Hi, I’m Stephanie
I am an avid tabletop rpg player, a historian, and enjoyer of reading. I was a mormon.
About me
I was born and raised Mormon. My entire life was centered around my faith. I attended church diligently, mission only three days in the entire time I was a member. I was active in young men’s and the boys scouts. I earned every achievement I could. I served a two year mission in Colorado, came home and got married in the temple. I did everything right and felt I was on the path to salvation.
On my shelf
On the Mormon Spectrum
# Why I left More stories of 'Why I left' the Mormon church
I was active but since I was seven years old I carried a secret with me. I wasn’t a boy. At least not internally. I didn’t know anything about transgender people, all I knew is I was not a boy. Growing up and hearing how people like me were unhappy sinners I kept it to myself. Until I met a trans woman who was truly happy. More happy than anyone I ever met. I made friends with other people who are LGBTQ+ and they helped me see that they were just being their authentic selves. I finally came out as trans and after trying to balance reality with what I learned in the church reality won and I haven’t gone back.
Questions about Mormons My Answers to Questions about Mormonism
#Link to this answer of 'Did you want to sin? Is that why you left?' by Stephanie Did you want to sin? Is that why you left? See more answers about 'Did you want to sin? Is that why you left?'
If being true to myself is a sin, then yes. I could not bear the pain of the severe gender dysphoria I dealt with, but coming out and transitioning has done more for my happiness than the church ever did.
The funny thing is I haven’t broken any other commandments as far as the church is concerned (minus tithing and Sunday church attendance). I just wanted to follow the decree made in Second Nephi, Men are that they might have joy. I didn’t feel joy before. I do now.
#Link to this answer of 'Has your struggle improved since you left?' by Stephanie Has your struggle improved since you left? See more answers about 'Has your struggle improved since you left?'
I’m at peace. The constant depression I felt trying to confirm and be perfect by Mormon standards is gone and I can actually function day to day. I’ve never thought I’d be at peace and happy in life and it’s not perfect, I still have bad days, but I don’t feel like a broken vessel anymore.