to a little town in Oklahoma. Purchased a home. Working as a teacher. I can't believe how shallow my life was before. Friends (quote) have never contacted me. My friend who had been living with me has left, as well as my daughter. One friend did contact me a month ago, stating she and her husband have left. Partly due to how my now ex-husband and his family treated me. I feel great sadness for the people who refuse to even hear a little bit about the church. To give everything you have to an organization that cares nothing for individuals and live in service to them, I feel for them. I am no longer angry. I have retained my pre-mormon morals, values and integrity. I will never see my 9 grandchildren again. I now live up to my potential, I love every single person I meet, I donate to worthy charitable organizations. I believe in a higher power, but not a "man". I believe there is order and beauty in everything. I appreciate the beauty in every day. To anyone who has doubts about the church, please research everything you can. There is a big beautiful world outside. Thank you for reading my story.
Questions about Mormons My Answers to Questions about Mormonism
#Link to this answer of 'Are you happy?' by susanc Are you happy? See more answers about 'Are you happy?'
I have never been happier. Autonomy, integrity and morals are not to be diminished.
#Link to this answer of 'Does the Mormon church protect sexual predators?' by susanc Does the Mormon church protect sexual predators? See more answers about 'Does the Mormon church protect sexual predators?'
Yes, absolutely they do. The victims are collateral damage. The name of the church is more important than doing what is right.
#Link to this answer of 'Has the church been dishonest with its own history?' by susanc Has the church been dishonest with its own history? See more answers about 'Has the church been dishonest with its own history?'
Yes. The history is dirty and messy. The lies and obfuscation runs deep. I wouldn't even know where to start to tell how dirty the story is. I believe the highest men in the church KNOW it's a farce.
#Link to this answer of 'What advice would you give to someone interested in joining the Mormon Church? Or for that matter, someone interested in leaving the Mormon Church?' by susanc What advice would you give to someone interested in joining the Mormon Church? Or for that matter, someone interested in leaving the Mormon Church? See more answers about 'What advice would you give to someone interested in joining the Mormon Church? Or for that matter, someone interested in leaving the Mormon Church?'
Please please learn everything you can about it. If you know any post mormons talk to them and ask hard questions. They have no reason to lie to you. They will give you honest answers and not think less of you.