The LDS or Mormon Church has long articulated clear and restrictive expectations for women. Framed as divinely inspired guidance, these teachings portray a woman’s highest calling as homemaking, motherhood, and submission to traditional gender roles. While many women in the church find meaning in family life, the rigid and one-dimensional framework leaves little room for individual choice, ambition, or variance from the mold.
The culture of the Mormon church is deeply rooted in patriarchy, with systems and teachings that consistently elevate men while diminishing women. From its earliest days, leadership has been exclusively male, and women are denied priesthood authority or decision-making power in meaningful church governance. The church promotes a narrow, chauvinistic ideal in which women are primarily valued as wives and mothers, instructed to stay in the home and raise children rather than pursue professional aspirations or independence. This anti-feminist framework reinforces sexist views, restricts opportunities, and reduces women to supporting roles, often demanding obedience and self-sacrifice while discouraging autonomy, ambition, and equality.
Leadership routinely comments about the role women should play in their own life. They even try to claim that there are no other organizations that value or respect women as much as the church. Apologists admit that women play an important role in the church, but they belong in the pews rather than the pulpit.
Rushed into Motherhood
Few messages from LDS leadership more clearly demonstrate the church’s agenda for women than Ezra Taft Benson’s directive.
Young mothers and fathers, with all my heart I counsel you not to postpone having your children, being co-creators with our Father in Heaven.
Do not use the reasoning of the world, such as, “We’ll wait until we can better afford having children, until we are more secure, until John has completed his education, until he has a better-paying job, until we have a larger home, until we’ve obtained a few of the material conveniences,” and on and on.
This is the reasoning of the world, and is not pleasing in the sight of God. Mothers who enjoy good health, have your children and have them early.
Ezra Taft Benson, LDS Church President, To the Mothers in Zion, 1987
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/womens-divine-roles-and-responsibilities/to-the-mothers-in-zion-institute
This command is not merely a suggestion to prioritize family—it is a mandate that young women surrender autonomy over their bodies and life trajectories. Framed as divine counsel, it pressures girls and young women to fast-track marriage and childbearing, often at the expense of education, career development, and emotional maturity.
By placing urgency on early motherhood, the church sidelines personal growth and informed decision-making. It creates a culture where waiting, whether to marry, to pursue higher education, or to ensure emotional readiness, is portrayed as disobedience. Young women are taught that their most righteous choice is immediate domesticity, not self-discovery.
The long-term consequences of this pressure are significant. Women who follow this path may later confront lost opportunities, stunted careers, or a sense of identity crisis once their children grow. Others who deviate from the path may wrestle with guilt or fear that they’ve disappointed God.
Motherhood can be deeply meaningful, but it should be a choice—not a spiritual ultimatum. Rushing women into that role before they’re ready doesn’t honor their potential; it robs them of it.
A Woman’s Worth Defined by Domesticity
Repeatedly, church leaders have painted the ideal woman as a nurturing mother and a devoted housekeeper. Gordon B. Hinckley, former LDS Church president, famously declared:
There is no more beautiful picture than that of a good woman cooking a meal.
Gordon B. Hinckley, LDS Church President, To the Women of the Church, 2003
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2003/10/to-the-women-of-the-church
This sentimentalized view reduces a woman’s worth to a scene from a 1950s television show, ignoring the full spectrum of human potential. It suggests not only that a woman’s value is found in service to others, but that her fulfillment lies exclusively in the kitchen. Not to mention the leadership remarks about how women should wear lipstick and makeup to look better for men.
Russell M. Nelson echoed this limited vision when he stated,
There are no greater roles for a woman than those of wife and mother.
Russell M. Nelson, as LDS Apostle, Woman—Of Infinite Worth, 1989
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1989/10/woman-of-infinite-worth
The problem isn’t the celebration of motherhood; it’s the exclusion of other roles as valid or meaningful. This framing disqualifies the unmarried, the childless, the career-driven, or even those simply seeking self-actualization outside domestic life.
Policing the Boundaries of Female Ambition
The LDS Church does more than idealize homemaking; it discourages deviation from it. Ezra Taft Benson, another church president, warned:
You are to become a career woman in the greatest career on earth—that of homemaker, wife, and mother. It was never intended by the Lord that married women should compete with men in employment. They have a far greater and more important service to render
Spencer W. Kimball, Faith Precedes the Miracle, page 128
Ezra Taft Benson, LDS Church President, To the Mothers in Zion, 1987
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/womens-divine-roles-and-responsibilities/to-the-mothers-in-zion-institute
This is not counsel against overwork or economic stress—it’s a commandment against women entering the workforce. Even worse, Boyd K. Packer instructs,
Put your homes in order. If Mother is working outside of the home, see if there are ways to change that.
Boyd K. Packer, LDS Apostle, Do Not Fear, 2004
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2004/05/do-not-fear
This positions any professional ambition as spiritually suspect, a threat to divine order rather than a legitimate life path. It ignores economic realities, personal callings, and the enormous value that women contribute outside the domestic sphere.
Education with Limits
In a striking example of gendered double standards, Hinckley posed this rhetorical question to young men:
I say to you young men, rise up and discipline yourself to take advantage of educational opportunities. Do you wish to marry a girl whose education has been far superior to your own?
Gordon B. Hinckley, LDS Church President, Rise Up, O Men of God, 2006
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2006/11/rise-up-o-men-of-god
Rather than encouraging mutual respect and learning in relationships, this line reinforces a hierarchy where male superiority is to be protected—even at the cost of a woman’s intellectual growth.
This message subtly, yet powerfully, discourages women from pursuing academic excellence. If too much education makes them “less desirable” as spouses, then even spiritual leaders are teaching them to shrink themselves for the sake of male egos.
The Sacred Kitchen
One of the more striking moments of gendered theology came from Russell M. Nelson, who said to a congregation of priesthood holders:
It is a joy to be with you tonight, brethren, and wonderful to see so many young men with their fathers. We are assembled because of our desire to hearken to the leaders of the Church. But this congregation is unique. I don’t see any mothers. Not one of us could be here without a mother, yet we are all here—without our mothers.
Tonight I am attending with a son, sons-in-law, and grandsons. Where are their mothers? Gathered in the kitchen of our home!
Russell M. Nelson, as LDS Apostle, Our Sacred Duty to Honor Women, 1999
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1999/04/our-sacred-duty-to-honor-women
This line, intended to honor mothers, becomes tragically ironic. It doesn’t ask where the women are with concern—it celebrates their absence from meaningful participation elsewhere. The message is clear: real women don’t lead, speak, or create in the public square. They stay where they belong—out of sight, serving others.
The Holy Ceiling
The church’s emphasis on homemaking as a woman’s highest aspiration isn’t simply cultural—it’s doctrinal. Benson declared:
Homemaking is the highest, most noble profession to which a woman might aspire.
Ezra Taft Benson, LDS Church President, The Honored Place of Woman, 1981
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1981/10/the-honored-place-of-woman
This isn’t framed as one beautiful option among many, but as a divine commandment. And any woman who feels pulled toward science, the arts, public service, or entrepreneurship? Her ambition is not just discouraged—it is depicted as spiritually inferior.
This sets a spiritual glass ceiling, not just professionally but existentially. If God only smiles on one kind of woman—the mother, the housekeeper, the cook—then everyone else is left out of the blessing.
The Real Cost: Silenced Voices and Lost Potential
When the church teaches that a woman’s purpose is predetermined and confined, it’s not simply offering guidance—it’s prescribing a future. These teachings can lead women to silence their own inner voices, abandon their dreams, and feel guilty for wanting more. And while the church champions personal revelation, women are clearly told what God is supposed to say.
My dear sisters, you marvelous women who have chosen the better part, I stand in great admiration for all that you do. I see your hands in everything.
Many of you are mothers, and that is enough to occupy one’s full time.
You are companions—the very best friends your husbands have or ever will have.
You are housekeepers. That doesn’t sound like much, does it? But what a job it is to keep a house clean and tidy.
You are shoppers. Until I got older I never dreamed of what a demanding responsibility it is to keep food in the pantry, to keep clothing neat and presentable, to buy all that is needed to keep a home running.
You are nurses. With every illness that comes along, you are the first to be told about it and the first to respond with help. In cases of serious sickness, you are at the bedside day and night, comforting, encouraging, ministering, praying.
You are the family chauffeur. You are driving your children about on paper routes, taking them to athletic events, driving them on ward outings, hauling here, there, and everywhere as they pursue their busy lives.
And so I might go on.
Gordon B. Hinckley, LDS Church President, To the Women of the Church, 2003
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2003/10/to-the-women-of-the-church
Again, in the Doctrine and Covenants, we read: “Women have claim on their husbands for their maintenance, until their husbands are taken” (D&C 83:2). This is the divine right of a wife and mother. She cares for and nourishes her children at home. Her husband earns the living for the family, which makes this nourishing possible. With that claim on their husbands for their financial support, the counsel of the Church has always been for mothers to spend their full time in the home in rearing and caring for their children.
We realize also that some of our choice sisters are widowed and divorced and that others find themselves in unusual circumstances where, out of necessity, they are required to work for a period of time. But these instances are the exception, not the rule.
Ezra Taft Benson, LDS Church President, To the Mothers in Zion, 1987
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/womens-divine-roles-and-responsibilities/to-the-mothers-in-zion-institute
These messages aren’t just outdated; they’re harmful. They erase the complexity of individual lives and reduce divine purpose to a checklist: marry young, stay home, keep house, serve quietly.
Honor Women by Trusting Them
The LDS Church claims to honor women, yet its teachings repeatedly infantilize them, question their independence, and confine their worth to menial labor. Real honor means trusting women to choose their own paths, define their own worth, and participate fully in society, in the home and beyond.
If the church truly believes in the divine potential of every soul, it must stop treating half its membership as if their destiny ends at the kitchen door.
More reading:
- Mormon Women Belong in the Pew—Not at the Pulpit
- Oaks, On Young Women Becoming Pornography
- Church Leaders on Power and Authority Broadly Given To Women
- Lorenzo Snow Taught Women Have Less Light and Knowledge Than Men
- Brad Wilcox On Asking the Wrong Questions
- Relief Society President on Working Mothers and Living Prophets