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The first item I can recall putting on my shelf was the church’s stance on LGBT marriage rights. On my mission the only items I remember placing on my shelf were temple new names not being unique or special but given on a schedule, polygamy, and the fact that prophets are not called by revelation but instead by order of entry into the quorum of the 12.
The first item I can recall putting on my shelf was the church’s stance on LGBT marriage rights. On my mission the only items I remember placing on my shelf were temple new names not being unique or special but given on a schedule, polygamy, and the fact that prophets are not called by revelation but instead by order of entry into the quorum of the 12.
I had four people, who stand out as individuals I respect deeply, come to their own conclusions that the church wasn’t true. They left the church with their families. Knowing these individuals to be of excellent character and moral fiber, I wanted to understand more the reasons beyond their decisions. In a desire to respectfully understand their motivations, I researched them. Through this I discovered the exmormon subreddit, Mormon Stories, Mormonverse, CES letter, Rough Stone Rolling, and others. I skimmed over the information I found. I faithfully never delved too deep…just enough to understand and respect where they were coming from. This put a lot on my shelf. A lot I could not resolve.
I had four people, who stand out as individuals I respect deeply, come to their own conclusions that the church wasn’t true. They left the church with their families. Knowing these individuals to be of excellent character and moral fiber, I wanted to understand more the reasons beyond their decisions. In a desire to respectfully understand their motivations, I researched them. Through this I discovered the exmormon subreddit, Mormon Stories, Mormonverse, CES letter, Rough Stone Rolling, and others. I skimmed over the information I found. I faithfully never delved too deep…just enough to understand and respect where they were coming from. This put a lot on my shelf. A lot I could not resolve.
There's a point where there are just too many things that cannot be comfortably answered, too much weighing that shelf down, and eventually something comes along that is so offensive to our good senses, something that defies our logic, compassion, feelings, understanding, and knowledge more than we can reconcile, and the shelf then breaks.
There's a point where there are just too many things that cannot be comfortably answered, too much weighing that shelf down, and eventually something comes along that is so offensive to our good senses, something that defies our logic, compassion, feelings, understanding, and knowledge more than we can reconcile, and the shelf then breaks.
I was fully active, paid a full tithe, served a voluntary 2 year mission for the church in Brazil, attended a church university, and lived in statistically the most Mormon town in the world for most of my life. I never drank, smoke, swore, or had premarital sex. I ended some wonderful, wholesome relationships based on advice in The Miracle of Forgiveness. I married in the temple, prayed and studied scripture daily, attended the temple regularly, and lived a fully active, faithful life. I was a mormon. Now I am free to love everyone and be my best self.
I was fully active, paid a full tithe, served a voluntary 2 year mission for the church in Brazil, attended a church university, and lived in statistically the most Mormon town in the world for most of my life. I never drank, smoke, swore, or had premarital sex. I ended some wonderful, wholesome relationships based on advice in The Miracle of Forgiveness. I married in the temple, prayed and studied scripture daily, attended the temple regularly, and lived a fully active, faithful life. I was a mormon. Now I am free to love everyone and be my best self.
As seniors my husband and I served a mission to Capetown, South Africa. On our second day in the country, we were involved in a road accident in the mission's Volkswagen van. We were passengers in the back seat and received the worst injuries. My husband's neck was broken, my back and many other bones. We had cuts and bruising everywhere.
As seniors my husband and I served a mission to Capetown, South Africa. On our second day in the country, we were involved in a road accident in the mission's Volkswagen van. We were passengers in the back seat and received the worst injuries. My husband's neck was broken, my back and many other bones. We had cuts and bruising everywhere.
I could not settle into the old way of life knowing that people in Africa were hungry, needed education and jobs, so we raised money and went back to our old mission area to give out micro loans for people to start their own businesses. WHY doesn't the church do that?
I could not settle into the old way of life knowing that people in Africa were hungry, needed education and jobs, so we raised money and went back to our old mission area to give out micro loans for people to start their own businesses. WHY doesn't the church do that?
GOD DIDN'T PROTECT US. We were wearing our temple garment underwear, we were being faithful by serving a mission and yet... I didn't give up on the church over that of course but it did begin a series of questions about why and why God seemed to have abandoned Africa
GOD DIDN'T PROTECT US. We were wearing our temple garment underwear, we were being faithful by serving a mission and yet... I didn't give up on the church over that of course but it did begin a series of questions about why and why God seemed to have abandoned Africa
I was not taught to think critically and was trained in religious thought by my school and the Church of England. I believed in 'God' and thought that everyone else believed in the same way. I was excited when as a young wife and mother of two small children the missionaries from the Mormon Church knocked on our door and proceeded to teach us about 'true religion'. We joined and later moved to Canada.
I was not taught to think critically and was trained in religious thought by my school and the Church of England. I believed in 'God' and thought that everyone else believed in the same way. I was excited when as a young wife and mother of two small children the missionaries from the Mormon Church knocked on our door and proceeded to teach us about 'true religion'. We joined and later moved to Canada.
My second son left the church and I wanted to know why. He shared what information he had about the history of the church and before too long, I had read all of that and so much more. It was a terrible time for me and I felt quite suicidal. I didn't know who I was if, after 39 years, I was no longer 'Sister Bodie', the bishop's wife, the branch president's wife, the seminary teacher etc.
My second son left the church and I wanted to know why. He shared what information he had about the history of the church and before too long, I had read all of that and so much more. It was a terrible time for me and I felt quite suicidal. I didn't know who I was if, after 39 years, I was no longer 'Sister Bodie', the bishop's wife, the branch president's wife, the seminary teacher etc.
The shelf breaking is a demoralizing, crushing experience. What hurt the most was the feeling that I had nowhere to turn. Looking back I see the extreme cultural pressure on people to stay active, to "stay in the boat", to stay away from "anti-mormon" influences. This builds an unhealthy community of fear, judgment, and shame for anyone who feels on the fringes. What's worse is this is the community that I had given everything to. Feeling betrayed about the control of information was hard, but feeling like the community I gave my life to had no place for me was even worse.
The shelf breaking is a demoralizing, crushing experience. What hurt the most was the feeling that I had nowhere to turn. Looking back I see the extreme cultural pressure on people to stay active, to "stay in the boat", to stay away from "anti-mormon" influences. This builds an unhealthy community of fear, judgment, and shame for anyone who feels on the fringes. What's worse is this is the community that I had given everything to. Feeling betrayed about the control of information was hard, but feeling like the community I gave my life to had no place for me was even worse.