Hello, I'm Andrea!

I received my "first" blessing when I was a teenager (15 years old). And I have to be honest here: it was the very event that anchored me to the church for the next 25 years... 
I remember a very poignant interview with the patriarch and then a blessing that was very "promising". I really wanted every word of that blessing to come true, so I tried hard to shape my entire life around it.

Unlike many who can joyfully declare that their blessings were fulfilled, very little of mine was realized.  

Yes, I served a mission, as it stated, but I wasn't sent to "a land that is not mine" (presumably a foreign country, as promised). I was never able to explain this discrepancy, but "hey", some would say, "it doesn't matter where you serve, it matters how you serve, right?" Well... yeah, that's how I rationalized it... But this occurrence felt a lot like a revelation glitch and left the first small crack in my heart.

Also, yes, years later I got sealed in the temple to a good LDS woman, as the blessing stated, but we ended up having only one son with special needs rather than becoming the parents of multiple "children" (as promised).
We love our son dearly, but he has been so needy since his birth that every good intention or desire for another kid could never gain enough ground... When couple and family life is strained so much by a similar circumstance, it's not wise, in my opinion, to increase the load on your shoulders and run the risk of a complete breakdown. 
However, if only I could convey to you how much I wanted to raise my kids "in the light of the Gospel", you would understand how much this additional discrepancy hurt me...

Several church leaders and active members, genuinely motivated, tried to propose a reasonable explanation to the above, but none could really make sense.
Patriarchal blessings are supposedly given to guide us throughout "this life", not the next one. If we are divinely told that our life will unfold in a specific direction, and on top of that we are devoted members, then that's the life we should observe unfolding before our eyes.

Sadly, despite my most sincere efforts, this wasn't my case...

Disappointed. 
 
My first and biggest challenge relates to the concept of "continuous revelation" that the Mormon church claims to be built on.

For over 3 decades I proudly raised my hand to sustain 15 men as prophets, seers, and revealers, yet they are not able to clarify a number of core questions pertaining the church history (ranging from practices, teachings, and decisions made by past top leaders).
Technically, they could even turn to the seer stone in their possession for some answers, but it seems they don't like that option as well. 

The BOM itself (see 2 Nephi 26:33), explains that God "doeth nothing save it be plain unto the children of men". In other words, clarity is the "manner of God". And if it's not done in the manner of God, then it's priestcraft (as the rest of that chapter is all about). 

That said, I wonder, where is the clarity when it comes to Brigham Young introducing the priesthood ban (and where is the revelation that he received about such an impactful change)?
Where is the clarity when it comes to the translation of the BOM or when it comes to Joseph Smith's polygamy or the masonry-like temple endowment ritual and so forth?

My second big challenge pertains just the fallibility of these 15 men.
The equation seems to sound like this:
"Until they get it right, then they are prophets called from God. But if they don't, well, it has to be accepted that sometimes their humanity gets in the way. You're still supposed to follow."

So, for example, if you would happen to be born black in the first half of the 1900's, you were expected to give up the priesthood and the critical-to-salvation temple ordinances as part of your devotion to God, only to discover less than a century later that the Mormon church now "disavows" this supposedly inspired-by-God directive... 
Wow... and no, something is clearly off with this approach. 

Third challenge: tithing.
I never had a problem to pay a tenth of my income, it was just natural to me to contribute to the growth of the kingdom. 
It was only in the past few years, though, that the temple recommend question about the tithing payment started to make less sense...   
I get that the temples have operating costs and I'm totally ok to chat about my church attendance and moral conduct, but does God really measure my worthiness based on a tenth of income regularly submitted in order to enter His house?
The same verse from the BOM shared above quotes that God "inviteth [all the children of men] to come unto Him and partake of His goodness; and He denieth none that come unto Him", which translated means "no actual membership fee expected".

Also, I can't really ignore how rich the Mormon church is today and how easily the temples could be run without expecting a dime from its members. Yet, although the Mormon church has changed the temple endowment structure multiple times just in the past 2 decades, the pecuniary expectation of the tithing has never been reviewed...
On the contrary, it went from an originally 2% paid after debts and family needs to a 10% to be paid no matter the circumstance, and from a voluntary offer to a temple access restraining condition.  

Apart from the above personal conflicts, I wouldn't be fair if I highlighted just what I don't understand.
So, since I like fairness, I'll mention a few good things that I love about the Mormon church. 
On a humanitarian level, I appreciate the way the Mormon church reacts to emergency situations (such as natural disasters) and strives to bring relief around the world (where there is extreme poverty). 
On a community level, I cannot deny that belonging to a "healthy" LDS branch/ward can be fun, it provides a network that you don't find so easily elsewhere and opportunities to connect with new people, and it tests your resolution to follow Jesus. 

Well... eye-opening for sure, but harrowing at the same time...
After years of attending seminary and institute, plus a two-year full-time mission, I was aware of some unresolved "hard questions," but I never grasped their real extent, so I could never give them the proper weight.

The level of detail provided in the CES Letter is simply very hard, if not impossible, to ignore. I couldn't just bury all that information in the sand and keep singing "All is well in Zion."

Once I read it, I couldn't find a way to reconcile it, and I literally lost sleep for a few days.

Part of me even thought that maybe there were valid explanations to debunk Brother Runnells' arguments... but I couldn't find any. Rather, I only found more sources supporting his research.

In order to truly "overcome" the CES Letter, the Mormon Church would need to provide an immense amount of clarification and evidence, that currently doesn't have.