Why don't you leave the mormon church alone?

It didn't leave me alone. And it still won't leave me alone. So why should I leave IT alone?

bakiraka01

The question of why not just leave the Mormon church alone is one I've wrestled with for many years and one I continue to wrestle with even as I write this. I know full well that many people find comfort in religion, and I understand when they say, "Even if the church isn't actually true, why won't you just stay silent and let us enjoy the comfort and support that the church gives us?" I get that. I really do.

But consider the young girls in the FLDS church (Warren Jeffs' followers), the LDCC (the Kingston Clan). the AUB (the Allred Group), or one of the many other Mormon offshoots who still carry on the practice of polygamy that Joseph Smith started. Those girls have been taught from birth that it's God's will that... while they are still just CHILDREN in many cases... they must marry some creepy old guy who already has lots of wives. Those girls and their families are [allegedly] forced to live in an information bubble where they are "protected" from exposure to any ideas that might cause them to doubt what they've been taught. It can be argued that those girls find comfort and support in their religion. Since they do, does that mean we should leave that church alone and just let those young girls suffer?

I'm not saying that the correct course of action is to outlaw those churches, but I think is it entirely appropriate to share information with people in those churches that might lead them to question whether it's right for young girls to be coerced into becoming yet another child bride of some older man who already has lots of other wives. They can choose to either accept or reject what they hear, but shouldn't they be given the chance to hear it? Doesn't common decency demand that they be given that chance?

Now look at the Mormon church through that same lens. I know it's considered very impolite to use the word "brainwash" when talking about the way Mormon children are raised, but let's be honest... If you look at techniques that the world acknowledges to be "brainwashing tactics" and compare them with the techniques that the Mormon church uses on its children and even its adults, you'll find a one-to-one correspondence. The information bubble that Mormon children grow up in and which Mormon adults have been conditioned to keep living in... the one which restricts their access to ideas which might "damage their testimony"... is disturbingly similar to the bubble that people in the polygamy cults live in. The essay "Lying For The Lord", which you can read by clicking on this link...
mormonthink.com/files/…
... clearly shows the lengths that "the bretheren" will go to in order to hide truths from Mormons in general and Mormon youths in particular.

Despite the church's propoganda to the contrary, a great many Mormons are suffering harm that's not unlike what people in the polygamy cults experience. Studies have shown that Mormons have a substantially higher rate of depression than the general population and it's not hard to see why. Although today's Mormon girls are not coerced into becoming one of some man's many wives like they were in the early days of the church and like girls in the Mormon-offshoot polygamy cults still are today, they ARE taught that that'll be the fate of many of them in the next life. If women don't like that "fact", too bad, because Mormon doctrine says it's God's will that men rule the Mormon universe while women only play a supporting role, working together with their sister wives who will all share the same celestial husband. Also, consider people who don't feel the spirit when they pray or when they stand in the temple performing rituals that they think are suspiciously cult-like. They are told it's THEIR FAULT they aren't feeling the spirit, and sadly, many believe that. They search their souls looking for what they're doing wrong, when the fault actually lies in the church, not in them. And of course there are the LGBT people who are taught that they're sinners for loving the people they love. The only way they can enter the highest level of the Celestial Kingdom is to conform to the Mormon norm. All of these things are understandably horribly depressing to the people affected.

The information bubble that Mormons live in prevents unhappy members from accessing information which shows that the pain they're experincing is actually due to lies that Joseph Smith told two hundred years ago and that current church leaders keep repeating. Read through the other stories on this wasmormon.org website, or listen to the podcasts on the mormonstories.com website, or watch the many YouTube videos made by people who have left the Mormon church. What you'll find is case after case after case where people finally feel the joy that they thought they'd never experience.... after leaving the Mormon church.

Even if you look at the lucky Mormons who are genuinely happy with their experiences in the church (and I'll freely admit there are lots of members like this), think about how much time and money they give to the church over the course of their lives. The amount of time donated can be astronomical but that's hard to quantify, so let's just consider the money. For most Mormons, the total amount of money donated to the church over the course of their lifetimes comes to hundreds of thousands of dollars. For many it's in the millions. Imagine the good that money could have done for their family or for others they love if they hadn't given it to "The Corporation of the Brethren" who already have hundreds of BILLIONS of dollars stashed away in secret shell companies and hidden bank accounts that are not being used to help the needy in the way that members were led to believe.

If you see a person at the post office preparing to send huge sums of money to a Nigerian prince, do you not have an obligation to warn them that they're being scammed? Maybe they'll ignore your input. Maybe they'll tell you that the Nigerian prince makes them happy and so they don't mind giving him money. Fine. You don't force them to stop sending him money. But as a matter of human decency, you're obligated to let that person know about the countless news articles you've seen where the Nigerian prince always turned out to be a con man. It's the same with Mormonism. There's overwhelming evidence showing that Joseph Smith was the original Nigerian prince and that the brethren leading the church today are no better. It would be morally wrong to stay silent about all that evidence when you see people you love losing huge amounts of time and money to a scam like that.

I would never consider outlawing the Mormon church, but I think it is entirely appropriate to share information with Mormons that has been withheld from them by their church, just as it's appropriate to do for members of the Mormon-offshoot polygamy cults. Mormons can choose to either accept or reject what they hear, but shouldn't they be given the chance to hear it? Doesn't common decency demand that they be given that chance?

------- A few more thoughts, since this question weighs heavily on me -------

Let me repeat... I'm absolutely NOT suggesting that people shouldn't be allowed the option of being Mormon. I'd never say that. In fact, if the government were ever to outlaw Mormonism (or any other religion), I would stand side-by-side with my Mormon friends and fight FOR their right to be Mormon (or any other religion). I'm just saying that when there's a lull in the fighting and my friends and I are sitting down together catching our breaths, it's entirely reasonable that I should be allowed to ask them questions that will make them think, just like they've been asking ME questions for over sixty years now that they hope will make ME think.

The Mormon apostle J. Reuben Clark once said, "If we have the truth, it can not be harmed by investigation. If we have not the truth, it ought to be harmed." If you believe those words to be true, then you should have no problem with people sharing information that Mormon Sunday school and seminary teachers conveniently neglected to include in their lessons. If someone is upset that I'm talking about things which Mormons don't like talking about, then I take that as an admission by that person that they (maybe only subconsciously) already realize that Mormonism is not true. They just don't want to admit it. Is that what a person with integrity would do?

Anyone who thinks religion does more good than harm hasn’t studied history. I've heard people say, “OK, I'll admit that the Inquisition was bad, but that just a one-off event.” NOT IT WASN'T! The Inquisition is just one tiny example of the many MANY times religion was used to commit horrible, inexcusable atrocities. Mass murder and mass stealing of people’s property was widespread and religion was the way the perpetrators justified their atrocities and motivated their followers to commit those atrocities. Slavery was a common practice that was justified by the use of religion and the bonds of slavery were strengthened by forced religious indoctrination. There’s a very good reason why Europeans sent priests alongside their warriors during the inappropriately named “Age of Exploration”. (It should have been named the “Age of Genocide”.) No, I’m not at all convinced that the good done by religion even comes CLOSE to outweighing the harm which religion has caused throughout human history.

I've heard people say, “But churches don’t do that any more”. My reply to that is to ask them to please read up on current events. The crimes being currently committed in the name of religion might not be as blatant and far-reaching now as they were in the past, but they’re every bit as real. Consider the women in Islamic-run countries (and also in Hildale Utah and other polygamist enclaves) who are essentially just property of men. The men who treat women as if they're just property are allowed to do that because their actions are done in the name of religion and "we’re not allowed to criticize a person’s religion". Consider the women here in America who are forced to give birth to their rapist’s baby or they are denied critical medical care when their baby miscarries, because doctors fear they’ll go to jail if they take any action which the religious zealots in the government have outlawed. Consider the people who don’t fit the “binary gender model”, and as a result are denied the same rights that other people enjoy, again because the religious zealots make the laws, not the people who rely on reason. The Mormon church is especially guilty in this regard. If you're not familiar with the Mormon church's role in California's Prop 8 fiasco, Google that. Also, keep in mind the distressingly large number of LGBT people who have been disowned by their Mormon families, with some even being kicked out of their homes while they were still in high school. Depression and suicide rates among LGBT people in Mormon communities are staggering, and anyone who says that problem isn't made worse by the Mormon church is fooling themselves. No, I’m not at all convinced that “churches don’t do that any more”.

I hear people say, "False hope is better than no hope". My reply to that is to ask, "Is it really?" A meme I see frequently on the internet and with which I enthusiastically agree says, "The greatest threat this world faces is the widespread belief that someone else is going to solve our problems for us." This is true in both our personal lives and our global civilization. We need to wake up and recognize that some extra-terrestrial being is NOT going to solve our problems for us. Paying tithing instead of using that badly needed money to save up for a down payment on a home or some similar critical need is NOT going to bring you prosperity. The second coming of Christ is NOT going to save the world from our failure to stop global warming, pollution, and overpopulation.

I'll end by repeating the quote I gave above from the Mormon Apostle, Hugh B. Brown. "The honest investigator must be prepared to follow wherever the search for truth may lead. Truth is often found in the most unexpected places. He must, with fearless and open mind, insist that facts are more important than any cherished, mistaken beliefs, no matter how unpleasant the facts, or how delightful the beliefs." If you believe those words to be true then you can see why people like me should not be asked to stay silent and leave the Mormon church alone. We're just following the advice of your very own apostle, Hugh B. Brown.

doug

They stole 24 years from me. They manipulated, abused, and trafficked me. They send other survivors of trafficking to my door to convince me I've made the wrong decision. I don't go to their homes to preach ex-mormon doctrine. I don't go to their meetinghouses to talk about my opinions. I share them online, and Mormons can choose to ignore it. I'm leaving them a hell of a lot more alone than they've left me.

elementalepistles

The authoritarian leaders inside of Mormonism are the ones most frequently asking this question. It is in their interest to tamp down any and all criticism or exposure of origins of and the real beliefs propagated within LDS/Mormonism. Their demands that we "leave the church alone" is like a bank robber telling the witnesses to be quiet, and not complain about or expose the heist. Of course having such an expectation is absurd in a world where one human being should be concerned with the well-being of any another human being and where all should want truth and justice to be the norm.

deserveliberty

Because there are people I love still in it. I watch them spend their free time and money on what I consider a greedy corporation, pursuing ordinances that I'm convinced are meaningless and I want to free them from the shackles they don't even know they have on.

bwilliams8492

I was asked this question by someone recently. They were divorced. I reminded them that they still brought up hurts and wrongs committed by their former spouse. Scripture and church leaders compare church covenants to a marriage contract where each side promises to be faithful.

The Mormon Church is not truthful. This deception should not be tolerated by disaffected members anymore than it is tolerated with an unfaithful spouse.

As long as the Church continues to cause harm because of its actions, and since they claim to be "the only true church" with "authority of the true priesthood restored to man" they are opening themselves up to comparisons. For instance, I was a Methodist for the first 20 years of my life. I frequently compared Mormonism to Methodism. In fact, Mormons did that all the time when I was a new member. They couldn't leave Methodism alone. They couldn't leave Catholicism alone either. It was common to hear the Catholics slammed in meetings as being everything but good.

If the Mormon Church wants to be left alone, they would have no converts. So they send missionaries out to the world to bother and interrupt people's lives uninvited. It's a 24/7/365 activity. Why doesn't the Mormon Church and its members stop acting like the victim because people who leave tell the truth about the church?

If you're going to make grand proclamations about how to live your life, and which church is going to bring your more happiness and eventual eternal life, then you have no business asking anyone to leave you alone.

Besides, how funny is it that millions of dollars were spent pushing "I am a Mormon" adds, website, and ads everywhere one year, and then a year or three later, Mormons want us to pretend we didn't see their well-placed, and expensive ads? Not in a million years. Me and my sixth grade friends used to say, "Don't dish it out if you can't take it." Weren't we wise??
I gave a presentation at the 2008 Exmormon Conference which can now be found on Youtube titled "Lying for the Lord": youtube.com/…

I also wrote Lying for the Lord which can be found at mormonthink.com/… as well as a pdf version mormonthink.com/files/…

kenclark

People like my kids don't know what they're agreeing to when they join the church. It's wrong to have someone agree to follow certain rules for their whole life when they don't know what it really means to pay tithing, wear garments, take time to go to the temple, clean the church, etc. for their entire life. My kids deserve to know.

darthyagi