Richard Was a Mormon, an Ex-Mormon Profile Spotlight

Richard had doubts, but still felt the obligation to serve a mission. Once he was there he realized the doubts needed attention and he needed to reevaluate his testimony so he returned early from his mission. He discovered the doubts had merit and they were only the tip of the iceberg! All the puzzle pieces fit together for him and his shelf was no longer overloaded.

I was raised in a family of 13. I like drawing, spending time with family, and watching movies. I like nature, science, art and I was a mormon.

I still had doubts, but I got to a point where I felt like a mission was something that I needed to do. I still wasn’t sure if Mormonism was true, but I thought my life would be easier if I thought it was.

I remember watching a video where someone who was raised talked about how if she became a Mormon she wouldn’t be the good catholic girl that her family always wanted her to be but that she had to do what she felt was right. That hit me way harder that any experience with the church ever had.

I talked to several different people and most of them just tried to reinforce that I had to gain a testimony and told me to read the scriptures and pray until I learn it’s true. I prayed and fasted all the time but the main times when I felt the spirit were when the message was a basic humanism message rather than when it was about Jesus or Mormonism.

I left the mission after 3 months and decided to get to the bottom of what was going on. I realized that I was only aware of the tip of the iceberg about Mormonism. When I accepted that I didn’t believe it, a­­ll of the puzzle pieces fit together for me.

Being out of Mormonism helped me to reevaluate beliefs that I had. I became much more liberal in my politics and less judgmental of others.

Richard

Continue reading the full wasmormon profile at https://wasmormon.org/profile/richard-allen-rawlings/