From full devotion and good mormon stock, Valerie had items on her shelf from an early age. As time went on, the concerns on her shelf accumulated until she couldn’t ignore them all. Her shelf broke through the years of research trying to make it all work. You can’t ignore things once you know them, and with knowledge, she honestly didn’t have the ability to believe the church was divinely inspired anymore. She has found comfort in the uncertainty, it’s more honest than false confidence in fake answers.
I love sunny days, vacations and feeling understood. I was a mormon.
I was born to Mormon parents who came from a multi-generational mormon heritage. I got married in the temple and had 5 children. I always did my best to live my religion to the best of my abilities. I was a very devoted, conscientious member.
I always had a couple areas that were troubling and problematic for me from the time I was young, but I always found ways to push those things aside and blamed it on my own “weak faith” or inability to understand. As the years progressed, I continued to have more and more concerns that became harder and harder to push away or justify as only being my own lack of understanding.
It was a very hard and emotional journey, full of years of exhaustive research. I have resigned after several years of having no more ability to believe that this church was divinely inspired.
I am comfortable in “not knowing” how it all works on the other side. For me, it has been easier to handle what I don’t know, than it was for the things I “did know,” but had legitimate issues with while in the church. If I don’t know, then I don’t find myself getting hung up on answers that I find problematic or troubling, like I did with many of the “known” answers we supposedly had in the church. I have no interest in trying to find another religion.Valerie
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