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I was getting tired of white knuckling it and every interaction with the church became more painful. I made sure to pray earnestly, and ask God one more time if I should stay or go. The answer I got was a resounding confirmation of what I already knew - the LDS church was an organization full of generally good people trying to do their best, but it wasn’t built on what it professed to be - the truth. So finally, I decided to be honest with myself and my family. And, I was surprised at how quickly relief came when I was. My life is far from perfect, but I can honestly say after stepping away from the LDS church that I’m happier and a better person for going through the journey. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
I was getting tired of white knuckling it and every interaction with the church became more painful. I made sure to pray earnestly, and ask God one more time if I should stay or go. The answer I got was a resounding confirmation of what I already knew - the LDS church was an organization full of generally good people trying to do their best, but it wasn’t built on what it professed to be - the truth. So finally, I decided to be honest with myself and my family. And, I was surprised at how quickly relief came when I was. My life is far from perfect, but I can honestly say after stepping away from the LDS church that I’m happier and a better person for going through the journey. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
My spouse was following a very public pressure campaign to get the church to eliminate sexist teachings and policies. It had always really bothered me that, in the endowment, men were allowed to covenant directly with God and women would turn and covenant to their husbands (and not with God). Then, I was sitting in an endowment session and discovered that church leaders had quietly changed the part of the endowment that had always bothered me. All of the sudden, women could now covenant directly with God instead of to their husband. I was always taught the covenants were eternal truths given directly by God to Joseph Smith. Witnessing first-hand the church leaders quietly change a covenant in what was obviously a response to external pressure finally gave my brain permission to think, “maybe they’re just making this all up as they go.” - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
My spouse was following a very public pressure campaign to get the church to eliminate sexist teachings and policies. It had always really bothered me that, in the endowment, men were allowed to covenant directly with God and women would turn and covenant to their husbands (and not with God). Then, I was sitting in an endowment session and discovered that church leaders had quietly changed the part of the endowment that had always bothered me. All of the sudden, women could now covenant directly with God instead of to their husband. I was always taught the covenants were eternal truths given directly by God to Joseph Smith. Witnessing first-hand the church leaders quietly change a covenant in what was obviously a response to external pressure finally gave my brain permission to think, “maybe they’re just making this all up as they go.” - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
While reading the gospel topics essay on the BoM translation, I had a flashback to watching the Mormons South Park episode as a teenager. I remember laughing about the silly things they got "wrong," like when Joseph Smith looked at a rock in a top hat to translate the Book of Mormon. Reading the article, I was suddenly slapped with the realization that a stupid TV show had given a more accurate portrayal of my church's founding history than the leaders I'd trusted for 32 years. The LDS church apologist’s website answers just felt like insane mental gymnastics and only made it worse. So once again, I put it all away and told myself that the church had given me a good life and that I would just have to focus on what was working and ignore the rest. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
While reading the gospel topics essay on the BoM translation, I had a flashback to watching the Mormons South Park episode as a teenager. I remember laughing about the silly things they got "wrong," like when Joseph Smith looked at a rock in a top hat to translate the Book of Mormon. Reading the article, I was suddenly slapped with the realization that a stupid TV show had given a more accurate portrayal of my church's founding history than the leaders I'd trusted for 32 years. The LDS church apologist’s website answers just felt like insane mental gymnastics and only made it worse. So once again, I put it all away and told myself that the church had given me a good life and that I would just have to focus on what was working and ignore the rest. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
There was a lot more but, suffice it to say, I began experiencing a growing cognitive dissonance. So, I put it away and decided to just focus on what was good about having the church in my life. That didn't work for long though, because the gnawing, unshakeable feeling that my religion wasn’t what I thought it was only continued to grow. And, since my religion expected me to give everything to it, even my own life, if necessary, I decided I damn-well better figure it out. I found the gospel topics essays on the church’s library app and started reading the articles about race, the first vision, polygamy, the Book of Abraham, etc and that sent me into a tailspin. There were so many things in those articles and footnotes that I had been told my whole life were “anti-Mormon lies” and it turns out they were just factual history now confirmed by the church. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
There was a lot more but, suffice it to say, I began experiencing a growing cognitive dissonance. So, I put it away and decided to just focus on what was good about having the church in my life. That didn't work for long though, because the gnawing, unshakeable feeling that my religion wasn’t what I thought it was only continued to grow. And, since my religion expected me to give everything to it, even my own life, if necessary, I decided I damn-well better figure it out. I found the gospel topics essays on the church’s library app and started reading the articles about race, the first vision, polygamy, the Book of Abraham, etc and that sent me into a tailspin. There were so many things in those articles and footnotes that I had been told my whole life were “anti-Mormon lies” and it turns out they were just factual history now confirmed by the church. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
Fast forward a few years. I was busy with work, marriage, small kids and callings and my shelf items had only grown. I had come to dread attending the temple, especially the endowment. I didn't understand what the rituals had to do with Jesus and the atonement and didn’t feel I was getting revelation when I attended, despite my earnest attempts to do so. I had also started independently reading and studying a lot about 19th-century American history and world history generally, and it led to more and more things bothering me about the Book of Mormon. There were so many obvious anachronisms, 19th-century ideas, and disproven racist teachings. The race issues were especially vexing to me. While many Christians had believed the racist dark skin curse nonsense, It was only MY religion's perfect and undiluted scriptures that had canonized it. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
Fast forward a few years. I was busy with work, marriage, small kids and callings and my shelf items had only grown. I had come to dread attending the temple, especially the endowment. I didn't understand what the rituals had to do with Jesus and the atonement and didn’t feel I was getting revelation when I attended, despite my earnest attempts to do so. I had also started independently reading and studying a lot about 19th-century American history and world history generally, and it led to more and more things bothering me about the Book of Mormon. There were so many obvious anachronisms, 19th-century ideas, and disproven racist teachings. The race issues were especially vexing to me. While many Christians had believed the racist dark skin curse nonsense, It was only MY religion's perfect and undiluted scriptures that had canonized it. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
On my mission I first felt a ping of shame about belonging to the Church. We'd pressured a young black man into getting baptized quickly, only to have him approach us a few days later and ask about the priesthood ban. He said his family told him some crazy stuff about how our church used to treat black people. I still remember how awful it felt to have to tell him that it was true and try to dance around it and gloss over it. He walked away and I never saw or heard from him again. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
On my mission I first felt a ping of shame about belonging to the Church. We'd pressured a young black man into getting baptized quickly, only to have him approach us a few days later and ask about the priesthood ban. He said his family told him some crazy stuff about how our church used to treat black people. I still remember how awful it felt to have to tell him that it was true and try to dance around it and gloss over it. He walked away and I never saw or heard from him again. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
I loved the Bible. The Book of Mormon, on the other hand, had some nice verses that I would quote, but reading it felt incredibly tedious. It sounded nothing like the writing in the Old Testament during the same period. The BoM prophets spoke like 19th-century American Protestant preachers. They gave almost zero attention to the mosaic law and focused instead on post-Calvinist ideas like grace and works and the evils of infant baptism—even referring to Jesus by name — hundreds of years before anyone would care about these topics. The biggest question for me at the time, though, was why it didn’t mention so many important gospel concepts: temple ordinances, eternal families, the three degrees of glory, the Melchizedek priesthood, polygamy, and all the things we were teaching people about. They were scarcely anywhere to be found in the “most correct of any book on earth” — but I just shelved my concerns. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
I loved the Bible. The Book of Mormon, on the other hand, had some nice verses that I would quote, but reading it felt incredibly tedious. It sounded nothing like the writing in the Old Testament during the same period. The BoM prophets spoke like 19th-century American Protestant preachers. They gave almost zero attention to the mosaic law and focused instead on post-Calvinist ideas like grace and works and the evils of infant baptism—even referring to Jesus by name — hundreds of years before anyone would care about these topics. The biggest question for me at the time, though, was why it didn’t mention so many important gospel concepts: temple ordinances, eternal families, the three degrees of glory, the Melchizedek priesthood, polygamy, and all the things we were teaching people about. They were scarcely anywhere to be found in the “most correct of any book on earth” — but I just shelved my concerns. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
I somehow miraculously escaped the worst of my legal troubles. I believed God had personally intervened in my life and, as a show of gratitude, I committed myself to him the best I could for two years. I genuinely believed what I was selling would help everyone. After I came home, I met my spouse and best friend after a few years, got married, and we both finished up our degrees before we started having kids. All was going well externally, but, under the surface, my faith problems were growing. While, overall, my mission was a great experience, there were some things I learned and experienced about my faith that started to bother me. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
I somehow miraculously escaped the worst of my legal troubles. I believed God had personally intervened in my life and, as a show of gratitude, I committed myself to him the best I could for two years. I genuinely believed what I was selling would help everyone. After I came home, I met my spouse and best friend after a few years, got married, and we both finished up our degrees before we started having kids. All was going well externally, but, under the surface, my faith problems were growing. While, overall, my mission was a great experience, there were some things I learned and experienced about my faith that started to bother me. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
There were definitely lots of times where I didn’t want to do what the church expected of me as a kid, but I usually bucked up and did it because I knew it was the right thing to do. I wasn’t very excited to go on a mission but knew it was what God and my family expected of me. I was trying to dutifully read the Book of Mormon and really pray to get an answer about whether or not it was true, but I wasn't getting any spiritual confirmations of note. About 6 weeks before I was scheduled to enter the MTC, my mischievous youth caught up with me and I found myself in trouble with the law. I prayed and fasted harder than I ever had in my life. I promised God that if he got me out of this pickle, I would consecrate my life to him. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
There were definitely lots of times where I didn’t want to do what the church expected of me as a kid, but I usually bucked up and did it because I knew it was the right thing to do. I wasn’t very excited to go on a mission but knew it was what God and my family expected of me. I was trying to dutifully read the Book of Mormon and really pray to get an answer about whether or not it was true, but I wasn't getting any spiritual confirmations of note. About 6 weeks before I was scheduled to enter the MTC, my mischievous youth caught up with me and I found myself in trouble with the law. I prayed and fasted harder than I ever had in my life. I promised God that if he got me out of this pickle, I would consecrate my life to him. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
I was born into an LDS family and born and raised in Texas. I love good music, good food, skiing, and spending time with my spouse and crazy kids. My whole life I believed the church was true because I didn’t have any good reason not to. I was raised in a good home with loving parents and a really strong extended family on both sides. I was a Mormon. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
I was born into an LDS family and born and raised in Texas. I love good music, good food, skiing, and spending time with my spouse and crazy kids. My whole life I believed the church was true because I didn’t have any good reason not to. I was raised in a good home with loving parents and a really strong extended family on both sides. I was a Mormon. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
“When people say, well, what do you do with all that money? Well, there's an episode in the Old Testament about Joseph, who interpreted a dream for the Pharaoh that there were seven years of plenty and seven years of famine. And in the years of plenty, you better prepare for the years of famine. So people want to speculate about the size of the reserve and all that kind of stuff... I think it would be imprudent and unwise not to have a reserve.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner Silicon Slopes Summit, September 28, 2023 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video, February 27, 2025 | wasmormon.org
“When people say, well, what do you do with all that money? Well, there's an episode in the Old Testament about Joseph, who interpreted a dream for the Pharaoh that there were seven years of plenty and seven years of famine. And in the years of plenty, you better prepare for the years of famine. So people want to speculate about the size of the reserve and all that kind of stuff... I think it would be imprudent and unwise not to have a reserve.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner, Silicon Slopes Summit,September 28, 2023, 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video, February 27, 2025
"Only a tiny fraction of the money is actually spent on charity. This Welfare Services Fact Sheet lists the Mormon church’s humanitarian efforts in 2011 which, on closer inspection, are not the institutional church’s achievements at all but mainly free labour provided by church members to church businesses." - Mormonism 101, Independent information about the Church based on verifiable sources and 34 years of active and committed church membership: The Corporate Structure of the Mormon church | wasmormon.org
"Only a tiny fraction of the money is actually spent on charity. This Welfare Services Fact Sheet lists the Mormon church’s humanitarian efforts in 2011 which, on closer inspection, are not the institutional church’s achievements at all but mainly free labour provided by church members to church businesses." - Mormonism 101, Independent information about the Church based on verifiable sources and 34 years of active and committed church membership: The Corporate Structure of the Mormon church
“They're not passing a plate, or collecting money in local congregations. That's all done through the tithes that the members of the church pay all over the world. But you've got fixed costs in the maintenance, the utilities, all of those things for all of those buildings... You don't have to be an accountant to figure out those are some big dollars.” - “[To] the people who want to tell us how to spend the money, I would just emphasize one undergirding principle. The assets of the church are primarily income consuming; they are not income producing.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner Silicon Slopes Summit, September 28, 2023, 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video, February 27, 2025 | wasmormon.org
“They're not passing a plate, or collecting money in local congregations. That's all done through the tithes that the members of the church pay all over the world. But you've got fixed costs in the maintenance, the utilities, all of those things for all of those buildings... You don't have to be an accountant to figure out those are some big dollars.” - “[To] the people who want to tell us how to spend the money, I would just emphasize one undergirding principle. The assets of the church are primarily income consuming; they are not income producing.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner Silicon Slopes Summit, September 28, 2023, 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video, February 27, 2025
What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money? [Regarding the leaked Ensign Peak Advisors managed reserves of surplus tithing amounting to hundreds of billions of dollars] You're getting a lot of heat for people telling you how to spend the money of the church. How do you think about that or how can others really understand the scale of this? “I think it would be imprudent and unwise not to have a reserve.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner, Silicon Slopes Summit, September 28, 2023, 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video, February 27, 2025 | wasmormon.org
What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money? [Regarding the leaked Ensign Peak Advisors managed reserves of surplus tithing amounting to hundreds of billions of dollars] You're getting a lot of heat for people telling you how to spend the money of the church. How do you think about that or how can others really understand the scale of this? “I think it would be imprudent and unwise not to have a reserve.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner, Silicon Slopes Summit, September 28, 2023, 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video, February 27, 2025
“[To] the people who want to tell us how to spend the money, I would just emphasize one undergirding principle. The assets of the church are primarily income consuming; they are not income producing.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner Silicon Slopes Summit, September 28, 2023 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video | wasmormon.org
“[To] the people who want to tell us how to spend the money, I would just emphasize one undergirding principle. The assets of the church are primarily income consuming; they are not income producing.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner Silicon Slopes Summit, September 28, 2023 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video
“We will follow them till the last drop of their blood is spilled, or else they will have to exterminate us: for we will carry the seat of war to their own houses, and their own families, and one party or the other shall be utterly destroyed.” - Sidney Rigdon, July 4 1838, Far West Missouri - Precedes the Mormon Extermination Order, or Executive Order 44 Missouri Governor Lilburn Boggs on October 27, 1838 | wasmormon.org
“We will follow them till the last drop of their blood is spilled, or else they will have to exterminate us: for we will carry the seat of war to their own houses, and their own families, and one party or the other shall be utterly destroyed.” - Sidney Rigdon, July 4 1838, Far West Missouri - Precedes the Mormon Extermination Order, or Executive Order 44 Missouri Governor Lilburn Boggs on October 27, 1838
“Our rights shall no more be trampled on with impunity. The man or the set of men, who attempts it, does it at the expense of their lives. And that mob that comes on us to disturb us; it shall be between us and them a war of extermination.” - Sidney Rigdon, July 4 1838, Far West Missouri - Precedes the Mormon Extermination Order, or Executive Order 44 Missouri Governor Lilburn Boggs on October 27, 1838 | wasmormon.org
“Our rights shall no more be trampled on with impunity. The man or the set of men, who attempts it, does it at the expense of their lives. And that mob that comes on us to disturb us; it shall be between us and them a war of extermination.” - Sidney Rigdon, July 4 1838, Far West Missouri - Precedes the Mormon Extermination Order, or Executive Order 44 Missouri Governor Lilburn Boggs on October 27, 1838
“I have received by one of my aids, information of the most appalling character, which entirely changes the face of things, and places the Mormons in the attitude of an open and avowed defiance of the laws, and of having made war upon the people of this state. Your orders are, therefore, to hasten your operation with all possible speed. The Mormons must be treated as enemies, and must be exterminated or driven from the state if necessary for the public peace—their outrages are beyond all description.” - Missouri Executive Order 44 or "Mormon Extermination Order" Governor Lilburn Boggs, October 27, 1838 | wasmormon.org
“I have received by one of my aids, information of the most appalling character, which entirely changes the face of things, and places the Mormons in the attitude of an open and avowed defiance of the laws, and of having made war upon the people of this state. Your orders are, therefore, to hasten your operation with all possible speed. The Mormons must be treated as enemies, and must be exterminated or driven from the state if necessary for the public peace—their outrages are beyond all description.” - Missouri Executive Order 44 or "Mormon Extermination Order" Governor Lilburn Boggs, October 27, 1838
Leaving a faith tradition like Mormonism, which influences nearly every aspect of life, can be both liberating and disorienting. If you're navigating this path, know that you are not alone. Many of us have documented the journey, explored the history, and formed supportive communities along the way. Find connection and understanding in a community that recognizes the emotional and social challenges of transitioning away from the LDS Church. Find the support you need and explore hundreds of faith transition stories at wasmormon.org.
Leaving a faith tradition like Mormonism, which influences nearly every aspect of life, can be both liberating and disorienting. If you're navigating this path, know that you are not alone. Many of us have documented the journey, explored the history, and formed supportive communities along the way. Find connection and understanding in a community that recognizes the emotional and social challenges of transitioning away from the LDS Church. Find the support you need and explore hundreds of faith transition stories at wasmormon.org.
"In our learning, let us not neglect the fountain of revelation. The scriptures and the words of modern-day apostles and prophets are the sources of wisdom, divine knowledge, and personal revelation to help us find answers to all the challenges in life. Let us learn of Christ; let us seek out that knowledge which leads to peace, truth, and the sublime mysteries of eternity." Dieter F. Uchtdorf, LDS Apostle, General Conference, October 2009 | wasmormon.org
"In our learning, let us not neglect the fountain of revelation. The scriptures and the words of modern-day apostles and prophets are the sources of wisdom, divine knowledge, and personal revelation to help us find answers to all the challenges in life. Let us learn of Christ; let us seek out that knowledge which leads to peace, truth, and the sublime mysteries of eternity." Dieter F. Uchtdorf, LDS Apostle, General Conference, October 2009
"Suppose you found your brother in bed with your wife, and put a javelin through both of them, you would be justified, and they would atone for their sins, and be received into the kingdom of God. I would at once do so in such a case; and under such circumstances, I have no wife whom I love so well that I would not put a javelin through her heart, and I would do it with clean hands." - Brigham Young, Mormon Prophet, Salt Lake City, March 16, 1856 Journal Of Discourses, Volume 3, Discourse 35 | wasmormon.org
"Suppose you found your brother in bed with your wife, and put a javelin through both of them, you would be justified, and they would atone for their sins, and be received into the kingdom of God. I would at once do so in such a case; and under such circumstances, I have no wife whom I love so well that I would not put a javelin through her heart, and I would do it with clean hands." - Brigham Young, Mormon Prophet, Salt Lake City, March 16, 1856 Journal Of Discourses, Volume 3, Discourse 35
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
"I believe firmly in individualism. Be yourself, not who others want you to be. And one of the most important aspects of my life is informed consent. I believe in the importance of making choices for yourself and not believing what other people tell you and/or want you to believe. I am firmly agnostic and won't deny that God exists, but I do believe that the Mormon interpretation of God doesn't exist. I am also very sex-positive and believe in sexual liberation and freedom, and I know from experience and witness that sexual repression gets nowhere. As such, I fully endorse living your sex life the way you desire. Not someone else. Your body, your choice." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"I believe firmly in individualism. Be yourself, not who others want you to be. And one of the most important aspects of my life is informed consent. I believe in the importance of making choices for yourself and not believing what other people tell you and/or want you to believe. I am firmly agnostic and won't deny that God exists, but I do believe that the Mormon interpretation of God doesn't exist. I am also very sex-positive and believe in sexual liberation and freedom, and I know from experience and witness that sexual repression gets nowhere. As such, I fully endorse living your sex life the way you desire. Not someone else. Your body, your choice." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"Mormons think believe in a loving God. Even growing up I always believed Satan was a better character than God. God's love always felt conditional to some degree when I was growing up and now that I'm out I realize how conditional it actually is. The Mormon Jesus definitely isn't a loving God, but Mormons will for sure try to claim he is." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"Mormons think believe in a loving God. Even growing up I always believed Satan was a better character than God. God's love always felt conditional to some degree when I was growing up and now that I'm out I realize how conditional it actually is. The Mormon Jesus definitely isn't a loving God, but Mormons will for sure try to claim he is." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"I now know there's no chance of me ever finding happiness in the church, so now I decided to put the church behind me. I officially resigned from the church in June of 2024, the same month I drank my first cup of coffee. I have never been happier since leaving, and now I finally have a sense of control and direction in my life without some hocus-pocus religion telling me what and what not to do. I have never felt more liberated and in control of my life than I do now. I have since read the CES Letter, and now there is no chance of me EVER going back. I learned one very crucial rule about life: it gets better." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"I now know there's no chance of me ever finding happiness in the church, so now I decided to put the church behind me. I officially resigned from the church in June of 2024, the same month I drank my first cup of coffee. I have never been happier since leaving, and now I finally have a sense of control and direction in my life without some hocus-pocus religion telling me what and what not to do. I have never felt more liberated and in control of my life than I do now. I have since read the CES Letter, and now there is no chance of me EVER going back. I learned one very crucial rule about life: it gets better." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"I had a private one-on-one interview with my bishop over my bisexuality. One of my most embarrassing moments and I never want to live through something like that again. This conversation happened when I was a minor and I was not allowed to have my parents with me. I had a back-and-forth battle with my faith, and a gender identity crisis. My parents found out about it. And my shelf is completely broken." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"I had a private one-on-one interview with my bishop over my bisexuality. One of my most embarrassing moments and I never want to live through something like that again. This conversation happened when I was a minor and I was not allowed to have my parents with me. I had a back-and-forth battle with my faith, and a gender identity crisis. My parents found out about it. And my shelf is completely broken." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"Later, my niece lived with me. My primary teacher gave her a rock. She would put the rock under her pillow after she got home from school, to remind her to pray at night. After praying, she would put it on the floor, so it would stub her in the toe and remind her to pray in the morning. The idea of using physical harm to remind young children to pray, and doing it in such a way that the kids unknowingly consented to it, rubbed me the wrong way. And then my shelf started breaking." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"Later, my niece lived with me. My primary teacher gave her a rock. She would put the rock under her pillow after she got home from school, to remind her to pray at night. After praying, she would put it on the floor, so it would stub her in the toe and remind her to pray in the morning. The idea of using physical harm to remind young children to pray, and doing it in such a way that the kids unknowingly consented to it, rubbed me the wrong way. And then my shelf started breaking." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"I first made my way out of the church when I was about 11, after realizing how convenient the repentance system was. You could sin, repent, sin, repent, sin, repent, sin, repent. It was like a get out of jail free card. This made me ask a lot of questions, as I began seeing how far I could take this idea and pushed it as far as I could. All of a sudden, I had a lot more fun and felt happier when testing these waters." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"I first made my way out of the church when I was about 11, after realizing how convenient the repentance system was. You could sin, repent, sin, repent, sin, repent, sin, repent. It was like a get out of jail free card. This made me ask a lot of questions, as I began seeing how far I could take this idea and pushed it as far as I could. All of a sudden, I had a lot more fun and felt happier when testing these waters." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"I didn't know what was important, I didn't know who I was nor who I was meant to be. Everything was just extremely confusing. Despite this, I continued to hold on to the iron rod in the hopes that maybe I'd figure everything out. But I didn't." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"I didn't know what was important, I didn't know who I was nor who I was meant to be. Everything was just extremely confusing. Despite this, I continued to hold on to the iron rod in the hopes that maybe I'd figure everything out. But I didn't." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"I loved Boy Scouts, and always wanted to get my Eagle. I was genuinely devastated that they dropped the program. Throughout most of my time in the church, I felt like I wasn't good enough. I wasn't worthy of anything. I felt controlled. I felt like I was living someone else's life, and not my own. This ended up making my life and the world around me extremely confusing, and I didn't really know how to maneuver my way through life." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"I loved Boy Scouts, and always wanted to get my Eagle. I was genuinely devastated that they dropped the program. Throughout most of my time in the church, I felt like I wasn't good enough. I wasn't worthy of anything. I felt controlled. I felt like I was living someone else's life, and not my own. This ended up making my life and the world around me extremely confusing, and I didn't really know how to maneuver my way through life." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"Hi, I'm Jacob! I'm a lover of geography, tokusatsu, Deadpool, and music. I'm 19, I love traveling and learning about other cultures. I was born into the church, with ancestry from Wilford Woodruff and dozens of people on the Utah Expedition. Pretty much everyone on my mom's side of the family was and is an active and practicing Mormon. I was baptized when I was 8, I attended seminary, and I did my best to keep the commandments and to keep the sabbath day holy. Growing up, I was a very firm believer in the church. I was a Mormon." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
"Hi, I'm Jacob! I'm a lover of geography, tokusatsu, Deadpool, and music. I'm 19, I love traveling and learning about other cultures. I was born into the church, with ancestry from Wilford Woodruff and dozens of people on the Utah Expedition. Pretty much everyone on my mom's side of the family was and is an active and practicing Mormon. I was baptized when I was 8, I attended seminary, and I did my best to keep the commandments and to keep the sabbath day holy. Growing up, I was a very firm believer in the church. I was a Mormon." - Jacob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bakiraka01/
“God reveals to His prophets that there are moral absolutes. Sin will always be sin. Disobedience to the Lord’s commandments will always deprive us of His blessings. The world changes constantly and dramatically, but God, His commandments, and promised blessings do not change. They are immutable and unchanging.” - L. Tom Perry, LDS Apostle, April 2013 General Conference | wasmormon.org
“God reveals to His prophets that there are moral absolutes. Sin will always be sin. Disobedience to the Lord’s commandments will always deprive us of His blessings. The world changes constantly and dramatically, but God, His commandments, and promised blessings do not change. They are immutable and unchanging.” - L. Tom Perry, LDS Apostle, April 2013 General Conference
“The Lord’s commandments are of two types: permanent, like the doctrine of Christ, and temporary. Temporary commandments are those necessary for the needs of the Lord’s Church or the faithful in temporary circumstances, but to be set aside when the need has passed. Though only temporary, when still in force these commandments were given to be obeyed.” - Dallin H. Oaks, LDS Apostle, October 2024 General Conference | wasmormon.org
“The Lord’s commandments are of two types: permanent, like the doctrine of Christ, and temporary. Temporary commandments are those necessary for the needs of the Lord’s Church or the faithful in temporary circumstances, but to be set aside when the need has passed. Though only temporary, when still in force these commandments were given to be obeyed.” - Dallin H. Oaks, LDS Apostle, October 2024 General Conference
“As to the Mountain Meadows Massacre, which the series inaccurately portrays as reflective of a whole faith group, the church has long acknowledged and condemned this horrific tragedy. It has also taken significant steps to uncover and share the full truth of what happened and promote healing.” - LDS Newsroom Article: Depictions that Deceive: When Historical Fiction Does Harm | wasmormon.org
“As to the Mountain Meadows Massacre, which the series inaccurately portrays as reflective of a whole faith group, the church has long acknowledged and condemned this horrific tragedy. It has also taken significant steps to uncover and share the full truth of what happened and promote healing.” - LDS Newsroom Article: Depictions that Deceive: When Historical Fiction Does Harm
“A recently released streaming series presents a fictionalized interpretation of events in mid-19th century Utah. While historical fiction can be illuminating, this drama is dangerously misleading. Brigham Young, a revered prophet and courageous pioneer, is, by any historical standard, egregiously mischaracterized as a villainous, violent fanatic. Other individuals and groups are also depicted in ways that reinforce stereotypes that are both inaccurate and harmful.” - LDS Newsroom Article: Depictions that Deceive: When Historical Fiction Does Harm - Kim Coates as Brigham Young, in the Netflix series, American Primeval | wasmormon.org
“A recently released streaming series presents a fictionalized interpretation of events in mid-19th century Utah. While historical fiction can be illuminating, this drama is dangerously misleading. Brigham Young, a revered prophet and courageous pioneer, is, by any historical standard, egregiously mischaracterized as a villainous, violent fanatic. Other individuals and groups are also depicted in ways that reinforce stereotypes that are both inaccurate and harmful.” - LDS Newsroom Article: Depictions that Deceive: When Historical Fiction Does Harm - Kim Coates as Brigham Young, in the Netflix series, American Primeval
"The Anthon Transcript was a sheet of paper, thought to be lost, upon which Joseph Smith copied sample “reformed Egyptian” characters from the plates of the Book of Mormon. In the winter of 1828, Martin Harris showed these characters to Dr. Charles Anthon of Columbia College, and hence the name... [Anthon] maintained that he told Harris that he (Harris) was a victim of a fraud. Modern research suggests that, given the state of knowledge of Egyptian in 1828, Anthon’s views would have been little more than opinion... [The Anthon Transcript] contains seven horizontal lines of characters apparently copied from the plates. David Whitmer, who once owned the document, said it was this text that Martin Harris showed to Charles Anthon. However, this claim remains uncertain because the transcript does not correspond with Anthon’s assertion that the manuscript he saw was arranged in vertical columns. Even if the document is not the original, it almost certainly represents characters either copied from the plates in Joseph Smith’s possession or copied from the document carried by Harris. Twice in late 1844, after the Prophet’s martyrdom, portions of these symbols were published as characters that Joseph Smith had copied from the gold plates." Anthon Transcript. Danel W. Bachman. BYU Studies | wasmormon.org
"The Anthon Transcript was a sheet of paper, thought to be lost, upon which Joseph Smith copied sample “reformed Egyptian” characters from the plates of the Book of Mormon. In the winter of 1828, Martin Harris showed these characters to Dr. Charles Anthon of Columbia College, and hence the name... [Anthon] maintained that he told Harris that he (Harris) was a victim of a fraud. Modern research suggests that, given the state of knowledge of Egyptian in 1828, Anthon’s views would have been little more than opinion... [The Anthon Transcript] contains seven horizontal lines of characters apparently copied from the plates. David Whitmer, who once owned the document, said it was this text that Martin Harris showed to Charles Anthon. However, this claim remains uncertain because the transcript does not correspond with Anthon’s assertion that the manuscript he saw was arranged in vertical columns. Even if the document is not the original, it almost certainly represents characters either copied from the plates in Joseph Smith’s possession or copied from the document carried by Harris. Twice in late 1844, after the Prophet’s martyrdom, portions of these symbols were published as characters that Joseph Smith had copied from the gold plates." Anthon Transcript. Danel W. Bachman. BYU Studies
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
"I am so much happier in the life I live now than the life I might have pressured myself into if I had stayed. I wouldn't have started my transition, I might have married a man I didn't love, we might have had children, I wouldn't be working in the field I am now. I live on my own terms, I love my husband dearly, I like my job and I like working on Sundays, and I like not having kids. I am exploring my mental health issues, healing, and becoming a better person every day." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"I am so much happier in the life I live now than the life I might have pressured myself into if I had stayed. I wouldn't have started my transition, I might have married a man I didn't love, we might have had children, I wouldn't be working in the field I am now. I live on my own terms, I love my husband dearly, I like my job and I like working on Sundays, and I like not having kids. I am exploring my mental health issues, healing, and becoming a better person every day." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"I would take my shower in the morning, fill the tub up with water, and lay face down. It never worked, but each morning I gained a little more determination to do something more drastic, more real. One day, I finally had the courage to committ the more drastic action. Obviously I survived, but it DID kill the remaining belief in the church. No matter how hard I tried, I could no longer summon up a testimony, could no longer pretend to pray, could no longer act the part of the good Mormon girl. I had to give in to who I knew I really was. And that meant leaving." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/
"I would take my shower in the morning, fill the tub up with water, and lay face down. It never worked, but each morning I gained a little more determination to do something more drastic, more real. One day, I finally had the courage to committ the more drastic action. Obviously I survived, but it DID kill the remaining belief in the church. No matter how hard I tried, I could no longer summon up a testimony, could no longer pretend to pray, could no longer act the part of the good Mormon girl. I had to give in to who I knew I really was. And that meant leaving." - Bennets "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/bennjh/