Monthly Archives: March 2025

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Fast forward a few years. I was busy with work, marriage, small kids and callings and my shelf items had only grown. I had come to dread attending the temple, especially the endowment. I didn't understand what the rituals had to do with Jesus and the atonement and didn’t feel I was getting revelation when I attended, despite my earnest attempts to do so. I had also started independently reading and studying a lot about 19th-century American history and world history generally, and it led to more and more things bothering me about the Book of Mormon. There were so many obvious anachronisms, 19th-century ideas, and disproven racist teachings. The race issues were especially vexing to me. While many Christians had believed the racist dark skin curse nonsense, It was only MY religion's perfect and undiluted scriptures that had canonized it. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
Fast forward a few years. I was busy with work, marriage, small kids and callings and my shelf items had only grown. I had come to dread attending the temple, especially the endowment. I didn't understand what the rituals had to do with Jesus and the atonement and didn’t feel I was getting revelation when I attended, despite my earnest attempts to do so. I had also started independently reading and studying a lot about 19th-century American history and world history generally, and it led to more and more things bothering me about the Book of Mormon. There were so many obvious anachronisms, 19th-century ideas, and disproven racist teachings. The race issues were especially vexing to me. While many Christians had believed the racist dark skin curse nonsense, It was only MY religion's perfect and undiluted scriptures that had canonized it. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
On my mission I first felt a ping of shame about belonging to the Church. We'd pressured a young black man into getting baptized quickly, only to have him approach us a few days later and ask about the priesthood ban. He said his family told him some crazy stuff about how our church used to treat black people. I still remember how awful it felt to have to tell him that it was true and try to dance around it and gloss over it. He walked away and I never saw or heard from him again. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
On my mission I first felt a ping of shame about belonging to the Church. We'd pressured a young black man into getting baptized quickly, only to have him approach us a few days later and ask about the priesthood ban. He said his family told him some crazy stuff about how our church used to treat black people. I still remember how awful it felt to have to tell him that it was true and try to dance around it and gloss over it. He walked away and I never saw or heard from him again. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
I loved the Bible. The Book of Mormon, on the other hand, had some nice verses that I would quote, but reading it felt incredibly tedious. It sounded nothing like the writing in the Old Testament during the same period. The BoM prophets spoke like 19th-century American Protestant preachers. They gave almost zero attention to the mosaic law and focused instead on post-Calvinist ideas like grace and works and the evils of infant baptism—even referring to Jesus by name — hundreds of years before anyone would care about these topics. The biggest question for me at the time, though, was why it didn’t mention so many important gospel concepts: temple ordinances, eternal families, the three degrees of glory, the Melchizedek priesthood, polygamy, and all the things we were teaching people about. They were scarcely anywhere to be found in the “most correct of any book on earth” — but I just shelved my concerns. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
I loved the Bible. The Book of Mormon, on the other hand, had some nice verses that I would quote, but reading it felt incredibly tedious. It sounded nothing like the writing in the Old Testament during the same period. The BoM prophets spoke like 19th-century American Protestant preachers. They gave almost zero attention to the mosaic law and focused instead on post-Calvinist ideas like grace and works and the evils of infant baptism—even referring to Jesus by name — hundreds of years before anyone would care about these topics. The biggest question for me at the time, though, was why it didn’t mention so many important gospel concepts: temple ordinances, eternal families, the three degrees of glory, the Melchizedek priesthood, polygamy, and all the things we were teaching people about. They were scarcely anywhere to be found in the “most correct of any book on earth” — but I just shelved my concerns. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
I somehow miraculously escaped the worst of my legal troubles. I believed God had personally intervened in my life and, as a show of gratitude, I committed myself to him the best I could for two years. I genuinely believed what I was selling would help everyone. After I came home, I met my spouse and best friend after a few years, got married, and we both finished up our degrees before we started having kids. All was going well externally, but, under the surface, my faith problems were growing. While, overall, my mission was a great experience, there were some things I learned and experienced about my faith that started to bother me. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
I somehow miraculously escaped the worst of my legal troubles. I believed God had personally intervened in my life and, as a show of gratitude, I committed myself to him the best I could for two years. I genuinely believed what I was selling would help everyone. After I came home, I met my spouse and best friend after a few years, got married, and we both finished up our degrees before we started having kids. All was going well externally, but, under the surface, my faith problems were growing. While, overall, my mission was a great experience, there were some things I learned and experienced about my faith that started to bother me. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
There were definitely lots of times where I didn’t want to do what the church expected of me as a kid, but I usually bucked up and did it because I knew it was the right thing to do. I wasn’t very excited to go on a mission but knew it was what God and my family expected of me. I was trying to dutifully read the Book of Mormon and really pray to get an answer about whether or not it was true, but I wasn't getting any spiritual confirmations of note. About 6 weeks before I was scheduled to enter the MTC, my mischievous youth caught up with me and I found myself in trouble with the law. I prayed and fasted harder than I ever had in my life. I promised God that if he got me out of this pickle, I would consecrate my life to him. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
There were definitely lots of times where I didn’t want to do what the church expected of me as a kid, but I usually bucked up and did it because I knew it was the right thing to do. I wasn’t very excited to go on a mission but knew it was what God and my family expected of me. I was trying to dutifully read the Book of Mormon and really pray to get an answer about whether or not it was true, but I wasn't getting any spiritual confirmations of note. About 6 weeks before I was scheduled to enter the MTC, my mischievous youth caught up with me and I found myself in trouble with the law. I prayed and fasted harder than I ever had in my life. I promised God that if he got me out of this pickle, I would consecrate my life to him. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
I was born into an LDS family and born and raised in Texas. I love good music, good food, skiing, and spending time with my spouse and crazy kids. My whole life I believed the church was true because I didn’t have any good reason not to. I was raised in a good home with loving parents and a really strong extended family on both sides. I was a Mormon. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
I was born into an LDS family and born and raised in Texas. I love good music, good food, skiing, and spending time with my spouse and crazy kids. My whole life I believed the church was true because I didn’t have any good reason not to. I was raised in a good home with loving parents and a really strong extended family on both sides. I was a Mormon. - Kendall's "I was a Mormon" story. Read more at https://wasmormon.org/profile/kendall/
“When people say, well, what do you do with all that money? Well, there's an episode in the Old Testament about Joseph, who interpreted a dream for the Pharaoh that there were seven years of plenty and seven years of famine. And in the years of plenty, you better prepare for the years of famine. So people want to speculate about the size of the reserve and all that kind of stuff... I think it would be imprudent and unwise not to have a reserve.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner Silicon Slopes Summit, September 28, 2023 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video, February 27, 2025 | wasmormon.org
“When people say, well, what do you do with all that money? Well, there's an episode in the Old Testament about Joseph, who interpreted a dream for the Pharaoh that there were seven years of plenty and seven years of famine. And in the years of plenty, you better prepare for the years of famine. So people want to speculate about the size of the reserve and all that kind of stuff... I think it would be imprudent and unwise not to have a reserve.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner, Silicon Slopes Summit,September 28, 2023, 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video, February 27, 2025
"Only a tiny fraction of the money is actually spent on charity. This Welfare Services Fact Sheet lists the Mormon church’s humanitarian efforts in 2011 which, on closer inspection, are not the institutional church’s achievements at all but mainly free labour provided by church members to church businesses." - Mormonism 101, Independent information about the Church based on verifiable sources and 34 years of active and committed church membership: The Corporate Structure of the Mormon church | wasmormon.org
"Only a tiny fraction of the money is actually spent on charity. This Welfare Services Fact Sheet lists the Mormon church’s humanitarian efforts in 2011 which, on closer inspection, are not the institutional church’s achievements at all but mainly free labour provided by church members to church businesses." - Mormonism 101, Independent information about the Church based on verifiable sources and 34 years of active and committed church membership: The Corporate Structure of the Mormon church
“They're not passing a plate, or collecting money in local congregations. That's all done through the tithes that the members of the church pay all over the world. But you've got fixed costs in the maintenance, the utilities, all of those things for all of those buildings... You don't have to be an accountant to figure out those are some big dollars.” - “[To] the people who want to tell us how to spend the money, I would just emphasize one undergirding principle. The assets of the church are primarily income consuming; they are not income producing.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner Silicon Slopes Summit, September 28, 2023, 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video, February 27, 2025 | wasmormon.org
“They're not passing a plate, or collecting money in local congregations. That's all done through the tithes that the members of the church pay all over the world. But you've got fixed costs in the maintenance, the utilities, all of those things for all of those buildings... You don't have to be an accountant to figure out those are some big dollars.” - “[To] the people who want to tell us how to spend the money, I would just emphasize one undergirding principle. The assets of the church are primarily income consuming; they are not income producing.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner Silicon Slopes Summit, September 28, 2023, 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video, February 27, 2025
What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money? [Regarding the leaked Ensign Peak Advisors managed reserves of surplus tithing amounting to hundreds of billions of dollars] You're getting a lot of heat for people telling you how to spend the money of the church. How do you think about that or how can others really understand the scale of this? “I think it would be imprudent and unwise not to have a reserve.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner, Silicon Slopes Summit, September 28, 2023, 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video, February 27, 2025 | wasmormon.org
What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money? [Regarding the leaked Ensign Peak Advisors managed reserves of surplus tithing amounting to hundreds of billions of dollars] You're getting a lot of heat for people telling you how to spend the money of the church. How do you think about that or how can others really understand the scale of this? “I think it would be imprudent and unwise not to have a reserve.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner, Silicon Slopes Summit, September 28, 2023, 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video, February 27, 2025
“[To] the people who want to tell us how to spend the money, I would just emphasize one undergirding principle. The assets of the church are primarily income consuming; they are not income producing.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner Silicon Slopes Summit, September 28, 2023 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video | wasmormon.org
“[To] the people who want to tell us how to spend the money, I would just emphasize one undergirding principle. The assets of the church are primarily income consuming; they are not income producing.” - David A. Bednar, LDS Apostle & Ryan Smith, Qualtrics/Utah Jazz Owner Silicon Slopes Summit, September 28, 2023 'What Does the Church Do With Tithing Money?' Church Video

Lilburn Boggs’ Extermination Order and Mormon War

The Mormon-Missouri War (1838) was a conflict between the Mormon settlers in Missouri and their non-Mormon neighbors, culminating in violent clashes, forced expulsions, and the infamous Missouri Executive Order 44, also known as the so-called “Extermination Order.” While the Mormon Church often portrays itself as the innocent victim of religious persecution, the historical reality is …

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“We will follow them till the last drop of their blood is spilled, or else they will have to exterminate us: for we will carry the seat of war to their own houses, and their own families, and one party or the other shall be utterly destroyed.” - Sidney Rigdon, July 4 1838, Far West Missouri - Precedes the Mormon Extermination Order, or Executive Order 44 Missouri Governor Lilburn Boggs on October 27, 1838 | wasmormon.org
“We will follow them till the last drop of their blood is spilled, or else they will have to exterminate us: for we will carry the seat of war to their own houses, and their own families, and one party or the other shall be utterly destroyed.” - Sidney Rigdon, July 4 1838, Far West Missouri - Precedes the Mormon Extermination Order, or Executive Order 44 Missouri Governor Lilburn Boggs on October 27, 1838
“Our rights shall no more be trampled on with impunity. The man or the set of men, who attempts it, does it at the expense of their lives. And that mob that comes on us to disturb us; it shall be between us and them a war of extermination.” - Sidney Rigdon, July 4 1838, Far West Missouri - Precedes the Mormon Extermination Order, or Executive Order 44 Missouri Governor Lilburn Boggs on October 27, 1838 | wasmormon.org
“Our rights shall no more be trampled on with impunity. The man or the set of men, who attempts it, does it at the expense of their lives. And that mob that comes on us to disturb us; it shall be between us and them a war of extermination.” - Sidney Rigdon, July 4 1838, Far West Missouri - Precedes the Mormon Extermination Order, or Executive Order 44 Missouri Governor Lilburn Boggs on October 27, 1838
“I have received by one of my aids, information of the most appalling character, which entirely changes the face of things, and places the Mormons in the attitude of an open and avowed defiance of the laws, and of having made war upon the people of this state. Your orders are, therefore, to hasten your operation with all possible speed. The Mormons must be treated as enemies, and must be exterminated or driven from the state if necessary for the public peace—their outrages are beyond all description.” - Missouri Executive Order 44 or "Mormon Extermination Order" Governor Lilburn Boggs, October 27, 1838 | wasmormon.org
“I have received by one of my aids, information of the most appalling character, which entirely changes the face of things, and places the Mormons in the attitude of an open and avowed defiance of the laws, and of having made war upon the people of this state. Your orders are, therefore, to hasten your operation with all possible speed. The Mormons must be treated as enemies, and must be exterminated or driven from the state if necessary for the public peace—their outrages are beyond all description.” - Missouri Executive Order 44 or "Mormon Extermination Order" Governor Lilburn Boggs, October 27, 1838

Life Beyond Mormonism: 10 Books and Resources That Might Help

Stepping away from a faith tradition—especially one that touches every aspect of life like Mormonism—can be both liberating and disorienting. If you’re navigating this path, you’re not alone. Many individuals have documented their experiences, researched the history, and formed supportive communities. Below are books and resources that countless people have found helpful in understanding Mormonism’s …

Continue reading “Life Beyond Mormonism: 10 Books and Resources That Might Help”

Leaving a faith tradition like Mormonism, which influences nearly every aspect of life, can be both liberating and disorienting. If you're navigating this path, know that you are not alone. Many of us have documented the journey, explored the history, and formed supportive communities along the way. Find connection and understanding in a community that recognizes the emotional and social challenges of transitioning away from the LDS Church. Find the support you need and explore hundreds of faith transition stories at wasmormon.org.
Leaving a faith tradition like Mormonism, which influences nearly every aspect of life, can be both liberating and disorienting. If you're navigating this path, know that you are not alone. Many of us have documented the journey, explored the history, and formed supportive communities along the way. Find connection and understanding in a community that recognizes the emotional and social challenges of transitioning away from the LDS Church. Find the support you need and explore hundreds of faith transition stories at wasmormon.org.
"In our learning, let us not neglect the fountain of revelation. The scriptures and the words of modern-day apostles and prophets are the sources of wisdom, divine knowledge, and personal revelation to help us find answers to all the challenges in life. Let us learn of Christ; let us seek out that knowledge which leads to peace, truth, and the sublime mysteries of eternity." Dieter F. Uchtdorf, LDS Apostle, General Conference, October 2009 | wasmormon.org
"In our learning, let us not neglect the fountain of revelation. The scriptures and the words of modern-day apostles and prophets are the sources of wisdom, divine knowledge, and personal revelation to help us find answers to all the challenges in life. Let us learn of Christ; let us seek out that knowledge which leads to peace, truth, and the sublime mysteries of eternity." Dieter F. Uchtdorf, LDS Apostle, General Conference, October 2009
"Suppose you found your brother in bed with your wife, and put a javelin through both of them, you would be justified, and they would atone for their sins, and be received into the kingdom of God. I would at once do so in such a case; and under such circumstances, I have no wife whom I love so well that I would not put a javelin through her heart, and I would do it with clean hands." - Brigham Young, Mormon Prophet, Salt Lake City, March 16, 1856 Journal Of Discourses, Volume 3, Discourse 35 | wasmormon.org
"Suppose you found your brother in bed with your wife, and put a javelin through both of them, you would be justified, and they would atone for their sins, and be received into the kingdom of God. I would at once do so in such a case; and under such circumstances, I have no wife whom I love so well that I would not put a javelin through her heart, and I would do it with clean hands." - Brigham Young, Mormon Prophet, Salt Lake City, March 16, 1856 Journal Of Discourses, Volume 3, Discourse 35