Shrinkage, shrinkage
Looks like the Church is suffering shrinkage
They always bragged the Church had grown, but now
Complete statistics are never shown
Lying, hiding
The Church’s numbers we aren’t buying
Now, if an apostle says that the Church has grown
We know an apostle who needs to atone
Count the apostates
The declining birth rates
And the excommunications
Add them all together
Growth claims become untethered
In light of that negative sum, a-hum
Attendance, falling
Getting hard to fill all the callings
Especially, those that demand the priesthood of a worthy man
Women will get the priesthood
Only when there aren’t enough men who could
And with the rate of shrinkage, the prophet will soon be a woman
Young families leaving
Means the Church is bleeding
And this will only spread
And in most cases
Where saints leave with no traces
They’re counted long after they’re dead, oh ya.
Preventing shrinkage
The Brethren know that there’s linkage
Between the prophet taking members in his firm hand
Lord, help the prophet
Who doesn’t follow this posit
Members must be excited and prophets should do it firsthand
Shrinkage
Shrinkage
Shrinkage can be reversed with a guiding hand
Poem by P. Luke Firestoker
This post is by p luke firestoker.
Hi, I'm PLukeFirestoker
I write ex-Mormon poetry and parody songs and do occasional cartoons. Most have never been seen or heard, but a few are on Facebook. There is not much of a demand for these works. Such is life. I believe I am supposed to terminate this with the phrase, "I was Mormon".
