Hi, I'm Alan
I value truth, morality, and liberty. I was a mormon.
I was born and raised in the church. I was taught from a young age to value truth over all other considerations. Truth was more important than feelings, authority, or friends. As I grew up I was drawn to the sciences as they are fundamentally a search for truth. I went on a mission after high school, went to BYU-Idaho and USU, and got married in the temple. I was a good mormon boy.
On my shelf
On the Mormon Spectrum
I struggled with the factual claims made by the church from a young age, Noah's Ark couldn't be literal even though the church said otherwise. Zero archeological evidence for the Book of Mormon bothered me when I was 7. But I kept on going with it just to not make waves and disrupt the family. As I got older even more things bothered me such as polygamy, polyandry, church leader's lies historically and more recently, and many other historical and social issues that the church was very much on the wrong side of. But, it wasn't until after my divorce that I finally had enough. I couldn't take how false, cruel, and bigoted the church and its members were anymore so I left.
Questions I've answered
Has your struggle improved since you left? More was mormon answers about 'Has your struggle improved since you left?'
So much! I found that my mental, social, and physical health all dramatically improved as soon as I made the decision to leave. I still have challenges, life doesn't just stop, but none of them are as catastrophic appearing or progress halting as when challenges would confront me while I was a mormon. My family is not supportive of this decision however, and we are still trying to establish and maintain healthy boundaries with this new dynamic.
What resources have helped you through the process of leaving? More was mormon answers about 'What resources have helped you through the process of leaving?'
I have a strong friend group that is very supportive of me and lets me use them as a sounding board when I just need to vent or work through my evolving sense of morality. I also have turned to science, philosophy, and nature to find truth, meaning, morality, and peace. The best resource I used though was "The Cosmos" by Neil deGrasse Tyson. It helped remind me of my place in history, nature, and society.
How have you navigated communication and relationships with believing family and friends? Any tips to keeping those people in your life? More was mormon answers about 'How have you navigated communication and relationships with believing family and friends? Any tips to keeping those people in your life?'
I am still working to establish clear boundaries with my believing family. They are quite aggressive at times with trying to proselytize me back into mormonism but I am always firm with letting them know that they are crossing my boundaries and need to respect them. I always make an effort to be supportive of their lifestyle and beliefs, I never speak ill of the church in their presence, and I also discuss aspects of their church life with them when they wish to discuss it. If I could recommend anything, it would be to set boundaries, defend them, and always treat others with respect and kindness.