Hi, I'm Zac.
I enjoy cuddling with puppies and doing peoples hair. I love self help books and am on a mission of self discovery. I was a Mormon.
I was devout all through my adolescence. I am an eagle scout, I went to mutual every Wednesday, I even lead the youth choir at one point. I believed everything I was taught from the pulpit and I think that was my biggest downfall. I had no reason to research other churches or see why people disliked the LDS church so much, because I believed the bishops when they said to never read ex Mormon literature. I was Mormon through and through, I just had one secret. I am gay and was denying it from the age of 5. When I began expressing that to bishops and other leaders that is when I realized I was going to have a rocky road if I tried staying in the church. I did try for a while but then I did my research and I realized I was just doing it for everyone's comfort. I was done living for everyone's comfort. I had done that my whole life.
Why I left
I always made sure I appeared the way I was taught to be, but deep down there was a piece of me I couldn't put into words or thoughts. I was in denial of my sexuality and continued to listen to church teachings and I began to demonize myself. It was a struggle because I 100% believed the teachings I was conditioned to believe/know. I knew nothing else. I finally began blogging around the time I was supposed to go on a mission and that's when I really began to find myself. Later on I found the CES letter and that really opened my eyes and I realized I had just been conditioned my whole life. I hadn't had my own thoughts or beliefs yet. I have finally began finding myself.
If you are interested, my blog is www.talesofananxioussoul.blogspot.com
I started blogging before I left the church so its cool to see the evolution from the beginning. I hope I am able to help at least one person in their faith transition. <3
Questions I've answered
You’re not Mormon anymore. Why? What’s your relationship with faith now?
Being a Mormon caused me to see the world with an "us vs them" mentality. If your weren't Mormon then that was fixable. I was fed the idea that you needed to be a missionary and work towards spreading the word of god to everyone. However, to me the word of God is love. Having this us vs them way of thinking creates judgement and disconnect. I have been able to see myself as an equal. I used to see myself as better then. It was easy to push other peoples problems off because their problems seemed unholy in the eyes of the LDS church. My faith is love and self discovery.