But therapy and many long, raw talks with my husband have helped. I have come to the realization that we all have confirmation bias, and ultimately most of our beliefs are just that–ideas that we come up with to make ourselves feel better or to motivate ourselves. So now my new journey is examining my beliefs and deciding which ones serve me and which don’t.
It's really effing hard to live your whole life with certainty and then to come to the realization that it's all an illusion.
After serving in every ward & stake ecclesiastical position my shelf collapsed over the truth claims.
For many reasons, people often choose to leave quietly or feel they have to go it alone. But if you are having doubts or are contemplating leaving the church, I know it can be scary and it can be so lonely–I’d recommend finding at least one safe person you trust that you can confide in! I took the plunge and reached out to people that I knew had left and it was comforting to swap stories. The main reason I’m choosing to share my journey publicly now is that I want people to know they’re not alone, and there’s no shame in following your own path; there’s actually a ton of joy in it :)
Being half-black, learning about the church's doctrines, revelations, and policies of racism hurt me deeply; they were incredibly personal. I had never personally felt the sting and shame of racism in my life, until I felt it through the Mormon church.
If you’re struggling in the church or contemplating leaving, You’re not alone! For the past year I have been very cautious about who I shared news of my leaving with, as I don’t want to hurt or offend anyone, cause rifts, or invite debate or reactivation efforts. But as the news has slowly trickled out, I have been amazed by the number of Mormon friends I have who have confided in me that they have also left the church.