Olivia Was a Mormon, an Exmormon Profile Spotlight

Olivia noticed that the promises from the church were empty as she did everything asked and saw the double standard applied to leaders and founder Joseph Smith. He didn’t live the sexual standards of the church.

My main concern has been sexuality— how it’s controlled in the personal lives of members, especially those who are queer. I’ve experienced harmful shame over developmentally normal aspects of sexuality. The high standard the church requires for entering into temple covenants was something I fought for and met, but being in the highest tier a regular member can get, I found empty promises. I was disappointed to learn that Joseph Smith, who I loved and respected dearly, was the chief misuser of sexuality. Then many things fell into place as to the hypocrisy of the unreasonable standards of misogyny and submission required on a psychological level to meet these requirements. I also value honesty, and see that many contradictions exist which have personally affected my life, but I clung and trusted. The only way I was able to allow myself to entertain that it might not be true is through my husband reassuring me that he would stay with me and our relationship would not change if I were to leave. – Olivia

“My main concern has been sexuality— how it’s controlled in the personal lives of members, especially those who are queer. I’ve experienced harmful shame over developmentally normal aspects of sexuality. The high standard the church requires for entering into temple covenants was something I fought for and met, but being in the highest tier a regular member can get, I found empty promises. I was disappointed to learn that Joseph Smith, who I loved and respected dearly, was the chief misuser of sexuality. Then many things fell into place as to the hypocrisy of the unreasonable standards of misogyny and submission required on a psychological level to meet these requirements. I also value honesty, and see that many contradictions exist which have personally affected my life, but I clung and trusted. The only way I was able to allow myself to entertain that it might not be true is through my husband reassuring me that he would stay with me and our relationship would not change if I were to leave.”
Olivia

Continue reading the full wasmormon profile at https://wasmormon.org/profile/livsters/

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