The LDS Philanthropies video addresses how some faithful Latter-day Saint parents can approach passing on family wealth in alignment with their values. The video highlights one couple’s reflections on instilling values in their children, emphasizing that material inheritance if given to children who do not follow LDS teachings, could risk leading them away from the church’s moral principles. In contrast, they suggest, an inheritance given to the church could ensure those funds support spiritual objectives that align with their beliefs.
The couple shares experiences with their children, discussing their fears that wealth could distract them from gospel principles or lead to secular values. They explain that they initially considered donating their assets entirely to the church if their children chose paths contrary to LDS teachings. Ultimately, they chose to set up a family foundation that enables their children to engage directly in philanthropy. By participating, the children practice giving and sacrifice, learning to value service over personal wealth. The couple’s message concludes that if their children follow church values, they may inherit family wealth; if they do not, the inheritance will revert to the church.
Overall, the video implies that aligning one’s legacy with the church’s mission takes precedence over unconditional financial support for children, thereby encouraging a generational commitment to LDS teachings over material gain. The video promotes the idea that ff your children do not remain faithful to the church, or follow your intended path in life, then they cannot be trusted with your hard-earned money. Receiving any inheritance or windfall would likely do more damage than good, and rather than tempt your children, you should donate their inheritance to the church instead.
I used to believe that life was all about destinations. I set a goal once to graduate from college. I worked hard and studied hard. When I graduated after graduation, I remember speaking with my father about how empty I felt that day. There wasn’t the great emotion, the great joy that I thought was going to come with reaching my goal. And he said, son, the joy is in the journey, and the greatest journey that I am on and will ever take is the journey I take with my family. I love to be with my family. I like every single day. I do look forward to fishing. I look forward to graduations, I look forward to baseball games, but I enjoy every single day.
We’ve made a lot of mistakes. We’ve had some bumps and bruises, but in the end, I think it’s given me a little bit of insight into how perfect our Heavenly Father’s plan really is. I don’t profess to know everything, but I do think that we’ve learned some things that may help you. If you’d like to come along, we would love to share some of those lessons that we have learned along the way.
When, when my daughter started making decisions that were not in her best interest and not the best for her. and also. You know, I was looking at that thinking, what? What have I done? What did I do? Because I, I taught her to work. I gave her responsibilities as a child. And as she was growing up in my home, and I worked very hard and my husband worked. We were we were very frugal. We tried really hard to to instill in them by showing them by example, because I felt like I’ve been taught that you teach by example.
You were broken hearted.
Yeah, I was, I was distraught. I couldn’t figure out why she would be doing things totally different than what I had raised her. And I realized then that I had shown her what to do. But I didn’t engage her in what to do and how to live her life. So we’ve tried to do things differently, and we were grateful that we have a second chance with the younger children to readjust and do things in a better way.
Well, the children, if we tell them they forget. If we show them, they understand. But when we engage them, they become.
We have engaged our children. We’ve tried to engage them by letting them experience firsthand how how it feels inside when you serve others, when you when you help lift another person that maybe can’t. They can’t ever repay you.
We’re helping somebody that can’t repay you. I think that’s that’s really good for not only them, but for your self-esteem. It makes you feel really good inside knowing. Yeah, I did something good today.
Our idea and our values that we’re trying to pass down to our children is that they can make a difference in the world and that they’re significant. Every act that they do does affect other people around them. And as long as they’re doing a positive thing and going in a positive direction, then they will be happier and the people around them will be blessed from their actions.
You know, we have an opportunity to be humanitarians every day in our life. It doesn’t take a lot of money. You don’t have to go to exotic places. And we’ve been to a lot of fun places and it is fun to go, but humanitarian work begins at home.
The definition of a humanitarian is someone who wants to lift someone else up and assist them. And we can do that every day in our homes and in our schools.
As a family, usually we like to go places to help people. When me and my family work together, we have all of us out there, and it just kind of helps to teach us what we’re supposed to do and not just watch, we actually participate.
I’ll get down and dirty if I have to. I love to get with people, and I think it’s great that my parents are giving me this experience.
I can give my kids money, I can give my kids cars, I can give my kids real estate, but I cannot give my kids a desire to be honest, a good work ethic, the ability and the desire to serve. So if you look at our Heavenly Father’s plan, he desires to give each of his children all that he has. But to qualify for those blessings, we have to become what he has become. Now, I don’t pretend to be like my Heavenly Father, but for my children, for them to inherit my estate, they will need to become what I am trying to become.
You know, it’s funny, sometimes we think that our kids learn by osmosis. We think that because they’re in the same room with us or under the same roof, that they’re going to think like we think and believe like we believe. And then our kids do something totally contrary to what we believe, and we find out that we are sadly mistaken.
You know, it’s interesting. You think about success for your children. You think about piano lessons and football and and college educations, good grades. And, you know, when it all comes down to it, I think about the success of my kids, and if I ran into somebody 30 years from today and they say to me, how are your kids doing? If my son has a temple recommend and is a worthy Melchizedek priesthood holder, I will say my son is doing fantastic. If, on the other hand, my children are wealthy beyond measure and famous, but they’re not worthy of a temple recommend, I will say my children are struggling.
We had some friends that had sold part of their business and came into quite a large sum of money quickly, and they bought, you know, some nice cars and an airplane and things, and they kind of got caught up in this image and the worldliness. Just a few short years, within two years, their world is crumbled and they’ve been divorced and it’s it’s a whole different picture.
We don’t judge other people, but I just worry that if that happened to my children, I would hate for that same thing to happen to them. Money can be a great benefit to the world, but it can also destroy eternal salvation.
At one point in our life, two of our children were making some mistakes and they were a little bit contrary to what we believe as a family. And I thought, wow, what happens if somebody receives a pile of money who’s not living gospel principles? I don’t know about you, but I’ve never heard anybody say, wow, I inherited a bunch of money, so I decided to go back to church and turn my life around. I used to worry if I died today, what would happen to my kids, and how would money or prosperity affect their choices and their ambitions and their life’s goals? And that caused me a lot of stress. In fact, at one point I was ready to sign over everything I had to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints, rather than risk having them have to make choices that would be difficult for them with a with a large sum of money.
Some friends who work with a lot of donors in the church mentioned, ‘Well, what are your goals as a family?’ And I said, my goal is to raise worthy Melchizedek priesthood holders. This kind gentleman, Ron Black, said, what if you can do both? You can teach your sons correct principles. My eyes immediately opened and I said, I’m very interested.
So we started a charitable foundation. My sons and my daughter are the board of directors. We will have a discussion about things we should donate to an ideas, and they actually choose the things that we donate to. The one aspect we’ve added recently is: sometimes it’s easy to give other people’s money away. I told my sons, Jade and Gabe, that to be real philanthropists, you must sacrifice your own money. That night they decided they would donate a portion of their money in addition to the money that was coming from the foundation. That way it gives the opportunity for them to learn correct principles, to grow and develop. And if they are worthy of their priesthood, they can then handle the inheritance and continue to do good. If they exercise their agency, contrary to my beliefs, then the option is that that entire inheritance can still go to the church.
What I want most for my family is for them to be happy. I want them to be kind to each other and to all those around them. I want them to look out for others needs and be helpful.
When I grow up, I want to be like my dad because he’s just a really great guy, and I think that the Lord has blessed him with the ability to find people who are in need. Most of the stuff that we do as humanitarians is to help other people.
It’s really not what you give, its what you do to help people.
My dad’s already put a me and my brother on that path, but I certainly hope that when I grow up, I will be successful because of the stuff that he’s teaching me now.
Everything we do, our charitable foundation, our service work is hopefully to help teach my sons how to become better human beings and to become more like their Heavenly Father, so that as they continue to progress on this journey, their ultimate goal is to return home safe to their Heavenly Father.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. This life is not a destination. This life is a journey. And that journey is the process of becoming like our Heavenly Father. To possess those traits, those values and those characteristics that make Him what He is. And I believe we have a responsibility to pass along those values and do the best we can to pass them along to our children. Because they were his children long before they were ours. I know my family is not perfect. We have a long ways to go on our journey, but I feel confident that we’re on the right path.
Parable of the rich farmer: “That which I have I can easily give you. But that which I am you must obtain for yourself… Follow my example, mastering as I have mastered, and you will become as I am, and all that I have will be yours.”
Parable of the Rich Farmer
Though no reference or citation is given, the parable referenced at the end of the video is found in a talk by Dallin H. Oaks, The Challenge to Become, October 2000. This parable is not found in the bible. The parable is Dallin H. Oaks’ own creation. The parable is of a wealthy father who knew that if he were to bestow his wealth upon a child who had not yet developed the needed wisdom and stature, the inheritance would probably be wasted. Oaks states, “This parable teaches us that we should never give up hope and loving associations with family members and friends whose fine qualities evidence their progress toward what a loving Father would have them become. Similarly, the power of the Atonement and the principle of repentance show that we should never give up on loved ones who now seem to be making many wrong choices.”
This message of never giving up on loved ones seems contradictory to the message portrayed in the video, which is to disinherit your own children who are not living within the bounds of the church. The excuse is that money given to those who are not living according to gospel principles would likely ruin themselves. The solution presented in the video is to set up a trust so that your inheritance can go to your righteous children. Your children forfeit their claim to inheritance if they are not righteous. In this case, the trust gives their inheritance to the church instead.
The video was online at the church website until word spread and it was taken down. But not below it was saved. Looking at the web archive we can see what the church said about this video before it was removed.
Let’s face it. Money can be a blessing or a stumbling block. Prosperous families often lament how wealth has negatively affected their children. Greed, selfishness, and mistrust can strain relationships in families of any economic status.
At LDS Philanthropies, we help families prepare to receive eternal blessings using the principles of philanthropy. Journey to Become is a 15-minute documentary film about one family’s challenge of passing on not only their wealth, but their values to their children. Experience the trials, heartache, and joy they discover along the way.
LDS Philanthropies website, featured video: Journey to Become, 2015
https://web.archive.org/web/20150106174857/http://www.ldsphilanthropies.org/ldsp/news-features/journey-to-become.html
More reading:
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBIZpp4nHbg
- https://vimeo.com/91878948
- https://archive.org/details/watchvpxa6nt-ydqc
- https://archive.org/details/watchvpxa6nt-ydqc
- https://web.archive.org/web/20150106174857/http://www.ldsphilanthropies.org/ldsp/news-features/journey-to-become.html
- https://reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/7p09zl/today_i_learned_that_the_church_actually_produced/
- https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/rxgian/journey_to_become_lds_philanthropies_its_better/
- https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/3jns9k/lds_philanthropies_journey_to_become_video_goes/
- https://ldsfreedomforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=39897
- https://www.exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,2477312,2477331
- https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2000/10/the-challenge-to-become?lang=eng
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philanthropies