What resources have helped you through the process of leaving?
Videos to check out:
Science Saved My Soul youtube.com/…
Through These Godless Eyes youtube.com/…
You Can Heal Your Life youtube.com/…
My Music Channel youtube.com/user/christopherlanedavis/…
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Resources that Tom finds useful:
Websites:
Mormonthink.com
Exmormon.org
Postmormon.org
askreality.com
Samharris.org and Quotes by Sam Harris
drwaynedyer.com
Lolajones.com
Scholarly Books you can buy at Deseret BookJoseph Smith: Rough Stone Rolling by Richard Bushman
Joseph Smith and The Beginnings of Mormonism by Richard Bushman
Books you used to be able to get at Deseret BookAn Insider’s View of Mormon Origins by Grant Palmer
Mormon Enigma (a Biography of Emma Smith) by Linda King Newell and Valerie Tippetts Avery
Other Books that I found helpfulThe End of Faith by Sam Harris
Letter to a Christian Nation by Sam Harris
The Pagan Christ by Tom Harpur
The Jesus Mysteries by Peter Gandy and Timothy Freke
Other Books that helped me understand Spirituality outside MormonismLoving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life by Byron Katie (Highly recommended by Tom – he says it is a must read, if you are coming out of Mormonism or not!)
Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life by Dr. Wayne Dyer
The Power Of Intention by Dr. Wayne Dyer
Living The Wisdom Of The Tao by Dr. Wayne Dyer
The Intention Experiment by Lynn McTaggert
The Field by Lynn McTaggert
Things Are Going Great In My Absence by Lola Jones
The Seven Spiritual Laws Of Success by Deepak Chopra
and many others by Deepak ChopraI highly recommend going to the Chopra Clinic to at least learn meditation, and take the coarse, “Healing the Heart”. I also highly recommend going to Lola Jones’ 5 day silent retreat. I found these activities to be the most helpful I’ve done for healing after leaving Mormonism.
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Some links to information that I found helpful:
Jim Whitefield’s Ex Mormon Foundation talk, “Will the Real Joseph Smith Please Stand Up?” 2010
Dianne Ormond’s letter of membership resignation
“In Sacred Loneliness: The Plural Wives of Joseph Smith” by Todd Compton
“Joseph Smith: Rough Stone Rolling” by Richard Lyman Bushman
“No Man Knows My History” by Fawn M. Brodie
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The web sites I would view as being helpful are:
mormonthink.com/
forum.newordermormon.org/
postmormon.org/
youtube.com/user/…
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Links that helped us in our research and recovery:
* Historic documents and analyses of the LDS church: Utah Lighthouse Ministry (Sandra and Jerald Tanner)
utlm.org/
* Ex-Mormon Scholars Testify exmormonscholarstestify.org/
* Website of Steven Hassan (religious cult expert and psychologist): freedomofmind.com/bite/
* “Why bad beliefs don’t die” by Gregory Lester: csicop.org/si/show/why_bad_beliefs_dont_die/
* MormonThink mormonthink.com/
* German: Mormonismus Online mormonismus-online.de/
* Sam Keen – An inquiring philosopher samkeen.com/
* Really good video series on Theism and Atheism: youtube.com/user/…
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Helpful links during exit from Mormonsim:
Significant information about the Mormon church:
postmormon.org/
wivesofjosephsmith.org/
“No Man Knows My History” by Fawn M. Brodie
Journal of DiscoursesTwo fiction books with religious overtones:
“Oscar and Lucinda” by Peter Carey
“Life of Pi” by Yann Martel
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Therapy. It's crazy to me that a month in therapy did more good for my mental health than two decades in God's supposed one true church ever could. Making my own decisions and being confident about them has freed me from the guilt and anxiety that come with believing there's a God and a church who will shun you if you make any mistake (or violate any of hundreds of contradictory commandments).
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I was fortunate that I was able to see a therapist to help guide me through the transition. I had been semi-active or inactive for a number of years before I disclosed my faith transition to others and I was completely blindsided by the fallout. I had no idea how unstable I would feel and how many complex emotions would arise.
My post Mormon friends, online and in real life, have been invaluable. The experience of leaving is fairly universal. They helped me feel like I wasn't alone, that my grief and anger were normal, that feeling like a stranger to yourself is part of the process. They truly mourned with me, sat with me in my pain, and offered unconditional love. Their support has been a lifeline.
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Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.-William Ernest Henley
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One thing I love about the church is the people. I love my Mormon extended family and members I grew up with. I loved having that community and I feared losing it. Then I found an amazing group of people in my area that were all having the same feelings. It created a fast bond and some have become family.
These last 3 years have been so hard, so painful, and so damn rewarding. I feel more me than I ever have.
Which is both awesome, and let’s be honest..sometimes sorta crappy.
But it’s me and I kinda like me.
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I wrote a book about it called The Mormon Mirage: amazon.com/Mormon-Mirage-Former-Member-Church/dp/…
In it, I share my journey out of Mormonism as I uncovered shocking inaccuracies, inconsistencies, and contradictions in the faith I had loved and lived. I've revised it thirty years later as Mormonism and Mormon scholarship have evolved with the times. The third, revised and updated edition keeps pace with changes and advances in Mormonism, and reveals formidable new challenges to its claims and teachings.
The Mormon Mirage provides fascinating, carefully documented insights into:
• DNA research’s withering implications for the Book of Mormon
• the impact of new “revelations” on Latter-day Saint (LDS) race relations
• new findings about Mormon history
• increasing publicity about LDS splinter groups, particularly polygamous ones
• recent disavowals of long-held doctrines by church leadership
• the rise of Mormon apologetics on the Internet.More than a riveting, insider’s scrutiny of the Mormon faith, the book is a testimony to the trustworthiness of Scripture and the grace of Jesus Christ.
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I wrote a book called the Keystone of Mormonism. Please find here: amazon.com/Keystone-Mormonism-Arza-Evans/dp/…
It presents excellent reasoning and scientific evidence that The Book Of Mormon is not sacred ancient American history, as claimed by Mormons, but a clever nineteenth-century fraud.
Joseph Smith, the founder of Mormonism, declared his Book of Mormon to be "…the most correct of any book on earth." However, this careful study reveals a large number of serious errors. For example, his characters had access to spring steel, window glass, machinery, and submarines centuries before these things were invented. They also had horses, chariots, elephants, silk, and linen contrary to the claims of archaeologists, anthropologists, and other scientists. Smith's Nephites and Lamanites were alone here in their "promised land" despite overwhelming scientific proof that many other civilizations have been in America for thousands of years. Also, his "prophets" quoted Old and New Testament Prophets hundreds of years before these men were born in the Old World. The Keystone of Mormonism documents these and other serious errors in Smith's book.
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Friends and certain family members (you know who you are) helped me more then they'll ever know. They helped me realize that Mormonism didn't define who I was. YouTube was an amazing source for learning how to be yourself post Mormonism. The Exmormon subreddit is for sure one of the best resources for Information or if you just need a stranger to talk to.
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I have a strong friend group that is very supportive of me and lets me use them as a sounding board when I just need to vent or work through my evolving sense of morality. I also have turned to science, philosophy, and nature to find truth, meaning, morality, and peace. The best resource I used though was "The Cosmos" by Neil deGrasse Tyson. It helped remind me of my place in history, nature, and society.
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Finding others who have had the same experience, mainly on the exmormon subreddit. I've also found people on YouTube who are a voice for exmormons and atheists that I quite enjoy. In addition, sharing with those I'm closest with has been a comforting and liberating experience so far. It's been tough to feel alone and out in no-man's land.
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cesletter.org/ reddit.com/r/exmormon/ other sources found within these. Talking though issues with others is extremely valuable. Look at mormon news objectively. See what others are saying. Get samples from all sides. Remember that your faith is your business and your business alone.
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I read quite a few books and listened to lots of podcasts. Also many many therapy sessions and long long talks with anyone who was available.
Books I found helpful:
- History of the Church
- Navigating a Mormon Faith Crisis (Thomas Wirthlin McConkie)
- Losing Your Faith, Finding Your Soul (David Anderson)
- Rough Stone Rolling (Richard Bushman)
- ExMormon's Search For Meaning (Zach Olsen)
- Bridges (David Ostler)
- Falling Upward (Richard Rohr)
- Daring Greatly (Brené Brown)
- Stages of Faith (James Fowler)
- Why Buddhism is True (Robert Wright)
- The Wisdom of Insecurity (Alan Watts)
- The Crucible of Doubt (Givens)
- God Is Not One (Stephen Prothero)
- The Righteous Mind (Jonathan Haidt)Podcasts:
- Mormon Stories (John Dehlin)
- Mormon Discussions (Bill Reel)
- A Thoughtful Faith (Gina Colvin)
- Mindfulness+ (Thomas McConkie)
- Secular Buddhism (Noah Rasheta)Online:
The Gospel Topics Essays
Mormon Primer
Facebook groups
wasmormon.org
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