"In the early twentieth century, Able’s status as a black priesthood holder was largely forgotten. Historians later rediscovered the story of Able’s ordination, his faith in the restored gospel, and his service as an early missionary." Church History Topics: Elijah Able, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
License for Elijah Able, 31 March 1836, p. 61, The Joseph Smith Papers https://www.josephsmithpapers.org/paper-summary/license-for-elijah-able-31-march-1836/1
"This certifies that Elijah Able has been received into the church of the Latter Day Saints, organized on the sixth of April, in the year of our Lord, one thousand, eight hundred & thirty, & has been ordained an Elder according to the rules & regulations of said church, & is duly authorized to preach the gospel agreeably to the authority of that Office. From the satisfactory evidence which we have of his good moral character, & his zeal for the cause of righteousness, & diligent desire to persuade men to forsake evil & embrace truth, we confidently recommend him to all candid & upright people as a worthy member of society. We, therefore in the name, & by the authority of this church, grant unto this, our worthy brother in the Lord, this letter of commendation as a proof of our fellowship & Esteem: Praying for his success & prosperity in our Redeemer’s Cause. Given by the direction of a conference of the Elders of said church, Assembled in Kirtland, Geauga County, Ohio, the third day of March, in the year of our Lord, one thousand eight hundred & thirty six. [signed] Joseph Smith Jr., March 31, 1836." - License for Elijah Able, 31 March 1836, p. 61, The Joseph Smith Papers
"How grateful I am that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has from its beginnings stood strongly against racism in any of its malignant manifestations." - Elder Alexander B Morrison, First Quorum of the Seventy
"Unfortunately, racism—the abhorrent and morally destructive theory that claims superiority of one person over another by reason of race, color, ethnicity, or cultural background—remains one of the abiding sins of societies the world over. The cause of much of the strife and conflict in the world, racism is an offense against God and a tool in the devil’s hands." - Elder Alexander B Morrison, First Quorum of the Seventy
"If you allow the people of the church to turn you against the church, then you were not worthy to be in the church in the first place" - Ezra Taft Benson, speaking to Natalie Palmer-Taylor, a black mother upset that her child was a target of a racial epithet from another member, 1988
"You keep your eyes riveted on the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. We will not lead you astray. We cannot." - Elder M Russell Ballard, Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, March 12, 1996
"If there is a despicable character on the face of the earth, it is an apostate from this Church. He is a traitor who has deceived his best friends, betrayed his trust, and forfeited every principle of honor that God placed within him. They may think they are respected, but they are not. They are disgraced in their own eyes. There is not much honesty within them; they have forfeited their heaven, sold their birth right, and betrayed their friends." - President Brigham Young, Journal of Discources 12:20
"An official Church Statement says: "On Friday evening they were having dinner together in the mission president's home when armed assailants entered the home and robbed them. We don't have complete information yet, but we understand that Sister Packard's arm was broken. In addition, she and others suffered some superficial injuries, mainly cuts and bruises. Elder and Sister Nelson will continue their assignment over the weekend as planned." - In May 2009 Elder Nelson was attacked during a visit to Africa.
"On one occasion, we were attacked by armed men with malicious intent. They announced their purpose: to kidnap her, and to kill me. After they maliciously molested us in those evil objectives, they became totally foiled. A gun to my head failed to fire. And my wife was suddenly released from their hideous grasp. Then they disappeared as quickly as they had appeared. We were mercifully rescued from potential disaster. We know we were protected by angels round about us." - In 2015, Elder Nelson retells an embellished version of the robbery.
"The leaders of the church couldn’t answer my questions and told me to keep believing. I made the decision to leave and haven’t looked back. There have been new challenges with leaving, but being able to be honest with myself has created a new found peace. I’m living in the here and now, and not living out of fear. Having the courage to break the generational Mormon chain is difficult, but allows for growth, happiness and authenticity. As a physician I’ve been trained to research and investigate, to seek truth from reliable sources. I also believe in faith, hope, honesty, transparency, justice and truth." - Daniel Johnson, https://wasmormon.org/profile/danieljohnson/
"I’m a Family Physician in Minnesota, but I grew up in Idaho in a community that was predominantly Mormon. I never questioned the historical claims of the Church and trusted all my Church leaders that what I was taught was true. All my major life decisions including family, education, and finances were heavily influenced by my desire to gain salvation by following the rules and policies of the church. I was a Mormon." - Daniel Johnson, https://wasmormon.org/profile/danieljohnson/
"I suffered from severe scrupulosity (religious OCD) and felt I was constantly a sinner. I never realized that the Church membership made up less than 0.2% of the world population, and the amount of active believers was far less than that. In my late 20s, I began reading the Church’s “Gospel Topics Essays”, and quickly began feeling uneasy with the history of the Church. I spent 5 years reading everything I could about the history of the Church, Joseph Smith, and The Book of Mormon." - Daniel Johnson, https://wasmormon.org/profile/danieljohnson/
"Having the courage to break the generational Mormon chain is difficult, but allows for growth, happiness and authenticity. As a physician I’ve been trained to research and investigate, to seek truth from reliable sources. I also believe in faith, hope, honesty, transparency, justice and truth." - Daniel Johnson, https://wasmormon.org/profile/danieljohnson/
Find Daniel's full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/danieljohnson/. There are over a hundred more stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
"I quickly realized the narrative taught in the Church is far from truthful, and doesn’t match the historical or scientific record." - Daniel Johnson, https://wasmormon.org/profile/danieljohnson/
"This lead to depression - it’s difficult to pretend to believe something you think is hurtful, especially when you fear losing your wife and children if you decide to leave the church. The Church has an undeniable history of racism and sexism. The Church has over 100 Billion in assets and gives an infinitesimally small portion to the poor." - Daniel Johnson, https://wasmormon.org/profile/danieljohnson/
"Suggestions about how to deal with my still-Mormon family? Be kind and patient. If they decide to leave, it will be on their terms. Don’t be a know-it-all, but encourage them to read and learn. I wish I would have had more guidance" - Daniel Johnson, https://wasmormon.org/profile/danieljohnson/
"I learned about confession and that any sexual sin had to be confessed to a Bishop. Like most young boys, I masturbated but I felt extremely guilty, fearful, and ashamed every time. My mind would obsess about how bad this was and that I was now one button push away from God sending me to Hell. I had to confess. The first time I went to the Bishop I engaged in some small talk and then sort of 'oh by the way' mentioned it to him; said it wasn't a problem anymore. He confirmed by asking 'but it's not a problem now' and I said no it's not. What I didn't realize was that I had felt this huge relief known as negative reinforcement, similar to compulsions and addictions providing temporary relief from emotional pain." - John, https://wasmormon.org/profile/drjohn/
"My emotional pain was not because of some reality, it was painful because of what I was taught about sex, the severe penalties, and the unconscious conclusions I made about the author of these laws and punishments. I was well on my way to a performance-driven sense of self-worth and toxic perfectionism. When I lived well, which was probably most of the time, that didn't matter. What mattered was that I did something 'wrong'. I told myself 'that's the last time' hundreds of times and my self-doubt and self-hate grew deeper with each broken promise. I was drowning in shame and thought I deserved it. This was not just a cognitive process; it was experiential, highly emotional, and triggered stress responses of 'freeze' and 'fawning'. I'd give up and feel discouraged or run to the Bishop hoping he would forgive me. God's forgiveness wasn't a big deal to me, it was the Bishop who had the power as God's agent to act on His behalf." - John, https://wasmormon.org/profile/drjohn/
"Today, I'm learning about GRACE. Grace makes unconditional, unselfish love the highest value and obedience is not to a system; it's not outside-in or in reaction to fear of punishment or hope for reward (external motivation). Grace and love show us who God is, who we are, and that all people have great worth. Faith in Christ is central, not an organization or prophet. If our paradigm of God changes from an authoritarian God to a charitable God, we can see ourselves differently and want to live differently - acting freely and not being compelled." - John, https://wasmormon.org/profile/drjohn/
"I was scripted, programmed. The software of my head was installed because I didn't have the expertise or knowledge to write the program like prophets. They knew what was best for me. I was a nervous kid as far as I remember but anxiety when to a whole new level in my experiences with the church." - John, https://wasmormon.org/profile/drjohn/
"I felt a warm feeling when I learned that God appeared in these last days and would actually visit a young boy. The picture and the story created a feeling of comfort and awe. I was baptized shortly thereafter. I felt at home. The church gave me certainty; a turnkey franchise to Heaven - exclusive distribution of salvation, knowledge, and priesthood power. No other churches could do this for me. I had it made. I felt safe." - John, https://wasmormon.org/profile/drjohn/
"My mission took anxiety to a whole new level. I didn't want to burn up with guilt or be unworthy. This was the beginning of OCD - the pathological kind, not the movie kind! When I was in the mission field, I obsessed every day about sin and worthiness. I never felt worthy enough. I suffered terribly." - John, https://wasmormon.org/profile/drjohn/
"I grew up in the Catholic Church and converted to Mormonism when I was 14. I'm a graduate business professor. I seek truth more than highly emotional convictions found in religion. I was a mormon." - John, https://wasmormon.org/profile/drjohn/
"These are some of my experiences with the Mormon brand. Some will blame my OCD and yes, that played some role but let's look at the authoritarian leadership style, the 'always right' hierarchical decisions, the high-control 'systems' like mandatory confession for forgiveness, courts of love, temple marriage in order to be with family, and control over knowledge and learning not approved by First Presidency." - John, https://wasmormon.org/profile/drjohn/
Find John's full story at https://wasmormon.org/profile/drjohn/. There are over a hundred more stories of Mormon faith journeys contributed by users like you. Come check them out and consider sharing your own story at wasmormon.org!
"The certainty I was given also became my comfort zone. It wasn't until many years later that I realized how I limited my personal vision of what life could be because I didn't realize I needed more than these prescribed steps to Heaven. Life was more than salvation and safety. I was living in Pleasantville and wanted to please my fellow members and local leaders. I was codependent before I knew what that meant." - John, https://wasmormon.org/profile/drjohn/
"The Brethren, as they are sometimes referred to, appeal rather to faith and prayer over real world evidence (or lack thereof) as the ultimate authority to determine the authenticity of the Book of Mormon. In actuality, they really don't have much of a choice. In this they are safe since subjective methods of faith and prayer cannot be scientifically scrutinized. Which begs the question; why have Book of Mormon apologists in the first place?" - Tom Donofrio | https://wasmormon.org/profile/thomasdonofrio/