Mike was raised in the church and hit all the Mormon milestones. His wife struggled with church truth claims and left the church. He “eventually realized that [he] married her and not the church,” but also intended to reason her back into the church to regain his celestial family. He came up with issues that didn’t make sense until he was met with the story of Helen Marr Kimball, to which “all of [his] belief collapsed”. He knew he couldn’t follow the church anymore and now the whole family has left – they are happier and more together than ever!
I hit all of the milestones and served a mission at age 19. I married an amazing woman and we had 5 kids. We were one of those stalwart “same ten people” families. I never said no to a calling, even the ones I knew I would hate. I was a Mormon.
My wife preceded me out of the church. Her leaving was like a gut punch. How could we have a celestial family with a non-believing mom. It took me a bit to come to terms with it, and she helped me immensely, but I eventually realized that I married her and not the church.
I decided to double down and get us all there. At the same time, I tried to understand why she left. I will absolutely admit that I was arrogant enough to think that if she gave me the reasons, I would be able to “reason” her back into the church. Wow was I wrong.
I had plenty of shelf items, but the first time I was honestly and permanently stumped was when we were talking about the Book of Abraham. I never studied apologetics, but I knew all of the “answers” anyway. The problem is, the only good answer for it is “wow, that doesn’t make sense.”
I started to listen to A Year of Polygamy podcast on her recommendation. When I got to the episode about Helen Marr Kimball, all of my belief collapsed. How could I follow a man that would do that. My wife told me about her shelf-breaker, the Lowry Nelson letters. Our kids have all left as well. It has been a difficult time leaving, but our little family is happier and more together than ever.
Mike
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