Why don't you leave the mormon church alone?

For decades after leaving the church, I DID leave it alone. Not long after walking away from the church I moved away from Utah and didn't give the church a second thought. Well... I guess I did occasionally think to myself what a shame it was that so many of my friends and relatives were being scammed out of astronomical amounts of their time and money... but I didn't SAY anything to anyone.

The thing that changed me was when I retired from my primary career and returned to Utah to spend my twilight years giving back to society by teaching high school. A large number of my students suffered real and terrible harm that was directly caused by religion. Many of my students suffered crippling depression, did self harm (cutting and the like) and/or seriously contemplated suicide because of the conflict between what they thought and what church leaders told them was OK to think. Some of them actually committed suicide, and although we can't be sure exactly what caused them to do that in most cases, one student with whom I was especially close died in a way that I know for sure was due to the pressure he felt as a gay person in a religious society that refused to accept him for who he was. Another of my students got kicked out of his home while he was still just a high school kid because his Mormon parents couldn't accept the fact that he was gay. One of my students was forced by her Mormon offshoot parents to quit school at the age of only 16 and marry some creepy old guy who already had several other wives. Some girls who saw that commented on how glad they were that they were members of the mainstream Mormon church, not that offshoot branch, because they couldn't stand the idea of sharing a husband with several sister wives. They were later horrified when they discovered something their Sunday school and seminary teachers had been hiding from them. According to mainstream Mormon doctrine which isn't openly talked about but which is very real nonetheless, polygamy will in fact be their sad fate for all eternity if they make it to the Celestial Kingdom. Some of my students got pregnant, and on top of dealing with the tremendous stress which that caused them, they also had to deal with the rejection they experienced because the church declared that they had committed a sin second only to murder, and so now the "virtuous girls" in the school no longer wanted to associate with them.

Seeing those things happen to my students... wonderful young people I have come to know well and to care deeply about... changed me forever. I cannot just sit quietly while seeing real, tangible, terrible harm done by religion. If by speaking out I can help even one person avoid the harm that religion has caused for so many of my students, then I must speak out.

I know there are many Mormons who experience nothing but good from their involvement with the church. They say "The church is doing good things for ME, and that's all that matters." Those people say, "Even if the church isn't actually true, why won't you just stay silent and let us enjoy the comfort and support that the church gives us?" Mormons are well practiced at closing their eyes to incovenient facts. In exactly the same way that so many Mormons refuse to look at the abundent evidence which shows that the church is built upon a foundation of lies, they also refuse to look at the abundent evidence which shows that the church is NOT providing comfort and support fot a great many people. It's directly harming them. Not all people, for sure, but far more than I ever imagined prior to becoming a teacher. Read through the other profiles on this wasmormon.org website and you'll find case after case after case where people wrote about the suffering they felt because of the church and the joy they finally experienced after leaving it. Yes, the church is beneficial for some people, but a truly good person wouldn't be so self centered that they ignore the harm the church is doing to others.

Let me make one thing perfectly clear before I finish this write-up... I'm absolutely NOT suggesting that people shouldn't be allowed the option of being Mormon. I would never say that. In fact, if the government were ever to outlaw Mormonism (or any other religion), I would stand side-by-side with my Mormon friends and fight FOR their right to be Mormon (or any other religion). I'm just saying that when there's a lull in the fighting and my friends and I are sitting down together catching our breaths, it's entirely reasonable that I should be allowed to ask them questions that will make them think, just like they've been asking ME questions for over sixty years now that they hope will make ME think.

Church leaders who tell members not to read or listen to anything critical of the church and not to associate with people who have left the church are basically admitting that they know the church isn't what it claims to be and can't stand up to scrutiny. That should be a huge red flag for any person with integrity.

The Mormon apostle J. Reuben Clark once said, "If we have the truth, it can not be harmed by investigation. If we have not the truth, it ought to be harmed." The apostle Hugh B. Brown said, "The honest investigator must be prepared to follow wherever the search for truth may lead. Truth is often found in the most unexpected places. He must, with fearless and open mind, insist that facts are more important than any cherished, mistaken beliefs, no matter how unpleasant the facts, or how delightful the beliefs."

If you believe those words to be true then you can see why people like me should not be asked to stay silent and leave the Mormon church alone. We're just following the advice of your very own apostles.

doug

Because Mormonism nearly got me killed. Additionally, its chokehold on the Morridor, the American people/government, and its members in general, is getting countless others killed, too. Remember the Colorado Springs Nightclub Shooting? Just over a year earlier, Jeffrey Holland gave a talk to the BYU campus known as the "musket fire" talk.

"'In a way [Church of Jesus Christ] scholars at BYU and elsewhere are a little bit like the builders of the temple in Nauvoo, who worked with a trowel in one hand and a musket in the other. Today scholars building the temple of learning must also pause on occasion to defend the kingdom. I personally think this is one of the reasons the Lord established and maintains this university. The dual role of builder and defender is unique and ongoing. I am grateful we have scholars today who can handle, as it were, both trowels and muskets.'

To this, Elder Oaks then challengingly responded, “I would like to hear a little more musket fire from this temple of learning.”13 He said this in a way that could have applied to a host of topics in various departments, but the one he specifically mentioned was the doctrine of the family and defending marriage as the union of a man and a woman."

He prattles on a bit about how sad he is about the violence enacted against "allies", and then goes on to say the following:

"My Brethren have made the case for the metaphor of musket fire, which I have endorsed yet again today."

I don't care how much you say you don't like violence. When you use metaphors of violence to describe how you would like a violently oppressed demographic to be treated, you encourage if not outright endorse violence.

The shooter was raised in the church by a devout Mormon family.

I will not stop sharing my experiences and supporting ex-mormons who tell the truth until the day that we are all free from the oppression and violence directly caused by this cult. I will never forgive the people that have caused unimaginable suffering and countless deaths and have consistently refused to take responsibility, admit fault, and offer any kind of recompense. I will never forgive the organization that motivated my family to shun and mistreat me when all I wanted was to be loved and accepted for all of who and what I am.
I do not believe in hell, nor outer darkness, nor punitive "justice", nor suffering as retribution. But I will not let this go until ALL of us are free from cult indoctrination and undue influence.
I do not care if you want to believe in the gospel of Mormonism or not. That's not my place to decide. However, the very moment that you start trying to convert others, especially those that are vulnerable (which, by the way, are often the victim of choice for indoctrination), you are my enemy and an enemy of freedom and autonomy. I will not stand by and allow this to continue.
I may only be one person, but I will not stop talking about it because all of this needs to be said.

byrd

Because it's something harmful, I won’t just sit back and ignore it. I spent years in it, and now I’m speaking up. If they can push their beliefs on everyone, I sure as hell can share my truth. If the church didn’t want us speaking out, they shouldn’t have taught us to be persistent missionaries.

proudxmo

The authoritarian leaders inside of Mormonism are the ones most frequently asking this question. It is in their interest to tamp down any and all criticism or exposure of origins of and the real beliefs propagated within LDS/Mormonism. Their demands that we "leave the church alone" is like a bank robber telling the witnesses to be quiet, and not complain about or expose the heist. Of course having such an expectation is absurd in a world where one human being should be concerned with the well-being of any another human being and where all should want truth and justice to be the norm.

deserveliberty

It didn't leave me alone. And it still won't leave me alone. So why should I leave IT alone?

bakiraka01

They stole 24 years from me. They manipulated, abused, and trafficked me. They send other survivors of trafficking to my door to convince me I've made the wrong decision. I don't go to their homes to preach ex-mormon doctrine. I don't go to their meetinghouses to talk about my opinions. I share them online, and Mormons can choose to ignore it. I'm leaving them a hell of a lot more alone than they've left me.

elementalepistles

Because there are people I love still in it. I watch them spend their free time and money on what I consider a greedy corporation, pursuing ordinances that I'm convinced are meaningless and I want to free them from the shackles they don't even know they have on.

bwilliams8492

I was asked this question by someone recently. They were divorced. I reminded them that they still brought up hurts and wrongs committed by their former spouse. Scripture and church leaders compare church covenants to a marriage contract where each side promises to be faithful.

The Mormon Church is not truthful. This deception should not be tolerated by disaffected members anymore than it is tolerated with an unfaithful spouse.

As long as the Church continues to cause harm because of its actions, and since they claim to be "the only true church" with "authority of the true priesthood restored to man" they are opening themselves up to comparisons. For instance, I was a Methodist for the first 20 years of my life. I frequently compared Mormonism to Methodism. In fact, Mormons did that all the time when I was a new member. They couldn't leave Methodism alone. They couldn't leave Catholicism alone either. It was common to hear the Catholics slammed in meetings as being everything but good.

If the Mormon Church wants to be left alone, they would have no converts. So they send missionaries out to the world to bother and interrupt people's lives uninvited. It's a 24/7/365 activity. Why doesn't the Mormon Church and its members stop acting like the victim because people who leave tell the truth about the church?

If you're going to make grand proclamations about how to live your life, and which church is going to bring your more happiness and eventual eternal life, then you have no business asking anyone to leave you alone.

Besides, how funny is it that millions of dollars were spent pushing "I am a Mormon" adds, website, and ads everywhere one year, and then a year or three later, Mormons want us to pretend we didn't see their well-placed, and expensive ads? Not in a million years. Me and my sixth grade friends used to say, "Don't dish it out if you can't take it." Weren't we wise??
I gave a presentation at the 2008 Exmormon Conference which can now be found on Youtube titled "Lying for the Lord": youtube.com/…

I also wrote Lying for the Lord which can be found at mormonthink.com/… as well as a pdf version mormonthink.com/files/…

kenclark

People like my kids don't know what they're agreeing to when they join the church. It's wrong to have someone agree to follow certain rules for their whole life when they don't know what it really means to pay tithing, wear garments, take time to go to the temple, clean the church, etc. for their entire life. My kids deserve to know.

darthyagi