New Hymn: Oy vey, Heavenly Mother

This newly penned hymn is based upon the Eliza Snow poem, Oh My Father, which was turned into an LDS hymn. It is written in fake biblical style because, if it was good enough for Joe Smith in the Book of Mormon, why not. The Mormon song books are sorely lacking material around the topic of a Heavenly Mother. This could be a first step toward reconciliation.

Heavenly Mother |
Heavenly Mother – “Thou holdeth a casserole dish”

Oy vey, Heavenly Mother  

I never learned to call Thee Mother
Thou wert kept hidden from me
I was told Thou wert too sacred
Even to prayeth unto Thee
Throughout our Holy Scripture
Thy name doth nowhere appear
And wert it not for Eliza Snow
We’d never have known Thou art here.
Oy vey, Heavenly Mother, Thou shouldest rule
It is to Thee whom we should pray
Heavenly Father is an incompetent fool
And things have gone far astray
Just read the Holy Bible
It tells Thee what Father’s done
He has screwed-up so very much
It cost the life of Thy own son.
Father expects Thee to serve His needs
But take a moment to introspect
Father treats Thee shamefully
And Thou receiveth no respect
Although Father wears a crown of brilliant gold
Thy crown is but a used gelatin mold
And in Thy hand no scepter sits
Instead Thou holdeth a casserole dish.
Mother, waste not Thy precious time
Cleaning Father’s heavenly place
He’ll only track in ever more dust
From interstellar space
We pleadeth with Thee, Heavenly Mother
Lead a coup in the Court On High
Seize the power beyond the veil
And we’ll support you when you try.
And should Thee faileth in Thy pursuit
Worry not about what Father might do
After he misses a few meals
He’ll realize He needs You
After we arise in Thy defense, oh Mother
Father will forgive us, following a short review
‘Cause as Patriarchal Blessings tell us all
Mormons are His chosen people; we’re Jews


  • [wert = were]  
  • [doth = does]
  • [art = are]
  • [shouldest = should]
  • [receiveth = receives]
  • [holdeth = hold]
  • [pleadeth = plead]
  • [faileth = fail]

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