Hi I’m Becca
I enjoy crafting, cosplaying, and exploring. My favorite place to be is the beach. I am a domestic violence survivor. I was a Mormon.
I grew up the oldest of 5 girls in a strong Mormon family in California. I was also the only child to serve a mission.
Why I left
After my third failed attempt at an “eternal marriage”, each one ending in abuse, and an unexpected anxiety attack in the temple, I started therapy and did some deep soul searching. I found the root of my problem was the sexism that existed in the Mormon church, both cultural and doctrinal. One of my feminists friends introduced me to the gospel topic essays, and my testimony hit an iceberg, and sunk like the titanic!
Questions I've answered
This was what finally did any hopes of a testimony in. The gospel topic essays are clear in saying the papyrus is actually about a funeral, and not at all about Abraham. I can’t support that being true.
I was angered to learn Joseph Smith had over 30 wives, and the youngest was 14! I also wanted to cry when I found out how Emma was treated after discovering Joseph in the barn with another woman. They treated her like a mad woman, when any woman in her right mind would have reacted the same. I can not justify a “Man of God” treating his wife this way.
After going through a faith crisis, I didn’t know what I believed in. I didn’t even know if I believed in God anymore, but I so desperately wanted to continue to believe in Jesus. One day, the pastor of the nondenominational church I attend, shared the story of Peters doubt in Jesus during a storm. I grew up hearing phrases like “doubt your doubts”, but here he was telling me even Peter doubted Jesus at times. You mean it’s ok to doubt? The pastor told us to “Go to Jesus, and give him a chance to tell your storm to shut up”. This faith crisis is my storm.
I stared to question things a couple years prior to my faith crisis, but I shoved them down and suppressed them. I feel like everything I had suppressed surfaced at once, and I was out immediately. Transitioning out was fairly quick for me.