I was mentally out for three years before I resigned, and I have found amazing things since I've been out. I've found life, love, and happiness. I drink caffeine, I have a tattoo and a piercing. I don't worry so much about what others think, I don't have the herd mentality anymore. I do what I do for my benefit. It's easy to be a good person outside of the church: just be a good person because it feels good, that's all there is to it. I feel freed from the chains of the church and I am so much happier now than when I was in the church. It was a night and day difference.
It can be scary wondering what now when you deconstruct the faith you grew up in and/or had your identity tied to. For me and my family, we are happier. We live more abundantly. Outside the Church we can love each other and other humans more fully. We welcome diversity and differences. We have learned what makes us different is way more real than what makes us the same. People are broken but such is not bad. Outside the Church we have been able to be more vulnerable. More authentic. More real. And we make safe space for others to do the same. We show up. We lean in. And we try to be present each and every moment.