How many mormons does it take to change a light bulb? Two, One to change it and one to say nothing was changed.
My daughter was on a mission and watching her suffer was one of the catalysts to start questioning everything I thought I knew was true. I left the church while my daughter was serving a mission. I was a mormon.
My mom's patriarchal blessing said she would live to see her children grow to adulthood if she was faithful. She was very faithful and she died from cancer when I was 17 and my sisters were 14, 12 and 10. I was told God needed her but so did we. My heart was broken and could only be kept together if I could be with her again so I remained faithful.
In desperation, I attended a woman's retreat in Wyoming. I went alone and didn't know anyone. One night, a woman was talking and she said the words that would change my life. "If you are carrying something and it's hurting you, you can let it go. I am giving you permission to let it go." Let it go? I could do that?
I don't know what I believe about diety (and I am a-ok with that) but I won't be a part of organized religion again. I find spirituality in nature and within myself and with those I love.
I'd been serving in the stake yw for 2 years and the frustration and anger had been building because of the lack of representation and the inequality I saw at that level of leadership.
I knew in my heart that I had tried everything to make the church work for me and it was now time to let it go. So I did.
My daughter was the first person in our families to ever serve a mission. She'd chosen to serve a mission so she could teach people that they were loved by god and to serve people. She was quickly learning in the MTC that the mission was much more about rules and obedience and judgement and numbers. She was sure that once she got out into the mission field that everything would be different but it wasn't.
My 16 year old son came out as gay. We celebrated and loved him but he came home from church in tears most Sundays. We told him he was perfect exactly how he was but at church he heard that in God's eyes, he was not.
For the next 10 months I tried to make sense of it all. I felt so lost and broken and lonely and angry.
My daughter was on a mission and watching her suffer was one of the catalysts to start questioning everything I thought I knew was true. I left the church while my daughter was serving a mission. I was a mormon.
"As someone who was raised in the church since birth in 1955, the first time I ever heard about that damn rock in the hat was when I read it in the gospel topic essays in May of 2021. Yes, I was 66 years old. I had taught every lesson in every auxiliary, been president of primary (twice), YW (twice), relief society, taught seminary and had NEVER heard of it. Never! It was a huge crack in my heavy shelf. I absolutely hated the explanation given by RMN in the video for primary children saying the rock was like a cell phone - words would appear on it. It made me so angry!" A member experiences feelings of anger when the church continues to gaslight about peep stones.
The purpose of Church research is to gather reliable information to support the deliberations of general Church leaders.
You can leave the mormon church, but you can’t leave it alone. - Bishop Glenn Pace, Second Counselor in the Presiding Bishopric in General Conference April 1989
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints - hyphenated and even though in all-caps, with a lower case 'd' in Latter-day.
If false, [The Book of Mormon] is one of most cunning, wicked, bold, deep-laid impositions ever palmed upon the world, calculated to deceive and ruin millions who will sincerely receive it as the word of God, and will suppose themselves securely built upon the rock of truth until they are with their families into hopeless despair. - Orson Pratt, Mormon Apostle
If after a rigid examination, it be found an imposition, it should be extensively published as such; the evidence and arguments on which the imposture was detected, should be clearly and logically stated, that those who have been sincerely yet unfortunately deceived may perceive the nature of the deception and be reclaimed, and that those who continue to publish the delusion, may be silenced.
Now I live for today. Life is too precious to waste time serving an unseen god. I believe in having fun and being nice.
This led to my discovery of so much nastiness cluttering up nearly every aspect of the church. It was only a few months of revealing these truths to my wife before she joined me in post Mormon happiness.
I jumped straight past issues in the church and went full atheist. This caused close to a decade of contention with my then active wife. I started listening to podcasts on mixed faith marriages in an attempt to better understand my wife.
Raised in the church. Served a mission at 19. Married within months of my faithful return. I was a mormon.
One day, a news article popped up on my feed showing the church’s sexual abuse reporting policy was directly protecting and covering up sexual abuse and the offenders. I was able to corroborate, and know that the church has an ongoing history of practicing loose regard of sexual abusers, as well as cover up of such atrocities. Finally, in my privileged eyes I could no longer deny: the net result of the church was bad. My shelf broke.
My exit has brought me so much peace and happiness, despite the difficulties that come with the paradigm shift. I now am free to love everyone. I did not resign so I could enjoy the “pleasures of the flesh.” I resigned in hope that my children can now be better people outside of an organization that lets racism, sexism, bigotry, and anti-intellectualism fly under the banner of God.
I am ashamed that, as a white American male, I have been so privileged that I have not realized all this sooner. I had turned a blind eye, followed indoctrination, believed in teachings that created a systematic culture of abuse, inequality, hatred, suppression, and anti-love. I had to get out. I had to remove all association I held with the church. Since then I have learned so, so much more. The lies seem to never end. And today I stand happy, prouder of myself than I have been in a long time. With a clear conscience, my affiliation with the destructive organization comes to an end. I now disavow the church and its hateful teachings. I do not disavow the members.
I had four people, who stand out as individuals I respect deeply, come to their own conclusions that the church wasn’t true. They left the church with their families. Knowing these individuals to be of excellent character and moral fiber, I wanted to understand more the reasons beyond their decisions. In a desire to respectfully understand their motivations, I researched them. Through this I discovered the exmormon subreddit, Mormon Stories, Mormonverse, CES letter, Rough Stone Rolling, and others. I skimmed over the information I found. I faithfully never delved too deep…just enough to understand and respect where they were coming from. This put a lot on my shelf. A lot I could not resolve.
I decided to use my strong faith as another support for my shelf. In fact, it became the dust cloth for my shelf. Everything on it was covered over with my faith. I wouldn’t have to look at it. I could not deny the feelings I had had. In addition to that, I saw the net result of the church as good.
I finally knew that the church belittled women and minorities, fought against basic human rights, hurt those seeking comfort, harbored and enabled sexual abusers, and lent to the systematic oppression of anything and anyone that would threaten its doctrine, image, financials, or reach.
The first item I can recall putting on my shelf was the church’s stance on LGBT marriage rights. On my mission the only items I remember placing on my shelf were temple new names not being unique or special but given on a schedule, polygamy, and the fact that prophets are not called by revelation but instead by order of entry into the quorum of the 12.
I had four people, who stand out as individuals I respect deeply, come to their own conclusions that the church wasn’t true. They left the church with their families. Knowing these individuals to be of excellent character and moral fiber, I wanted to understand more the reasons beyond their decisions. In a desire to respectfully understand their motivations, I researched them. Through this I discovered the exmormon subreddit, Mormon Stories, Mormonverse, CES letter, Rough Stone Rolling, and others. I skimmed over the information I found. I faithfully never delved too deep…just enough to understand and respect where they were coming from. This put a lot on my shelf. A lot I could not resolve.
The information I found that disturbed me most was and is all sourced and available through church talks, scriptures, messages, and document scans. Nothing on my shelf was from an anonymous source, but instead from the lord’s anointed.