I came back to myself

For all of my 29 years in the church, I never felt I could speak freely. Early on, I learned what happens to those who don’t blend in.

The more I blended, the more I lost myself. I mistook “losing yourself in the work,” for losing my identity. Or maybe that’s what was wanted all along.

The longer I stayed, the easier it became to rationalize away my individuality.

Once I found my voice again, I couldn’t wait to use it. Within five months I was threatened with two excommunications for apostasy and then resigned in November 2015.

Two months later I came out as queer.

Yes, I had buried a lot.