Why are you sharing your story?

Navigating a faith crisis/transition can feel incredibly lonely for both the believing spouse and the non-believing spouse. As my wife and I navigated through my faith transition, we both felt a strong desire to reach out to those around us for guidance. This was new territory for us, and we weren't sure how to handle it together. Unfortunately we weren’t sure who we could talk to and how they would respond to the our situation. For this reason, reaching outward helped a little, but not until we decided to reach out for each other did our mixed faith dynamic improve.

I do not believe that any healthy marriage/relationship should end because of a difference in religious affiliation. Contrary to what the current president of the Mormon church (Russell Nelson) teaches, counseling with those of different beliefs can strengthen relationships of all types because it fosters empathy among all participants.

I am so grateful that my wife and I were able to work through our differences, and I hope that our story can offer hope to those who may be experiencing a faith crisis/transition too. No one should ever have to feel alone out of fear of nonacceptance.

The Mormon church has been dishonest about many things from its history to ethical behaviors by the general leadership. Families should not be broken because of a global organization's dishonest behavior.

curtishartley

To get my feelings out and make sense of the many complexities and nightmares in my brain, and live my life a little easier.

bakiraka01

The short answer to that question is that my Mormon friends and neighbors have been bearing their testimonies to me for so very many years in hopes of getting me to see the error of my ways, it's time I returned the favor.
;)

The longer answer is this.... Hopefully I've still got many years left before I die, but I am getting on in age and before I go I think it’s important that I put my story out in the public record, much like I think it’s important for Holocaust survivors to put their stories in the public record before they pass away. Given the way the Mormon church likes to rewrite history and then gaslight its members, I think it’s vital that people who witnessed first hand the teachings and actions which the church employed in the past but which it now wants to deny, should set the record straight. People who know things which the church doesn’t want its members to know should speak the truth and put that truth out on the public record.

INTEGRITY, or lack thereof, is the key. Since Mormon church leaders refuse to face the facts, act with integrity, and admit that their church is built upon a foundation of lies, then somebody else has to say it for them. I know that my Mormon friends genuinely WANT to act with integrity, and in fact they believe that they ARE acting with integrity. However, closing your eyes to unrefuted proof that the church is a scam in NOT an act of integrity. If a Mormon were to act with TRUE integrity then they would give more than just lip service to the words of the apostle Hugh B. Brown who said, "The honest investigator must be prepared to follow wherever the search for truth may lead. Truth is often found in the most unexpected places. He must, with fearless and open mind, insist that facts are more important than any cherished, mistaken beliefs, no matter how unpleasant the facts, or how delightful the beliefs."

Don’t get me wrong. Mormon culture has some GREAT things going for it, and I have tremendous heartburn about saying anything to a Mormon which might cause them to leave such a wonderful community. I’ve seen firsthand how willingly members of the Mormon community support each other. My father was a bishop. I’ve seen him come home after visiting a member family that’s struggling, and he then picks up the phone and calls the elder’s quorum president, telling him to find an elder who has the tools and the skills needed to fix a roof and then send that elder to the struggling family’s home because their roof leaks and they can’t afford to pay a company to fix it. There were times when my father asked ME to go over to some poor widow’s home and mow her lawn or shovel her snow, and not charge her for it, because she didn’t have anyone in her life who could help her out with those things. What an incredible community that is! It’s one that I would genuinely like to be part of again. But the price of membership in the Mormon community is too high, and I’m not referring to tithing when I say that. (Although I do recommend that Mormons take a moment and ponder how much money they're paying to "The Corporation of the Brethren" that has secret accounts which, thanks to a brave whistle-blower, we've recently discovered hold hundreds of billions of dollars, only a tiny TINY fraction of which is being used to help people in need.) No, when I say the price of membership is too high, I’m referring to the requirement that you have to throw away your integrity in order to be a Mormon. You have to close your eyes to clearly obvious truths and pretend like those truths don't matter.

doug

I don’t want others to feel as hurt and alone as i felt and still currently feel, i thought that removing my records would be painless, but i’ve been reminded of just how much turmoil this organization can really cause.

b-yousef

I want people to understand I left the church to save my life. The church was killing me, destroying me emotionally and mentally. Anyone who is sad for me is pointing their grief in the wrong direction. 

Religious shame controlled my life. I hid my faith transition for years but have found healing in talking about my experience. There is a lot of stigma around people who choose to leave. I’m proud I found the courage to live authentically. 

bethlundgreen

I've really been needing to talk it out. I hope any potential converts or dissatisfied converts will inquire even more thoroughly that I did. I appreciate the chance to share my experience.

serene

People need to know. When I was a member, I believed that anyone who left did so because they were offended. This couldn't be farther from the truth.

darthyagi

I'm sharing my story not because I'm still angry at the Church or because I want to tear people down. I'm sharing my story because I know there are thousands of people in my situation. People who feel hurt, unheard, or broken. I hope my story will be a small step in helping people gather up their broken pieces. I know that's what other people did for me when my shelf broke--I hope I can be there in a similar way for others.

blee34

I’m very new to ‘leaving the faith’. There’s a lot I still value from the church. I still plan on playing church volleyball every time I can no matter where I live. It’s a good community. But I also want to find a community where I can heal, where I can be safe as I choose what to keep from being LDS. And where I can be safe choosing to do things that the church disagrees with & has stated not to do by male leaders or church culture. Most of all, I’ve felt extremely alone as this has all happened rapidly & specifically to me. I don’t know anyone who’s chosen to worship a God & Goddess as creators of this world, and I don’t know anyone who’s had remotely the same ‘shelf breaks’ I have. But being here helps me see that some of the more general things we have in common.  If anything in my story has resonated with you, that’s why I shared it. I don’t want anyone else to feel alone in their difficult faith journey.

malia7