Hello, I'm Ken Nichols

After two years of personal study into church history and church doctrine, I knew that I would never see the church the same again. I no longer believed the church was based upon truth, but that it was based on a foundation of untruths. This was excruciating and painful, because I had been so active for so long, and even fervently taught my children. Even though having loss my testimony, I determined to stay in the church, because of family members and close friends who were believing members. But for me personally, staying in was very difficult. I felt like a hypocrite, believing one thing, and living another. It tore me apart! For another three years I oscillated back and forth. I would decide that I just could not embrace the false foundational "truths" of the church, and would determine to leave it. Then I would get a glimpse of how much hurt this would cause many of my loved ones, and would re-commit, believing that staying in the church was best for them. But repeatedly, I found that I was unable, or at least unwilling, to stay. I just could not embrace or endorse the church by attending, paying tithing, or serving in callings. I even came to see my very membership as endorsing something that I fundamentally did not believe was right. Finally at age 61 I left the church permanently, having my name removed from the records.