Hello, I’m Sydney.

So what happened to me?
Although it took me several years to leave, I would say my doubts started in middle school. It was at this time that I learned about the LGBTQ+ community, and I quickly became a firm ally. Which brought my next question: Why isn’t there a place for queer people in church? I asked my mom and my dad (the bishop at the time) and they both gave me the same answer: God hasn’t revealed everything he is going to reveal, so just have faith and put it on a shelf. And I did, I “doubted my doubts” and moved on.
I wasn’t happy to be in church from the point on. I made it a point to keep members of the church out of my social life, because they were too suffocating. I still served my callings and attended seminary and did the things I was supposed to. Then the summer after my sophomore year, I realized that I was actually queer myself (shocker). How was I supposed to “put it on a shelf” now? 
From this moment on, I put distance between myself on the church. I started to develop my own morals and political opinions, and synchronously started to see the many flaws of the church. But I couldn’t just forget the years and years of LDS knowledge I had, so I started digging deeper.
I did my research, from sources inside the church and out. The breaking point, as I’m sure it was for many, was the CES letter. I read it all in one night, and cried through the whole thing. Nothing had ever seemed as definitive as that did before. For one last time, I prayed more sincerely than I ever has before for an answer. Nothing. And I haven’t looked back since. I haven’t stopped researching and learning, of course, because I hope maybe my knowledge on this discourse can help other find the truth.