Hi, I’m Katelynn
I enjoy volleyball and anime. I am happily engaged. I was very LDS.
I grew up in the Provo area. Both my parents were LDS, but my mom was much more active than my dad. She was the spiritual powerhouse in the home, she had been a missionary for the church, and she was the breadwinner of our household as well. In short, she was awesome. I really, truly, deeply believed in the church. I felt my opinions were respected and heard at church. I served in YWs in various positions. When I graduated college (didn’t make it in to my preferred college, BYU), I moved several times across the country to be in a competitive career field. My career did not allow me to be in church most Sundays, and I had a nonmember boyfriend (now fiancé), but I still held my devout belief in the church.
On my shelf
On the Mormon Spectrum
# Why I left More stories of 'Why I left' the Mormon church
You’ve heard it, right? The sex abuse scandal covered by AP News where if only the church had contacted the police, they could have prevented the 2nd daughter of the family getting raped. That was the boom, the catalyst for the beginning of the end of my faith. Sure, as a feminist, some things bothered me in the background of the church. Sure, as an ally of the LGBT community, some things gradually bothered me about the church. But the AP news story a few months ago was the catalyst because I couldn’t believe the church wouldn’t apologize for that happening, and instead attacked AP News & accused it of exaggerating the flaws of the church’s hotline. Then I realized the Oaks talk about the church not apologizing for anything was serious. The church is run by human men; if our doctrine is to apologize for our human mistakes then as an organization conducted by human (men) it ought to be subject to the same doctrine. Then I learned about the Book of Abraham having part of its manuscript in a museum, and even on the Church website it is acknowledged that it isn’t a real translation. Yet the BoM continues to title the Book of Abraham as a translation. Then there’s the inconsistency of D&C 132 saying God blessed Solomon with multiple wives when in the Book of Mormon God called it an abomination before him. Then there’s the fact that in 1962 October General Conference Kimball claimed a family had a daughter who was visibly whiter than her ethnic parents because of the righteousness of the family, and that’s white supremacy in General Conference, which is supposed to be modern-day scripture. That’s not okay. I love the church. I am angry with the church. I can’t stand how wrong the church is. So I left & so I’m leaving.
Questions about Mormons My Answers to Questions about Mormonism
#Link to this answer of 'Did you want to sin? Is that why you left?' by malia7 Did you want to sin? Is that why you left? See more answers about 'Did you want to sin? Is that why you left?'
No. My fiancé & I have been together for 4+ years & believe it or not, we’ve never had sex (none of that soaking nonsense either)! And we aren’t going to until we get married, because even though I no longer believe in the church the way it is, I made a promise & I personally see value in that promise. Besides, the wedding isn’t that far away.
#Link to this answer of 'Were you offended? Is that why you left?' by malia7 Were you offended? Is that why you left? See more answers about 'Were you offended? Is that why you left?'
No. In fact, from bishops to friends’ parents, I’ve had the lucky privilege of knowing many incredibly kind people in the church. Rather than chastise me for marrying a nonmember, all my member friends and bishops have been kind and supportive of my relationship.
#Link to this answer of 'What do you believe now?' by malia7 What do you believe now? See more answers about 'What do you believe now?'
I believe that Joseph Smith was deeply unethical, but I also believe he stumbled upon a profound truth that we are here on this earth to experience joy. I’m grateful I always had the answer to the question of why I was here on earth. I also believe he stumbled onto an ancient truth: a Heavenly Mother. Anciently, Asherah was worshipped as a Goddess, and as God’s wife. Some of the most amazing spiritual powerhouses in my life were women, and I believe my spiritual experiences have led up to this moment where I worship & pray to a God & Goddess, and still value Jesus Christ.
#Link to this answer of 'Why are you sharing your story?' by malia7 Why are you sharing your story? See more answers about 'Why are you sharing your story?'
I’m very new to ‘leaving the faith’. There’s a lot I still value from the church. I still plan on playing church volleyball every time I can no matter where I live. It’s a good community. But I also want to find a community where I can heal, where I can be safe as I choose what to keep from being LDS. And where I can be safe choosing to do things that the church disagrees with & has stated not to do by male leaders or church culture. Most of all, I’ve felt extremely alone as this has all happened rapidly & specifically to me. I don’t know anyone who’s chosen to worship a God & Goddess as creators of this world, and I don’t know anyone who’s had remotely the same ‘shelf breaks’ I have. But being here helps me see that some of the more general things we have in common. If anything in my story has resonated with you, that’s why I shared it. I don’t want anyone else to feel alone in their difficult faith journey.
#Link to this answer of 'Are you happy?' by malia7 Are you happy? See more answers about 'Are you happy?'
I have yet to find joy in leaving the church. I’ve cried a lot. But I’ve always been a pretty happy person, and I’ve been blessed with hobbies, real friendships, an engaging career, and a loving and fun fiancé who comforts me when things get tough. Happiness can only be pursued successfully indirectly. Make good habits & find good people. We were born on this earth to be happy, after all.