Skip to content
  • Join
  • Login
wasmormon.org

wasmormon.org

Stories of mormon faith transitions. Share your truth – own your story!

  • Profiles
  • Create Profile
  • Questions
  • Blog
  • About

Hi, My name is Mike.

I am a husband, father, teacher, reader, questioner, thinker, traveler and I am living my best life. I was a mormon.

Mike profile image for wasmormon.org

    About me

    I was raised in a half-mormon household. This somewhat unique circumstance (particularly in that era of the late 60's and 70's) exacerbated the negative effects of mormonism upon my psyche, yet may have allowed for an easier departure when that event occurred.

    My mother was a full in mormon, at least to the extent that she thought she was, having herself been raised in a poor mormon household. My father was not a member, not a participant, not interested, generally did not openly express an opinion about how my mother was raising us "in the church," but on occasion said "do what your mother tells you."  Due to the fundamentals of the nuclear family requirement within the mormon "plan of salvation," my siblings and I could not fit the mormon mold. At every Ward event, as children and then more so during our adolescence and regardless of our behavior, level of activity, or our outward appearance, it was my sense that my siblings and I were regarded as if each of us had three heads. However, per my mother's edict, our attendance and participation was a fundamental requirement of our existence.

    In addition to the other damaging elements of a "high demand religion" that act to dissolve or prevent the formation of a person's individual identity, my experience in mormonism also included a state of chronic alienation from those of the same age who were supposed to be my peers. My social existence was this: At school, I was the quiet, skinny little Mormon kid. At "church," to my supposed peers, I was the quiet, skinny little kid who either didn't have a father, or even worse, whose father "wasn't a member!" To the adult mormons, I was the quiet, skinny little kid who was to be pitied.

    I left Mormonism at age 19. One might think that my exposure to the cult was therefore very limited, and, yes I am fortunate to have left when I did. However, I left still bearing many scars, wounds, confusions and emotional difficulties that were mostly hidden and not recognized nor understood by me. These things I sorted out over several phases of healing and genuine spiritual discovery throughout life, but not without trouble and tragedy in the interim. My family dynamics certainly contributed to those dysfunctions, but Mormonism acted to cement those dysfunctions and also prevented or greatly impeded other potential moderating or positive mentoring influences that would have otherwise been available from outside my family situation.

    On my shelf

    • 116 Lost Pages
    • Adam-God
    • blacks and the priesthood
    • blood atonement
    • Book of Abraham Translation
    • Book of Mormon anachronisms
    • Brigham Young's polygamy
    • church culture
    • historicity of book of mormon
    • masonic rituals
    • mountain meadows massacre
    • polygamy
    • shame culture

    On the Mormon Spectrum

    • Exmormon
    • Resigned

    # Why I left More stories of 'Why I left' the Mormon church

    In my youth, before I physically left, I never really developed a "testimony" of the truthfulness of Mormonism and all of the blah, blah, blah that goes with that. However, within the dynamics of my growing up home environment, I did not develop the personal sovereignty, nor the courage, nor even the idea, to say to my Mormon parent, "I don't believe in this, therefor, I am no longer going to pretend by doing the things I am 'supposed' to do there."

    Approaching that important male age of 19, I had other plans, big plans, productive plans, ambitious plans, plans of achievement and adventure. Going on a Mission certainly did not align with those plans. More importantly, going on a Mission did not align with the sense of truth and integrity that I had begun to develop. I knew it would be the moment of "separation" from my over-controlling mother, but going on a Mission was absent from my plans. There was no way that I would participate in preparing for and then inflicting the Mormon sales pitch on fellow human beings. To do so would have been trying to sell them on a view of the universe that I did not believe (even to the incomplete extent of what I knew Mormon beliefs were) and in fact a view that I was sick of being force-fed to me.

    Another important feature of my awareness was that my Mormon peers were already well into their careers of hypocrisy -- outwardly being the "worthy," upstanding favorite Mormon sons of their full-in, "perfect" Mormon, temple-attending parents, and the favorite sons of the Ward. Yet in reality they were conniving, selfish, cussing, alcohol-sneaking, spoiled assholes. For instance, the church ladies glowed about them, but me, mostly a quiet, good kid, I was generally ignored and not appreciated. The reality of the social structure was apparent to me. It was grace-less, God-less and crass under a thin veneer.

    I was attending community college full-time and also working second-shift full-time at a manufacturing job -- both in preparation for my impending departure to a four - year University five hours away when these two events occurred, (I don't recall in which order, but they were within several weeks of each other):

    1. One evening when I was at the factory entrance punching the time clock beginning my 2nd shift work, I encountered Brother P______ as he was leaving the building (he might have been the Ward Clerk at the time). I was vaguely aware that Brother P______ worked at the same place in a white collar job. It was odd that he would be exiting the very large building at the same entrance where us hourlies punched the time clock. Regardless, he saw me there and engaged me in conversation. He asked, "Mike, are you going to go on a Mission?" I said, "No, I am not. I am making preparations to go to University ____ in the Fall, study Aerospace Engineering, enter the Air Force through ROTC and go on to fly jets." Brother P______ replied, with a mix of disgust and disappointment, "Well, that's too bad!" The context of my Mormon peers at the time is important. The more socially preferred boys in the local Mormon society had no plans for their future. They had no self-designed or self-determined ambitions. They were merely on the Mormon conveyor belt awaiting their processing into their servitude and then a continued infantilism of outwardly only doing what they were told to do, while inwardly, doing whatever they could get away with.

    2. My mother told me that the Bishop would like to have a meeting with me, but told me that she was not aware of the topic of the meeting. Merely out of cordiality, I agreed to the meeting. By this time, I had recognized that the Bishop no longer had any sway of authority over me, as I had previously perceived him to have. At the meeting, after opening chit-chat, the Bishop informed me that he had in front of him, on his desk, my Mission Calling paperwork. This was a bit of a surprise to me, (perhaps that was intended) because, even though I had not stated it, I thought it would have been clear that I had no intention of going on a Mission. At the time, my attendance and participation was approaching zero. I had never really completed Seminary. Today my recollections of that pretense of education or learning is quite spotty, but I certainly was not qualified in that way. However, I figured out that, despite all of the propaganda about preparation, all that was really required was a body temp near 98.6F. Today, I wish that I had somehow already developed some swagger with which to respond to the Bishop. However, "No thank you. I have other plans..." might be all that I could muster.

    Mini-Epilogue: Subsequently I earned a B.S. in Aerospace Engineering and two advanced degrees later, and I earned the titles "Colonel" and "Captain" in military and civilian aviation careers respectively.

    Questions about Mormons My Answers to Questions about Mormonism

    #Link to this answer of 'Have you had any profound spiritual moments in your life?' by Mike Have you had any profound spiritual moments in your life? See more answers about 'Have you had any profound spiritual moments in your life?'

    Yes, but none of them were when I was Mormon.

    #Link to this answer of 'Are Mormons Christian?' by Mike Are Mormons Christian? See more answers about 'Are Mormons Christian?'

    No. Mormonism, LDS, TSCC, TCOJCOLDS, or whatever the title, is a fraudulent rip-off and perverted imposter of orthodox (small "o") Christian ideas, practice and history.

    When viewed academically, Christianity is categorized as one of the three great Abrahamic mono-theistic religions. However, inside its veiled theology, that is not admitted to publicly, moronism certainly must be categorized as a polytheistic religion - a religion with multiple gods. Therefore, Mormonism does not even fit within the basic definition of an Abrahamic religion.

    In its practice, morality and social structure, Mormonism holds to opposites of Christianity. Instead of grace and forgiveness, Mormonism offers a system of shame. Instead of freedom, Mormonism offers the chains of rules upon rules and ever changing rules that a necessary for CK entrance, some of which are actually emotionally and relationally harmful, and for which complete attainment is beyond any human. Instead of knowledge of irrevocable salvation, Mormonism offers only that one must always question if they have done enough and they might make a mis-step that will forever condemn themselves and their families to separation from the CK.

    #Link to this answer of 'Are you happy?' by Mike Are you happy? See more answers about 'Are you happy?'

    Yes. Exceedingly! More importantly, I am available to experience and embrace joy, grace, wisdom and truth through open seeking of it.

    #Link to this answer of 'Do you consider yourself a Christian?' by Mike Do you consider yourself a Christian? See more answers about 'Do you consider yourself a Christian?'

    Well, yes, but not "still." I converted to Christianity after much de-programming and de-learning of LDS "teachings."

    #Link to this answer of 'What advice would you give folks who are transitioning?' by Mike What advice would you give folks who are transitioning? See more answers about 'What advice would you give folks who are transitioning?'

    1. Beware of what I term as the pendulum effect. Imagine that you may be at an extreme, in many ways, that is not of your doing. I have observed, to some degree in myself, that when released from that extreme, one tends to fly off to opposite extremes. Those may not be the genuine "you" any more than the Mormon version was.

    2. When you think you are healed, de-programmed, free, or fully awakened... you probably aren't, yet.

    #Link to this answer of 'Is the Mormon church a cult?' by Mike Is the Mormon church a cult? See more answers about 'Is the Mormon church a cult?'

    Yes. Mormonism (LDS) exhibits the characteristics of a cult and/or "high demand religion" as defined by those who have significantly studied cult phenomena.

    #Link to this answer of 'Why don't you leave the mormon church alone?' by Mike Why don't you leave the mormon church alone? See more answers about 'Why don't you leave the mormon church alone?'

    The authoritarian leaders inside of Mormonism are the ones most frequently asking this question. It is in their interest to tamp down any and all criticism or exposure of origins of and the real beliefs propagated within LDS/Mormonism. Their demands that we "leave the church alone" is like a bank robber telling the witnesses to be quiet, and not complain about or expose the heist. Of course having such an expectation is absurd in a world where one human being should be concerned with the well-being of any another human being and where all should want truth and justice to be the norm.

    #Link to this answer of 'Did the gospel topic essays help your faith crisis?' by Mike Did the gospel topic essays help your faith crisis? See more answers about 'Did the gospel topic essays help your faith crisis?'

    No. They came out long after I had left. However, they validate the conviction that Mormonism was all made up by J.S. and later by the "brethren" along the way. The essays are essentially damning admissions by the cult of its two centuries of it fraud, treachery, emotional and spiritual abuse and tyranny over their people.

    Spotlight on Mike

    • "I am a husband, father, teacher, reader, questioner, thinker, traveler and I am living my best life. I was raised in a half-mormon household. This somewhat unique circumstance exacerbated the negative effects of Mormonism upon my psyche, yet may have allowed for an easier departure when that event occurred. I was a Mormon." - Mike | https://wasmormon.org/profile/deserveliberty/
    • “My father was not a member, not a participant, not interested, generally did not openly express an opinion about how my mother was raising us "in the church," but on occasion said "do what your mother tells you." Per my mother's edict, our attendance and participation was a fundamental requirement of our existence. At "church" to my supposed peers, I was the quiet, skinny little kid who either didn't have a father, or even worse, whose father "wasn't a member!"” - Mike | https://wasmormon.org/profile/deserveliberty/
    • "I left Mormonism at age 19. One might think that my exposure to the cult was therefore very limited, and, yes I am fortunate to have left when I did. However, I left still bearing many scars, wounds, confusions and emotional difficulties that were mostly hidden and not recognized nor understood by me. These things I sorted out over several phases of healing and genuine spiritual discovery throughout life, but not without trouble and tragedy in the interim. My family dynamics certainly contributed to those dysfunctions, but Mormonism acted to cement those dysfunctions and also prevented or greatly impeded other potential moderating or positive mentoring influences that would have otherwise been available from outside my family situation." - Mike | https://wasmormon.org/profile/deserveliberty/
    • "In my youth, before I physically left, I did not develop the personal sovereignty, nor the courage, nor even the idea, to say to my Mormon parent, "I don't believe in this, therefor, I am no longer going to pretend by doing the things I am 'supposed' to do there." Approaching that important male age of 19, I had other plans, going on a Mission did not align with the sense of truth and integrity that I had begun to develop. There was no way that I would participate in preparing for and then inflicting the Mormon sales pitch on fellow human beings. To do so would have been trying to sell them on a view of the universe that I did not believe." - Mike | https://wasmormon.org/profile/deserveliberty/
    • “One evening when I was at the factory entrance punching the time clock beginning my 2nd shift work, I encountered Brother P. as he was leaving the building and engaged me in conversation. He asked, "Mike, are you going to go on a Mission?" I said, "No, I am not. I am making preparations to go to University in the Fall, study Aerospace Engineering, enter the Air Force through ROTC and go on to fly jets." Brother P. replied, with a mix of disgust and disappointment, "Well, that's too bad!"” - Mike | https://wasmormon.org/profile/deserveliberty/
    • "The more socially preferred boys in the local Mormon society had no plans for their future. They were merely on the Mormon conveyor belt awaiting their processing into their servitude and then a continued infantilism of outwardly only doing what they were told to do, while inwardly, doing whatever they could get away with. My mother told me that the Bishop would like to have a meeting with me. By this time, I had recognized that the Bishop no longer had any sway of authority over me, as I had previously perceived him to have. At the meeting, the Bishop informed me that he had in front of him, on his desk, my Mission Calling paperwork. " - Mike | https://wasmormon.org/profile/deserveliberty/
    • "This was a bit of a surprise to me as my participation was approaching zero. Despite all of the propaganda about preparation, all that was really required was a body temp near 98.6F. Today, I wish that I had somehow already developed some swagger with which to respond to the Bishop. However, "No thank you. I have other plans..." might be all that I could muster. Subsequently, I earned a B.S. in Aerospace Engineering and two advanced degrees, and I earned the titles "Colonel" and "Captain" in military and civilian aviation careers respectively." - Mike | https://wasmormon.org/profile/deserveliberty/
    • "Mormonism is a fraudulent rip-off and perverted imposter of orthodox (small "o") Christian ideas, practice and history. When you think you are healed, de-programmed, free, or fully awakened... you probably aren't, yet. Am I happy? Yes, Exceedingly! More importantly, I am available to experience and embrace joy, grace, wisdom and truth through open seeking of it." - Mike | https://wasmormon.org/profile/deserveliberty/
    • Why don't I leave the church alone? The authoritarian leaders inside of Mormonism are the ones most frequently asking this question. It is in their interest to tamp down any and all criticism or exposure of origins of and the real beliefs propagated within LDS/Mormonism. Their demands that we "leave the church alone" is like a bank robber telling the witnesses to be quiet, and not complain about or expose the heist. Of course having such an expectation is absurd in a world where one human being should be concerned with the well-being of any another human being and where all should want truth and justice to be the norm." - Mike | https://wasmormon.org/profile/deserveliberty/
    • Highlights from Mike's "I was a Mormon" story, read the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/deserveliberty/
    • Share this profile

    • Share link on Facebook
    • Share link on twitter
    • Share link on reddit
    • Share link via email
    Contribute your own story
    Back to the Directory
    Random Profile
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Reddit
    • Bluesky
    • Mastodon
    • Twitter
    • RSS Feed

    Register or Log In

    Lost your password? Register

    Forgotten Password

    Cancel

    Register For This Site

    A password will be e-mailed to you.

    Profile Details

    Thanks for signing up!

    Are you ready to start your profile now? You can always add/update your profile later, and in order to display on the website you’ll still need to complete your account setup and sign in.

    Cancel

    Subscribe

    Sign up to receive the monthly newsletter!
    wasmormon.org

    Though this site discusses mormonism, topics related to mormons, the mormon church and people who refer to themselves as unorthodox mormons, ex-mormons, post-mormons or any other form of wasmormon, it is not officially affiliated with or managed by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or even the Corporation of the Presiding Bishop. They don't want to be called mormon anymore anyways. All of the content, stories or opinions expressed, implied or included in this site are solely credited to those sharing their own personal stories and not those of Intellectual Reserve, Inc. or The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

    Privacy Policy
    • Stories
    • Questions
    • Blog
    • Images
    • About
    • Resources
    • Contact
    • How To Help
    • Community Guidelines