Stories of mormon faith transitions. Share your truth – own your story!
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This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/docbob49/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
"First it was church history. Then doctrine. Then the finances. Then the hypocrisy." - Bob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/docbob49/
"I read church history and was amazed at what I did not know." - Bob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/docbob49/
"A small town Mormon boy. I had 4 years of released time seminary, a mission interview by Assistant Apostle Packer in 1962, a mission to Mississippi where we were told not to contact the Negro. I had a BYU faculty interview by Apostle Stapley in 1977 and a Salt Lake temple marriage. I served as a Branch President in Nebraska, on the High Council in Flagstaff, and in the Bishopric in Cache Valley. I was a Mormon." - Bob's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/docbob49/
Faith is what fills the void between the known and unknown…and that can be a deep, wide, terrifying void. But faith is BETWEEN the known and unknown…not OVER.Faith cannot envelope, hide, mask, or alter what is known. Faith is belief without proof…not belief despite proof." - Corbin Allred, Actor, Ex-Mormon
Played Satan in Mormon Temple Endowment Video
"There is a big difference between allowing facts to influence our feelings and allowing feelings to influence our facts. It's important to recognize that difference. Feelings are not facts, belief is not knowledge, and subjective truth is not objective truth." - Corbin Allred, Actor, Ex-Mormon
Played Satan in Mormon Temple Endowment Video
“Was not Joseph Smith a money digger? Yes, but it was never a very profitable job for him, as he only got fourteen dollars a month for it.” - Joseph Smith Jr, Elders Journal. Far West, Missouri. July 1838
The following answers to questions, which were asked in the last number of the Journal
“It's not their beliefs that define cults but the way they deceptively recruit, indoctrinate, and ultimately control the lives of their members.” - Dr. Steven Hassan, Developed the BITE Model™ to describe cults.
Author, Mental Health Counselor, Cult Expert
The BITE™ Model of Authoritarian control is a framework to identify and analyze the ways cults and other high-control groups manipulate their members with mind control or undue influence.
BITE stands for Behavior, Information, Thought, and Emotional control. Behavior control explores how manipulative groups dominate actions and behaviors through strict rules, rewards, and punishments, limiting individual autonomy. Information control examines the tactics manipulative organizations use such as censorship and propaganda, restricting members’ access to outside perspectives. Thought Control focuses on psychological techniques used by such groups to shape beliefs and attitudes, suppressing critical thinking and promoting conformity. Emotional Control explores how these groups manipulate emotions, fostering dependency and loyalty through guilt, and fear-based indoctrination.
“BITE offers a clearly defined model based on observable behaviors that expert witnesses can use to evaluate the presence of mind control or thought reform across a variety of settings and groups.” - Dr. Steven Hassan, Developed the BITE Model™ to describe cults.
Author, Mental Health Counselor, Cult Expert
“This odd humour of digging for money ... has for several years been mighty prevalent among us. Men, otherwise of very good sense, have been drawn into this practice through an over weening desire of sudden wealth, and an easy credulity of what they so earnestly wished might be true. While the rational and almost certain methods of acquiring riches by industry and frugality are neglected or forgotten. There is certainly something very bewitching in the pursuit after mines of gold and silver, and other valuable metals; and many have been ruined by it.
Surely, this is nothing less than the most egregious folly and madness.” - Benjamin Franklin, The Busy-Body, No. 8, March 27, 1729
“There are amongst us great numbers of honest artificers and labouring people, who, fed with a vain hope of growing suddenly rich, neglect their business, almost to the ruining of themselves and [their] families, and voluntarily endure abundance of fatigue in a fruitless search after imaginary treasures. They wander through the woods and bushes by day to discover the marks and signs; at midnight they repair to the hopeful spot with spades and pickaxes; full of expectation they labour violently, trembling at the same time in every joint, through fear of certain malicious demons who are said to haunt and guard such places. At length a mighty hole is dug, and perhaps several cartloads of earth thrown out, but alas, no cag or iron pot is found! No seaman’s chest crammed with Spanish pistoles, or weighty pieces of eight! Then they conclude, that through some mistake in the procedure, some rash word spoke, or some rule of art neglected, the guardian spirit had power to sink it deeper into the earth and convey it out of their reach.” - Benjamin Franklin, The Busy-Body, No. 8, March 27, 1729
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
"I lost my belief in God first, and let Mormonism hover at edges of my life through family and friends. I didn't spend time with it, but I didn't push it away. But my mental health deteriorated year after year. Until I realized that I was not living my life. I was enduring it. I was going through the motions I learned so long ago instead of deciding for myself what would make me happy. So I started detaching my sense of self from my Mormon upbringing. And though it has been work, it has been so worth it." - Jana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/
"Suddenly I KNEW that there was no God. A loving God would NOT "allow" these things to happen over and over to good, loving, and faithful people. There was no lesson to be learned, just pain. I looked around and realized that all the piles of crap in my life did not have gold nuggets inside that I would enjoy in the next life. Crap happens, and there is no rhyme or reason to it. We have to do what we can to make our life and the lives of those we love as beautiful as we can. There is no magical sky daddy who will do it for us if we are 'good'." - Jana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/
"My shelf got heavier and heavier, but I tried not to think about it. I grew up KNOWING that if we are righteous we would be blessed. And that God would not give us more trials than we could handle, and that enduring them would bring MORE blessings. But eventually I had seen one too many times when someone I love with my whole heart got kicked by life while they were already down." - Jana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/
"It wanted me to be too many things: an obedient wife, a wonderful mother, a support to the priesthood, a leader and example for others, a spiritual giant, an unquestioning follower. It wanted me to always be happy, pretty, busy, selfless, devoted, and un-worldly. It told me to be a stay-at-home mom who cooked and baked and canned, had her food storage, knew all the right answers, prayed multiple times a day, and gave her life completely over to the Lord. I didn't want any of those things. I just wanted to figure out how to be happy with myself." - Jana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/
"As I grew older, I became less and less happy with the Mormon culture and what it wanted from me. It made me feel bad for any ways in which I wasn't "perfect". Any time I made a mistake I was angry at myself, thinking a better person would have been prompted to do things the right way. It told me that if I was truly righteous I shouldn't be suffering from depression. It surrounded me with the false smiles of people who knew nothing about me but knew what was "best" for me." - Jana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/
"Many times while I was growing up, I was challenged to pray to know The Church was true. And so I did. I was answered by silence and doubt. One time, besieged by depression and low self-worth, I spent perhaps a half hour pleading with my Heavenly Father to let me know that he loved me. I was feeling so alone and unloved, but I knew there was someone who was supposed to love me unconditionally. Again, I was answered with nothing: no still small voice, no burning bosom or even a slight warming of my heart. I put this on my shelf, and tried to tell myself that it didn't mean I wasn't loved." - Jana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/
"I knew I didn't quite fit the Mormon cookie-cutter. I was sort of afraid of Mormon heaven. For one thing, I knew I would have to share my husband, with no regard for how I felt about it. I also couldn't think of a single thing I enjoyed that didn't have at least a little "worldliness" to it. And I found most church stuff to be incredibly boring. Would my brain be changed so much after I died that I wouldn't miss my books and games, and would instead love being all perfect and spiritual? How would that still be me? This thought stuck with me like a burr, making it so that I was never quite comfortable in my Mormon skin. It was the first item on my shelf." - Jana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/
"I grew up in Utah. Both sides of my family were SUPER Mormon: we're talking "clutch your pearls at the very IDEA of drinking coffee or long hair on men" Mormon. I was the "perfect" daughter. I was quiet, did what I was told, kept the peace, and didn't rock the boat. I knew exactly what my future would look like: graduate high school, go to BYU, marry an RM in the temple, have 4+ kids, and go to the Celestial Kingdom when I died." - Jana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/
"I was born into the church, and believed everything I was told. It's a great feeling to think that you are special (as the Mormon Church says you are). But that feeling faded as I struggled with depression and low self-worth. The message I was constantly fed was that the Mormon Church was the only way to true happiness. If I was in it and miserable, I must be the problem. Mormonism is a tiny box to try and fit in, and pain from all the parts that didn't fit. I am a nerd with ADHD, who has found a love for critical thinking. I was a mormon." - Jana's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/the-last-tapircorn/
"You could have [the gold] plates, you could turn the pages, you could look at them, you could hold them, and you wouldn't know any more after that experience whether or not the book is true than you would have before... You will not get to know it by trying to prove it archaeologically,
or by DNA, or by anything else, in my judgment...
I don't believe that's how people will ever come to know whether or not the Book of Mormon is the word of God... Religious truth is always confirmed by what you feel." - Elder M. Russell Ballard, LDS Apostle addresses the question of whether there is scientific proof of The Book of Mormon
"I don't believe that's how people will ever come to know whether or not the Book of Mormon is the word of God. I remember an experience that I had as a mission president some years ago when I presided over the affairs of the church in Eastern Canada. I had met with about 30 different ministers of different religions, and then I let them ask me questions. The very first question I was asked was by a fine minister who said, "Mr. Ballard, if you just give us the gold plates and let us see that they exist, then we would know that the Book of Mormon is true." I looked at him and said, "Father, you know better than that. You're a man of the cloth. You know that God has never revealed religious truth to the heart and soul of a man (or a woman) except by the power of the Spirit. Now, you could have those plates, you could turn the pages, you could look at them, you could hold them, and you wouldn't know any more after that experience whether or not the book is true than you would have before. My question to you is, have you ever read the Book of Mormon?" He said, "No, I haven't." That's how people will come to know whether or not the Book of Mormon is true. You will not get to know it by trying to prove it archaeologically, or by DNA, or by anything else, in my judgment. Just pick it up, read it, and pray about it, and you will come to know. Religious truth is always confirmed by what you feel. That's the way Heavenly Father answers prayers." M. Russell Ballard, LDS Apostle addresses the question of whether there is scientific proof of The Book of Mormon, 2007
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"They see their lives through a secular lens, not a spiritual lens. Their preoccupation is self-interest and not the Savior. They are merely or primarily carnally, to use a scripture term, or worldly-minded and less so spiritually-minded. As a result, the Holy Ghost is not active in their lives. Because you can't see what you aren't looking for, they are largely sleeping through the restoration and missing the entire objective of mortality. That's problematic.
They are currently, spiritually sight and hearing impaired." - Kevin W. Pearson, LDS Elder, First Quorum of the Seventy
Keynote Address, 2024 Utah YSA Conference
"These people place very little value on scriptures because they don't see the relevance, presently of the scriptures in their life. Hence they don't search the scriptures, they pay little attention to the words of living prophets, but they seem to be riveted on social media and those critical of sacred things. They're casual at best with sacred covenants. Therefore, the influence of the Holy Ghost is not active in their lives." - Kevin W. Pearson, LDS Elder, First Quorum of the Seventy
Keynote Address, 2024 Utah YSA Conference
"There are unfortunately others who really aren't paying much attention spiritually. They're living in the last dispensation of times, but that fact is kind of lost on them. Hopefully, this condition is more temporary than permanent. The Savior, His gospel, and the church exist, at best, on the periphery of their lives, but they're not presently relevant to their lives. They perceive the church as a religious institution but not as the Church of Jesus Christ.
They agree with the church when the church agrees with them, but are often critical of church leaders, doctrines, and policies that don't suit their present view of the world." - Kevin W. Pearson, LDS Elder, First Quorum of the Seventy
Keynote Address, 2024 Utah YSA Conference
"We need the voting body to hear many voices of support with personal reasons why you want this temple here in our community. It doesn't have to be long. Brief is actually better. Be sincere and share from the heart. We don't want these scripted... A key message needs to be on the importance of the temple and how it allows you to worship as you choose, to practice your faith, and that the building itself is a symbol of your faith (including the steeple if you feel to be specific in that regard)... Please do not copy and paste these exact words and phrases in your messages. Please use your own as you prayerfully feel impressed to do so!" - Elder Jonathan Cannon, LDS Area Authority Seventy, North America Southwest Area, Letter urging Local Stakes to Voice Support for the Proposed McKinney, TX Temple
"The height of the steeple is part of our Religious Observance." - Elder Jonathan Cannon, LDS Area Authority Seventy, North America Southwest Area (includes Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, Oklahoma, and Texas)
"We’re so blessed to have temples. We’ll have increasing numbers of temples as the Church grows. But it’s not the number, and it’s not the location. It’s not the architecture. It’s the ordinances inside." - President Russell M. Nelson, Church News, August 19, 2022
"I hear people say, oh that's a small temple. There's no such thing as a small temple – they're just temples. There's no such thing as small covenants or small ordinances. That, to me, reflects this fixation on it's the building. Who cares what the size is, if you have access to the same covenants and ordinances!" - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle: Church News - April 27, 2023
"I think the word for this attitude is extreme arrogance. It's what we, in Fairview, will remember about the LDS Representatives. If the town of Fairview and its residents are somehow forced to accept this misplace gigantic building, thousands of folks from this area passing by that building every day, will only see and remember the legacy of the LDS arrogance. I suspect that is not the legacy that you want to leave with." - Fairview Mayor, Henry Lessner, Regarding the Proposed Mormon Temple, Aug 6, 2024
"Your representative's position with our residents from the very start has been if you don't like this, if you don't approve this building, as is, we will sue you. Your attorneys from Salt Lake City are very smooth. Calmly starting our conversation with the fact that they've dealt with municipalities many, many times, if y'all remember that conversation, and essentially, have forced these communities to take an unwanted large building. What a thing to be proud of." - Fairview Mayor, Henry Lessner, Regarding the Proposed Mormon Temple, Aug 6, 2024
"This proposed gigantic building is to be located in the residential side of town. Where the maximum allowable height is 35ft. Every home over there, conforms with this. At this location, this proposed building would be so out of scale, so out of place that it would look like some alien civilization has dropped it onto that property. It is hard to imagine how, an architect or site planner or a simple casual observer could not see how out of place that building would be, given the zoning." - Fairview Mayor, Henry Lessner, Regarding the Proposed Mormon Temple, Aug 6, 2024
"The maximum home height in this area allowed is 35 feet. Zoning is tightly enforced. There is nothing new about the way our town is zoned. It was done this way intentionally. The building that your leaders from Salt Lake City are proposing is 65ft tall and about 45,000 square feet. Surrounded by gleaming white marble and topped by a 109ft spire. The proposed temple building itself is literally twice as large as our town hall. And then you stick to 109 foot spire on top. It takes it up to 174 feet, which is taller than our water towers." - Fairview Mayor, Henry Lessner, Regarding the Proposed Mormon Temple, Aug 6, 2024
"The issue of revising our zoning ordinance for this proposed building is the biggest crisis that has ever impacted our town. Many of the folks supporting the LDS position are not from Fairview, matter of fact the vast majority are not! This is a zoning issue. Not an issue related to anything to do with the LDS Corporation." - Fairview Mayor, Henry Lessner,
Regarding the Proposed Mormon Temple, Aug 6, 2024
“There's this underpinning belief in Mormonism that even if something is make-believe, does it matter? It's this fantasy that keeps the church going. They don't care about evidence or science. They care about faith and promoting this feeling of goodness and happiness... Members only see the good because the good works for them, but this is a selfish point of view. Even if the doctrine teaches unkind, bad, horrible, racist, sexist, and homophobic things about other people, if it works for me why would I walk away? That's why the heart of Mormonism is very insidious because those who are members turn a blind eye to the people who are damaged by the religion, because if it works for them, where's the problem?” - Alyssa Grenfell, YouTube: ExMormon Reacts to South Park's "All About Mormons"
"Maybe Joseph Smith did make it all up, but I have a great life!" - Gary Harrison, South Park
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/exmo-in-flames/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
In the meantime, I am pretending. I attend church and Young Women's activities, and try to stay quiet and compliant. In secret, I sneak out to drink coffee and joke with friends. I will make it out of this cult eventually, and I will take my life back. - Ally's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/exmo-in-flames/
Right now, it is not safe to come out as exmormon. When I do, I will be the first in my family to leave. However, my hope is to not be the last. By exposing the hypocrisies and harm done by the church, I might be able to put some weight on the figurative "shelves" of my parents, sibling, and extended family. - Ally's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/exmo-in-flames/
It has been a year and a half since I fully deconstructed the church. It will be three more years until I can leave, and yeah, it gets pretty shitty sometimes pretending to be someone I'm not. But I have found a support system with my non-Mormon friends and with other exmos online. - Ally's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/exmo-in-flames/
I cried in my room for hours and hours one night, praying and pleading desperately for God to give me something, some sign that it was all true. There was nothing. No answer. I was alone. On that night my "shelf" had broken at only thirteen, and ever since then I have been researching the history of Mormonism and contemplating how I will escape the church once I am eighteen. - Ally's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/exmo-in-flames/
I remember this awful hollow feeling in my chest. If the church really wasn't true, then who was I? What would happen to me? I am fifteen. My family doesn't know. I am hiding. I have been PIMO (physically in, mentally out of the church) for close to two years. - Ally's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/exmo-in-flames/
When I was thirteen, it all came crashing down. Over a year or so, I realized that I was queer and started doing some research about the Mormon church, and what I found shocked me. - Ally's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/exmo-in-flames/
I had doubts about the church even as a kid. Things just didn't seem to line up sometimes, but I still trusted and followed with blind faith. I didn't know anything different. - Ally's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/exmo-in-flames/
I was raised in a multigenerational traditional Mormon family. My ancestor was one of Joseph Smith's wives. I was diagnosed with severe anxiety at age twelve, which was, in part, because of Mormonism. I was a Mormon. - Ally's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/exmo-in-flames/
![“There are amongst us great numbers of honest artificers and labouring people, who, fed with a vain hope of growing suddenly rich, neglect their business, almost to the ruining of themselves and [their] families, and voluntarily endure abundance of fatigue in a fruitless search after imaginary treasures. They wander through the woods and bushes by day to discover the marks and signs; at midnight they repair to the hopeful spot with spades and pickaxes; full of expectation they labour violently, trembling at the same time in every joint, through fear of certain malicious demons who are said to haunt and guard such places. At length a mighty hole is dug, and perhaps several cartloads of earth thrown out, but alas, no cag or iron pot is found! No seaman’s chest crammed with Spanish pistoles, or weighty pieces of eight! Then they conclude, that through some mistake in the procedure, some rash word spoke, or some rule of art neglected, the guardian spirit had power to sink it deeper into the earth and convey it out of their reach.” - Benjamin Franklin, The Busy-Body, No. 8, March 27, 1729 | wasmormon.org](https://i0.wp.com/wasmormon.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Benjamin-Franklin-on-treasure-diggers.jpg?fit=640%2C640&ssl=1)
!["You could have [the gold] plates, you could turn the pages, you could look at them, you could hold them, and you wouldn't know any more after that experience whether or not the book is true than you would have before... You will not get to know it by trying to prove it archaeologically, or by DNA, or by anything else, in my judgment... I don't believe that's how people will ever come to know whether or not the Book of Mormon is the word of God... Religious truth is always confirmed by what you feel." - Elder M. Russell Ballard, LDS Apostle addresses the question of whether there is scientific proof of The Book of Mormon | wasmormon.org](https://i0.wp.com/wasmormon.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/M-Russell-Ballard-addresses-the-question-of-whether-there-is-scientific-proof-of-The-Book-of-Mormon.jpg?fit=640%2C640&ssl=1)
