Mike’s journey is one of breaking free, finding hope, and discovering a faith that truly heals. A former soldier and lifelong member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, he faced the deep wounds of war—PTSD, depression, and self-doubt—while struggling to find peace within the church that had shaped his life. Therapists offered coping mechanisms but no cure. Church attendance felt empty. He was searching for something more.
Everything changed when an unexpected encounter on the street led him to a new way of worship—a place where he truly felt the presence of Jesus. In that moment, amidst the noise of a gospel service, he experienced a miraculous healing. The burdens of his past were lifted, his pain was taken, and he was made new in Christ. But healing didn’t just mean personal restoration. It meant stepping away from the faith tradition of his past and embracing a life fully centered on Jesus, free from the authority of earthly institutions. No longer bound by religious structures, Mike found his identity as a disciple of Christ, led not by men but by the voice of God in his heart.
I was healed by Jesus Christ. I was a Mormon.
I got out of the Army in 2015 and moved across the country back home to Utah. It didn’t take long for the years of military service, deployment and experiences to register as depression, self-hatred, pornography addiction and PTSD. I could not sleep at night without horrible night terrors. It was more restful to not sleep. I would go for 36-48 hours without sleep and then sleep for 4-6 hours in demon filled nightmares. Just being alive was hard. As long as I had a project to work on, I could numb those feelings and pour himself into work, projects and home improvements, which meant I was always busy working on something.
I went to multiple therapists, leaving more frustrated than when I arrived. Every week it was like stirring up a dirty fish tank and then taking the next few days to let everything settle again. Through counseling, I learned some things though. I learned that men typically show their depression through anger, not sadness. I learned that people who are depressed seem pessimistic, but they are usually accurate about the circumstances, with a slight “gray filter”. But sadly, none of my therapists could ever show someone that had recovered from PTSD. They admitted that they were just trying to give them coping tools, and learning to coexist with the depression and PTSD.
I struggled going to church. If there was magic at church, I desperately needed it, and yet, could not find anything. I was told regularly from people at church that I should ‘just be happy’. I heard people talk about all the things ‘they know’ but did not see or feel it. I was frustrated with the darkness I saw in the world, primarily the strong arm of the military, and my powerlessness to fight it.
The bishop called my wife and I into his office after church. We were determined to say “no” to anything he asked, or any calling he would offer. The bishop, extended an offer from God, that would change our lives, to lead the discussion in Gospel Doctrine. We said yes. January 2022 brought the Old Testament into the focus. It was during this time that we began listening to some online teachers expound the Torah. After some incredibly biased sermons, I decided I needed to learn Hebrew so I could read the bible in it’s original text and not have it translated with bias. I began studying Hebrew and God blessed me with the ability to learn amazing things.
We had a pretty set schedule of going to the swimming pool every weekday for an hour of open lap swim. One particular Tuesday, I decided I would walk. I’d had a terrible night, filled with demon tormenting nightmares. As I passed a man on the street, he turned around and said “Jesus loves you”. I stopped in my tracks. I needed to talk to him. He prayed with me, right there on the street. He told me that he worships at The Potter’s House on Monroe, and that I would be welcome anytime. That next Sunday, we went. It was packed. No one had their phones out. They were there to worship. In my minds eye, I felt the door behind me open and Jesus Christ walk in. Jesus put his hand on my shoulder and said “I love these people”. It was fun to sing along with the band. The sermon by the preacher was entertaining and inspiring. Everyone really enjoyed it.
They asked everyone to close their eyes and bow their heads and anyone who was struggling, searching or ready to grow closer to the savior was to raise their hand. Then he had everyone who raised their hands to come to the front alter. I went up front. The band played loud gospel music. I was able to pour out my heart, might, mind and strength at the Saviors feet. I felt God, through Jesus Christ’s loving atonement, take all my pain, struggles, depression, self-hatred, pornography addiction and PTSD from me. In the noise filled hall, amid crowds of people, Jesus Christ saved me.
After the service, I asked God, “What should I do? Do I go to this church now?” God answered, “You belong to me now. You can worship me wherever you want”. It’s been 2 wonderful years of new birth. They have been amazing and expansive, seeing God’s work and hand in all things, having many mighty miracles manifest in our lives. We are in awe of our God and King. This process likely won’t work for anyone else if they duplicated it, but I am healed in the most miraculous way, and it’s promised to all who take up their cross and follow Jesus.
I wasn’t going leave the LDS church until I heard His voice in my heart say, “You need to do this.” I was going to just be undercover and not try to make waves, but physical courage is easier than moral courage. So here I am standing for the God of love. He has asked us to love everyone, especially those that are hard to love. I have my own beliefs and my own inner jewels. I don’t need any man on earth to tell me what I can and cannot believe. I have one King, one Lord, one shepherd. He is the only “living prophet.” I want to be His disciple and I want Him to rule my life.
Mike
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