Stories of mormon faith transitions. Share your truth – own your story!
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This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/midlifeexmomomma/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
I have a good idea of who I was, I'm beginning to better understand who I am, and I have a clear vision of who I want to be. I want to take the lessons I've learned from these crazy life experiences, and use them to help others. I want to support those who are going through transitions of any kind, especially leaving high-demand religions like Mormonism. And so, as I embark on this new chapter of life, I do so with gratitute to have landed with a community that is supportive and relatable and does a hell of a good job at "mourning with those who mourn and comforting those who stand in need of comfort." - Kate's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/midlifeexmomomma/
I decided to do the same for my belief system. Decluttering my home while decluttering my faith was both inspiring and symbolic. I spread out all of my beliefs before me to determine which ones sparked joy. The beliefs, or values I kept were those that were not unique to the Mormon church. I held tight to beliefs that virtues like kindness, compassion, service, love, laughter, hard work, gratitude, and honesty would make for a better life. However, the beliefs that were unique to the Mormon church,like Joseph Smith's divine role as prophet, polygamy, The Book of Mormon, celestial marriage, the priesthood, temple work, etc. etc. etc. could all go into the "give away" pile. No, not the "give away" pile. The "burn to ashes" pile, because these beliefs are going to do anyone any good. - Kate's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/midlifeexmomomma/
When I left the church, everyone was just as surprised as I was. I'd had some experiences that weighed heavily on my proverbial shelf, until everything finally came crashing down. As I was redeemed from the Cult of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I was planning on breaking the news to EVERYONE! I started a TikTok page during this time under the handle Midlife Exmo Momma. One of my first videos was of me burning my marriage license from the temple and the copy of The Family: A Proclamation to the World that accompanied it. As I knew I'd be consolidating my life into a storage unit, I felt free to get rid of more than just papers. I burned my temple clothes, my missionary journals and handbooks. I tossed my scriptures and every journal from my youth with pages filled with self-loathing. I didn't hesitate to toss these reminders of the lies I wanted to leave behind me. - Kate's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/midlifeexmomomma/
I stumbled upon a podcast called Latter-Day Struggles. The objective of the hosts, it seemed, was to support Mormons in their faith struggles and help them to become more loving and nuanced members. That's what I wanted for myself, so I binged. I couldn't get enough. I felt seen and heard. I understood that I wasn't crazy or wicked for having questions and concerns about the church's policies and doctrines. My doubts were valid. I couldn't focus on anything other than my faith unraveling before my eyes. The podcast gave me both the curiosity and the courage to read the forbidden anti-Mormon documents I'd heard about from some of my exmormon friends. I then spent three days doing little else but reading the Church's Gospel Topics Essays, A Letter to My Wife, and The CES Letter. I felt "the scales had fallen from my eyes." I could see clearly. It all made sense. Everything I had been taught about the church was utter bullshit, and I was finally free to wash the stench from me. - Kate's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/midlifeexmomomma/
I realized that I'd been abused my entire life by my mother. Her explosive rage and inability to ever apologize caught me off guard one day when I called her to say hello. As she yelled at me for having the audacity to call her when she was in a bad mood, I realized that I was never the problem as I'd been led to believe. I'd spent my entire life feeling as though I was responsible for her anger, and it dawned on me for the first time that it had never been my fault. I tried setting boundaries with her, letting her know that if she treated me that way, I'd have no choice but to leave. She yelled at me for calling her out on her behavior. I searched everything I could find about what the prophets had taught about anger and abuse: "If you're an abuser, you're in the wrong and you need to repent." Then I looked at what they say to victims of abuse: "If you've been abused, you need to forgive your abuser. Forgive 70 x 7. Forgive your abusers or God's not going to forgive you." Some leaders went so far as to tell the victims to take responsibility for the abuse they received. It was appalling. - Kate's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/midlifeexmomomma/
I heard a talk from a very nuanced member of the gospel speak about the covenant to "mourn with those who mourn and comfort those who stand in need of comfort." However, when people leave the church, members aren't so compassionate. Instead of treating these who have lost their faith, with love and compassion, we often ostracize them and don't seek to understand their pain. This message really resonated with me. I had a bunch of family and friends who had left the church, and I realized I had never made an effort to understand why they had left. So I started asking them, out of genuine curiosity and concern, what caused them to leave. Every time I asked, I heard stories of pain and sorrow, and oftentimes they were surprised that I had asked at all. Mormons typically didn't do that sort of thing. The way the church teaches its members to judge former members as "lazy learners" and "sinners" added additional weight to my shelf. - Kate's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/midlifeexmomomma/
My then 13-year-old Morgan came out to me as non-binary and pansexual. I was shocked and had no idea how to respond to this. I'd considered myself an LGBTQ+ ally before that, but I told Morgan I wasn't ready to use her preferred pronouns. I did all I could to learn about LGBTQ+ youth through a gospel lens. I listened to podcasts, I joined a support group, and spoke with LDS parents with children who identified as LGBTQ+. I still wasn't ready. Finally, Morgan was in a play where the cast and crew used their preferred pronouns. I saw the difference it made in Morgan to be referred to by these pronouns of choice. Morgan was more confident and radiated happiness. I decided then and there that if I had to choose between supporting the church's doctrine and loving my child, I'd choose to love my child. The church's treatment of LGBTQ+ individuals weighed heavily on my shelf, but even then, it wasn't quite ready to break. - Kate's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/midlifeexmomomma/
In my second year of teaching, I met a man and fell in love. Six months after meeting, we were sealed in the temple. Eleven months after that, we had a baby, Morgan, and postpartum depression hit me like a ton of bricks. Our marriage went south, mostly because he just couldn't relate to my mental illness. After six years of marriage, we divorced. Soon after the divorce was finalized, I met another man on an LDS dating app. With encouragement from both of our bishops, I married far earlier than was healthy (again, only six months). We had four kids between us, and our daughters were the best of friends. Unfortunately, my new husband and I were not. Our marriage was never a particularly happy one, but it wasn't supposed to be, was it? Obedience. Sacrifice. Endurance to the End. That doctrine had been pounded into us since birth and there was no way we were going to waver from the straight and narrow. At least we were working toward happiness in the next life. - Kate's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/midlifeexmomomma/
I'm a mom, dog mom, divorcee, former teacher, barbershopper, future author, and public speaker. Born in the covenant, this past summer I turned 45 years old, and for my birthday I got a sweet midlife crisis. In a matter of months, I ended my 18-year teaching career to support my husband in his new career out of state, I quit grad school halfway through, my shelf came crashing down, I left the LDS church for good, my second husband and I divorced, I severed ties with my parents and others who refused to show empathy or respect my boundaries, we sold our home, I packed the place up single-handedly, and wound up homeless and unemployed. And all parts of this midlife transition were tied to my decision to first stay in, then ultimately leave the church. I was a Mormon. - Kate's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/midlifeexmomomma/
“the Lord heard my cry in the wilderness and while in the attitude of calling upon the Lord in the 16th year of my age a piller of fire light above the brightness of the sun at noon day come down from above and rested upon me and I was filled with the spirit of god and the Lord opened the heavens upon me and I saw the Lord and he spake unto me saying 'Joseph my son thy sins are forgiven thee'” - First Recorded Account of the First Vision
Joseph Smith Jr Journal, 1832
“by searching the scriptures I found that mankind did not come unto the Lord but that they had apostatised from the true and living faith and there was no society or denomination that built upon the gospel of Jesus Christ as recorded in the New Testament” - First Recorded Account of the First Vision
Joseph Smith Jr Journal, 1832
Joseph Smith's First Vision differences in the main four versions: 1832, 1835, 1853 & 1838
“To me the gospel is not a great mass of theological jargon. It is a simple and beautiful and logical thing, with one quiet truth following another in orderly sequence.
I do not fret over the mysteries... I am not worried that the Prophet Joseph Smith gave a number of versions of the first vision” - President Gordon B. Hinckley, as Second Counselor in the First Presidency, November 1983 | First Presidency Message, October 1984 Ensign
“Let's Go Shopping!” “We’re so pleased to join in inviting the world to come to downtown Salt Lake City... Everything that we see around us is evidence of the long-standing commitment of The Church to Salt Lake City. Downtown, thanks to so many, is indeed rising.” - President Eyring spoke on behalf of the church during the ribbon-cutting ceremony officially opening City Creek Center. Church President Thomas S. Monson, second counselor President Dieter F. Uchtdorf and the Presiding Bishopric were also in attendance.
“Not one penny of tithing goes to the Church’s for-profit endeavors. No tithing went toward City Creek Center.” - Keith B. McMullin, Head of Deseret Management Corporation, Previously the Second Counselor in the Presiding Bishopric
“So there is no misunderstanding, I emphasize that none of that money comes from the tithing of faithful members. That is not how we use tithing funds.” - Presiding Bishop H. David Burton | October 8, 2003 Press Conference Announcing Church strategy to revitalize downtown Salt Lake City
“I wish to give the entire Church the assurance that tithing funds have not and will not be used to acquire this property. Nor will they be used in developing it for commercial purposes.” - President Gordon B. Hinckley | General Conference April 2003
Jesus City Creek Center SLC - Lets Go Shopping
https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/1d7529n/lets_go_shopping_citycreekcenter/
Facts of feelings: In life, there is a big difference between allowing facts to influence our feelings and allowing feelings to influence our facts. It's important to recognize that difference." - Corbin Allred, Ex-Mormon Actor via Instagram
corbin allred leave and take a third of members with
Mormonism destructive cult – Steven Hassan AMA
This is a spotlight on a profile shared at wasmormon.org. These are just the highlights, so please find the full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/spenceay94/. There are stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by hundreds of users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
"During my deconstruction of the church I discovered I'm bi-sexual. I looked into how the church treats the LGBTQ community, it didn't help." - Spence's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/spenceay94/
"I first read the letter for my wife and I couldn't reconcile with the facts it contains, Joseph Smith was not a good man, he wasn't even pleasant from the sound of it. After that I struggled to see why I should stay." - Spence's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/spenceay94/
"Growing up I had a strong testimony, but I struggled. Now, without the church, I'm happier than I've ever been. I finally feel like I can be myself. I was a Mormon." - Spence's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/spenceay94/
“Scholars still argue whether Joseph Smith was convicted of glass looking in 1826, but the point is moot. Church scholars now acknowledge that he had a seer stone and did look for lost objects as a young man... No one denies that magic was there, especially in the mid-1820s. Smith never repudiated folk traditions; he continued to use the seer stone until late in life and used it in the translation process.” - Richard Bushman, LDS Historian
“The treasure-seeking stories of Joseph Smith’s youth have done more than cast a shadow on his character. They supply a secular explanation for his extraordinary religious claims... The response of Mormon historians in the 1970s was to deny almost everything... Not only the Smiths but also many of their neighbors were looking for treasure in Palmyra in the 1820s. It may not have been the most uplifting activity, and some scoffed, but it was something like reading astrological charts today—a little goofy but harmless. The only harm came when someone tried to deceive others to get gain. That was why Joseph Smith was put on trial.” - Richard Bushman, LDS Historian
“If a court record could be identified, and if it contained a confession by Joseph Smith which revealed him to be a poor, ignorant, deluded, and superstitious person, then it follows that his believers must deny his claimed divine guidance which led them to follow him... How could he be a prophet of God, the leader of the Restored Church, if he had been the superstitious fraud which 'the pages from a book' declared he confessed to be?” - Francis W. Kirkham, LDS Historian
A New Witness For Christ in America (1942), Pages 486-487
“A careful study of all facts regarding this alleged confession of Joseph Smith in a court of law that he had used a seer stone to find hidden treasure for purposes of fraud, must come to the conclusion that no such record was ever made, and therefore, is not in existence... If any evidence had been in existence that Joseph Smith had used a seer stone for fraud and deception, and especially had he made this confession in a court of law as early as 1826, or four years before the Book of Mormon was printed, and this confession was in a court record, it would have been impossible for him to have organized the restored Church.” - Francis W. Kirkham, LDS Historian
A New Witness For Christ in America (1942), Pages 385-387
“if this court record is authentic it is the most damning evidence in existence against Joseph Smith... Now bear in mind that the is the key witness to the existence of the Bainbridge court record, and that that record is the most devastating blow to Smith ever delivered” - Hugh Nibley, LDS Historian
The Myth Makers (1961) Page 142
“the inhabitants thereof began to hide up their treasures in the earth; and they became slippery, because the Lord had cursed the land, that they could not hold them, nor retain them again. And it came to pass that there were sorceries, and witchcrafts, and magics; and the power of the evil one was wrought upon all the face of the land” - Mormon 1:18-19 | The Book of Mormon
“he curseth your riches, that they become slippery, that ye cannot hold them” “we have hid up our treasures and they have slipped away from us, because of the curse of the land.” “for behold the land is cursed, and all things are become slippery, and we cannot hold them.” - Helaman 13:31, 35, 36 | The Book of Mormon
“the spades often struck the iron sides of the treasure chest, and how it was charmed away, now six inches this side, now four feet deeper, and again completely out of reach” - Porter Rockwell - Joseph Smith's Neighbor, Friend and Bodyguard
A Gentile Account of Life in Utah's Dixie - Elizabeth Wood Kane
“Three of us took some tools to go to the hill and hunt for more boxes of gold or something, and indeed we found a stone box. We got quite excited about it and dug carefully around it, and by some unseen power it slipped back into the hill.” - Martin Harris, One of the Three Witnesses, Scribe to Joseph Smith, Book of Mormon Financier
The Last Testimony of Martin Harris, The Instructor, October 1930, Vol 65, No 10
Some scholars say historical records point to discrepancies with the official church history. How do you reconcile the differences? And what is the church's position on historical scholarship? "Well, we have nothing to hide. Our history is an open book. They may find what they are looking for, but the fact is the history of the church is clear and open and leads to faith and strength and virtues." - Gordon B. Hinckley, LDS Church President
Answering Associated Press questions about the LDS Church, Dec 25, 2005
The BITE™ Model of Authoritarian control is a framework to identify and analyze the ways cults and other high-control groups manipulate their members with mind control or undue influence.
BITE stands for Behavior, Information, Thought, and Emotional control.
Thought Control focuses on psychological techniques used by such groups to shape beliefs and attitudes, suppressing critical thinking and promoting conformity.
Information control examines the tactics manipulative organizations use such as censorship and propaganda, restricting members’ access to outside perspectives.
Emotional Control explores how these groups manipulate emotions, fostering dependency and loyalty through guilt, and fear-based indoctrination.
B: Behavior control explores how manipulative groups dominate actions and behaviors through strict rules, rewards, and punishments, limiting individual autonomy.
"The victim must do all in his or her power to stop the abuse. Most often, the victim is innocent because of being disabled by fear or the power or authority of the offender. At some point in time, however, the Lord may prompt a victim to recognize a degree of responsibility for abuse. Your priesthood leader will help assess your responsibility so that, if needed, it can be addressed. Otherwise the seeds of guilt will remain and sprout into bitter fruit. Yet no matter what degree of responsibility, from absolutely none to increasing consent, the healing power of the atonement of Jesus Christ can provide a complete cure." - Elder Richard G. Scott, Healing the Tragic Scars of Abuse, General Conference April 1992
"Even in a forced contact such as rape or incest, the injured one is greatly outraged. If she has not cooperated and contributed to the foul deed, she is of course in a more favorable position. There is no condemnation where there is no voluntary participation. It is better to die in defending one's virtue than to live having lost it without a struggle." - Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness, 1969
"It is better to die in defending one's virtue than to live having lost it without a struggle." - Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness, 1969
"I am proposing that dissonance, that is, the existence of non-fitting relations among cognitions, is a motivating factor in its own right. By the term cognition, I mean any knowledge, opinion, or belief about the environment, about oneself, or about one's behavior. Cognitive dissonance can be seen as an antecedent condition that leads to activity oriented toward dissonance reduction, just as hunger leads to activity oriented toward hunger reduction." - Leon Festinger, A Theory of Cognitive Dissonance, 1957
"People can hold very strong core beliefs. When they are presented with evidence that works against that belief, the evidence
cannot be accepted. It creates an extremely uncomfortable feeling
called cognitive dissonance. It is so important to protect these
core beliefs that people will rationalize, ignore, and even deny
any information that doesn't fit within their core belief." Cognitive Dissonance
"The existance of dissonance, being psychologically uncomfortable, will motivate the person to try to reduce the dissonance and achieve consonance. When dissonance is present, in addition to trying to reduce it, the person will actively avoid situations and information which would likely increase the dissonance." - Leon Festinger, A Theory of Cognitive Dissonance, 1957
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If you saw a thirsty man drinking water from a well you knew to be poisoned, would you let him continue to drink or would you guide him to a safe well?
